all i want is a man

If you need quiet, then I am willing to walk away silently.as long as you need.

Summer vacation is approaching day by day, and the black horror before dawn is naturally the final exam.For Xia Xuechen, the most difficult thing is college sports, and for Xiao Chuan, it is college English.Now, these have become small cases, with Lei Feng and Wang Mu's secret support, the two of them will be blessed by God.The rest can only look at their own good fortune.Although Xia Xuechen was depressed and took a lot of leave, he was always very attentive, and the substitute teacher had a good impression of him.Although Xiao Chuan did not have a good habit of studying seriously, but thinking of this summer vacation, he forced himself to memorize all kinds of professional terms.

The ordeal lasted for two weeks and it was over.

"Xiaochen, I want to go for a walk with you." After editing it a dozen times in a row, only these words were posted in the end.

"Waiting for you at the gate." Just when Xiao Chuan thought he would go downhill again and was about to get up to practice roller skating, his cell phone rang.

"Xiaochen, you're finally willing to see me!" Pinching his own face and patting it again, after proving that it wasn't a dream, he fled like flying away under the surprised and puzzled expressions of his roommates.

The jubilation of the end of the final exam filled every corner of the campus, and every trash can was filled with thick A4 papers that printed the key points of the exam. They were once so important and noble, but now they have become worthless. , except for the uncles and aunts who collect waste paper, no one wants to take a second look.

Xiao Chuan rushed to the school gate, Xia Xuechen arrived early.

"Fool, why don't you stand under the shade of the tree? Are you sunburned?" Xiao Chuan panted heavily, and hurriedly pulled Xia Xuechen down under the shade of the tree.Under the scorching sun, Xia Xuechen is as elegant and comfortable as a winter morning.Ice cream-colored floral T-shirts, mint green casual trousers, and darker-colored British-style casual shoes. The simple and elegant colors, exquisite and cool dress, the infinite refreshing feeling is ready to come out.

Xiaochen, you are still so pure.Xiao Chuan muttered in his heart.

"I'm afraid you won't see it." With a light pink POLO shirt, light blue slim-fit cropped pants, and white canvas shoes, Xiao Chuan easily created a clean and refreshing princely demeanor.Bodhisattva, thank you.Although I am not around, this man is still so energetic.I was relieved to see him well.Xia Xuechen looked at Xiao Chuan carefully, praying secretly in his heart.

A small restaurant near Y University.

"When will you go home?" Xia Xuechen asked Xiao Chuan nonchalantly while sucking light green green apple juice with a transparent straw.

"Not coming back for now." Xiao Chuan gnawed off two ice cubes.

"What are you busy with?" biting the straw.

"Busy to play! Roller skating. If you are interested, come and play with me." The fifth ice fell into my stomach.

"Well. If you have time, eat less ice." The hand holding the straw subconsciously trembled.

"Wait for you." The standard princely non-pollution smile.

Xiao Chuan saw and remembered Xia Xuechen's every move.Xiaochen, you always care about me, don't you?You know, I often forget to eat when I play golf, and my stomach has always been bad.Xiaochen, wait for me, I will definitely bring you out of the nightmare of losing Lin Yuan and your brother.

Another long holiday.Students from all corners of the country returned home one after another.Standing in front of the dormitory window, Xia Xuechen watched the people under the bus stop sign come and go. From early morning to evening, the stop sign was always crowded.On September [-], [-], he came to Y University, and now it is July [-], [-]. In less than a year, he has lost his home.

Occasionally, a woman who is no longer young, hobbles through the streets, with long gray and dirty hair and torn and old clothes, walking forward with all her strength, carrying two travel bags on her back, which are all her belongings.Xia Xuechen thought, when she gets old, will she be in the same situation?

Saying goodbye to the last person to go home in the dormitory, Xia Xuechen returned to the dormitory, turned off the lights, and made the bed.Starting tomorrow, he will be a full-time employee of Minsheng Shopping Plaza.When Xia Xue was around, Xia Xuechen only needed to do some part-time jobs.Now, Xia Xue is gone, the days are still long, and life has to go on. Although Xia Xue's employer has paid the compensation and the old house has been sold for a little money, no one knows what the future will hold.He can only carry the burden of fate on his own shoulders.

When you are helpless, you will realize how strong you really are.Xiao Chuan was not idle either.

He is with other players participating in the "×× Cup" roller skating competition all day long, eating together, training together, and taking a bath together.Wang Mu is their coach.

When the first ray of sunshine shines on the earth in the morning, Xia Xuechen gets up to wash, eat breakfast, catch the bus, sign in, and do things.At this time of day, Xiao Chuan also started training.Under the leadership of Wang Mu, the eight contestants ran, warmed up, practiced movements, and listened to theoretical knowledge, which was full and happy.

Whether it's for Xia Xuechen or Xiao Chuan, the summer vacation of [-] has a special feeling in my heart.

Experience a different experience from others, and feel the joy of staying with your sweetheart.Xia Xuechen didn't tell Xiao Chuan that she had always loved him.Xiao Chuan did not tell his real purpose of roller skating.

Take the stairs he walked, go to the restaurant he went to.Familiar roads, familiar people, silently talking about the relationship with him.His shadow, his breath, have become traceable.The person I love has been here, lived here, and carefully captured these ambiguous atmospheres, and I felt very cherished in my heart.

When the lights came on, the normally noisy campus became extremely quiet.Except for the window of 9432, which is bright, the other windows are all black.Moving to the window, the window not far away was lit.What is he doing?playing games?reading?Wash?Hold hands together and put them on your chest: Bodhisattva, please bless Xiao Chuan for safety and happiness.

In the past, Xia Xuechen didn't believe in fate.He believed in matter and consciousness, in gravitation, in the Pythagorean theorem, in the subjunctive mood, and in photosynthesis.Now, he began to speculate about luck anxiously, praying to the god of fate devoutly, begging him, no matter how he played with himself, please don't hurt the one he loves.

Lin Yuan's departure and Xia Xue's departure were sudden and cruel.Two people who are so important in their own lives, just go there.Xia Xuechen couldn't hear them say a last word to her, even if it was a word, even if it was a curse, she would admit it even if it was a curse.

Now, prayer is his daily compulsory subject.In the morning, he prayed for Lin Yuan and Xia Xuequan to rest in peace; in the evening, he prayed for Xiao Chuan's safety and happiness.Before, he felt that the prayers of Christians were ignorant and blunt, but now, he felt that it was a sacred and bright thing.

Taking out his diary, he quietly wrote:

Sunny Wednesday, July [-], [-]

Xiao Chuan, I wanted to give you my whole life, but I didn't have the courage. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see my brother's red eyes

Eyes, he didn't say a word, didn't say a word, I would rather he scolded me and beat me.

Separation is painful, and it is now. I thought, leaving you, my conscience would be a little more stable.At least, I am sorry for my brother, I am sorry for Lin Yuan.I failed my brother's expectations and failed Lin Yuan's love.However, the reality is far from that, every day apart from you is suffering.Every night, what awaits me is a pain that cannot be overcome or escaped.

Xiao Chuan, you are different from anyone else in this world, it would be cruel to forget you.I would rather you forget me, because there is nothing I can do to forget you.

We said, to be together forever, happy forever, happy forever.Until now, I can't believe that we have parted ways and lived very different lives.

Remember that Sichuan restaurant you used to take me to?In the afternoon, I went there for dinner, and the boss said: "There is a young man in your Y college who likes our braised eggplant rice bowl the most. He has short hair and small eyes." I guessed it was you.However, I was afraid of making a mistake, so I rejoiced for nothing, so I said to the boss: "He likes to add a little more sugar, and he wants to eat an extra serving of rice every time." The boss actually remembered me: "That's it! That's it! Young man , aren't you the one who used to come with him? No wonder you look familiar."

On the day I told you to separate, I was so afraid that you would catch up with me from behind, hug me, and tell me not to go, I was so scared.I'm afraid I can't refuse you at all.I'm afraid to look you in the eye, afraid to think of you, afraid to hear anything from you, even good ones.You are the poison that lives in my body, as long as I feel your presence, I will be afraid for a long time, for a long time.

Xiao Chuan, how could I forget you?You have taken root in my life.Your shadow exists in every corner, and every detail of life reminds me of you.You said that you should not choose clothes with similar colors, because they are ugly; you said that you should not eat bananas when you have a cold, because it will make the disease worse; you said that it is best not to eat grapes, because there are many pesticides; You and I forgot to take soap; you said my English letters are the most beautiful, because you always ask me to do homework for you; you said my lips are soft, because you always want to bite me.

When we are all old, will you still remember me, will you still remember those pasts?Will you still think of the places we have walked together?If there is such a day, I will still kiss you like before, no matter how old you are, no matter how ugly you are.

That's all for now, tomorrow is another day.Tomorrow morning, I can see you again.Good night.

Put away the pen and turn off the lights.The days just flowed by without interfering with each other day by day, Xia Xuechen and Xiao Chuan's thoughts also increased day by day, and grew like crazy.

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