come close to me hold me

An Xun felt cold all over, and was stunned for two seconds in confusion.

It is not yet possible to confirm the original intention of the relationship. It is to protect the little girl from being deceived by the filter of identity differences, and to not delay her rising stage.

But such an ambiguity with unclear boundaries, what exactly is it protecting her?How can we guarantee that there will be no delay?What is the difference between my current behavior and those scumbag men and women who have young appetites?

The little girl touched her cheek, and she promised a hot kiss in advance, and agreed to sleep in a separate room, but she repeatedly interfered in privacy.

Shameless, vulgar, wretched, perverted...

Countless unbearable words erupted in my mind.An Xun seemed to see that everyone around her was pointing fingers at her crimes, throwing rotten cabbage and rotten eggs, accusing her of being ignorant.

Then, he backed away a few steps, deliberately keeping a distance: "Yi En, the elevator is here."

Jiang Yien thumped as if she had lost a treasure, her arms were so empty that she couldn't stand still.It's like opening a gift box with joy, but the name inside is not written on it.It's like biting a lotus seed, and it's destined to taste a bit of bitterness after the sweetness.

He entered the elevator without making a sound, and watched the red numbers on the telescreen fall one after another, and his heart also plummeted.

But An Xun, still retaining a decent gentleness, asked with a smile: "Xiao En, what do you want to eat tonight?"

"Aren't you tired? Let's go home and warm up the Italian food we packed for lunch."

Jiang Yien replied calmly.

She has long been tortured to the point of exhaustion, and she no longer knows whether An Xun is too fickle, or she is too sensitive and suspicious.

Perhaps, this is the so-called torment of romance. Love can always make everything big and make everything small; love turns a reckless man into a poet, and makes the poet willing to be a reckless man; Let adults become children again.

She suddenly understood Ji Xiaoyu's sorrows and joys in every love, loss after falling in love, getting drunk late at night, tossing and turning... It turned out that it was all about showing off.

At least, when it was her turn, she enjoyed it.

On the way home, the atmosphere between the two of them was a bit delicate, Jiang Yien looked out the window, his eyes were always attached to the brightly lit shopping mall building.I am nostalgic for the gentle and romantic Italian language, the toffee kiss, the presumptuousness in the home furnishing store, the bright smiling eyes in the sunset, and the appearance of An Xun holding the blue-headed duckling like a treasure .

If she looks at all the adventures that happened on this day with a romantic heart, she will even miss the last taste of sourness and astringency.

What An Xun gave her was worth remembering.

Romance is romantic, but the sudden abnormality still made Jiang Yien feel a little lump in his heart. He didn't want to leave the problem alone for the night, and couldn't bear to let An Xun toss and turn alone at night with his thoughts hidden. As soon as he entered the house, he took the lead in breaking the deadlock.

"Sister An, you have something on your mind in the future, can you tell me?"

The emotion in An Xun's eyes was still obscure.

In fact, An Xun's chaotic heart was a little surprised. He was so quiet, and this girl had a panoramic view of him. He pondered for a long time with guilt, and felt that he should let go of his knot.

"Okay, Xiao En, let's talk."

Jiang Yien's hand holding the big and small bags tightly, An Xun's expression was exactly the same as that of the teacher who talked to her after a fight at school.

She saw that An Xun's back was a bit depressed, and she also saw An Xun put down the heavier bags in her hands, looked at the couple's household items inside, and sighed softly.

Jiang Yien's nose ached, and his heart felt unspeakably sore.She didn't know what that sigh meant, and she didn't know if Sister An would think her childish because of those couple items, or if it was really hard to pamper a child.

She was a little helpless, a little helpless.

I'm so good at observing words and expressions, why I still can't understand you.

On the sofa, An Xun took the lead and sat at one end, Jiang Yien hesitated and sat at the other end.She thought that what An Xun meant by not sitting in the middle was to keep herself away from her.

An Xun just sat in that corner habitually. In so many lonely nights, this was her way of seeking a sense of security.Because curled up in a corner with the armrest of the sofa, there will be an extra shelter beside you.

Now, seeing Jiang Yien sitting so far away, something stabbed her heart, and the armrest beside her seemed to be unable to support her.With his head down, his vision was blurred for a moment, and he softly expressed his apology in his heart:

"There is one thing, I want to apologize to you. Although there is an agreement between us, I shouldn't cross the line repeatedly before we are officially together. So, I'm sorry."

Jiang Yien's heart trembled violently, he was immersed in the ambiguity with unclear boundaries, but he was hit in the head, every word of An Xun was caught off guard, his hazy dream was broken, his body stiffened, his throat was choked with grievance , speechless.

What kind of romantic suffering, what kind of love feeling...

They are not lovers at all.

At least, she thought that An Xun enjoyed crossing the boundary as much as she did, but she went the other way.It turns out that for so long, An Xun has been conflicted and entangled under his seemingly peaceful appearance. It turns out that after every intimacy, An Xun is alone bearing the guilt.

She almost forgot that for An Xun who is used to rejecting others, intimacy is abnormal.

"Sister An, you don't need to apologize, I'm all willing, and I also... like it very much..."

She didn't dare to look at An Xun, she just faltered and faltered, scratching her trouser legs uneasily.

In fact, she also thinks she can't blame An Xun, after all, she has never been brave in this relationship.If not, why did that person suffer so much that he collapsed, woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, and begged with broken eyes:

"Can you, hold me tight."

Now, is she really holding on tight again?

An Xun saw the little girl's embarrassment, so she put on a softer attitude and gently insisted on her principles:

"You are still studying now, and you must have your own life plan. I am worried that I will disturb you and prevent you from walking the path you should go. So for the time being, let's keep a distance enough to calm each other, shall we?"

Just don't love so deeply, can you?

I'm afraid I will be reluctant to let you fly too high and fly too far.

I am afraid that one day, I will not be able to catch up with your footsteps.

"But, you are the way I want to go." Jiang Yien raised his head and said firmly.

An Xun didn't despise Jiang Yien's childish words, looked at the little girl, her eyes full of doting, and patiently explained: "Xiao En, you have not only me in your life, but also your education, Your career, your hobbies and your own life.”

"Are you going to... drive me away?"

Jiang Yien looked at An Xun with her heart hanging. Under the dim light, the person at the other end also became erratic, as if she would disappear in the next moment. She couldn't see her eyes clearly, nor could she see her thoughts clearly. .

The eye sockets were unbelievably red.

"I'm not trying to drive you away..."

An Xun hesitated to speak, she didn't know how to express it, she didn't want to drive her away, but it seemed that the words didn't convey her meaning again.Seeing the red eyes of the little crying bag, his heart ached and his chest was heavy, he immediately got up and sat down beside Jiang Yien, not daring to wrap her in his arms, but hesitantly stretched out his hand, and landed on the back that was bent because of the pain.

He pondered for a while.

"Silly girl……"

"Did you know? The best relationship is not two semicircles put together to form a circle, but two complete and independent circles. Because of love, they step into the same track and walk side by side. If you give up yourself for love too early , I'm afraid you will regret it in the future."

Perhaps, for An Xun, she would rather take the risk that her girl will not belong to her one day, than see Jiang Yien's life with the slightest bit of regret.

Especially unwilling, this regret is about myself.

"Who said I'm going to give up on myself?"

Jiang Yien was puzzled for a while before he realized what An Xun was worrying about, and he had mixed feelings in his heart.She was asking for a sense of security, but her sister An had been enduring the torment of delayed gratification, worried about her future, and planned everything for her.

The heartbeat is also because of the tenderness that permeates the bone marrow.

Jiang Yien also seems to be belatedly aware of why An Xun sat at that end in the first place, she has always sat there, she has always liked to huddle in the corner where the armrest and the backrest connect.

Just like when I was a child, I always liked to huddle in the corner of the bookstore. It turned out that there was Sister An's corner.

She always felt that An Xun would favor her because her childishness reminded An Xun of her sister. In order to make An Xun feel more comforted, she was always brimming with innocence, but she forgot that Sister An also needed a little help. A mature and dependent.

She shouldn't have let her, so hard.

"The road I'm talking about is not only about our future, of course, it also includes our future. In addition, I also want to be an excellent surgeon like you. I also want to be able to have a few A good paper has become a knife in thoracic surgery."

"Well... But if you are here, two knives are fine!"

An Xun couldn't help laughing.

Jiang Yien saw that An Xun was finally showing some joy, and his heart lightened: "Sister An, I am not a child anymore, I... also really feel very happy, to be loved by you as a child."

"But I also know that the furthest distance from my lover is not the distance in space, but that I will never be the one who is most worthy of her."

An Xun lowered his eyebrows, looking into the little girl's eyes with some surprise, never expecting her to say such words beyond her age.She thought that girls of this age, no matter how smart they are, would inevitably be overwhelmed by love, obsessed with the distance and beauty in front of them, which would lead to confusion of vision and mind. This is why An Xun always wants to wait.

But Jiang Yien doesn't seem to need her to worry about this at all.

"It seems that my little friend is really not easy." Rubbing the girl's hair in relief, he still couldn't let go of his worries and asked, "However, it is not an easy task to join Renzhuo Chest. It is necessary to have study abroad experience..."

An Xun paused, and then said:

"Xiao En, no matter what, I hope you will not stop easily when you can still improve yourself."

Jiang Yien pursed her lips, she could hear what An Xun said.

In fact, she has been thinking about studying abroad for a long time, and said that it is impossible not to hesitate because of An Xun.The scenery as far as I can see can't be shared with each other, and I can't be with each other when I'm sick. This kind of sadness, just thinking about it, is very tortured.

But she also knows the truth, if she can't join Renzhuo smoothly, if she misses an important experience, there will always be a gap between her and An Xun.

"Sister An, I have a plan to apply for an exchange in the third year of graduate school with the school, collect some first-hand information, focus on writing a few papers, and apply for a Ph.D. when I return home."

"I've counted the jet lag. We can talk on the phone during your lunch break. If I don't have class in the afternoon, I can video coax you to sleep. I can come back during the Christmas holiday. We won't be apart for too long."

"Sister An, don't worry about me anymore. I know you always feel that you are older than me and you have to shoulder more, but I don't want you to work so hard. You say that lovers need to be equal. You just have to let go of your age. We are truly equal."

"In medicine, I will inevitably advance under your leadership. I know that Renzhuo has an unwritten rule. When encountering danger, as a senior, you can never let the younger generation rush ahead of you. I don't want to break this rule. Maybe one day I will become someone else's senior."

"In that life, let me, okay? Let me be your sister, okay? I'll worry about you, I'll support you, I'll protect you from wind and rain, okay?"

An Xun's brows trembled, and his eyes instantly moistened.

Listening to the little girl's eloquence, I was shocked and delighted several times.She thought that no matter how mature a child was at this age, Jiang Yien refreshed her understanding of girls in their early 20s time and time again.

Jiang Yien will be a safe haven, a corner where you can curl up.She also has too clear values, and she doesn't need to work hard to guide her.

Such a smart and wise girl, why do I shrink back, for fear that I will miss her life.Falling in love with her is not muddle-headed, not cheating.

She is her clear-eyed choice.

She has never been careless.

"Who wants you to sleep? I'm not a child."

Tears were already in his eyes, and childishness was overflowing in his heart, but he still lowered his eyebrows and smiled in embarrassment.

Still, insincerely.

The author has something to say: there will be an update on the 4th, and the holiday will be sold out in advance, cuties, don’t miss Chapter 56~

I saw it recommended by Xiaocutie twice, happy fried chicken!I am very lucky that my story can be on your cute spot.Every time I receive a bib comment, I feel so relieved when I hear you say my sister~ Thanks to the baby who is reading for accompanying me all the way, I will continue to work hard when my performance is poor!