law of entrapment

The air conditioner was on in the lounge, the sliding doors were closed, and the incandescent lights were bright.Xianhua's eyes seemed to have fallen into a corner of her heart that she hadn't touched for a long time.

"I'm not gay, but my partner is a girl. In other words, my legal wife who passed away was gay." Xianhua said, this is not a private secret, it's like a knife piercing her heart.

Apart from being seen through by Mo Yu, she never thought of talking to anyone else.

Tian Youxian suddenly opened his eyes wide.When they met for the first time, he wondered why such a young and beautiful girl was willing to work here. It takes a lot of courage to accompany the old people with their youth, especially the old people in such a small group.

He used to think it was just love, but now it seems that Miss Xiaohua's story is not as simple as it seems.

"I was an orphan, but not in the traditional sense. I was given away by my parents when I was very young. When I was in elementary school, the couple had their own children. I ended up on welfare. hospital."

"So I lacked love in my childhood and longed for love very much, but this is something I have always been unwilling to admit. Tell myself that I will be the best even if I don't rely on anyone, even without parents."

Xianhua was laughing when she said these words, she was relieved about this a long time ago, it's not that the wound will not hurt after the scab has healed, but that there are far more painful wounds than this.

"The year I met Yan Gui, I was 15 years old and she was 13 years old, in a public junior high school. If it wasn't for the compulsory education, we would never have had the chance to meet each other, but we did."

Xianhua had imagined countless times that if she hadn't taken a year of elementary school late, and if she hadn't dropped out of school for a year in the middle, she wouldn't have met Yan Gui.

How well that would all be.There won't be so much stolen goodness, and it won't be as bad as it is now.

"We are completely different." Xianhua said with a bitter smile and sweetness. She still remembers that Yan Gui said that day with two braids. T-shirts, wrap yourself up like a hedgehog."

"Actually, I hated her very much at first, not because I hated her, but because I instinctively looked down on girls who wore all the beautiful skirts and were held in the palms of their parents, thinking they were squeamish."

Xianhua lowered her eyes slightly, and sighed with a smile: "Thinking about it later, it wasn't contempt, or even envy, but an inferiority complex engraved in my bones."

"It's just that for her, my hatred that started with low self-esteem will be a little bit more. Because Yan Gui not only has beautiful skirts and stationery, she also has the first grade in the class. And grades are the only way I can be fair to others. competition stuff."

I thought I could talk a lot non-stop, but after finishing the beginning of the story, Xianhua got stuck.It seems that the girl who loves to laugh has left too many footprints in her mind, and it is no longer possible to weigh which is more important.

The eye sockets were slightly wet, and the non-waterproof mascara was soaked and wet in the corners of the eyes. Xianhua sorted out her emotions before continuing: "Later... Later, I actually don't know why we became friends, but we became friends for no reason. Very good friend."

"From junior high school to high school to university, we all studied together. We are each other's only good friends and have never been separated."

Tian Youxian listened quietly, his heart tugged a little bit.Xianhua omitted many words, but he knew that too many emotions and years were hidden in the word "later".

Can't touch it, or don't want to look directly at it, Tian Youxian doesn't know which one.

"Although Yan Gui has never expressed her feelings, we are good best friends in the eyes of others, and she always feels that she hides it well. But for someone like me who was abandoned since childhood and is naturally sensitive to emotions..." Xian Hua choked up and bit her dry lips, "I felt it as early as when I was in high school."

"She likes me, not the kind between friends, but I know it but never expose it."

"I'm just hypocritical and self-deceiving. I'm doomed to be unable to respond to her feelings, but I'm greedy for the warmth she gives me."

Xianhua didn't know how to describe her psychology at that time, because she was sure that as long as she kept controlling the ambiguous distance like this, Yan Gui would be eaten to death by herself, and she would always revolve around her.

The other party will even have no courage to cross the line because of fear of losing her 'friend'.

"Actually, the best result is that we parted ways after going to university, but I still applied to the same university as her."

Because I don't want to give, and I don't want to let go.

Xianhua suddenly laughed, but her expression was so sad that it didn't match her smile: "I thought this relationship would be back on track after I found a boyfriend, fell in love, and got married. Then the love I have can be seamlessly connected, She will always get used to it. After all, in the bottom of Yan Gui's heart, she is also thinking about our pure friendship."

The door of the lounge was closed, and the air conditioner was blowing slightly. It was originally a mild warm wind, but it had a chilly feeling that frightened the heart.

Listening to the other party's straightforward confession, Tian Youxian's mood is actually very complicated.From his standpoint, he was even very indignant. If you like it, you like it. If you don't like it, you should let it go.

He couldn't understand Xianhua's irresponsible psychology, and he couldn't imagine that such a gentle and kind girl actually had unknown fragility and darkness in her heart.

"But, maybe it's because I'm so bad, even God can't stand it anymore. When I was about to graduate in my senior year, I had a serious liver problem, and I saw the god of death waving at me."

Xianhua was sitting on the chair, staring down at the ground with a dazed expression: "But... But Yan belongs to her, she did not hesitate to break up with her family, and spent all her savings to treat my illness."

"The liver in my body now is part of her matching transplant to me." Xianhua's voice was trembling uncontrollably, and she was sobbing uncontrollably as she covered her belly with her hands.

"At that time, I suddenly felt that no one in this world should treat me so well. I knew everything already and asked her if she wanted to marry me. I still remember her joyful expression at that moment, like I can't believe I like her too."

"She said that we would be together forever. At that moment, I was also very happy. It's just that I confused liking and gratitude."

"More importantly, I never thought about what it means to be gay. Not only spiritually, but also physically. I... have no way to accept it."

"It was I who made mistakes, repeated mistakes again and again, and even...I betrayed her...I forced her to death." There are some words that Xianhua can't say, because even she herself feels disgusting and degrading.

But she still took out a tissue to wipe away her tears, she didn't come to cry.He took a deep breath and said, "That's why I came to Rainbow Manor to work. It's been three years. Three years ago, I wanted to commit suicide for a while, but when I was packing her things, I accidentally found the volunteer badge she left behind." .”

"It was only after I set foot on this manor that I realized the majesty and greatness of love, and my hatefulness. I will probably stay in Rainbow Manor for the rest of my life, atone for my sins or accomplish what she wants to do."

After listening to the whole speech, Tian Youxian was already stunned, his chest trembled intermittently, and he didn't know what to say at all.

"So Youxian, I don't mean anything else, and I don't want you to compare with me. But most homosexual sexual orientations are born, and there will always be a small number of cases of acquired sex." Xianhua's mood has stabilized, except The red and swollen voice of the eye circles has returned to calm.

Xianhua looked at Tian Youxian with a serious tone: "Youxian, I want you to ask yourself seriously, are you sure you are really bent? Are you really accepting the same sex from body to heart?"

[The author has something to say]: Xianxian has already xxooed with Professor Mo in his mind, and he is really, really bent and almost forced to love! !

That's right, squat a forced love~

ps. There is another tragedy~ but there are no useless branches in this article, every word you read may be a planted bomb (I seem to be talking too much again)