Goodbye Wing On

I asked, "How is Xiaoyu doing?"

He was a little strange. I asked him, looked up at me, and I tried to make my eyes empty, "I haven't contacted for more than ten years, I don't know what happened. But I guess he is still in the same unit. I saw his cousin last time. Said it was still there."

I remember that year, he came to our unit to look for Xiaoyu. He was very young at the time, 33 or [-] years old. Two eyes, I don't like peach eyes in men the most, my wife doesn't have peach eyes, what do you guys look like.

He walked into my office very familiarly, with a cigarette in his mouth, "borrow a light". I was sitting behind the office desk, with a cigarette in my mouth, and was about to hand him the lighter. Holding the back of my head, I lit the cigarette.

"Is Fang Xiaoyu here?" He asked.

"Going out, do you want me to leave a message?"

"No, it's a small matter. I will be in Shenzhen during this time, and I will come again." He said.

He came again the next day, but Xiaoyu was still absent for a meeting. He said his name was Xie Yongan and he was Xiaoyu's cousin.In fact, I believed it.He sat in my office for a while and chatted for a while. His words are sharp and knowledgeable. I think it is interesting to talk to him.

Two days later, he came again, but Xiaoyu was still not there.

I have a little suspicion that he deliberately found a time when Xiaoyu was not around.

Chatted a few words, made tea for him, some unit came over with the appropriation form, to check and wait for the appropriation, I got busy, and when I got off work, I felt a little sore in my neck, twisting left and right at the gate of the unit Neck, Xie Yongan smiled at the door, his teeth dazzled, "Let's have dinner together."

I went to the small restaurant opposite the unit. After sitting down, I ordered stuffed tofu, fish ball soup and fried water spinach.

As soon as I lit a cigarette and put it in my mouth, he pressed my head and lit it again. I gave him a blank look, "Why don't you light it yourself!"

He laughed, "I'm lazy."

After a while, he said jokingly, "This is also called an indirect kiss."

At that time, I was thin-skinned and felt that my face was burning.I have a wife, recently married, but I don't think my face has ever burned like this.

I scolded him, "You are sick, and you still kiss indirectly."

"Both old men, you are blushing." He pointed at me and smiled.

I was so angry that I took the cigarette box and threw it over. He reached out and took it, "Give it to me." He confiscated the box of cigarettes that I had only smoked two.

When pouring me tea, he took the cup and shook my hand very casually.

It was a bit awkward to eat a meal, he was very good at letting people fall in, and he pulled out by himself, regardless of whether the people inside were dead or alive.

He showed up at other times, sometimes on my way home from get off work, sometimes on my way to work, or even in the garden downstairs of my house. In my impression, he never found Xiaoyu, although he repeatedly emphasized that he came for Xiaoyu.

I think I'm crazy.

He acts like that, talks like that, and besides, he's a man, and unfortunately, so am I.

What's more unfortunate is that I still have a wife, I don't know if he has one.At that age, so outstanding, there shouldn't be any.

When I got home, I felt extremely guilty and took care of the house even harder, buying vegetables and cooking, and taking care of my wife.

My wife is a simple person, with a low degree of education and a big nerve. She always feels very happy foolishly, and shows off to her close friends and family from time to time. My husband is so gentle and considerate to me. He doesn’t let me cook or mop the floor. .

There was one thing she was embarrassed to say, I was too tired to do housework every day, and my energy was a bit low at night.

One afternoon when I got off work, Xie Yongan was waiting for me at the door of my unit, excitedly holding two tickets to the A-A ball game, "We'll go to see the Shenzhen Ping An and Beijing Guoan ball games later."

I was also very excited, "Where did you get the ticket?"

"They gave it to me." A casual look, it can be seen that he often gets these.

"Are there only two? Isn't Xiaoyu going?"

"He's in trouble."

We went to a small restaurant for a meal, and happily went together.When entering the stadium, there was some confusion and there were a lot of people. He was a little taller than me, so he circled me with his arms and protected me all the way in. Because of the noise, he talked in my ear all the way, which made me itchy, and Can't make him not like this, it's too loud to hear.

It caused me to feel him whispering in my ear for a week.

When watching the game, we yelled together, cheered together, scolded the country together, and scolded the stinky feet together. He watched the game in Shenzhen and dared not support Guoan anymore. He was afraid that I would beat him up, and even more afraid that the fans around him would beat him up, so Shenzhen Pingan scored two goals, and he jumped up cheering like me, and hugged him twice.

Because of the excitement, I felt my face was hot, and his face was also flushed with excitement, because Shenzhen Ping An won, I was very happy, and my heart was beating very fast. When I hugged him, I felt his chest pounding. danced vigorously.

After he came out, he refused to leave, bought another dozen of San Miguel beer and a pack of peanuts, sat on the steps outside the stadium, drank and sang wildly with a large group of fans, drank to his heart's content, and bought another After a dozen, I finally got drunk. My wife said that a man sent me back, and it was already past two o'clock in the evening when I came back.

The next day he ended his annual leave ahead of schedule and returned to a certain city in the northeast.

There is no goodbye.

Something must have happened the night before to make him end his vacation early, and the only thing I can do is to forget.

Forget that he ever came.

Forget about that ball game.

Later, I learned intermittently from Fang Xiaoyu that Xie Yongan was already the youngest director of a certain city in the Northeast.

Even in Shenzhen, which is thousands of miles away, there is a special car to pick him up and drop him off, greet him to eat, drink and have fun, including the game tickets given that day, no wonder the location is so close to the front.

I don't know all this, I don't know anything about him.

Later, I found out that they are all gay, Fang Xiaoyu is not his cousin, Fang Xiaoyu loves him, whether he loves Fang Xiaoyu, I don't know.

Later, Fang Xiaoyu was transferred from our unit, and I had no news of Xie Yongan.

It took me a long, long time to calm down.

I have always admired him for his sharpness of drawing a knife to cut off everything at any time. I have known him until now, and he has played to the extreme.

When he talked about Xiaoyu, his tone was flat, as if he was talking about a very common acquaintance. I thought, if someone asked me, he would definitely answer in this tone, and I was just a passerby.

Comrade Passerby A didn't have the courage to ask him if he ever loved Xiaoyu.

Whether he loved or not, I robbed Xiaoyu of the time he spent with him, and Xiaoyu and him went to watch the ball game.

"That's right. We only met because of Xiaoyu. I'm really glad that I got to know you like this." His tone was very sincere, but what I wanted to say was that I hope I never knew him.

I turned my head away, not wanting him to see my eyes.

After Fang Xiaoyu left, I had absolutely no news about Xie Yongan, not because I didn't want to know, but because I didn't have any contact information about him.My life gradually returned to calm, my wife became pregnant, and everything returned to normal.

But I still have fantasies in my heart, hoping that he will contact me actively. Even until now, I have never changed my mobile phone number.

One day two months after my daughter was born, I received an email from him, "Next spring, the grass on my grave will be green, and my grave will always face south."

My whole body is cold, and I would rather not have any news from him than to get such news from him.

I immediately responded to the email, "Are you sick? Where are you? I'll see you. Give me your contact information and address."

There has been no reply.

I'm just going crazy.

I found Fang Xiaoyu's new unit, and the unit told me that he had resigned and no one knew where he had gone.

I don't even know which city Xie Yongan is in.

I am so sad, he is like air, like a ghost, nowhere to be found.

I recalled the clues in his words when I was with him, guessed which city he was in, then searched the phone number on the Internet, and called one hospital after another.

Of course not.

I couldn't sleep every day, and I had to rely on Valium to barely fall asleep. Fortunately, my wife was nervous and thought I was under a lot of work pressure.

Thirty days later, I received his second email, "Cerebral vascular malformation, the first operation has been done, as long as there is no more bleeding, it will be fine. I hope spring is safe."

All visions need to be blessed because they cannot be achieved.

This is the saddest spring of my life.

There is no way to know the whereabouts of a person who is about to die, and this person is lingering on the tip of your heart. This kind of suffering is really uncomfortable.

He won't understand.

I emailed back and asked a bunch of questions.

It was not until half a year later that he replied to my email, "It's healed, don't read it."

I don't even want to hear the voice.

After that, I disappeared for a long, long time, so long that I felt that I was calm enough.