dear psychiatrist

Speaking of tobacco, Zhuo Qihua nodded and admitted that he was addicted.But for wine, Zhuo Qihua did not have this hobby.

For one thing, Zhuo Qihua's capacity for alcohol is not considered good, after only a few drinks, his head is dizzy and he doesn't know how serious it is.In business units, what are you most afraid of?It was wrong words and wrong things!Zhuo Qihua, who thinks he is not good at drinking, simply gave up his 'skill' of drinking.

Secondly, everyone must have felt the hangover.When I woke up the next day, my whole body felt weak, especially my head felt not as active as before.This was the most fatal blow to Zhuo Qihua. She had always used her IQ as an issue, but she was unwilling to cause brain damage due to drinking.

Based on the above two reasons, Zhuo Qihua was unwilling to have a drink at the dinner table when pushing glasses to change or persuading him to drink, and it didn't matter who asked.

But today, Zhuo Qihua broke the precedent.Seeing her clear her throat, Xu Shi felt a little dry.She smiled shyly at Tao Yaoyao, and said, "Why don't I take a wine glass too, and I'll drink with you while telling my story?"

Tao Yaoyao glanced at Zhuo Qihua beside her, and there was a faint smile on the corner of her mouth, but it was not obvious.Seeing her pointing to the red wine glass not far away, the meaning couldn't be more obvious: there is a wine glass there, if you want to drink, you can go to that glass by yourself.

"Come on, wait a minute. I'll take a sip of wine to moisten my throat. After all, we're not professional storytellers. Think about those artists who tell stories and comment on Tantan. , talking for an hour or two without being out of breath. Look at me again, I’m so thirsty before I even say a few words.” When Zhuo Qihua faced Tao Yaoyao, he didn’t have much emotion. cautious.

At this moment, Zhuo Qihua was slipping while talking.Looking at her virtue, it seems that she didn't finish all the things that should be said and should not be said today.Tomorrow, someone will cut off his tongue.

While chatting for a while, Zhuo Qihua had already poured himself a small glass of red wine and began to drink for himself.After taking a sip, she heard her continue to speak: "

Being isolated from everyone is not a big deal to me.Maybe it's because I'm used to this kind of life.Or maybe it's because I feel in my heart that living in my own world is not a bad thing.

But after all, there are some things that I can't bear.You know, in the days when I was isolated, the biggest victim was not me, but the person closest to me.

I am such a person, if you can't understand me, you can!If there is any problem, come to me.But I can't just stand by and watch, my friend suffers for me.

To be honest, I was terrified at the time.I am afraid that one day, I will be thrown away as a burden by my only friend. "

Zhuo Qihua spoke in a very calm tone, as if the words he said were ordinary people's gossip, and had nothing to do with the pain and suffering of the past.And Zhuo Qihua's calm tone also made Tao Yaoyao give her a high look.

Or Tao Yaoyao's little willfulness in her bones, she seemed to be deliberately testing Zhuo Qihua's bottom line.With half-closed eyes, he asked, "Is the source of your childhood pain the cruel isolation by your classmates?"

Perhaps it was because of Tao Yaoyao's words that hurt Zhuo Qihua.At this moment, Zhuo Qihua's complexion was not good-looking, seeing her frown slowly tightened, she expressed the past pain in her heart little by little: "

If you think being isolated is cruel, then you are wrong!

I clearly remember that one day on the way to school, I found a puppy.The puppy was born not long ago, and his eyes were still closed.It seemed that he was injured, his legs could not move, and he was lying on the grass and screaming.

I don't know why this little thing is in the grass by the side of the road, but the bitch doesn't know where it went.Somehow, I have a very strong feeling in my heart that it is a rejected child just like me.

Maybe it was discarded by the bitch just because it was injured.And I am not a bad person, just because of the acne all over my face, I was excluded by almost everyone.

I don't know where the sense of responsibility came from, which made me have different feelings for this little guy.There was that moment when I felt like I could take care of it as if it were an integral part of my life.If I can take good care of it, maybe I won't be the useless me that my classmates say.

Presumably you also know that small animals are not allowed in schools.But I still sneaked into the school with that puppy in my arms.

Because of the class, I can't bring it into the classroom.So I carefully hid it next to the small tree, and covered it with a lot of leaves as a cover.At that time, the idea was very simple, as long as school was over, I would take it home immediately.And what it has to do is bravely stay by the small tree for a day.

As soon as get out of class was over, I hurried to see if the little guy was still there?Has anyone found it?From time to time, help it fill in some leaves for cover.

But I didn't think that my behavior of entering and leaving the classroom made others doubt.

I don't know who it is, followed me and found my puppy.I just remember that after lunch, I bought a can of milk from the grocery store and hurried to the little tree.But I was shocked to find that there were a few classmates standing beside the small tree, looking at me with ill intentions.

To be honest, at that moment, I was terrified.As I said just now, if it was just a prank aimed at me, I wouldn't care so much, but..."

Having said that, Zhuo Qihua paused, as if to adjust his emotions.I thought I had already put it down, but I didn't expect that the scars in my heart were still there and never faded away.

Suddenly Zhuo Qihua said to Tao Yaoyao in a nonchalant tone, "How? This time, don't you intend to guess the ending of the story?"

"..." Tao Yaoyao hesitated for a moment, then looked at the person in front of her with a look that could almost be called scrutiny.After a long time, I heard her speak: "I guess, they are taking advantage of that puppy's safety to embarrass you. They insult you verbally, or beat you with fists."

Seeing Zhuo Qihua's hearty laugh, Tao Yaoyao realized that she had guessed wrong.Zhuo Qihua said: "Insulting, beating, some children would even pick up stones on the ground and hit me. I was isolated as a child, and I often received such treatment.

These are nothing to me.None of this, at least, seems to me to be anything but cruel.

To be honest, I no longer remember the name of the leading girl among the group of children.Just remember, she was a complete dinosaur in my impression.Oh, of course, better looking than I was back then, but only a little bit.

She grabbed the legs of the puppy that was waiting to be fed, and flicked it back and forth, ignoring the puppy's whining and my crying.

At that moment, she saw herself as a god who controlled life and death.And that weak pup was just a little thing she played with in the palm of her hand, just for fun.

Under her gesture, the classmates bound my hands and feet.Forced me to watch her throw that poor puppy up high and then drop it down heavily.It wasn't until the puppy didn't even have the strength to howl that she stopped.

When she left with her classmates, she was still very interested and stepped on the puppy a few times. "

It would be a lie to say that Zhuo Qihua didn't hate that vicious girl.But she kept persuading herself, relieved.I don't know if everyone believes in Buddhism, but at least Zhuo Qihua believes in it.

She heard that if you love or hate someone in this life.Then in the next life, we will meet again.This is the so-called 'Love and Hate Society' in Buddhism.

"Did the puppy die in the end?" Tao Yaoyao never imagined that a junior high school kid would be so cruel and ruthless, without even a little bit of sympathy.

"Well...it died." Zhuo Qihua smiled wryly, and said: "It was pity for it to be lonely and helpless, and I wanted to take good care of it. How would I know, but I killed it.

When I looked up and saw the girl showing off her bravery to the friends beside me with excitement, I became furious and rushed up like crazy.He slammed the girl down on the ground, beat her hard, and beat her to death.

To be honest, at that moment, I wanted to beat her to death and give the puppy his life.Now think about it...

Although her companions were all by her side, no one dared to come up and pull her.They were all terrified by my appearance.

Maybe I didn't expect that I, who has always been submissive, would be so violent.This side of me scared the children to tears, and ran to the teacher staggeringly. "

Zhuo Qihua spoke intermittently, sighing from time to time.In the end, she grinned and poured the red wine in the glass into her mouth.A drop of light red liquid overflowed from the corner of his mouth, like a drop of blood flowing in his heart.