Eat little by little

Cold water flowed from the faucet, and the water splashed on the floor. Lin Xu took the water and wiped his face vigorously. The drops of water dripped from his forehead and fell on his eyelashes.He opened his eyes, the red eyes exposed the embarrassment of his crying just now, the water drops on the eyelashes were overwhelmed and shattered, and the eyes seemed to be filled with water mist.

The eldest brother has left, but he doesn't know where he can go.

Why is it so uncomfortable?

During this time, he and Yang Fengrui had sensed that something was wrong, but they had no choice but to wait.

They hold the foam in their hands, fearing that one day it will break.Waiting is the most painful torment, but they would rather be tormented.

Lin Xu didn't know when he came here, this corner of the teaching building where he and Yang Fengrui like to hide most.He stood not far away, looking at the familiar figure squatting in the corner, his footsteps froze, unable to take another step.

"Ah Rui." Lin Xu opened his eyes wide.

The body of the teenager squatting with his knees tucked up trembled, and he raised his head slowly. The scene was so long that Lin Xu felt that he must be dazzled. He saw Yang Fengrui who was crying like a bullied child.

The two sides didn't say anything, and the tears in Lin Xu's eyes burst suddenly.He couldn't describe the feeling of heartache at that moment, he just felt that the heartache was almost distorted.He ran over staggeringly, squatted down, and looked directly at the young man's red eyes, the sadness, pain and confusion in those eyes flooded Lin Xu's body like a tide.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Lin Xu reached out to touch the tears in the corners of Yang Fengrui's eyes, his hands were soaked wet, and his whole body was trembling with heat.

It was the first time he saw Yang Fengrui in such a broken state.

Yang Fengrui remained silent, looking at the person in front of him, his eyes seemed to be trying to open wide, but his sight was blocked by the constant flood of tears.

He thought his mother was right, he was a child after all.When I feel sad, I want to cry.

"Xiao Xu, don't look at me."

Shame.

"I can't see anything." Lin Xu hurriedly wiped Yang Fengrui's tears, erasing the hot water marks over and over again.

"Fool," Yang Fengrui stretched out his numb hand to cover the face of the person in front of him, and wiped the other's cheek with his thumb stiffly, "Why are you crying?"

"Don't look at me." Lin Xu covered Yang Fengrui's eyes while crying tears.

I don't know why I cry, but I can't stop crying.

Yang Fengrui felt the familiar temperature, but his heart ached. He whispered: "Xiao Xu, she said it was just a joke."

Both are underage children. After leaving home and school, there is nowhere to find their own next meal. How can they talk about responsibility and future?Two children, who can't even guarantee their own grades and studies, how can they guarantee a good life in the future?

In their eyes, the two children who were arguing to be together were like children standing at the door of a supermarket begging for candy.

Lin Xu choked up his throat, feeling the damp heat in his palm in a daze.

That night, the two of them stayed up all night.

A 1.5-meter-wide bed board, a [-]-meter-wide silk quilt, and two growing boys squeezed together.

Lin Xu closed his eyes and opened them again, it was all darkness.

Those old days are played like a film, the silent company under the bottle in the infirmary, the close figure on the campus road, the hands secretly held under the desk, the writing traces of two people in the same exercise book, the same time. A drinking glass for two regulars...every part of his life is made up of another person.

Yang Fengrui said so many things to him:

Xiao Xu, let me grab your hand, just one.

Xiaoxu, give me a kiss, okay?

Xiaoxu, don't cry.It hurts more when you cry than when you hit someone.

Xiaoxu, I will treat you well.

Xiaoxu, we will go to a university in the future.

Xiaoxu, I miss you, come back.

Xiaoxu, I like you.

……

That rogue and bastard boy was crying so embarrassingly in front of him.

He said: Xiaoxu, don't look at it.

In the middle of the night, Lin Xu finally had red eye circles again.He finally realized: when the boy cries, he will be heartbroken, he will feel uncomfortable, and he will want to fight against the whole world.

He never could see that Yang Fengrui was wronged and scolded by the teacher. He could stand with Yang Fengrui when he was scolded and punished. If Yang Fengrui escaped by himself, he could search the entire campus until he found that guy. If Yang Fengrui is wronged and sad, he can also stay by his side until the other party feels better.

It was the first time that he was so kind to a person, so good that he was never willing to refuse any request from the other person.

What is youth?The most ignorant age, the most arrogant age, the simplest age, the most beautiful age... It was a period full of childishness, it was you and me who were immature, it was you and me who still cherished dreams, they were innocent and possessed You and me with countless black histories.

When one day, the social and human relationships we all benefit from have smoothed away, who can take off our masks and know that you used to be a wild child who loved to pile up sand and refused to go home, and you used to watch Doraemon cry It’s crazy, you used to watch TV dramas where men and women kiss and change channels... When you no longer dare to show your heart easily, who knows the days when you cried and laughed and never had to hide your emotions?

When all men and women in love no longer believe in the so-called promise of being with you forever, who will remember that once, the most beautiful sentence he could say was "I want to treat you well".

Some people will never have such love in their whole life.

I met you in the most youthful, purest and most beautiful era.

Lin Xu thought, no matter what Yang Fengrui will look like in the future, it may be a professional manager with a firm face running around all kinds of entertainment, or a rigid IT engineer who doesn't understand emotions and can only adjust programs, or a slick businessman everywhere. A salesman... He must remember that he would hug his coat to keep warm in winter, cling to himself and call his wife in various ways when he was acting like a baby, and would run away and hide in the corner when he was angry, thinking of him every night and every night Boys who are all on the phone.

They have intervened in each other's lives, so that no matter what they become in the future, they will be deeply imprinted with the imprint of the other person.

The future is difficult.

However, he wanted to grow up with Yang Fengrui.

He wanted Yang Fengrui's entire youth to be occupied by him.

He wants every habit of Yang Fengrui's future to be tainted with his shadow.

Thinking about it this way, I feel that the future will not be difficult.

When Lin Xu really fell asleep, it was already dawn.

He thought, he must call his brother when he wakes up, and he must tell his brother: He wants to fight for one time.This is his life, if he doesn't try it once, he will regret it.

That's the boy he likes.

Well, not girls.

Yang Fengrui woke up earlier than Lin Xu, and when he opened his eyes, his eyes were swollen and painful, which was the sequelae of yesterday's crying.He turned his head and saw Lin Xu's sleeping face with his head tilted to one side. He looked at it for a long time.He stretched out his hand to touch the boy's cheek, and finally couldn't help it, and gently kissed it.

My mother said: You are fake, not homosexual, let alone love.

However, he would not kiss anyone so naturally and without stagnation.

Lin Xu woke up in a daze, and leaned forward to kiss back.

The two of them got up and dressed, brushed their teeth and washed their faces, and the day was the same as every day before.

Lin Xu took a wet towel to apply to Yang Fengrui's eyes, and Yang Fengrui obediently lowered his head to facilitate Lin Xu's actions.

They almost thought that nothing happened yesterday.

But when the two walked down the dormitory building, they realized that yesterday was indeed an unending nightmare.

In the early morning before seven o'clock, a woman stood downstairs with a tired face. She looked up at the two teenagers.

Yang Fengrui's pupils dilated, he couldn't help but ask: "Mom?"

Fang Xue dragged Yang Fengrui away without saying a word, but Yang Fengrui was so weak that he had no strength to resist at all, so he turned his head to look at Lin Xu in a hurry.

Lin Xu took a step forward to grab Yang Fengrui, but was shocked by Fang Xue's cold eyes, and the outstretched hand stiffened stiffly.

It was a morning when the sky was still not fully bright, and the entire sky was still gloomy, and the gloomy lime-gray enveloped the entire city.

Lin Xu blinked, then blinked desperately, holding back the sour momentum, and stared blankly at the direction Yang Fengrui was leaving.

At that time, he didn't know that some efforts were over before they started.

The number of students walking on the campus gradually increased. Yang Fengrui wanted to break free from his mother's grasp, but his mother was very strong. He looked at his mother's face and found her red eyes and clenched lips.

When Fang Xue pushed the child into the car, she leaned against the car door and closed her eyes as if she was exhausted. She didn't even know how she survived the night.

Yang Fengrui didn't know what his mother was going to do, so Fang Xue started the car and drove away as soon as she got up, without making a sound along the way.

Yang Fengrui thought he was just being pulled out to talk, but he really panicked at this moment, "Mom, what are you doing? Stop! Where do you want to take me?"

"go home."

"Which home? Which home?" Yang Fengrui's eyes widened, "What exactly do you want?"

"No matter where you go, it's better than you staying in this school!" Fang Xue turned her head suddenly, with a bit of fierceness in her eyes.

Yang Fengrui suddenly realized that everything was beyond his control, "I still have to go to school! Are you going to take me away like this?"

"Stop going to school! What does going to school make my son go to?" Fang Xue was incoherent, "I've been thinking about it all night, and I can't go on like this. Xiaofeng, let's get out of here. We'll be fine if we leave. Nothing ever happened, and you never had that friend..."

Yang Fengrui looked at the street lights that were backing away from the car, "Stop! Stop! Don't do this, don't do this..." At that moment, Yang Fengrui really believed that Fang Xue would never let him come back.

He didn't dare to snatch the steering wheel in his mother's hand, he could only watch him leave the environment he was familiar with, feeling powerless spread all over his body, it was like this every time, he could never decide anything, and no one cared what he thought.

"Why? You just can't accept that I like Lin Xu?"

A certain word sharply hurt Yang's mother's heart. She stopped the car suddenly, turned her head and looked at her son, "Why are you still thinking about this? What did that child say to you?"

Yang Fengrui had never seen such a terrifying expression on his mother's face, he was startled for a moment, shook his head and said, "No, he didn't say anything."

Fang Xue took two deep breaths, softened her face, "Xiaofeng, listen to mom and go back with mom, okay? You're just confused for a while."

Yang Fengrui leaned back and shook his head.

Fang Xue didn't sleep all night, and her head was still dizzy. At this moment, she seemed to be dizzy with anger, and her face was pale, "Mom, please, I will treat you well in the future. You are so young, these are all fake , These are not love, you will forget them in a few years."

Yang Fengrui seemed to have thought of something, his eyes turned red, and he shook his head.He really wants to ask, what kind of person really likes it?What is love?

At this time, the most precious thing they can do is to be good to each other.

They don't know how to prove their liking, and they don't know how to make it look like they're not playing games.

The only way they can express their liking is to buy him a breakfast in the morning, take off their clothes when it’s cold, and patiently teach each other what they don’t know. They only do this, in a clumsy and simple way, To express your likes.

They have never experienced parting from life and death, great storms, poverty, and coldness, so their liking can be so easily denied, so in the eyes of adults, will their liking always be so ridiculous?

All this is because, are they still young?

Yang Fengrui couldn't figure it out, nor could he understand it.Why does mother want to make up for him while saying that she wants to hurt him doubly?

When his mother cries, he wants to cry too. Why can they never understand the way the other loves them?

The mother continued to say a lot of words, and those characters were forcefully stuffed into his brain, like a sharp small hammer hitting his original world, and after every word, there was bloody pain.

Yang Fengrui gradually couldn't hear what his mother was saying, he could only shake his head, expressing his resistance by shaking his head.

Yang's mother was finally pushed to the end. After a night of wild thinking, and today's son's repeated resistance, her spirit almost collapsed, "Xiaofeng, what are you thinking? You are not! You are not gay at all! You were not before, you It won't be in the future! Mom doesn't discriminate against this, but... child, it can't be you!" It can't be you!

A gentle and beautiful woman, for the sake of a child, has become as ugly as a beast at this moment.

Fang Xue couldn't cry, she lowered her head and looked around for her mobile phone, "The one named Lin Xu, I'm about to get the phone number, I want to call his mother to have a good chat, which family's child is this! How is this raised?" It came out! How could he hold on to someone else's son? He doesn't think he's disgusting or dirty!"

Yang Fengrui's eyes widened, "Mom, what are you doing? Don't move, don't—" Lin Xu's warm smile appeared in his mind.Xiaoxu is the most well-behaved child in the family, and also the place that his parents are most proud of.Yang Fengrui couldn't imagine what would happen if Xiaoxu's family found out... "Mom, don't! Please don't!" He rushed to stop his mother from grabbing the phone, and hugged her, "No, really don't!"

Yang Fengrui didn't hate his incompetence for a moment.He could never decide anything, his parents threw him to the countryside, he wanted to go home but couldn't, he wanted to like someone but couldn't.He felt that all his values ​​were collapsing, what he liked was denied, what he wanted to protect he was unable to protect.It's all because he's still so young.Haha, it's ridiculous, so he can't decide anything.

Lin Xu is so good, he is his warmest existence, and he is holding it in his hands and wishing to face the good treasure forever.He didn't have time to treat him well, how could he be hurt like this. "Mom, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault. Please, don't, don't... Xiao Xu will cry, I have made him cry so many times... I was wrong, I was really wrong..."

Tears flowed wantonly, the nasal cavity could no longer breathe, all the sorrow could only be vented through the throat, all the sorrow filled the chest, every word was choked to the point of crying.He had never hated himself so much... That was the boy he liked, but he couldn't protect him.

The mobile phone was pressed for hands-free, and the moment it was dialed, Yang Fengrui went crazy. He rushed to grab the mobile phone desperately. Fang Xue was frightened. In the confusion, the mobile phone was thrown and hit the window. Then it fell under the back seat.

It was connected over there, and after a few hellos, no one answered, so he hung up muttering.

Fang Xue stared blankly ahead, as if she had never known her son before her.

Yang Fengrui was panting heavily, his fingers still tightly clutching his mother's sleeve.

After a long period of silence, Yang Fengrui slowly let go of his hand, his eyes were empty.He sat back on the chair, and all the images of him and Lin Xu getting along flashed through his mind like a movie, cherishing every second very much.

I don't know how long it took, Yang Fengrui said hoarsely, "Mom, I'll go back with you." The moment the words fell, a layer of water mist appeared on the dry eye sockets with difficulty.

Even if Lin Xu's words occasionally reveal his loneliness that his parents don't love him enough, Yang Fengrui always knows that Lin Xu loves his family and his relatives deeply.Lin Xu has a complete family, the warmth of his parents and brothers, and an ordinary but happy childhood.All this is what he dreamed of.So he knows how beautiful these are.

How could he be willing to ruin these beauties?

Such a good Xiaoxu should deserve the best.

He started to hate himself again, he likes Xiaoxu so much, so much...why can't he give him the best?

Can't cry anymore.stop crying!Yang Fengrui, you idiot, you only cry!

When Lin Xu sat in the classroom, he didn't know what he was waiting for.He just suddenly felt uncomfortable, staring at the exercise book belonging to Yang Fengrui in his hand in a daze.

Until the bell rang for the last class of evening self-study, everyone left one by one.

That guy still hasn't come back.

He called and turned off the phone.

Lin Xu rushed into the toilet, slapped his face with cold water, and walked out, looking at the darkened classroom and the brightly lit dormitory building in the distance, he felt that the surroundings sucked him in like a whirlpool.He told himself he couldn't cry anymore, he was so grown up and so childish.

But the reason why the child cries is because he cannot do many things.

Just like now, Yang Fengrui was taken away, once the phone was turned off, and he stood here, there was no way to find him.

As long as adults want to, children can do nothing.

So he couldn't prevent Yang Fengrui from being pulled away by his mother, and he couldn't ask the teacher why Yang Fengrui didn't come back to class. He only had a mobile phone number.

He can't get through.

He can only keep replaying it.

Other than that, he couldn't do anything.

The person he liked was snatched away, so he could only sit here, follow the school timetable, like a gear, continue to attend classes, continue to do homework, and continue to take exams.

A deep sense of powerlessness wrapped around his body like vines, trapping him in place.Lin Xu squatted down slowly and leaned against the wall, sobbing silently.

He wanted to grow up with that boy.However, he didn't want to, so he could.

They can't even be acknowledged that they like each other.

He likes him, how simple it is.

But why is it so difficult.