without me

How to accept the embrace of nothingness with expectation, this thing alone is unacceptable.But also in response to that sentence——

"Xu'er will understand later."

"No, it's best that Xu'er never understands for the rest of his life."

I asked the person lying next to me without any ups and downs, "What about you? The sadness that you don't want to believe."

There is no color in the silent woods, it seems that only boring black and white can be seen, only the sound breaks the ground in it, and breeds an invisible color under the ground, which grows quietly.

"I've never experienced it before," Wen Liu said. "It's not something to be regretted. Most of the time, I become a different person after experiencing it."

"Since it's not confirmed whether it's an improvement, Liu'er doesn't want to become another person for the time being, maybe she isn't Liu'er anymore."

Maybe, right, maybe not.

She calmly and patiently answered my unfounded thoughts, but did not try to deny them, allowing my confused mind to relax for a moment.

"..."

"Like a veil."

"Yes."

Inexplicable remarks were also echoed, and strange thoughts followed one after another. It was really too late to "think twice". Only some of them were reluctantly considered, and the rest were not thought about.

"In this way, people who like to bask in the moon, don't they spread a layer of tulle on themselves, and the moon is easily replaced?"

Wen Liu let out a laugh, and raised the back of his hand to cover it.

"How can there be such a reason?"

"Isn't that so?"

It sounded a little pessimistic at first, but without warning, I began to recognize death, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt it was true.

The things praised by the world become cheap in a few sentences. Is there anything worthwhile?

Wen Liu turned sideways towards me, and said persuasively: "Miss Jiang, think about it, if you are far away at this moment... maybe in northern Xinjiang, and I shut myself in the room, with a layer of snow-white light covering my eyes. yarn."

"Liu'er holds the softness and beautiful scenery, but a small piece of gauze can't cover Miss Jiang who is far away in the world, and can't cover anyone who leaves me."

"It just doesn't make any sense to me."

I listened quietly to her answer. Beside the sealed door, there was a slight gap in the window, and a pair of eyes looked outside curiously.

Looking at each other, Wen Liu said seriously: "Liu'er doesn't need tulle, Liu'er needs something that is still bright and clear even after traveling thousands of miles. It is 'a thousand miles of beautiful beauty'."

Slowly and imperceptibly, I gradually accepted this statement in the depths of my consciousness, thinking of all the remarks just now, and thinking of the "cautious speech" taught at home, I couldn't help sighing.

"I'm a little naive."

There was no reproach or impatience on the other person's face, and I deepened this self-mockery and silently smiled sadly.

Suddenly, there was movement in my ear.

Wen Liu was very curious, and asked energetically: "Miss Jiang, are there really rabbits on the moon?"

"Why did you ask so?"

Myths and legends should be dubious, especially the attitude of adults.

Are you echoing the childishness you just said?When I was on the verge of speaking, I hurriedly turned a corner.

"have it……?"

"Is there Heng'e too?"

I nodded seriously, pretending that I didn't even believe it.

Speaking of which, only when he himself started to play tricks, would he be so foolish.

She also stared at the colors left in the blackness of the sky as I did at the beginning, but now she is not like tulle, she always thinks of the white cloth in front of the shadow puppet show, and the light and shadows are as close as if far behind.

"What a clean place it should be, so that it can be described as lonely and thought-provoking."

The heat in the morning let out some air at night, and the wind blows just as you like. It is Heng'e who likes Wen Liu's praise, and brings the breath to the world.

I was thinking wildly, and I went round and round to carve out words like a question.Wen Liu asked curiously: "Is this not good? There are many sisters in the attic who like verbal guests."

"why?"

Her eyes rolled accordingly, and she came up with the answer after thinking for a moment, "Probably, it's better than swearing at each other, but thinking that the woman in front of me will be convinced."

"Don't you think it's long-winded," I laughed at myself, "...'It's better to be a centurion than a scholar'."

Perhaps it was the profound influence at the beginning, so that I still uphold this idea from beginning to end.But if I am not treated as the eldest son, in Jiang's residence, it may be difficult to come across books, and it is rare for my teacher to teach me.

You can run away like Wenru did at the beginning... Heh, I am not the real son, and the master will not send anyone to look for him.In addition, I was really clumsy at that age, so no matter how I thought about it, it would end in failure.

I couldn't help sighing heavily, and then I felt something covering my eyes that were struggling to close, and the eyelids were warm from the palms, stained with the smell of grass leaves and a subtle coolness.

The other party changed from lying down to lying down. He didn't say a word at first, but he vaguely heard a movement coming through his eyes.

"Thank you."

The voice was so small that it was almost inaudible, but fortunately there were only two characters, which were easy to identify.

I have never led people around in the middle of the night like this. Although I don't want to admit it, I have spent some time paying attention.Wen Liu always acted like he didn't know much, and seemed to know everything when he spoke, and didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

Maybe, she is still smiling now, looking at me, or the moon.

What a clean place it must be...

The other person's face slowly emerged in the darkness, she didn't move her palm, and I easily made that soft and gentle face.

"Liu'er?"

When the answer sounded in my ears, I took a deep breath before I could speak, as if I didn't know what to say again.The other party was still quietly waiting for the next sentence, and I had the illusion that the face kept a curious expression, and the slightly wide-open eyes were staring at the motionless.

It is rare to meet someone who listens patiently, as if there is no need to worry about that person leaving suddenly.

"...you are clean."

I no longer realize what I'm talking about, probably the clothes on my body are causing trouble, the desire to pour out is far more than usual, and I don't know whether it is a blessing or a curse waiting outside the window.

She raised her palm slightly, and I lightly held it and placed it by my side, only to realize that the other person wanted to look into my eyes.

Just as curious as imagined, with slightly widened eyes.

I spoke earnestly, and Wen Liu listened earnestly, feeling absurd in my heart, but I also knew that if I didn't speak now, I might lose my chance.

"You are so clean that it is unimaginable that you are a girl living in Zhangtai. Will you be dyed with other, disgusting colors?"

Wen Liu tilted his head to his shoulder, "Liu'er won't, and doesn't want to."

"Okay..." I let go of the other person's hand, and imitated her way and stretched out my finger, "Promise me, we have an appointment."

Pulling the hook agreement, she handed over her finger without any hesitation, the two intertwined, and whispered that it would not change for 100 years.

I stared at the figure of the other party and murmured.

"Perhaps, the place to go is not here..."

"What are you thinking?"

Wen Liu was on the side, unable to hear the whisper clearly.I regained most of my sanity, and now I feel that it is useless, "Guess what?"

"Hmm..." The other party thought for a while, then shrugged his shoulders, "I can't guess."

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking, dig a clean spot on the moon and let you stand on it... Will you be able to stay clean forever?"

She was startled, then laughed and said, "What kind of way is this?"

"You're childish," I laughed at myself with an inexplicable sense of pride, "You must be Heng'e who came down to earth, and I won't see you this time."

Before the other party could respond, I suddenly remembered something, and I retorted, "No, you can't be Heng'e."

A question of why hasn't been asked yet.

I shook my head and sighed again.

"Heng'e and Yi are at odds."

"Yes, Yi has Concubine Luo, Heng'e..."

Although it is common sense for a man to have three wives and four concubines, Wen Liusi's sense of trance was even stronger, and his tone was calm and unwavering, "Liu'er... don't like it, don't be Chang'e."

As I spoke, my thoughts melted together, and I pretended to be extremely distressed and said: "Then how can I be on the moon? It can't be Wu Gang..."

The people beside me let out a few small smiles, and their mood suddenly improved, "How good is the rabbit? If I go to the moon, Miss Jiang will accompany me to be a rabbit, so I won't be lonely anymore."

"Making cakes to make cakes," I thought for a while, "it seems pretty good too?"

Under the shade of the tree, the buds welcomed the spring, and they stretched out their hands secretly.

It took half the night to empathize with why literati always love to drink alone on the moon, and then sing a few songs, from yearning to nostalgia.

The one that hung on the sky that day seemed to have grown a thousand times, and I could always think of something when I looked at it.

It's no wonder that even I couldn't help being hypocritical when I said that the girls' school book Ai and the lover were admiring the moon in the pavilion and talking about poetry and songs.

It was a day of fatigue accumulated in the night, urging it to go back.

I stood up, turned around and asked casually: "Do you like it?" Going shopping in a fair manner, admiring the moon.

"I like it, this is really great!"

Wen Liu also met her gaze, "Where's Miss Jiang? Do you like it?"

The angle is just right, and the pupils of the eyes are eye-catchingly bright.

I froze for a moment.

"Yes, I like it."

The corners of his lips curled up triumphantly, he patted his clothes and took my hand to stand up.I supported the opponent's forearm, "Be careful..." My strength sank, and she stood upright steadily with my hand, but she felt a little numb after sitting for a long time.

Faced with Wei Wei's uncontrollable smile, Wen Liu's movements were a little close, and I didn't react, but she stopped moving first.

"what happened?"

"It's nothing..." Wen Liu shook her head, "Do you still feel uncomfortable wearing a skirt?"

I nodded and smiled emotionally, "I'm fine, please worry about it."

"That's good."

She was silent for a moment, then opened her mouth again, "...Miss Jiang."

"Well." I replied.

"Miss Jiang...?"

"Ah."

"Miss Jiang."

I still responded, as tirelessly as the other party did before.

Wen Liu closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before speaking again.

"...Jiang Xu."

As soon as the voice fell, I stopped, aware of the other person's meaning, and didn't answer. The smiling face was still there, but it became more meaningful.

Seeing my reaction, Wen Liu's eyes flickered immediately, calming down his mood.

"Miss Jiang..." she said seriously, "I want to know you."

During the conversation, the words of Fourth Aunt suddenly appeared in my mind——

I hope you will never understand in your life.

I looked at the person in front of me, and deeply hoped that she would never understand this feeling and stay in the cleanest place safely.

I suddenly said: "You told me a secret in the woods."

The other party's expression was reminiscing, and most of them suddenly realized in surprise, looking up at me with a calm expression, not worried.

"Now, I'll trade you a secret, okay?"

She didn't speak, and I continued calmly.

"There was a person who was very kind to me, and she told me that my mother had two sons—a son and a daughter."

"The girl is the elder sister, and the boy is the younger brother. The baby died unexpectedly after being born, and the mother was heartbroken and regretted that she became a lunatic, and mistakenly took the living daughter as her son."

I spoke a little dry mouth and calmed down.

"She said that the father named the two children, the son named 'Xu' and the daughter named...'Xue'."

The wind came from the depths of the woods, lifted the dress and fluttered like willow branches in spring, and the long hair tied on the left shoulder was lifted and blown in the same direction.

Wen Liu wanted to say something, but I opened my mouth first while pursing my lips in thought.

"My surname is Jiang, the eldest daughter, Jiang Xue." I waited for the other party calmly.

"What's the girl's name?"

She chewed these two words repeatedly, unable to hide the joy in her eyes.

"...Wen Liu," then they looked at each other and smiled, but Wen Liu looked forward a little more, "It's an honor to meet you."

Helped him climb up the fence, but no one noticed when he returned to the Hongxing Tower, probably the madam was really dizzy with her busy work, Wen Liu's actions today can be said to be smooth sailing.

He changed back into his own clothes, and when he went back, he was even more exaggerated than in the past, the sky was about to dawn, and the rooster had not yet crowed.

I'm not afraid of being discovered by the boy, that's okay, at most, I will report it to the master, call him a fool, or get beaten, I will not be convinced.

It must be late when I wake up naturally after sleeping. Unexpectedly, it was not the servant girl who woke me up worryingly, but a familiar voice crying loudly, which made me wake up suddenly.

Not to mention furious, he quickened his pace and ran towards the courtyard.I spent some time avoiding the flowers and plants that were already dying, and I squinted my eyes slightly against the sun.

"No, no, no, no!" Zhuiyan looked at his father who was behaving abnormally in front of him, and finally understood the reason.She waved away the maid's dissuading hands, seeming to cry, "I won't go, why should I marry a stranger I've never met? I won't go!"

I froze in place, and when I came back to my senses, I was surprised and sarcastic—the master couldn't hold back anymore.

"Chase……"

"Chasing swallows!"

Before the master could speak, I pushed aside the mopping boy who was not paying attention to block the way, and the mop fell to the ground unsteadily.The man just staggered, not daring to show any resentment in his eyes.

But now he couldn't control so much, he just waved at Jiang Ci who was next to him, but he didn't pay attention here.When I got closer, I saw a face that seemed to be falling apart—this kid was so shocked that he couldn't speak, his teeth were chattering, and he couldn't hold back a word.

My face darkened, and I shouted in a low voice, "Jiang Ci!"

"Sister..." Jiang Ci was like waking up from a dream, swallowing half of the words, "Brother!"

Zhuiyan moved her ears, turned her head and rushed over to pull me in front of the master.Although I originally wanted to ask Jiang Ci how far the situation had developed, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and let her stand behind me with a more confident look.

"father."

I frowned deeply, pinching out the word Daochuan in the middle of my forehead.The little girl next to her saw it and didn't dare to go forward, she continued to stretch out her hand and either retracted it or retracted it, but became apprehensive.Imagining that this expression is generally more cold-eyed than usual, my mother might be a little proud of it.

Jiang Ci also wanted to come over to support him—perhaps because he felt that confrontation and momentum were needed at this time.However, I pushed back and refused, on the surface I needed to appease Zhuiyan not to be flustered, and now I looked around, "Father, please don't be so hasty, Zhuiyan is innocent... Yiqiong, Yiqiong!"

Jiang Yiqiong, who was wandering around, didn't pay any attention to the gathering of servants here. His facial expression, which became more and more similar to Mrs. Chen's, attracted his attention instantly, and he trotted over with his sleeves rolled up.

"Brother..." She turned her head and saw that she was chasing Yan to hide, and the master wanted to say something along with the maid, "Father? What are you doing?"

Without waiting for the master to answer, Zhui Yan was much more daring than Jiang Ci in this mansion, and immediately took the conversation, looking at Jiang Yiqiong with a look of wanting to cry.

"Sister, sister, my father wants to marry me to the Shen family..." she said, biting her lower lip to wipe away her tears, as if she wanted to wipe away the whole beautiful face, leaving behind blood and blood, "you know , I don’t know him, I don’t know him at all! Sister, I don’t want to marry him!”

From the corner of the eye, Jiang Yiqiong's complexion suddenly defecated, soft and gentle and dark.I knew it worked, so I asked the master as if to ask.

"What does the Shen family mean?"

The other party didn't seem to be affected in any way, I'm an insider, he didn't seem to find other people to talk about these things, he put his hands up and straightened his posture, "Master Shen is looking for a wife for his boy... Then the young man behaved like Jiang Ci." Running to Zhangtai every day, I like Zhangtai people no matter what.”

"This rebellious heart has also arrived. It's time to fight against my father, saying that even if I marry, I will only marry Zhangtai people."

Jiang Ci's reaction also became more intense. I don't know if it was because "I like Zhangtai people no matter what I say" or "like Jiang Ci".

In short, Zhuiyan cannot be allowed to marry such a person!

Needless to say, I took it naturally, "Master Shen, you want to marry a town first?"

When the master nodded, I blurted out: "Are you kidding me?"

On the other end, Jiang Yushan came out from behind the little servant, pointed at my head and shouted: "Didn't you keep saying that you wanted to live? Didn't you want to live again? Now you're blocking me again!"

At this time, everyone wanted to speak, but they were shaken by the shock, and they all looked afraid.

"Bullshit!"

A wave of anger rose from my stomach without warning, I didn't stop it, and just yelled out in a low voice.

He raised his hands in the air blankly, seeing that everyone was silent, he rushed over with all his teeth and claws, "Jiang Xu, you are too deceitful!"

"Who deceives others too much? What kind of fairy are you biting your tail like a worm." I opened Jiang Yushan's extended arm, "I said you were fooling around and didn't admit it, you are a brother like that?"

There was also a reckless aura in his normally lazy eyes, he rolled up his sleeves like a hooligan in the market, and the action looked like he was about to grab his collar.Seeing her younger brother's behavior, Jiang Yiqiong disapproved even more, and just wanted to dissuade him, but the other party threw his fist!

The movement of that hand was much slower than that of a real hooligan, and the strength was even more ridiculous, but it just opened and changed direction as before.The more I think about it, the more disgusting I get. It's time for me to pay me back as the eldest son.

Those who fail to make a punch stabilize their bodies and make a gesture to turn around and punch again.I just raised my hand mockingly and waved it away again, but grabbed Jiang Yushan's arm and pulled him in front of me.

"Snapped!"

A slap fell on his face, the sound was deafening, but it was clear and sweet to my ears.

Those maids and servants froze in place, some of them were so frightened that their legs trembled, and they knelt down, and a group of them also knelt down, their heads kowtowed on the ground and they dared not lift up.

Jiang Yushan covered the red and tingling handprints on his face, looked around at the expressions of the people around him, felt ashamed, his chest rose and fell and he opened his mouth to swear.

"who am I?"

The sudden question made him pause again, "I don't care who you are! You are a murderer who stands in my way!"

Another slap on the other side of the face, I grabbed him by the collar to prevent him from falling down.

"look at me."

Jiang Yushan turned his head, but was forced to straighten by a hand.

I stared into those stupid, timid eyes, "Look at me, let me tell you who I am."

"Come on, come on and pull him away!"

There was the sound of the master calling for someone in front of me, I picked up the limp Jiang Yushan and glanced around, but no one moved - including the master, he stopped abruptly after such a movement.

"Let's continue," I don't care if I will be attacked in a while, and I won't be afraid if I hit the board too much, "...I will tell you who I am."

"I'm your elder brother—your elder brother, who ranks above your elder sister. I'm the eldest son of Jiang."

As I said that, I threw him to the ground, and I squatted down to meet him at the same level.

"Since you came out of Mr. Chen's stomach, I don't seem to have cared about your disgusting virtue."

"My fault... As the eldest son, I didn't lead you to become a younger brother with both morals and virtues. It's my fault."

"So, are you ready to be disciplined now?"

Jiang Yushan was at a loss, and showed signs of recovery after a while, struggling and screaming: "Who are you, you still dare to control me? Neither father nor mother ever slapped me, so you are a woman!"

These words struck everyone present like a thunderbolt, causing the maidservants to cry out in surprise, and their heads hit the ground heavily, leaving a few bloodstains.The master yelled: "Yu Shan!" He hurriedly searched the crowd, but found that there was no familiar figure, half of the big stone in his heart dropped.

Realizing that he had said something wrong, Jiang Yushan began to smash the jars.

"Did I say something wrong? You woman still wants to control me, you really think you are the stillborn child!"

"Yu Shan!" The master's eyes were about to bleed, and he fell silent again after I spoke.

I let go of his collar, "What did you just say?"

"Woman, stillbirth!"

"No," I waved my hand calmly, "the first sentence."

Jiang Yushan pulled back his collar fiercely, "Neither father nor mother ever slapped me, so it's not your turn to be slapped all day long!"

"No, it starts with the first sentence."

He didn't expect the reaction, seeing my normal expression, he also subconsciously fell into memory.

"...Who are you? How dare you control me!"

"correct."

I smiled, looking very mocking.

"Who am I? Tell me."

"Death ghost!"

He didn't have a long memory at all. I looked at him and thought I was very patient with dementia.

Then there was another "pop"!

"who am I?"

"Crazy... a crazy woman!"

clap clap!

I shook my hand and continued to ask nonchalantly, "Who am I?"

"Crazy--"

Just as the word was uttered, Jiang Yushan looked at the master.The latter sensed that I had no intention of suing my mother, and felt that it was a "deal". He looked at this side silently, his eyes full of worry.

Father, father, he won't stop!

Seeing this, Jiang Yushan made a turn in his bowels with the remaining words in his eyes.

"...Brother?"

"Can I take care of you?"

"Yes..." he replied reluctantly.

While talking, someone heard that something happened in the yard and wanted to find out.Shocked, the servants, who had knelt inside and out several times, pushed forward and saw me educating Jiang Yushan.

Wei Lianzhi stared wide-eyed, ran to the center in a pretentious manner, helped Jiang Yushan up, pointed at me and cursed.

"Nie Zi! Do you treat your younger brother like this?"

Heh, many times I really feel that Wei Lianzhi and Chen Ju definitely have the wrong baby, otherwise, how could Mrs. Wei raise a son who is obsessed with learning like Jiang Wenru, while Mr. Chen is pregnant with an unreasonable and timid Jiang Yushan? ?

I tilted my head and asked, "Jiang Yushan, didn't you say that women don't care about you? Why are you protected by Mrs. Wei at this time?"

Wei Lianzhi gasped, exclaiming in his heart that the troubled guy turned his head and saw that the master didn't move, and rolled his eyes to know that he would not take care of it.

She waved her wide sleeves covering her face.

"You still know that you are a woman, do you agree? Ha, you thought you were dazed, and you thought you were really the young master of the Jiang family."

The servant girl moved away from her feet, away from the "land of storms", and suddenly heard the sound of "嗙嗙嗙" next to her, looked sideways, and the housekeeper Jiang An secretly kowtowed a few more times listening to the conversation.

"Since you're not the young master of Jiang's mansion, why bother with your business? The master hasn't said a word when we get you."

As soon as the words fell, I looked at them fixedly.

"It's not brother, can't you manage?"

The other party had a "nonsense" look, so I continued.

"Is it possible to recall Qiong?"

Jiang Yushan hurriedly raised his head and looked at his sister, seeing that Jiang Yiqiong was comforting Zhuiyan and had no time to pay attention to this side, he was both angry and lucky.He thought about not being rude in front of the master, so he pretended to be filial and nodded, "Of course, she is my sister."

I listened, and raised the corners of my mouth in relief.

"Sister can?"

The other party wanted to nod, thought for a moment, and nodded.

Unless this crazy woman wants to be beaten and scolded by that old lunatic and beaten by her father, otherwise it will not be as I imagined...

Before his thoughts cleared up, Jiang Yushan looked proudly in front of him and froze in place.

I touched my hair tied up high with my hands, and untied the hair tie—this action was meaningless, but I felt like I had untied a cage.

"Your eldest sister taught you that you are not good enough, what's wrong?"

This lunatic——!

This time, a stumbling little maid hurriedly ran to the master and knelt down with a "plop".

"Mrs. Ruan, Mrs. Ruan is coming this way!"

People around me were at a loss and scared, but I was very happy in my heart.

If it gets louder, the master will let go of the matter of chasing swallows first.

"Quick, Yu Shan," the master shouted at Wei Lianzhi, "Lianzhi, take him away, don't say anything else!"

Wei Lianzhi responded and pulled Jiang Yushan to leave, but the servants who were three circles away immediately got in the way.

"Things that are not enough to succeed but fail, bah!"

She kicked away the invisible people on the ground, and within two steps, a familiar voice came from behind.

"Youwei? What are you doing?"