Relying on love in the entertainment industry

Fang Nan opened his mouth to ask such a question, but it made Chu Xiting think that he had finally let go and put his mind at ease for the time being.

But he didn't think this was reassuring, because Fang Nan's condition could not be cured by surgery alone, which was something Chu Xiting had heard people say several times.

If you want to cure it, you still have to replace it with a healthy heart.

For this reason, Chu Xiting paid close attention to the current donation situation of the medical system.In any case, he owed Fang Nan a heart, and he could only feel at ease if he found another one for him - no matter how much it cost, Chu Xiting would not hesitate.

But he also knew that it was very difficult to find a suitable heart source for Fang Nan.Not to mention that due to customs in China, donors are very limited. Fang Nan himself is still a very, very rare RH-negative AB type, which makes the whole search for the heart source more difficult.

But even so, Chu Xiting still felt that as long as he had the heart, he would be able to find a suitable source of heart... If one couldn't do it, he would register ten more; if he couldn't find it in China, he would contact foreign institutions.In any case, since a suitable heart source could be obtained six years ago, there must be a way six years later.

But before he had contacted several institutions, someone from the hospital called and told him that Fang Nan refused to sign for the operation again, and this time his attitude was more determined, and he didn't even find a reason, only saying that he didn't want to have the operation.

From persuading Fang Nan earnestly to telling the truth to reprimanding him harshly, the doctor didn't change Fang Nan's thinking. Instead, he knew that the young man's parents were dead and he had no relatives and no reason. That is to say... he If he dies and refuses to sign, then no one can sign for him.

In desperation, the doctor could only contact Chu Xiting and ask him to persuade his friend.

Chu Xiting thought that Fang Nan had let go of the previous question, so when he heard the doctor's words, his expression became nervous again, and he almost hung up the phone and rushed back to the hospital.

After opening the door of the ward and entering the room, Chu Xiting saw Fang Nan reading a book with headphones on.What he was looking at was a set of picture albums, probably brought by Gallo to pass the time.

When Chu Xiting closed the door, Fang Nan raised his head and looked at the other party as if he felt something.

He reached out to turn off the music and unplugged his headphones.

Chu Xiting said: "I heard that you disagree with the operation? Why?"

Fang Nan was silent for a while, then smiled at Chu Xiting, and said, "What do people have to live for so long?"

With a gloomy expression, Chu Xiting said, "How many years have you lived? How long are you talking about? Life is still long...don't..."...to be so negative.

Fang Nan smiled and said, "Brother Xiting..."

Fang Nan hadn't uttered such a title for a long time, but Chu Xiting was stunned when he heard it.

"...I used to think that I would become like this because I lived too long." Fang Nan looked at Chu Xiting, with a clear and gentle smile on his face, and said, "Look, God Giving me such a disease and such a period of life may actually be because I shouldn’t live too long in my life. Sometimes people live a long life, but they don’t necessarily lead to happiness.”

"Sometimes I think, if during the Spring Festival eight years ago, it wasn't Cao Min who couldn't be rescued but me... maybe everyone would be much happier. He wouldn't die, you wouldn't be sad, and I would leave without knowing anything. , and there won't be too much pain..."

Chu Xiting was shocked and angry when he heard it, and tried to interrupt him with a yell: "Stop talking! Qingzhi!"

Fang Nan ignored him, and continued: "Maybe I really died of illness six years ago, that's actually pretty good. My parents don't need to take me abroad, and if they don't go abroad, they won't encounter such things...Dad Mom is in good health and is stronger than me. Without me, she would definitely live a long life, and maybe she would give me another brother and sister..."

Chu Xiting stretched out his hand to touch his face, and said, "Stop saying such things, Qingzhi. These have nothing to do with you at all... If you make a mistake, it's also my fault."

He admitted this fact to Fang Nan with some difficulty.

Fang Nan felt the trembling of his fingertips, but stretched out a pair of pale and bloodless palms to grab Chu Xiting's hand, pressed it gently to her face, and said with a smile: "Brother Xiting ...You said you loved me. That's good, you say I'm dead, okay? Now that I'm dead, I'll always remember that you loved me...not that you hated me."

His eyes were sparkling, and he looked at Chu Xiting's appearance with mixed joy and anger, and there was a bit of attachment in what he said, and also a bit of inexplicable paranoia that made people feel palpitations.

Fang Nan's tone and attitude were indescribably docile and well-behaved, as if he was back in those days.At that time, he treated Chu Xiting like a brother, a friend, and a lover... both attached and trusted.

But Chu Xiting understood that everything was different long ago.

It was as if at this moment, when Fang Nan said such a passage, although Chu Xiting hoped, he couldn't really think that Fang Nan's words contained nostalgia and tenderness.

Fang Nan used to be Fang Qingzhi, but Fang Qingzhi was not Fang Nan.

That was a change from the deepest part of the soul—Chu Xiting never knew that a person could change so much in just six years, almost beyond recognition.That was almost an irreversible change in nature, turning all the softness and kindness into a piercing abomination.

But even so, Chu Xiting did not have fear or loathing, but only a distress that could not be described in words.

The held left hand was carefully placed on the side of Fang Nan's face. Chu Xiting stretched out his right hand, stroked his short and smooth black hair, and said, "Qingzhi, you trust me. From today on, I will always I love you and will never hurt you again. You don't have to worry about such things at all."

But Fang Nan smiled, and said in a soft but firm voice: "Brother Xiting, do you know that all people in love will promise forever, thinking that their relationship will last forever, but the reason why passionate love is passionate love is Just because it's short and impulsive."

"If you tell me forever, I am willing. So, in order to make this forever forever, I should actually close my eyes at this very moment. Only in this way will all promises never change again."

Chu Xiting was at a loss for words for a long time, and then said after a long time: "No! Don't say that! Qingzhi, you believe in me, I will definitely do it."

Fang Nan lowered her head for a long time and said, "How do you believe it? Brother Xiting, I don't care if you're lying to me...but I'm really afraid...you revealed the truth halfway. You said that one day you would take me to Konghai , you said that you will only sing songs I wrote in your life...but you are not willing to lie to me for a little longer. You said you love me...I can pretend to believe it, but I don't want to give you a chance to change your mind Woolen cloth."

"It's better to die. If you die...you can't change your words."

Chu Xiting didn't expect him to be so extreme, frowned for a while, and then said: "If you really... go, then even if I change later, you don't know. Qingzhi, you can only monitor me if you are alive." , to ask me to make up for what I owe you, don't you understand?"

Fang Nan laughed: "You're dead, so what does it matter to me that you don't change?"

Chu Xiting was taken aback.

Fang Nan said, "As long as I don't know, that's enough."

Chu Xiting finally slowly understood and saw the scars on Fang Nan's heart.His spirit is extremely unstable, and sometimes he looks calm and gentle, but in fact his heart is covered with bloody scars.

Chu Xiting sometimes couldn't figure out whether Fang Nan's pessimism was sincere or just out of hatred for him, so he deliberately said this to hurt him and make him sad.

But no matter what it was, Chu Xiting began to understand one thing.

Fang Nan didn't want to have an operation because he wanted to take revenge on Chu Xiting with his own death.

It was as if Chu Xiting made him sick many years ago, maybe Fang Nan didn't have a strong desire to die at first.He's just pessimistic, but he doesn't want to die.

But he knew that if he died of illness, it would cause Chu Xiting pain and deprive the other party of the last chance to make up and recover, Fang Nan did not hesitate to take revenge on Chu Xiting in this way.

The more peaceful he is, the closer he is to Chu Xiting, the more determined he is in his heart.Chu Xiting has vaguely realized this, but apart from remorse and pain, he is helpless.

Fang Nan did not hide his feelings—his love was like streams and oceans, almost unswerving, even if he was hurt by Chu Xiting like that, that kind of feeling did not exist, but it was all transformed into A deep hatred.

For the rest of his life, whether it was love or hate, he had identified Chu Xiting alone.Fang Qingzhi is a lover who is too dedicated and affectionate, so when his feelings are trampled, hurt, or despised, his feelings don't dissipate because of this, but turn into hatred that hurts others and himself.

Being in love with him is a very happy thing, because he never abandons and never betrays.It is also a happy thing to be hated by him, because even if it is hatred, it is difficult for someone to hate so deeply, so sincerely, and so desperately.

After someone is hurt, even if there are many scars, they can still shrink in the corner, slowly lick the wound, let time heal it, and then go to find another relationship.This kind of love is not paranoid, not stupid, it is a smart and self-love approach, but it is a feeling that Fang Nan cannot learn.

He loves Chu Xiting, he hates Chu Xiting.There is only one person in this lifetime.

He can force himself to hate and give up, but he will not fall in love with others again.He can be gentle or crazy, if all this is just for the most important person in his heart.But when love turns into hatred, he will become calm and cruel... Because for Fang Nan, he has already experienced the cruelest hell, and he has nothing to fear and nothing to lose.

Chu Xiting's deepest reason for hurting Fang Nan has never been all his own actions - although it is cruel, it is actually nothing to those who don't care.

The reason he really hurt Fang Nan the deepest was because of Fang Nan's deep feelings for him.

Only the knife stabbed by someone you love deeply is the cruelest, deadliest, and most defenseless.

When Gallo came that day, Fang Nan was sitting on the hospital bed playing the piano.He put the roll piano on a small wooden table made for beds, and with a smile on his face, he played a tune Gallo had never heard before.

He looked quite happy.

Gallo felt that something had changed in Fang Nan.

He said to Fang Nan: "Some procedures require authorization, Nolan, please write me a power of attorney."

Fang Nan was particularly sensitive to the power of attorney. Hearing Jia Luo speak, he suddenly raised his head, smiled at Jia Luo, and said, "Chu Xiting asked you to come?"

Gallo didn't change his face, and said, "What does it have to do with him? The doctor said it."

Fang Nan said: "No. For documents to be signed, let the doctor come to me to sign."

After hearing this, Gallo was somewhat angry. He stood up and asked, "You don't actually want to have an operation at all, do you? It's either because you're afraid that the operation will fail, or you don't want to have an operation at all, and you don't want to live at all!"

Fang Nan hesitated to speak, but finally remained silent.

Jia Luo looked at him for a while, then suddenly rushed up, pressed Fang Nan against the bed rail, and began to kiss him forcefully.

Fang Nan struggled desperately but couldn't break free, her face turned blue uncontrollably, while blocking Gallo with her palm, she said, "Gallo, don't make me angry!"

Gallo said, "You're going to die anyway, so what does it matter if you do it with me once?"

Fang Nan replied: "Whether I want to live has anything to do with whether I want to sleep with you?"

The two stared at each other for a while, but Gallo suddenly threw himself on Fang Nan, put his head on Fang Nan's chest and abdomen, grabbed Fang Nan's shirt with his fingers, and said, "Nolan...don't die."

Fang Nan didn't speak for a long time.

After Chu Xiting left the company, he sat in the car in a daze for a while before driving to a restaurant.

He ordered a few takeaways, but after a while, the proprietress of the restaurant came out from the back kitchen and said, "Mr. Chu, I've said it many times, we don't want to cook for you."

As a result, Chu Xiting said: "Sister-in-law Wang, Qingzhi is back. He is in the hospital now."

The proprietress was stunned for a moment, and then said with a downcast: "Mr. Chu! The young master has passed away for six years, and I don't want to hear your nonsense."

"It's true, Qingzhi didn't die back then, Dong Fang took him abroad for an operation. He came back now and changed his name to Fang Nan. He is not in a good condition now, so I just want to ask you to cook a few dishes... Just a few dishes, I will take them to the hospital for dinner later."

Sister-in-law Wang looked at him for a while, and felt that he didn't seem to be lying, so she asked, "Master, is he okay now? Is he cured?"

Chu Xiting said: "It's not very good. I'm preparing for an operation. I'll trouble Mrs. Wang to make two lighter dishes that taste like him."

"Wait a minute." Said Mrs. Wang, and went back to the back kitchen.

After a while, she took out a multi-layer insulated lunch box specially used for food delivery in restaurants, and said, "They are all dishes that the young master liked before, and the taste is relatively light. For the time being, I can only cook two simple dishes. It's all heavy oil and salt, come back tomorrow, I'll make another pot for the young master, and make two more delicate dishes."

Chu Xiting said, "Thank you."

Mrs. Wang shook her head and said, "I'm not doing it for you either."

Then Chu Xiting brought the vegetables to the hospital, Fang Nan took two bites of the vegetables, and felt nostalgic, and asked, "Are Brother Song and Sister-in-law Wang okay?"

Chu Xiting said: "After Fang Dong took you abroad, Brother Song and Sister-in-law Wang resigned and went out to open a restaurant by themselves. The business has been booming all these years, so it should be considered pretty good."

Fang Nan smiled and said, "That's good."

He took a sip of the soup, but squinted his eyes happily, showing an intoxicated expression.

Chu Xiting asked: "Can't you eat such an authentic taste abroad?"

Fang Nan let out a "hmm", took a few more mouthfuls of food, and then said, "When I was in SN, my mother was always cooking. My mother is really not very good at cooking, but she is still better than a part-time worker."

Chu Xiting looked at Fang Nan in astonishment, completely unable to imagine that the pampered and shrewd Mrs. Fang would wash her hands and make soup herself.In other words, seeing that Fang Nan was spending money lavishly when he came back, he thought that their financial situation must be passable.

What he didn't know was that when the Fang family went abroad, the financial situation was really good, but later they spent a lot of money on Fang Nan's medical treatment, and then they became a little short on money.Fang Nan spends money lavishly, but what he spends is his own copyright income. Before that, although the financial situation of the Fang family has improved, it is still not as good as before. It is impossible to behave like a wealthy family in China. Housekeeper, chef , a gardener, a maid, and also employs a dedicated family doctor and several tutors.

But Fang Nan had no intention of explaining this to him.

He chewed and ate the dinner brought by Chu Xiting slowly.Considering his appetite, Mrs. Wang didn't prepare too much rice, but there were four dishes and one soup, and Fang Nan ate them all.It was only when Chu Xiting realized this that something was wrong, so he quickly gave him Xiaoshi tablets, and Fang Nan obediently ate it too.

Then Chu Xiting said to Fang Nan: "Qingzhi, can I take you to Longmen Port tomorrow?"

Longmen Port is a block on the southeast coast of City A, and it is also the legendary underground casino area.

Back then, Fang Qingzhi was very interested in this kind of existence that only appeared in movies and TV, and always wanted to see it, but Fang Songcheng was very worried about this kind of smoky place, and did not allow Fang Qingzhi to play.

Once, when Fang Qingzhi was talking about a gambling movie with Chu Xiting, he asked Chu Xiting if he had ever been to Longmen Port or seen a casino.In fact, Chu Xiting had never been to the casino, but at least he had visited Longmen Port, so he told Fang Qingzhi about the snacks, amusement facilities and chartered yachts in Longmen Port.

He once promised Fang Qingzhi that when he grew up, he would take him to watch the legendary casino.

Later, Fang Nan grew up, but Chu Xiting could no longer take him anywhere.

Fang Nan looked at him for a long time and replied, "Okay."

The next day, Chu Xiting really drove Fang Nan to Longmen Port.

He argued with the doctor a lot before convincing the other party to let him take Fang Nan away.

Chu Xiting took Fang Nan to Longmen Port, and they went to many places, the port, the theater and some other places.Fang Nan saw a set of beautifully made shadow puppets at the entrance of the theater, and held them up in front of Chu Xiting like a child. Chu Xiting was almost suffocated by the deliberate expression of carefreeness.

They were watching the stars by the sea, and then they heard music from a distance. There was a song playing on a yacht, but they didn't know why "Forgive" was suddenly played.

...You miss a portrait of love/like a lingering fragrance/the moonlight on the night she left/how beautiful and desolate as death...Loving someone/always forgiving/injured again and again/forgotten again and again ...Ah she has no way to back down / She has been powerless to resist ... the arrogance that moves mountains / also ends in death / it never forgives / it never forgives ...

Chu Xiting had heard this song before, and knew that it was composed by Fang Nan.

But at this time, on this brightly lit coast, hearing this singing sound coming from a distant place, for some reason, it only felt thrilling.

He looked at Fang Nan on the side.Under the light, he looked up at the sky, his eyebrows were as beautiful as carefully drawn.His demeanor was pure and innocent, staring at Xinghe earnestly, as if he didn't hear the singing from far away.

It seems that it will suddenly float away like fireworks before dawn.

A few days after returning to the hospital, Fang Nan fell ill again.

Even the doctor didn't know why he got sick, because on the surface, at least Fang Nan had always been relatively calm, talking and laughing with everyone with gentle expressions, and there was no time when he was very excited.

The doctor can only judge that his heart has a disease again.

However, even in this situation, Fang Nan still disagreed with the operation.Many people didn't understand it very much, only Chu Xiting knew why.

So on this day, while no one was bothering him, he said to Fang Nan: "Qingzhi, tell me, what do you have to do before you are willing to undergo surgery? Tell me, no matter what you want me to do, I am willing, as long as You say it."

Fang Nan smiled and said, "Brother Xiting, don't say that. It's fine now, and I'm very satisfied."

"Fart!" Chu Xiting couldn't help it for the first time, and exploded in front of Fang Nan, "Stop pretending! Fang Qingzhi! We all know you are not happy at all! I know you hate me, but you Don't make fun of your own life!? I'm fucking...I'm fucking..."

He repeated this sentence several times, but in the end he couldn't say the second half of the sentence. He just said with some despair: "Fang Qingzhi... that's not how revenge is done."

Fang Nan laughed and said softly, "But I got revenge on you."

Hearing what Fang Nan said, Chu Xiting calmed down a bit—it's a good thing to stop pretending and be willing to tell the truth.

He said: "Yes, you took revenge on me. But what you used to take revenge on me was your own life——Qingzhi, do you think this is meaningful? Do you have to be so disrespectful to yourself?"

Fang Nan said, "I don't care."

Chu Xiting listened, but was silent for a long time, and then Fang Nan said: "Does it mean that as long as I prove that I will love you for the rest of my life, Qingzhi, you will not hate me anymore, and then use your own life to take revenge on me? "

Fang Nan was silent for a while, and then said: "Chu Xiting, there is nothing in this world that can prove that someone can love someone for a lifetime."

Chu Xiting smiled lightly, and said, "There will always be a way. I will prove it to you."

After about a week or so, Chu Xiting did not appear in front of Fang Nan frequently.Fang Nan didn't care too much, and finished the song for Wen Rongxi's crew when she was still in good spirits.

Wen Rongxi has been busy with filming recently, so it took a while to find out about Fang Nan's hospitalization, but he didn't know Fang Nan's specific situation, so he only told Fang Nan to take good care of his illness and not get angry.

Fang Nan also responded one by one.

So until the weekend, Chu Xiting was very busy, and Fang Nan didn't ask.But that night, Fang Nan was confused in his sleep, but he seemed to vaguely see Chu Xiting.He looked at Fang Nan by his hospital bed for a long time, then lowered his head and kissed the young man.

From the forehead, to the eyes, to the tip of the nose and cheeks, to the corners of the mouth.

The delicate kisses swept over every inch of Fang Nan's face, gentle and careful.

Fang Nan felt that he was dreaming, because he felt that Chu Xiting was crying - he had never seen Chu Xiting cry, no matter it was six years ago or six years later.

After waking up, Fang Nan knew that it was indeed an illusion.

This morning Chu Xiting brought Fang Nan breakfast, with a smile on his face as usual, and there was no sign of crying at all.He also smiled and accompanied Fang Nan to finish breakfast, and told Fang Nan a few anecdotes on the way.

Then it was almost time for him to go to work.

But this day was obviously different from before, because before leaving, Chu Xiting suddenly bent down and hugged Fang Nan, saying, "Qingzhi, I love you."

Then he let go of Fang Nan before he could struggle.

An hour after this breakfast, Fang Nan received a call.

Chu Xiting committed suicide by jumping off the [-]th floor of Nanjixing, and a week before that, he counted all his shares and real estate, and wrote a will under the notarization of the lawyer, leaving all the property to Fang Qingzhi.

Fang Nan received the last text message from Chu Xiting, only five words.

- I love you forever.

The author has something to say: How many people want to kill Chu Xiting?

The next chapter is a short, grand finale.I wrote HE, if everyone really wants BE, I can rewrite the ending.

By the way, Chu Xiting's biggest crime was not "betrayal", but paranoia and anger.Anger is uncontrollable and uncontrollable.Chu Xiting said that he loves Fang Qingzhi, it is true, and the words he signed many years ago, and what he said to Fang Qingzhi, originated from a moment of anger... He really never thought about Fang Qingzhi's love. Qing died, but was dazzled by anger.In the eyes of Chu Xiting at that time, signing a waiver letter was nothing at all, it was just a matter of writing, and it would not really kill Fang Qingzhi, it just made him have to wait for the next donation. ——He did intend to vent his anger on Fang Qingzhi at the time... But it was like a spoiled child in the rebellious period yelling "Go to hell" at his parents who were on the verge of bankruptcy because their wishes were not fulfilled.

——She didn't take what she yelled seriously, but it might be the last straw that broke the camel's back.

Harmful words may also cause irreversible consequences.

In fact, what Chu Xiting did at the beginning and what Fang Qingzhi said were elements of being provoked and coerced by words.It has nothing to do with Cao Mai, but it has something to do with people who were closer to Cao Min who also witnessed Cao Min's death that night.But it doesn't matter anymore, no matter what the reason is, the person who hurt Fang Nan was Chu Xiting.For Fang Nan, Chu Xiting is the only person he loves.

Some people say that Fang Nan is cheap, but I think about it myself, and I won't refute it.It can only be said that in my concept, infatuation has been considered cheap since ancient times.Fang Nan is the kind of person who can only love one person in his life, and his personality is like this.He would hate Chu Xiting, but he couldn't fall in love with others.It's good that someone can love sensibly, but Fang Nan is not the kind of person who can love sensibly... He is the kind of person who can die for his lover. He looks weak, but he is actually stubborn as hell.He is very emotional, and by nature he does not value interests but feelings, life and ideals... A naive idealist, no matter how heavy the reality is, he cannot succumb.

The non-blackened Fang Nan can block the knife for his lover. On the contrary, if he was not born in the era of the rule of law, the blackened Fang Nan can also put a knife on his lover.If I hadn't been merciful, he would have been a sickly person.