Eat little by little

It was past ten o'clock when Yang Fengrui found his home, and he checked his phone again, but there was no news.

My aunt's house is in an apartment facing the street next to the small market. When crossing the street, I can look up and see the bright white light of the windows on the third floor, brushed by passing car lights from time to time, as if neon is flowing on it.Every time he looks like this, he will feel panic for a moment, not knowing where he is going and what that place means to him.It wasn't home, and it had nothing to do with him, but he was forced into it, like a strange creature mixed in in a puzzle, never finding his place.

The children of my aunt's family were also on vacation today. Standing on the edge of the cold stairs, Yang Fengrui felt that his legs were heavy and he couldn't take a step up.The sound-activated light on the stairs was broken, and in the darkness, only the body was cold when it touched the stainless steel handrails, and he groped to climb up until his eyes adapted to the darkness, and there were densely stacked steps leading to the place he had been avoiding.

Holding the school luggage in his hand, he vaguely sketched a figure in his mind. Starting from the shape of the face, the soft lines, the thin and slightly pointed chin, the bright eyes, the upturned nose, and the smiling lips, he shouted softly: "Ah Rui." He couldn't help but pinch that person's cheek, looked at the other person's angry expression, leaned up to rub against Lin Xu's face with a smile.

He said: "Xiao Xu, I don't want to do my homework." Lin Xu would be angry and said, "I'm lazy again! Write it!" After a while, Lin Xu would come over and take a look, "Are you writing English? Is it difficult?" ?” After a while, Lin Xu will press half of his body directly, “Forget it, let me teach you, lest I have to stay in the office with you again... Hey! Don’t look at me while reading the test paper!”

This is his Xiao Xu.

After thinking about it for a while, Yang Fengrui couldn't help but feel beautiful, pinched his face with a stiff smile, "It's worthless."

No one cared about Yang Fengrui, a wild child, only Lin Xu regarded him as a treasure.

so stupid.

Yang Fengrui fumbled for the key in his pocket to open the door. He seemed to hear a sound inside, and footsteps approached the door.

Yang Fengrui paused for a moment, suddenly had a bad premonition, subconsciously wanted to escape, the door opened with a bang, and the glaring white light illuminated the dark stairway, he heard the other party's surprised voice: "Xiaofeng, come back Already."

Yang Fengrui stared blankly at the woman in front of him, and suppressed his voice: "Mom."

After my mother remarried three years ago, she went to another province, and she would not come back during the holidays.The mother in Yang Fengrui's memory stayed five months ago, and it was the same. Suddenly one day when he came home, he ran into her.This is like a sudden magic in ordinary life. To him, his mother is magic.You don't know when there will be magic, it's gorgeous, but it's fake.

"Xiaofeng, it's so late to come back today. Auntie and the others have finished eating, are you hungry? Mom, can you heat up the food for me?"

"casual."

"Aunt Ting said that Xiaofeng likes to eat chicken wings, so this time my mother specially marinated a lot of chicken wings, and I will eat them later."

"Oh."

……

Seeing her son, Mother Yang seemed very happy. She couldn't help reaching out to touch her son's head when she entered the kitchen, but Yang Fengrui flashed past her.Mother Yang was stunned for a moment, then withdrew her hand and responded, "They are so big, even taller than mom."

Yang Fengrui lowered his head, changed his slippers, and kicked the changed sneakers aside.He suddenly felt that it was ridiculous. In his memory, he rarely saw his mother so gentle. Cursing and complaining dimmed all his memories of home. Arrived.

Mother Yang coaxed him as if he was a five-year-old child, and looked at his face carefully as if she was afraid of saying too many words, it seemed that after many years, she finally found something that she needs to bear as a mother.

In her mind, Xiaofeng stays at the year when she was five years old and sent back to her grandmother's house; but now Yang Fengrui has reached the most rebellious age in her life, and will never learn to show weakness to her mother again.

"I heard that today is your holiday. I wanted to go to school to pick you up, but I thought I'd better make more delicious food to wait for you. I didn't expect... to go to a classmate's house? Which classmate's house? Is it far from here? Do you want my mother to cook something and send it over, so that others can take care of it. Oh, by the way, mother brought you a laptop. Do you like it? Mom doesn’t know what children like now... ..."

"Can you stop talking, it's too noisy." Yang Fengrui took a few mouthfuls of food, and turned up the TV volume with the remote control in his hand. It was buzzing, but the whole living room became quieter.

Yang Fengrui didn't look at his mother's appearance from the corner of his eye, nor did he have the heart to look at it. There seemed to be a heavy lead pressing hard on his heart. It seemed to be piercing his chest, so stuffy that he couldn't even breathe, so he took two deep breaths. , Continue to bury your head in eating.

"Yang Fengrui, what did you say? After all, that's your mother!" The aunt next to her couldn't bear to look down.

"I know it's my mother and not your mother, so what's the matter with you?"

"Raising you so big for nothing!"

"What can you do to support me yourself? Don't take money if you have the ability!"

……

Facing adults, he is fully armed and is a monster with teeth and claws.

The uncle next to him also spoke out, "Whatever the quarrel, don't say a few words. Yang Fengrui and you too, you are such a grown man, and you are not a child anymore. Why are you so self-willed? Your mother rarely comes over so you can't behave better. ?”

"It would be great if he knew. He doesn't know what's going on in such a child's heart, why can't he teach it well..." Auntie couldn't help echoing.

"It's because I didn't take him well before. Xiaofeng is still young, so he can take his time." Mother Yang also spoke out.

……

Yang Fengrui looked at them, as if he was watching a play by adults. In the background, several Ultramans were beating monsters crazily. A flood came roaring and drowned itself.

He is a bad boy, can't be taught well, doesn't know how to understand others, is ignorant, willful, selfish, selfish, irritable, assertive... He can recite these things, and he even wants to help them repeat them.

He wanted to open his mouth to say something, but found that the shielding effect also covered him, and he couldn't utter a word.

Since when, he no longer wants to argue.He even maliciously felt that as long as they were unhappy, he could be happy.

At this moment, he desperately wanted to escape from this place.

Yang Fengrui played with the phone in his hand expressionlessly, he didn't know what he was doing, he just wanted to find a gap, a gap that would allow him to temporarily avoid this place.

There was only one person in his mind, but that person was not with him, Lin Xu didn't have a mobile phone, and he couldn't even call him.

He morbidly scrolled through the names in the address book line by line, as if hoping for something, and suddenly one line came into view: Lin Xu's home.

Yang Fengrui couldn't control the trembling of his fingers, and his eyes stared at this line in a daze.It is now eleven o'clock at night.

Yang Fengrui stood up abruptly, walked through the living room, went directly into the room and locked the door.A line of stunned people remained in the living room.

Dip-dip--the wait was long.

"Hey, who are you looking for?" The young man's voice was a little hurried, as if he had just arrived, and he was panting.

Yang Fengrui laughed suddenly, clenched the phone tightly, and his impetuous heart slowly calmed down.That person's voice was very clear, and even during the voice change period, there was no hoarseness.Even if it is transmitted through a third-media phone, it still does not damage the clean sound quality.So he always tirelessly harassed her in various ways, making her voice vibrate, her voice hoarse, her panting short.

"Hey?"

"Xiao Xu." He likes this name, and just saying it has a magical power, which makes him happy and fascinated.

"Ah Rui?" The other party blurted out.

Yang Fengrui grinned.

When you like someone, a word, a sentence, a frown, or a smile from the other person are enough to affect all your emotions.

"What's the matter? Calling so late?" Everyone in the family was asleep, and Lin Xu hurried to the living room to answer the phone. He didn't turn on the lights, didn't have a jacket, and his hands and feet exposed to the air were already cold.

"Miss you." Yang Fengrui boasted without shame.

Lin Xu glanced at the dark living room, curled up and nestled on the sofa, put his phone on his face, and whispered: "Idiot."

The laughter over there couldn't stop, "Xiao Xu, I really want to touch your face." She must be blushing hot again.

"Get out, I'll go to bed if I don't talk about business, I have to catch the train early tomorrow morning."

"Going back tomorrow? Have you packed your things?"

"Well, grandpa isn't in good health, so he said he was going to stay in a daze. The luggage has already been packed. Do you think I'm you?"

"Isn't it just that you left a few things at your house... Anyway, you helped me clean it up. Don't be angry, you really won't come back after the new year?"

"Ah."

It was quiet for a while before picking up, "It will take that long."

Lin Xu's body was so cold that his body was stiff, only the half of his cheek that was touching the phone was warm. He closed his eyes and silently counted the date, "It's been a long time."

In fact, a winter vacation is not long, but I just fell in love with it, and I got used to the constant physical contact, and the noise of the other party in my ear. When I think about it, I feel a little irritable, and I can’t wait to meet the other party at this moment.

"It's so annoying, I just wanted to kiss you." Yang Fengrui was angry with his phone.

Lin Xu pursed his lips and did not speak.

Yang Fengrui shouted angrily, "Now I want to kiss you and hug you."

Lin Xu's body naturally recalled that feeling, hot lips and tongue touching, hard chest pressed tightly... He wanted to open his mouth, but found he was stuttering and didn't know what to say.

"Xiao Xu, do you want me to kiss you and hug you?"

"……Um."

"Cough cough."

At the same moment, the people on both ends of the phone blushed, and their faces were hot.

The next morning, Lin Xu woke up before dawn. After being in a daze for a while, he decided to get up and help his younger brother Lin Yuan pack his luggage. He must have missed a lot of things.My eldest brother is in his third year of high school this year, and it is the busiest time. Even if it is such a big event as going home for the New Year, he was escaped by the other party. I really don't know how to convince my parents.

Lin Xu opened the closet, pulled out the cotton-padded jackets that the two of them had gone back home for the winter from the bottom drawer, and tidied up Lin Yuan's messy clothes by the way, so that they could be seen.

It's quite strange to say, although the three in the family are all boys, the elder brother is steady and quite assertive, even the parents can only follow each other's wishes; Lin Yuan is the opposite, willful and self-willed, even slowly Growing up, but the child's heart has never been erased, and the parents are even more helpless to indulge.On the contrary, the child in the middle is silent but has never let his family worry about him since he was a child. He takes care of his family and younger brother very well, and is surprisingly sensible.Lin Xu has been praised as a child who is good at taking care of others since he was a child.

Lin Xu vaguely remembered his mother jokingly saying that she always wanted a girl at the beginning, but she didn't expect to have three children in a row and failed in the end. Now it seems that Lin Xu is here to make up for this regret.

"Is it a pity?" Lin Xu compared the clothes in his hands, and paused with his fingers.

It was still cold in the early morning, but Lin Xu walked around in pajamas and a thin sweater as if he didn't notice it. He didn't recover until his hands were frozen stiff. He took two breaths of hot air and stuck it to his cheeks. Seeps into the skin along the fingertips.He inadvertently remembered the way Yang Fengrui frowned and cursed at the beginning of winter: Damn, how did you develop a bad habit, you can wear clothes when you can get wet, but you actually have to wear slippers to go to evening self-study in winter ?Do you forget that you have to take care of yourself as soon as you leave the person you have to take care of? !Thankfully I'm back.

He was a chattering and noisy guy. When he was forced to put on his shoes and socks, he was still a little dazed. He didn't even say "the weather is not very cold", "I used to be like this and it's okay", "it's none of your business" Say it.

That kind of feeling is very strange, suddenly a feeling of being taken care of made him dumb, but he never admitted that he was slightly bewitched by this feeling, as if he had forgotten that the vacancy was dug out suddenly, only to find that it was empty .That guy doesn't know how to take care of people, even if he cares, he is overbearing and domineering on a whim.What was even more unexpected was that the voice, like a virus, quickly settled down and spread wildly to occupy the position.So that in the end, everything in life became that noisy voice.

Lin Xu later ran to change his clothes. After getting dressed tightly, his body gradually felt the warmth, but his fingertips could not warm up due to the long-term coldness.

Lin Xu waited for his parents to get up, rubbed his palms and sat on the sofa, watching the muted morning news. The balcony door was wide open, and he was in the empty living room. Not long after, his body was completely exhausted due to the long time of not moving. And start stiff.

——Hey, Xiao Xu, take your hand here.

Lin Xu was stunned for a moment, then turned his head to look around, he was a little lost in the emptiness, lowered his head to stare at his fingers, and gradually became dazed.

My fingers are fairly good-looking, five fingers are slender, with distinct knuckles, smooth and clean without many wrinkles even when bent, the bottom of the middle finger cover is worn out due to long-term writing and supporting the tip of the pen, and the tip of the finger is a little white with ice.

The fingers of Lin Xu's hands gradually moved closer together, and the fingers intersected. In the mist, it seemed that another pair of stronger and thicker hands clenched it, and there seemed to be a slight teasing laugh from the other side: this is warm ?

"Hmm... what are you thinking about?" Lin Xu suddenly murmured, covering his eyes with his palms.

Is there such a day?When you are alone, you will start to think about the other person unconsciously, and you will blush when you think about it.

At [-] o'clock in the morning, Lin Xu followed his parents on the journey back to his hometown. He took a long-distance bus, which took him a day and a night to get there. .When he was eating instant noodles, there were distant houses passing by quickly outside the window. After watching for a long time, his eyes were a little sore, dry and painful, and only the shapeless shadows that were constantly brushing were left in his mind.

My mother was talking on the phone, chatting with relatives over there with their hometown accent. The voice fluctuated in the noisy bus, as if the smell of vomit gradually spread in the air. Xu felt a little dizzy, and the instant noodles were overwhelming in his stomach. Finally, he grabbed the bag next to him and leaned over to spit it out.

Only then did Lin Xu remember in a daze: he seems to be quite motion sick.

He got used to it after vomiting, and Lin Xu collapsed completely the next day, leaning against the window with his eyes half closed, his body half crooked and unable to exert his strength.Because of the discomfort, Lin Xu kept silent, habitually not bothering his parents, occasionally waking up from a lethargic sleep covered in sweat, as if he was about to freeze in the icy air.My hometown goes north, the closer I get to my hometown, the colder the weather becomes.

Mother comforted: "It will be there in two hours."

Lin Xu responded and closed his eyes.

The more vulnerable and silent, the more I want to be alone.

He is obviously not such a person who is easily wronged and complained, but in this long time, he muttered countless if... I couldn't help but miss the feeling of being completely embraced in one's arms, or wrapped in a thick quilt The feeling of the other party's nose gently brushing against the ear, a little closer can touch the other party's jaw with the lips, and when the head is raised, the other party can be bitten in revenge to wake up the other party.

He doesn't like the feeling of the opponent's hands around his waist, as if the whole person is controlled by the opponent, and there will be slight tremors wherever the palm passes, but he is greedy when the opponent's palm surrounds him, the whole body is closely connected. The sticky skin feels warm when you rub it a little, and you can easily fall asleep as soon as you close your eyes.

——Hey, Xiao Xu, you must have fallen asleep on purpose!If you pretend to be asleep, I will kiss you, I really kiss you, I kiss you!

Lin Xu frowned in his sleep, licked the dry corner of his mouth slightly, moved his body, hummed something and went back to sleep.

Yang Fengrui's lips are always dry, and they can still feel some hard edges and corners when they are pressed together, and they will not become soft until the lips are gradually moistened.

Lin Xu couldn't help opening his mouth, feeling his throat was a little dry, recalling the childish conversation last night: "Xiao Xu, do you want me to kiss you and hug you?"

Yang Fengrui especially likes to bite his lips, sucking and biting in small bites, it is painful and numb, it seems that he likes the gasp of the person under him viciously, until the corners of the other person's eyes are really wet from the pain He lowered his head and kissed deeply, holding his tongue in his mouth as if trying to catch all the breath.

"Hmm..." Lin Xu turned over suddenly, his brows were slightly frowned, and his breathing seemed to be a little heavier.Even if I kiss many times, I can't get used to the feeling of being completely invaded at that moment. It seems that even the body temperature has been deprived by the other party. The damp and hot stirring in the mouth will confuse my brain. The panting is full of each other's taste.The boy's lips kissed his neck, and slid all the way up to the bottom of the earlobe, murmuring a name while leaving tiny traces, as if branding his own imprints one after another.

"Ah Rui," Lin Xu couldn't restrain himself, his voice was swallowed in his throat, but when he really spoke, it was a blurred unconscious syllable.He opened his eyes uncomfortably, his headache was about to explode, his throat was dry and sore, and the scenery outside the window kept passing by in front of him, he suddenly felt particularly wronged: "Asshole."

As soon as we parted, we began to miss each other.