growing up porcelain doll

◎The days passed quickly, seeing the results of the preliminary rounds of those students who participated in various competitions came out one after another, some of them were unreasonable because their results were not so good

The days passed quickly, seeing the preliminary results of those students who participated in various competitions came out one after another, and some of them returned to the classroom because their grades were not particularly satisfactory, so they returned to the classroom to attend classes with peace of mind and concentrate on preparing for the college entrance examination .

But Hu Cong has always been excellent. Not long after the preliminary results came out, he continued to participate in the training camp and prepared for the semi-finals.

During the period, when he returned to school for class, he found that his desk was placed in the last row, and Gong Qing already had a new deskmate. Although he felt a little uncomfortable, he didn't say much after all.During the time he stayed in school, he was still the same as usual, waiting for Gong Qing to eat together, go back to the dormitory together, and go to class together, but he was keenly aware that Gong Qing seemed unhappy and was always sleepy.

Before going to the training camp, Hu Cong wanted to have a good chat with Gong Qing, but when he thought that he was going to be out of school soon, even if Gong Qing told him, he would not be able to help him solve any problems, but it would only increase Gong Qing's troubles.Besides, although the current relationship between himself and Gong Qing looks like we are still good friends on the surface, he knows in his heart that he still can't let go of Gong Qing. As long as the problem starts, he can't help asking the bottom line, and wants to give him a relationship that surpasses that between friends. care.However, there is still a boundary between good friends, at least he can't go deep into what Gong Qing doesn't want to say, otherwise he will cross the boundary, so he didn't ask too much.

Gradually, Xiaoya and Gong Qing became acquainted. With Gong Qing's help, she not only improved her grades in the major exams several times in a row, but also made great progress, from the bottom of the class to the top two in the class by leaps and bounds. Ten, this made the students in the class look at her with admiration, and even most of the top ten students in the class had a stronger sense of crisis.

One day during class break, Xiaoya looked at Gong Qing who was working hard on the calculations, and asked, "Oh, Gong Qing, can I ask you a question?"

Gong Qing said without raising her head, "Huh? If you have any questions, you can just ask, and 'can I ask', what if I say no?"

Xiaoya curled her lips and said, "If you say 'no', I won't ask."

Gong Qing sneered, finally stopped writing and looked at her, and said with a smile, "Then you ask."

"Your grades are so good, why don't you go to participate in the subject competition with them? You see, Hu Cong has already gone to the training camp. If he comes back with a national award, he will definitely be recommended by then, and he will be able to leave school in April next year. , you don’t need to take the college entrance examination. I don’t think you are worse than him. If you go to participate in physics or chemistry competitions, you will definitely get a recommended spot.” Xiaoya said seriously.

Gong Qing was silent for a while.When Hu Cong asked him to join the competition, he refused, and when the teacher came to him, he also refused, even when his elder brother told him about it, he still refused.Everyone couldn't figure out why. With his ability, it would definitely not be a problem to pass the preliminary round and enter the semi-finals and then come back with a national award, but he refused again and again.

In fact, he also considered for a long time whether to participate in this kind of subject competition, just like Xiaoya said, after getting the recommendation quota, he should leave school in April next year and no longer need to take the college entrance examination. It sounds beautiful, but after that How to pass the four or five months?When I stay at home and have nothing to do, I will think about those messy problems. Staying in such a familiar environment, even if my eldest brother is not at home, I can always recall his smell.

Ever since he was sure he had a different feeling for his eldest brother, that room had become a horrible container.It contains all the memories about the two of them, a book, a lamp, and a bed, all of which record all the stories between them.And he himself knows clearly that his feelings for his elder brother are against ethics and morals, should not happen, and even have no results, so he has been working hard to restrain that feeling, trying to keep himself busy. do what he wants.But when he returned to this room every weekend, he still couldn't hold back the throbbing in his heart. He could clearly feel those thoughts in his heart that shouldn't have been ruthlessly suppressed by him, but at the same time they were going crazy. increase.

The snowball of contradictions rolled in his heart, until he felt that he could hardly bear it, so he just wanted to escape, to a place without these memories, to a place without the shadow of his eldest brother, to escape into a crazy world. In learning, let the sea of ​​questions submerge yourself.

So he is studying all the time, he can't give himself too much free time, otherwise the whirlwind thoughts in his heart can crush him ruthlessly.

So he doesn't want to go to the competition, he doesn't want to be recommended, he has to take the college entrance examination, at least his busy life can give him a two-month probation, so he is content.Look, his requirements are already so low.

Xiaoya saw that he didn't speak for a long time, so she wondered if she had said something wrong, felt a little embarrassed, and said, "Well, I just asked casually, if it's not convenient for you to answer, just pretend I didn't ask."

Gong Qing, who was wandering, came back to her senses when she heard the sound. He said lightly, "It's nothing inconvenient. I just want to take the college entrance examination. After all, I have studied for so many years, so I feel a little regretful not to take the exam."

Xiaoya's eyes widened, it was the first time she heard such a novel idea.Although she felt that it was a pity that Gong Qing didn't take the road of recommendation, but with his academic performance, he couldn't get into any good university, so it didn't seem to be a big deal.

She asked again: "Then, which university do you want to go to? Jinghai Jiangwu Sicheng Universities, which one do you want to go to?"

This question is really difficult for Gong Qing.If it was before, he would have chosen Wushi A University without hesitation, but now, he hesitated.If you are in the same school and in the same city as your elder brother, you will inevitably have the idea of ​​wanting to get closer, and everyone is getting older, and your elder brother is three years older than him. Finding a girlfriend and falling in love is a must. It's a very normal thing at this age, but he doesn't want to see it, and knowing it in his heart doesn't mean he won't feel uncomfortable.

If two people stay in the same city, then that city will also become his shackles, he can't refuse his elder brother's care for him, and he can't stop his elder brother's care for him, then he doesn't know if he can control it My heart is full of love for my elder brother.After all, he was still afraid that he would lose to desire.

So, in order to avoid future troubles, then leave, the farther the better!

As if he had made up his mind, he replied, "Think about it, A University in Beijing."

Xiaoya nodded enviously, and said, "Wow, that's great, I think you're fine." After finishing speaking, her expression darkened, like a deflated ball, and said, "I'm so envious of you, I I don’t even dare to think about A University in Beijing, it’s too difficult for me.”

Gong Qing chuckled and encouraged: "Don't envy me, I think you are already great, you have to have confidence in yourself."

Xiaoya's eyes lit up, and she said excitedly, "Do you think I can be admitted to Beijing University A?"

Gong Qing thought for a while, nodded, and said, "Well, I think you still have great potential. Anyway, you still have more than half a year to go. I believe you can break through yourself again."

Although Gong Qing didn't say whether she could be admitted to Beijing University A, she was full of confidence and strength as if she had already been affirmed. She smiled and said, "Well, I will work harder!"

In the blink of an eye, it was the New Year again, and Gong Qing felt that this time really passed too fast.He went back to school to make up classes after only [-] days of summer vacation. In the last semester of senior high school, he seldom contacted his elder brother on weekends because of the excuse of being busy. The news about his elder brother was that he really missed him so much that he only replied a few words. Usually, He tried his best to control his desire to confide, because he couldn't speak those words easily, otherwise his emotions would be like a flood that opened the gate, and he would fall apart.

Now, he really loves and fears the holiday. After all, if the strings stretched for too long are not loosened properly, they will be torn apart, not to mention that he is a human being and not a god.But during the long vacation, it is inevitable to get along with the elder brother. They are under the same roof and sleep in the same bed.

The longer we get along, the more difficult it is to hold on to our relationship. He is really afraid that one day he will be discovered because of his inattentiveness, so he always feels very hard when he is in front of his elder brother.

They drove to their grandparents' house during the Chinese New Year this year, because it was cold at their grandparents' house, Gong Qing and Cheng Yu naturally huddled together to keep warm when they were sleeping.Gong Qing felt quite helpless. If he wanted to let his elder brother who had no other distractions sleep together, he still had to depend on the weather. He didn't know if the current situation was getting deeper and deeper.

At night, Cheng Yu drank too much water and was woken up by urinating in the middle of the night. He hesitated whether to go out to the bathroom, but as soon as he put one foot out of the quilt, a chill came in through the gap in the quilt, and he was so cold that he took a nap. trembling.

He struggled back and forth between getting up and down, and finally succumbed to the desire to urinate. He was cruel, and quickly got up from the bed, put on his clothes, stuffed Gong Qing's quilt, and went out to the toilet.

Although it was cold, the moon in the sky was very bright, but Cheng Yu was double-struck by the cold wind and urine, so he was really not in the mood to appreciate the peaceful and beautiful moonlight.After solving his inner urgency, he hurried into the room again. The physical body was warmer than the outside anyway. With such a poor body feeling, he was not so anxious to get under the quilt after entering the room.

The moonlight outside the window cast a layer of light on the light-colored curtains, and this light shone through the curtains into the room and darkened it by another degree.Cheng Yu took advantage of the faint moonlight to look at Gong Qing who was curled up in the quilt. He was curled up like a cat, only half of his face was exposed outside the quilt, and the hair on his forehead was tilted obediently in one direction. The thick eyelashes were slightly upturned, guarding his tightly closed eyes.

Cheng Yu suddenly thought of Gong Qing's appearance ten years ago. At that time, Gong Qing appeared in front of him like a porcelain doll, making him happy and cherished.Now ten years have passed, not only has Gong Qing not grown disabled, but he has also become more handsome and handsome. After the immaturity on his face receded, he began to become angular. His height and skeleton made him look like a man. A big step forward in that direction.

Cheng Yu just stared at Gong Qing for a while. He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen anyone for another semester or for other reasons. He felt that Gong Qing had changed a lot, and that kind of calmness seemed to appear on him. It was too early, which made him feel a little distressed.

His hand slowly touched Gong Qing's head, and his fingertips gently stroked his sleeping side face, as if he was afraid of disturbing his dream at the moment.

Gong Qing opened her eyes in a daze under the gentle touch, and saw his elder brother lying on the bedside looking at him, and asked, "Brother? Are you back?" Did Cheng Yu go to the bathroom just now? Felt.

Cheng Yu withdrew his hand with a smile and said, "Well, did I wake you up?"

"No, I just felt you went out." Gong Qing helped Cheng Yu lift the cup beside him and pulled him in quickly, saying, "Your hands are so cold, I'll warm you up."

Cheng Yu was also polite, and put his hand directly on Gong Qing's waist. Gong Qing was shivering from the cold, and was half awakened from sleepiness.He was in the big brother's position, covering his hands with his hands and clinging to his waist, and holding the big brother's feet with his calves to keep him warm.

At that moment, Cheng Yu felt very sweet, warm, and happy in his heart, and even had the urge to hug Gong Qing again. He didn't know why he had such strange thoughts, maybe it came from His brother's thoughtfulness and care must have made him feel very satisfied.

The night was getting deeper, but the two people in the quilt warmed each other in an almost snuggling position, and spent this cold night dreaming and waking up to dawn.