howling breath

Lin Lang hated to quarrel with Tang Yushu from the bottom of his heart.

Taking advantage of the quiet atmosphere in the room, I went to the bathroom to take a shower first.

Tang Yushu was so angry that he lay on the bed and fiddled with his mobile phone.

Send Chen Ni a message: "There's something wrong."

"Is he angry because I transferred money to him?"

"No...he wasn't angry—it seemed like I was the one who lost his temper just now like a fool. He didn't change his expression or his heartbeat the whole time." Tang Yushu replied dejectedly to Chen Ni.

Except that Lin Lang lost his temper with him when we first met, and after becoming a lover, Lin Lang turned into a temperless and always "overly sensible" partner; even if there was occasional friction between the two, the slight The sparks would also be snuffed out by Lin Lang without a trace—"This is the problem!"

Chen Ni didn't understand why this was a problem: "Doesn't this mean that Lin Lang is very mature?"

"I just...want to be acted like a spoiled child, to be relied on, to be teased a bit..."

Chen Ni used "Hahahahahahaha" all over the screen to express how much fun he was amused by Tang Yushu's brain circuits.

Seeing Chen Ni laughing so wildly, Tang Yushu was even angrier: "I don't understand why he won't allow me to be nice to him! I just think... the tighter he is, the more distance he has from me! Just I think... In fact, if someone else is nice to him, he is willing to follow!"

"You are a fan of the authorities!" Chen Ni didn't continue to laugh at Tang Yushu: "I think he obviously likes you very much!"

Tang Yushu was stunned for a few seconds: "What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you go pee when you just broke up?"

"Ah."

"Wait while you're in the toilet, I said I'd give him money, but he didn't want it. He said you were his 'lover', so taking money would only create points."

"Do you think he is strange? If I give him something, he will give it back in full! He will give me anything, but he will never give it back to him!"

"He absolutely loves you, don't worry!" Chen Ni assured him.

If there was a mirror in front of him, Tang Yushu would be able to see how weird his expression was at the moment—the eyebrows were still pressed because of anger with Lin Lang, but the corners of his mouth were raised because of Chen Ni's words: "Oh, then I believe you ..."

But Chen Ni, the "brother"'s loyalty, moved Tang Yushu for less than three seconds: "As long as the two of us are selected there, the one with normal intelligence will choose me. With such a bright mind and such a good-looking appearance, I can still stand you as a fool." Yes, that can only be true love!"

Tang Yushu replied: "Climb!"

Chen Ni sent Tang Yushu another screen full of "hahahahahahaha".

Enough of the jokes, Chen Ni seriously explained to Tang Yushu: "I think Lin Lang is a very smart person—but, he handles some things quite clumsily. You can coax him!"

"I want it!" Tang Yushu put down the phone contentedly, as if he had been given a booster shot.

The restrooms in the hotel don't have doors.So in the middle of Lin Lang's shower, Tang Yushu rushed in unimpeded.

He opened the glass door, aggressive but blushing: "I'm here to apologize."

"What are you apologizing for..." Lin Lang was a little shy, although he had never seen him before.

"I want to pay you a salary to let you come to work in our company-I didn't come up with a good idea! I thought I had considered it very well, but I didn't expect it to still make you feel uncomfortable. I reflected on it!"

"The shower is too loud, I can't hear clearly..."

"I admit that I'm jealous of your senior! I'm angry that I didn't find you when I was young-at this age, I have a company to be responsible for, and I can't stay with you forever. When I think of this, I get anxious! If you are in a hurry, you will be stupid and say something bad!"

"It's okay, it's okay!" Lin Lang was a little dumbfounded, and planned to send this guy away first: "Okay, okay, you go out first!"

Tang Yushu kept pestering her: "I can't wait! After I reflect on myself, I don't want to be angry with you for a second."

Lin Lang felt that he was coaxing the child again: "Okay, I know - you stand far away, your clothes are all wet."

"Then I'll take it off!"

After all, Lin Lang didn't allow Lin Lang to resist, so he cleaned himself up, and squeezed into the cramped space together with shamelessness.

Tang Yushu hugged Lin Lang tightly, and sniffed Lin Lang's neck with his dog's nose.

Lin Lang was tickled by him, but couldn't shirk it, and scolded him with a smile: "Aren't you tired!"

Tang Yushu's short, broken hair was drenched in water, and he looked obedient when he drooped.He shook his head: "Don't get tired of it, this is compensation."

Lin Lang rushed to clean himself up: "What to make up for..."

"Beauty..." Tang Yushu took a little effort to think about it, and then said, "Back to the 20 years before I didn't talk to you."

These words made it difficult for Lin Lang to breathe again.

Tang Yushu is always like this.Lin Lang thought to himself: When this person likes you, he will have an all-inclusive mentality for no reason—he wants to bear everything about your future, present, and even the past.

This made Lin Lang feel inferior: his own indifference and selfishness looked even more ugly in front of his enthusiasm and frankness.

It's not that I don't love him.

Obviously love him very much.

But... just can't find the confidence to look at him at the same level.

Lin Lang recalled the phone call from his father on the way back just now—"You will be the same as if you hadn't been born"; will this kind of words come out of Tang Yushu's mouth someday in the future? ——"Having loved you is the same as not loving you."

Lin Lang couldn't imagine the disappointment.

How ugly I am, I'll just see it myself; I don't want one day you'll have enough of me, look at me with cold eyes, and accuse me with certainty in your mouth.

Because I love you so much.

If I am not a rotten person full of holes, if I was born in a gentle family environment, I don’t need to be rich, powerful, ordinary, or even poor; I have parents who accompany and support me, instead of "" One extreme, the other is not a good thing"... They love themselves, so they have been loved, so they know how to love someone-if it is as imagined, I still have the confidence to be owned by you.

You love with zeal and fearlessness, and I love with all my might.

At the age when you are playing happily, I am busy patting my mother's blood off my clothes... We are different, but no one is right or wrong, it's just...

Yushu is lovely, but not worthy of her own love.

Tang Yushu said good things, but Lin Lang in his arms didn't respond.

He turned his back to himself; his thin body seemed to be a little cooler than when he hugged him just now.He trembled imperceptibly, as if the person holding him was not a lover he could relax and rely on, but a harsh judge in charge of the law, or an impermanent ghost who claimed his life...

Tang Yushu was a little frightened, and gently turned Lin Lang's face, making him turn a little bit so that he could see his eyes.

So Lin Lang turned his head sideways.

Tang Yushu asked him: "What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking..." The water fell on Lin Lang's face, but he stubbornly refused to close his eyes: "Otherwise we...don't be lovers. Let's...break up?"

Tang Yushu didn't speak.

"You should find a child who was born in a good family, who will treat you well...you go find it. Let me know when you find it, and then we will break up...not now, okay? You can keep me As a substitute, if you don’t like them enough or miss me, just call me. I’ll be there whenever I’m called... go find them, just leave me some.”

After Lin Lang finished speaking, his body trembled even more.

Holding him in Tang Yushu's arms, he felt the trembling of helplessness penetrate his skin into his heart, and he panicked terribly.

He looked at Lin Lang for a long time, and said, "Lin Lang. After I was with you, I realized that I would also be helpless."

After speaking, he turned and went out.

Lin Lang was left to dry his body silently, and put on his diapers and clothes.

Tang Yushu slept peacefully on one side with his back to him, and Lin Lang fell asleep on the other side.

Uncomfortable, no regrets.

Lin Lang had a muddled dream.

In the dream, there was a vague figure blocking the door of a room, throwing something at Lin Lang.

Lin Lang felt the pain, but he just looked up at the figure—it was his own heavy rain that finally came back!Lin Lang was about to be happy, and quickly realized that the figure was not Da Yu - Da Yu should have been caught by him and hidden in the door behind him.

The logic in the dream was chaotic and fuzzy, but Lin Lang in the dream was extremely convinced.

The man blocked the door and refused to let him pass.He said, "You don't even have the ability to protect him well."

Lin Lang pleaded guilty and pledged: "Yes."

"You don't deserve to stay."

Lin Lang nodded: "Yes..."

"So you go."

Lin Lang thought to himself: Good.Anyway, I have a living Tang Yushu - the heavy rain is just a shadow.The psychiatrist told me that the heavy rain was just made up by me, it was fake, and I should grow up and get rid of it long ago.

But after a sudden pause, Lin Lang felt that the one locked inside seemed to be Tang Yushu.

Dreams are always so illogical——thinking of this, Lin Lang decided so.

It was Tang Yushu who was closing the door, so he had to.

Lin Lang in the dream knelt down in fright, kowtowed to the man, and begged him to allow him to stay.

Knocking, knocking, time and space became completely chaotic again.Lin Lang heard the screams of the witnesses when his mother jumped off the building holding him;

I heard Tang Yushu calling my name heartily; I heard myself say to him: "Otherwise we won't be lovers, just leave some for me"; I heard Tang Yushu say to myself: "Lin Lang, I After being with you, I realized that I was so helpless myself."

When he was awake, he thought he made a rational decision, but when he encountered the "parting scene" in his dream, Lin Lang still regretted it.

Still kowtowing to the person who separated him and Tang Yushu.Knocking, I felt the warmth of my lower body again.

Tang Yushu's legs were touched by a hot and humid touch, and when he woke up, he sat up halfway—only to realize that he and Lin Lang were hugging tightly.So he lay back down again, afraid that his movements would disturb Lin Lang and wake him up.

But... Didn't they sleep on each side last night when they were choked up?

Thinking back here, Lin Lang also woke up.He escaped from the sleepy dream, saw the living Tang Yushu in front of him, suddenly hugged Tang Yushu for no reason, but let go quickly.

Although I haven't wet the bed for a while, I still wear diapers to sleep habitually.But at night, the movement of turning over may be too big, and the attached part of the diaper is peeled off in large pieces.

Urine spilled embarrassingly all over the bed and soiled Tang Yushu's body.

Both of them have classes today, so they were supposed to go back to school together.Check the time, it's 8:49 - late.

The enuresis, which hadn't recurred for a long time, came back again...so it stained the hotel beds.

Tang Yushu, expelled by Lin Lang's embrace, looked sad, and said, "You can take the subway back to school by yourself - I've been absent from class for half a day, and I'll take care of it."

Lin Lang didn't resist Tang Yushu's arrangement, and quickly got up to wash himself.

When I was leaving the house, I wanted to talk to Tang Yushu, to go back on the "breakup" I said last night, to apologize, to say "I was too late", and to swear to him that "I will work hard to learn to love you"... But Tang Yushu was removing the bed cover, and a large piece of cloth blocked him, as if separating him from the other side of time and space.

As far as I can see, there are only wet spots on the bed sheet.

It was embarrassing.

So Lin Lang escaped and went out.

The author says:

Although this paragraph has been written, but when I rewrite it...

Still wanted to cry because of Lin Lang's "self-pull".