Eat little by little

It's raining again.

As soon as Lin Xu came out of the cafeteria, the whole field of vision was covered by rain, and the hazy water vapor lingered, as if the world had been swallowed by a beast called "Chun".

"Damn it, it's been raining for a week now." The roommate in the same company opened the umbrella depressedly, and turned to look at Lin Xu, "It says in the geography book, isn't it called 'Back to the South'?"

Lin Xu acted as if he hadn't heard it. He was fascinated by the rain and mist, and blinked, as if he could still feel the weight of the torrential rain on his body that day. His heart was soaked in water vapor, wrinkled and painful.

"Hey, Lin Xu, what are you doing? Come in!" The roommate waved his hand.

Lin Xu suddenly came back to his senses, and quickly pulled out a smile, "It's not good to rub your umbrella all the time, I'll go to the canteen and buy one."

Every spring, it is such a continuous rain that the walls and floors of the room will seep with water.He couldn't wait for the rain to end.

Like he couldn't wait for this nightmare to end.

In my impression, Yang Fengrui seldom brought an umbrella. In junior high school, he always broke into the classroom dripping wet, standing like a monster among his classmates.

The students were in class, and the bastard was squeezing the water from his clothes at the back of the classroom. The sound of the teacher's lecture and the sound of water ticking on his seat rang alternately, until the teacher couldn't bear it anymore and drove the guy back to the dormitory.

After having him, Yang Fengrui didn't carry an umbrella at all.

That guy was very active, and every time he dangled in the rain, he moved the angle of the umbrella frightenedly, always gnashing his teeth in anger from the other party.After returning to the dormitory, the guy was refreshed, so he had to change out of his wet clothes.

I don’t remember when that guy stopped moving around. Every time he raised his umbrella, he walked obediently beside him like a three-good student, and more often he hugged his shoulders and whispered in his ear. Lots of things, the latest movie, bad games, good potato chips...

"Lin Xu, Lin Xu! Why are you in a daze again?"

Lin Xu shook the handle of the umbrella in his hand before turning his head to meet his roommate's face, the look in his eyes slowly dimmed.

Now even the roommate felt something was wrong, "Lin Xu, what's the matter with you these days? Are you sick?"

Lin Xu shook his head violently, "It's okay, I haven't slept well recently."

He thought he looked the same as before, but he didn't want to, everyone noticed his abnormality.

When you leave a person, you find that there are so many fragments about him in your world, and every moment and every second are tenaciously bulging.He didn't know what he was doing, clinging to the memories of the past to linger?

The world of memories is false. When he opened his eyes and looked at the real world, he felt that it was terribly strange, and there was a figure missing in every gap and every time point.

If this is the barrier that every lovelorn must step out of, then how big is this cage and how long will he have to go?

No one knew he was in the cage, and no one could accompany him out.

The rain continued until the afternoon.

After buying a new umbrella, Lin Xu no longer walked with the people in the dormitory.He was afraid of revealing his emotions, so he could only make himself look more indifferent.

The way to the classroom I have traveled countless times, the more familiar I am, the more unfamiliar I am.The puddles were deep and shallow, and the shoes splashed tiny water droplets on the limestone ground.

He almost thought that he could not reach the end of the road, and the hand holding the umbrella became tighter and tighter until he saw the teaching building.On the third floor of the stairs, he stopped on the second floor, and turned his eyes slightly to the corridor on the right. He didn't know what he wanted to see. When he recovered, he raised his legs and continued to climb the stairs.

Step by step, the tip of the umbrella in my hand dripped water all the way.

Walking to the door of his classroom, he stopped in his footsteps, looking at an umbrella lying quietly by the window, a turbulent sourness rushed into his eyeballs, his chest was punctured like a balloon full, and the pain was so empty.

Dark gray umbrella cloth, rubbed and tarnished tail, this is the umbrella that accompanied him for three years.

The umbrella cloth was rolled up in a mess, looking pitifully abandoned.

That idiot is so bad at retracting umbrellas.

Lin Xu wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

The new umbrella in his hand was clean and bright, dripping with water.

That old umbrella, seems to be redundant.

In this world, every minute and every second, there are joys and sorrows. Sometimes you feel that your sorrow is enough to drown the whole world, but it is just an inconspicuous wave in thousands of lives.

At this moment, he silently put the umbrella into the deep part of the drawer, took out his textbooks, and waited for the bell to ring for class.The people at the same table and the people next to them were excitedly discussing the game guide they watched at noon, and the people in the back seat hurriedly ate their unfinished snacks.

No one knew that his whole heart was crying.

He thought he was used to being alone, but he never wanted that noisy voice at such a moment.

——Xiao Xu, do you like me?

--like.

So what?

Time is like a noisy train rushing forward, not stopping for anyone.

Lin Xu's life suddenly became busy, and it was good to lose that bastard, no one was bothering him, and no one took up his time.

He is used to figuring out unfinished homework late at night, squeezed into a deep sleep next to the bed against the wall, often wakes up in the middle of the night and subconsciously checks to see if there is a quilt next to him, just like this, he often wakes up before dawn .When there was no bastard, he washed very quickly. In the empty bathroom, there was only the sound of water coming out of the faucet. There was no sound of that guy swallowing toothpaste foam over and over again, and there was no act of that guy maliciously turning around to grab his towel.

He is used to listening to English recordings on the way to the teaching building, with continuous words in his head and stiff pronunciation over and over in his mouth.

That guy likes to eat meat porridge for breakfast in the cafeteria. Without that guy, he can just take two meat buns and eat them in the classroom, and make a set of papers by the way.He was always the first in the classroom, alone in the empty space.

Without that guy, he even did his homework a lot faster.

Or maybe it was because he got up too early, and often he fell asleep before finishing a set of papers.It wasn't until there were more people in the classroom that he woke up amidst the noise, and stared at the paper in his hand in a daze for a while.

At first, he would secretly think about that person, what is that guy doing?What class are you taking?have you eaten yet?

Gradually, he stopped thinking about it.

Even though you are in the same school, you are both in class, doing your homework, and taking exams, that person seems to have disappeared into your world.

The mid-term exam is over, the monthly exam is coming, and the final exam will be soon.

I can't wait to break it into two days every day, so I don't have time to think about those questions that no one has answered.

When the homeroom teacher announced the news that the school sports meeting will be held at the class meeting, the students were in an uproar, and once again criticized the school leader for his pigheadedness. What are they thinking about the sports meeting at this critical moment?

Lin Xu buried his head in packing his books, flipped through the exercise book, and accidentally turned to a page, on which there was a hand-drawn drawing of a ridiculous shape, a silly rabbit, round black eyes, two front teeth, next to that guy's ugly The handwriting is marked with the word "Xiao Xu".

idiot.

Lin Xu sneered, lowered his eyelids, and gently stroked the two words with his fingers, as if he could think of the proud look of that guy after drawing this pattern.

Someone next to him suddenly pronounced "Yang Fengrui". Lin Xu was taken aback for a moment, then raised his head and looked around, only to find out that the class was signing up for the competition. Some students who are good at sports.

Immediately afterwards, someone shouted, "You are stupid, Yang Fengrui has already changed shifts!"

"How did I forget? Tsk, there is another strong opponent..."

Lin Xu looked down at the exercise book in his hand again, his fingers unconsciously followed the outline of the silly rabbit, as if repeating the guy's original movements.

Everyone forgot about that guy, and only remembered him when they needed him.

Maybe one day, he will forget about that bastard too.

Isn't that what TV shows do?Time heals all wounds.

Seeing Yang Fengrui again was out of the blue.

It's as if God always wants to throw a stone on the calm water.

The cafeteria was crowded with people, and there was a long queue in front of the entrance to take meals. The tables that were originally vacant were filled with students, bustling with each other.

Lin Xu walked with difficulty between the dining table with the dinner plate, glanced everywhere, and suddenly stopped.

For a moment, he thought he had misread, and blinked again and again.

It was a dining table with four chairs, and a young man was sitting alone in one corner, with only half of his face exposed.

In the noise, that place seemed to be cut out out of thin air, alone in another world.

Yang Fengrui didn't eat at school at noon before, and he didn't know why he came today.

The people behind pushed Lin Xu, and Lin Xu continued to move forward, but he couldn't help looking in that direction through the passing students.

With more and more people, there are not enough seats at the table.

Two boys passed by the guy, asked something in a low voice, and sat on the other side of the table.The two boys chatted as soon as they sat down, their expressions were excited, and they often squinted their eyes with laughter.And the boy next to him ate his meal with a cold face, as if he was excluded from the whole world.

Lin Xu, who returned to his seat, didn't know what to eat.

In this position, he could no longer see that guy, but he was forced to press the replay button in his mind, replaying the scene just now over and over again.He tried his best to open his eyes wide, lowered his head, and looked at the colorful meals on the dinner plate.

He chewed dryly without realizing it, and the entire surface of his tongue was bitter.

In the end, he lowered his head and covered his eyes.

He wanted to pass through the crowds and tables, like every time before, to sit in front of that guy and tell him: today there is a dish you like.

However, he can't.

He could just sit here and pretend he didn't see anything.

After that day, Lin Xu no longer went to the cafeteria to eat, and asked his roommate to help carry a fast food box every day.

After all, he is not as strong as imagined, whether you call him cowardly or petty, he just hasn't learned not to feel uncomfortable.

He was afraid of seeing Yang Fengrui alone.

The kind of deep loneliness is that all the excitement has nothing to do with me.

At the end of the monthly exam, Lin Xu's grades improved slightly, barely returning to the middle of the class.A week later, the school posted the names of the top [-] students in the grade on the notice board downstairs.

On the tip of the tree branch next to the notification bar, there are crumbling drops of water, revealing a hint of crystal green.

A teenager stood under a tree, reading each name one by one in front of the notification bar, and after reading them all, he went back and read them again.

That guy's ranking is generally around 80.

Lin Xu looked at the rankings from 70 to 90 repeatedly, as if he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. He didn't know how many times he read them, and he was almost familiar with the string of names before giving up.

The breeze blew, and the water droplets on the branches fell down, like a light rain for no reason.

He was absent-minded on the way back, but in the end he couldn't help laughing, a bitter smile.

What is he doing?

Like a thief.

It was so difficult for him to even know that guy's grades.

Lin Xu seems to have foreseen all his days to come, the traces of that guy will be erased bit by bit in his life, and the vacant time and space will be filled by other things, he will There are new living habits and new social circles.

One day, even if he and that guy meet face to face, they will pretend not to know each other and look indifferent.

There is one month left until the end of term.

Lin Xu didn't think about that guy much anymore, his mind was always blank, as if a large area had been forcibly dug out to keep him in a vacuum state at any time.The rest of the time is for class, review, and homework.

Every day is a well-arranged life, the same students, the same teachers.

The old gray and white curtains beside the classroom window were pulled up, revealing the gray sky outside, barely illuminating the entire classroom.At six o'clock in the morning, Lin Xu was the only one in the classroom, so he carried his English textbook to the end of the corridor to recite words.

The small potted plants placed on the edge of the corridor have sprouted, and the small green leaves are shiny and pleasant, sticking to the soft water vapor.Lin Xu poked the little leaf with his fingers, the corners of his mouth curled up, his eyes turned to the distance, and his breathing tightened slightly.

In the early morning, the fog is hazy, and the distance is not clear, only a figure can be seen faintly coming from the direction of the campus gate.

Gray stone road, milky white mist, green branches and leaves, sweet red stamens.

He is wearing a water-blue school uniform, black sneakers, and a brown-gray shoulder bag on his shoulders. His black bangs seem to be pressed on his forehead because of the moisture. As he walks step by step, Lin Xu seems to be able to hear each other. The sound of water splashing from puddles underfoot.

With his head down, he was holding bread in one hand and a milk carton in the other, eating as he walked.He walked too anxiously, as if he stepped on something, he stomped his feet, looking a little irritable.Lin Xu guessed that he must have swearing.

The boy looked down at the soles of his feet, and suddenly raised his head to look in the direction of the teaching building.

Lin Xu was startled, and when he came back to his senses, he was already squatting on the floor, clutching the English book tightly in his hand, listening to his rapid breathing.

After a while, he stood up a little uneasy again, glanced outside, the place was empty, and sighed.

On a spring morning, a boy on the campus road.

Lin Xu guessed: He should be sent to school by his mother every morning, probably between 06:30 and [-]:[-].

The backpack has changed, it used to be a black and blue shoulder bag; the hair has also grown longer, covering the forehead; the shoes seem to have not been changed, they should still be the same brand as before... Why don't you bring an umbrella, it is obviously raining lightly.

At the end of the corridor on the third floor, a boy also wearing a water-blue school uniform was holding a textbook in his hand, staring blankly at the small green shoots in the potted plants.

That day, Lin Xu's mood seemed to improve.

Li Yiheng, who was at the same table next to him, smiled and Lin Xu laughed a lot today, and asked with a blink of an eye, "What's wrong? Something good happened?"

Lin Xu shook his head and smiled again.

Li Yiheng spread his hands, "That's right, if you laugh again, you'll blind me."

During self-study in the evening, Lin Xu went out again with an unknown textbook, and stood still at the end of the corridor, poking his head out like a punishment.

There were students leaving one after another behind him, and some people greeted Lin Xu, and Lin Xu responded wholeheartedly.

With the departure of the students, the teaching building gradually cooled down like boiling water.

Lin Xu's eyes were a little sore, he stared at the street lamp beside the road in a daze, and after a while, he blinked.

A dusty figure appeared, carrying a shoulder bag, walking slowly through the puddles in the orange halo, casting a dark black shadow under the street lamp.

Lin Xu stretched out his hand, and thin raindrops in the air fell on his palm, which was icy cold.He looked at the back that was gradually moving away, couldn't help laughing, withdrew his hand and patted his face, which was also cool.

He memorized, it is 10:30 now.

During those long and gloomy days, Lin Xu had a little secret that belonged only to him.

He's surreptitiously inserted that guy's presence into his life.

Every morning and every night, like a good student, he stood by the corridor holding English books, political books, and physics books, reciting words, texts, and formulas.

He couldn't see the guy's appearance clearly, nor could he see what the guy had for breakfast today.He just greedily looked at the vague outline, that familiar figure, and gently stroked the air with his fingers.

He knew that doing so was tantamount to escaping this cage, which was drinking poison to quench thirst.

But at least that guy hasn't disappeared from his life.

Once upon a time, my world was all about you.

The world without you is blank.

The rhythm at the end of the term is very tense, and Lin Xu is dizzy and dizzy to follow the study every day. During the evening self-study simulation test, the pen refill in his hand ran out of water. He hurriedly searched the drawer and found the pen refill box. Only then did he remember that this is the guy of.

Lin Xu just looked away, then quickly lowered his head and continued to calculate.

A flash passed through my mind: I wonder if that guy bought a refill?

As soon as the bell rang for evening self-study and school, Lin Xu hurriedly handed in the paper and ran out, waiting at the entrance of the corridor.Li Yiheng, who was at the same table, also came out, muttering, "It's hard to die. Lin Xu, you did it so fast!"

Lin Xu couldn't care less about this guy, so he answered twice.

Li Yiheng was upset, and followed suit, "What are you watching?"

Lin Xu was startled, and pushed the other person back, "I didn't see anything."

"Who would believe it? They run outside every night." Li Yiheng pretended to stick out his tortoise head.

Lin Xu coaxed Li Yiheng back while glancing outside, tired for a while.He was relieved when the other party finally compromised.

He squatted on the corridor and looked outside like a little squirrel again.

1 minutes, 2 minutes, 10 minutes, half an hour...

All the students in the big class in the teaching building were gone, and the lights of the three-story teaching buildings were turned off one by one, and they were plunged into darkness.

Lin Xu's face was also shrouded in darkness.

The street lamps in the distance quietly illuminated the concrete road, the weeds on the roadside were shaken by the wind, and the black shadows kept shaking.

The entire teaching building was eerily quiet, and the drops of water on the railings along the corridor seemed to make a crisp sound when they fell on the floor.

It's almost eleven o'clock.

When Lin Xu turned his head, his face was a little confused and a little overwhelmed.He somehow ran to the second floor. From a distance, he knew that the entire second floor was dark, but he walked forward without giving up, until he reached the door of the class, the dark classroom, the closed doors and windows.

Lin Xu stood at the door stupidly for a while, feeling a little dazed.

What's his displeasure?What could he be angry about?

Originally, when that guy left was his business, how could he decide?Maybe he handed in the papers early and left, maybe he was sick and asked for leave in the afternoon...

Lin Xu stiffly walked back to his classroom, the only place in the entire teaching building that was still lit, the security guards had already started patrolling, shouting at the door: "Go back quickly, the dormitory will be locked."

"Well, okay." Lin Xu grabbed a few books and left the classroom quickly.

The way back became very long, and after insisting on taking two steps, Lin Xu squatted down slowly.The whole body is shrunk in the backlight of the street lamp, like an inconspicuous big rock.

He wanted to cry, but also wanted to laugh.

In the end, I just felt ridiculous.

In the short 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening, he kept his treasures in his hands, hiding them like a fool, not daring to let anyone know, waiting happily, and being poured with cold water again.

All emotions are hooked, laughing easily, sad easily, and can't control myself at all.

As everyone knows, the other party just left earlier, so he can only wait for one night.

Sure enough, he is guilty.

He thought that no one would know, so he could secretly hide that little bit of joy and longing.

Deserved to be punished.

Why, can't you even secretly like it?

The rain fell heavily again, falling on the body, penetrating through the clothes and sticking to the skin, corroding the skin like sulfuric acid, as if the whole body would melt in the water.

It's like a reincarnated nightmare.

Ah Rui, Ah Rui...

Lin Xu read softly, his voice choked with sobs.

what to do?I miss you so much.

How long before I can miss you.