time for sysyphus

"I said, Ji Zhongnian, you have to like others, not me."

Lin Si let go of the handle of the umbrella, and the huge umbrella rolled down beside him and Ji Zhongnian. The black umbrella seemed to be abandoned, and rolled alone through the standing water beside him.

The rain splashed and hit the faces of the two people. Ji Zhongnian was stunned because of Lin Si, not only because of this sentence, but also because of Lin Si's expression when he said this sentence.

Lin Si held his wrist instead, probably because he was afraid that his words would not be useful enough, and said it again with a crying voice that was not obvious in the sound of the rain, "Ji Zhongnian, you must like others, okay?"

His words poured into Ji Zhongnian's ears word by word, and for a moment, Ji Zhongnian felt an indescribable tingling pain.

Even such a man who had always been calm was confused by Lin Si's soft words at the moment. He didn't even know how to respond, because it was impossible for him to agree to "like others" that Lin Si said.

Ji Zhongnian was afraid that he would be confused by the rain, so he said worriedly: "You're starting to talk nonsense. I'll take you in first—"

"I'm not talking nonsense. No!"

Although the rain was bitterly cold, Lin Si didn't seem to notice it, and stubbornly wanted to finish speaking, "Promise me, I beg you to promise me, you can like anyone, but don't like me."

Although he also knows that this is impossible, everything that wants to be changed cannot be changed.No matter whether he leaves here or not, no matter whether he refuses Ji Zhongnian or not.

Lin Si's voice was mixed with shattered hope, which was similar to a kind of desperate pleading. Ji Zhongnian was annoyed by his nonsense, "What do you think I am? A robot? Press a button to switch likes People? My liking is not easy to give out. Lin Si, I just like you, and I can't change it. "

He knew that his emotions and attention had already been controlled by Lin Si, just like the vines attached to this person, growing silently where he didn't realize it, and gradually entangled his whole heart.

They are all rooted, how can they be pulled out?

Lin Si was silent, tears and rain mixed in his eyes, even so, he could clearly see Ji Zhongnian's firmness when he looked at him in the blur.

Ji Zhongnian really likes him, and he, of course, is not willing to say "you go and like someone else" to the person he likes.

But what can be done.God will not let them go.

A string in his heart that had been stretched for a long time broke like this, and Lin Si burst into tears uncontrollably, repeating three words in his mouth: "Why, why, why..."

He looked like a lunatic crying, yelling three words that Ji Zhongnian couldn't understand, and because of excitement, he hammered his kneecaps with both hands to vent the pain at this moment.

Ji Zhongnian's face changed in fright, fearing that he would continue to hurt himself, he immediately clamped his wrists with one hand, "Lin Si!"

Lin Si refused to stop, so Ji Zhongnian forcefully stopped his movements, and then probed Lin Si's forehead with his other hand, and found that it was terribly hot.

It's no wonder that Lin Si said a lot of crazy words, and he was completely confused.

After some struggle, even the most transparent eyeballs of Lin Si couldn't even lighten up. He had exhausted all his strength, and his body was exhausted and collapsed due to the fever.

This thin body was leaning against Ji Zhongnian's arms, the skin and the surrounding rain shone with a cold white light.

"You have a fever." Ji Zhongnian pressed his head on his neck, slowly stroking the back of his head, "I'll take you back and find a doctor for you."

Lin Si couldn't hear the second half of his sentence, because his eyelids were so tightly closed together, Ji Zhongnian's appearance of calling him anxiously gradually faded, and the sound of the torrential rain in his ears gradually became blurred...

Lin Si passed out in Ji Zhongnian's arms.

Ji Zhongnian anxiously carried Lin Si into the house, put him on his bed, changed Lin Si's rain-soaked clothes, and covered him with a soft quilt to keep him warm.

The family doctor was called by a phone call and gave Lin Si a drip, which contained ingredients for reducing fever and calming down, and helped him treat the injury on his hand.

In the middle of the night, Ji Zhongnian sat quietly beside Lin Si's bed, a small dim yellow lamp illuminated the warm room, and the humidifier slowly spit out thin water mist.

He heard Lin Si talking in his sleep, intermittently, like porcelain pieces falling out of a broken heart.

"Master Ji...don't be sad..." Lin Si's voice was burnt out, very hoarse, "don't be sad...you, don't..."

Ji Zhongnian reached out and gently touched Lin Si's forehead hair, wiping off the cold sweat oozing from his temples.In his memory, it seems that he has never seen Lin Si with such a fragile time.

At that time, even in my dreams, there were tears.

Although he didn't understand what Lin Si said in the rain, the sadness and deep love in Lin Si's eyes at that time were like a knife stabbing his heart.

He regretted having quarreled with Lince.

"What dream did you have?" Ji Zhongnian opened his mouth and asked Lin Si silently, "Is there anything I don't know?"

Lin Si's eyes were tightly closed, and he was trapped in a cold dream. At first, he could only see a dark gray haze, and then the color in his vision became darker and darker, turning into a large indistinct deep black.

He was a little scared, looking around in the dark and no one, so he could only walk forward aimlessly, but after walking for a long time, he realized that he had actually been standing still and had never walked out of this black hole-like place.

Just as he was hesitating, a ferocious and terrifying face suddenly appeared in front of him, which instantly startled Lin Si.

——It was Ji Xiao, with a knife in his hand, he stabbed Lin Si directly into the heart!

Lin Si couldn't feel the pain, but the blood hole with the knife stuck in his body was getting bigger and bigger, and the blood spurted out from his heart, which was so dazzling that it dyed every inch of his skin red.

If this goes on, he will die.

But he couldn't stop the loss of blood.

The surrounding blackness became deeper, and Ji Xiao showed a creepy face, like a ghost.

Lin Si felt that his life was passing, but he was helpless. He was like a drowning fish, sinking and sinking in the black mist, struggling desperately and unable to be rescued.

"Don't—no! Someone help me...help...I, I don't want to die...I——!"

He shouted desperately. When he was desperate, the black mist in front of him was suddenly pushed away by a pair of hands stretched in, and half of the extremely weak light penetrated, but it was enough to illuminate the world around Lin Si.

The light slowly zoomed in on him.

"Lins, Lins..." someone called him.

At this moment, Lin Si couldn't distinguish between reality and the world of dreams. He just wanted to escape, and the hand that drenched in the sun stretched out to him.

He reached out and grabbed it.

"Ah!!" Lin Si suddenly woke up from the nightmare.

He opened his eyes chaotically, and the tears stored in the eye sockets instantly overflowed from the edge, making this pale face wet and messy.

"Lins."

It was the voice in the dream.

Lin Si was still trapped in a nightmare, unable to recover, until Ji Zhongnian held his face with warm palms, "Are you okay? Look at me."

Lin Si looked at him intently, and suddenly lowered his head, only to realize that he was holding on to Ji Zhongnian's hand tightly, and hadn't let go. He was so strong that he scratched the back of Ji Zhongnian's hand with blood marks.

"I'm sorry," he quickly let go, rubbed the back of Ji Zhongnian's hand distressedly, and exhaled upwards, "Did I scratch you? I'm sorry..."

Ji Zhongnian took out a hand and smoothed his messy hair: "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah." Lin Si covered his aching temple.

"What did you dream about?"

"A...a horrible person. And...the future."

Ji Zhongnian frowned and comforted him: "I don't know what the future you're talking about, but it's just a dream. You live in reality, and there is me in reality. I have the ability to protect you. Don't be afraid."

He comforted Lin Si, took the towel on the bedside table, and helped Lin Si wipe off the sweat on his face until Lin Si could calm down.

Lin Si gradually became more sober. He looked at Ji Zhongnian, and the corners of his pale lips twitched, "Ji Ershao, you seldom serve people like this, do you? I am always causing you trouble."

"When we first met, didn't I keep causing you trouble?" Ji Zhongnian also smiled, touched Lin Si's forehead again, and said, "Go on to sleep, I'll be with you."

Ji Zhongnian's existence was like a sleeping pill, which slowly lowered Lin Si's dangling heart. He was still tired, but not so scared anymore.

Eyelids were slowly covered, and Lin Si had a good night's sleep without having any more nightmares.

After recovering from his illness that day, Lin Si stayed in his room all the time, ate very little and didn't sleep much, and passed a short period of time in this taciturn and quiet state.

From Ji Zhongnian's point of view, Lin Si's mouth and heart are closed, and he always sits quietly by the bed, his face is visibly thinner, like an animal in a cage, silent .

He would silently watch the sun rise and set outside the window, the trail of light, the circle that appeared on the horizon and then disappeared on the horizon, no one knew what was going on in his heart.

Even though Lin Si refused to speak, Ji Zhongnian still came to see him every day. Day after day, at a fixed time, this man would definitely appear in front of Lin Si on time and say a few words to him.

Even, no response was received.

The author says:

Because the elderly at home suddenly fell ill last week, and my grandparents were admitted to the hospital, I was busy taking care of them, so I haven't been able to update the article. I sincerely apologize to everyone.

It's three o'clock today, to make up for it, I'm sorry.