come close to me hold me

In mid-September, Jiang Yien's district was finally unsealed. The professor who discriminated against Asian students apologized to her and all Chinese students in public, and invited her to speak at her academic sharing meeting as a representative of outstanding researchers.

The elegant neckline of the shirt outlines the white neck, and a button that is spread out reveals a delicate safety lock, which is decorated in the center of the collarbone.The once ignorant and shy girl now has an intellectual and generous appearance, explaining what she has learned from participating in the research in the past two years in a fluent language.

At the end of the speech, there was thunderous applause from the audience, followed by boos. She was just surprised when she saw a foreign boy holding flowers running out of the crowd. He came to the stage with a young and immature smile. Beside her, he said something to her in stumbling Chinese:

"I love you."

There was a moment of surprise in her eyes. Her lover had to go through countless struggles to say this sentence carefully, but she couldn't even name the man in front of her accurately.

She didn't want to pay attention to this indiscretion at first, and she even felt that this foreigner who couldn't understand Chinese at all was underestimating the weight of these three words.But also because she had hugged An Xun's arm countless times to express liking obscurely, she could understand that behind these careful confessions, there was a burning courage.

In any case, An Xun never underestimated her rash confession.

So, she took the flowers generously and responded in English:

"Thank you, this is my wife's favorite flower."

The video of the sharing meeting quickly spread across the country, and the image of the Goddess Xueba caused a heated discussion in Renzhuo Medical University and the attached middle school.The "Enai" exchange group that had been silent for a year also exploded suddenly, and all the rumors about the breakup were self-defeating.

In front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, gardenia and jasmine are bathed in the sun, and the water droplets are crystal clear, swaying purity and clarity.There was a cup of tea on the small round table, and An Xun, who was leaning on the sofa beside him, was still thin, but his face was a little rosy.

Jiang Yien's determination made her slowly walk out of the darkness. She had already given her all in her career, and her love for life gradually became alive when the first gardenia bloomed.

Even if it is far away, she is still trying to change, trying to make herself worthy of the girl's passionate love, and looking forward to the girl's return date with her increasingly perfect soul.

She lowered her eyebrows and smiled, and watched that video many times. She saw elegant makeup, well-matched hair, and smooth long hair. Compared with the familiar look a few years ago, the little girl was really mature. many.

After pausing several times, fingertips pressed against the screen, from the delicate eyebrows to the lovely dimples of the elves, the eyes were full of affectionate love, and finally couldn't help but shed a few tears, and murmured shyly:

"My little En, lost weight..."

On Monday morning, An Xun came to the hospital early in the morning as usual, and when he opened the office door, he was really stunned for a moment.

On the desk, there are neatly sorted cases, next to a bag of bread and a cup of steaming milk.A petite girl with a youthful high ponytail was looking at the bookshelf with her back turned.

Her heart felt sore and weak, and she was in a trance for a moment. She thought it was her little girl who had returned, but even though her eyes were blurred with tears, she could tell clearly that the person in front of her was not Jiang Yien.

When the student heard her come in, he turned around and smiled brightly:

"Hello, Teacher An!"

Renzhuo resumed the intern tutor system. An Xun received the task of teaching two months ago. After seeing the students' grades, she did not refuse.Today is the day for interns to report.

It was also today a few years ago that Jiang Yien broke into her icy world.

"Who told you to come in?" She calmed down, still speaking in a cold voice, walked straight to the table, and mercilessly moved the breakfast to the table: "Take this and go out."

"Oh, okay... Teacher, I'm sorry..."

The student panicked and turned around with his breakfast in his arms. He poked An Xun's softness all of a sudden, but she still couldn't help but stop him: "Forget it, remember to knock on the door first when you come in next time."

"Then, breakfast..." The student faltered and took two steps.

An Xun turned on the computer and did her own thing without looking up, and replied calmly: "I don't accept anything from the students, take it back, and don't give it away again in the future."

The student nodded, tightened the bread in his arms in embarrassment, handed over the document, and said jerky: "Mr. An, I am Xu Yueyue, an undergraduate graduate of Renzhuo Medical University. I don't know if you remember me, you I also asked questions in the public class of

An Xun looked up, recalled for a while, and then remembered that it was the student with black-rimmed glasses who asked her if girls were not suitable for development in the Department of Surgery.

On the first day of Jiang Yi'en's internship, he also brought up similar topics. He was so frightened that his hands were shaking, but he still said those ignorant words.Thinking of the small appearance that was bound to confront prejudice and the world, An Xun's heartbeat was messed up for a few seconds.

Seeing that she didn't answer, the student's smile gradually became a little stalemate: "It's okay, I will try my best to let Teacher An remember me! It's just... I am stupid, and I worked very hard to get this opportunity. I also hope that the teacher can do more in the future." Teach me, don't dislike me."

An Xun paused, and flashed in his mind the image of the girl nestled in her arms recalling the first day of internship, with a bit of complaint in her coquettish tone.

"Sister An, you were so fierce at that time, I thought you would take me out like a little chicken at any time! You don't know, I have to be mentally prepared for going to work every day..."

She shook her head, unknowingly, thinking about girls anytime and anywhere has become the norm for more than two years.

At this moment, facing the students who were as old as the girls back then, she couldn't help but soften her heart, and she was more considerate and tolerant of the nervousness and recklessness that was not deeply involved in the world.

She finally smiled slightly, signed the back of the document and handed it back, and told the students gently: "Working hard is not for me to remember you. I will be your teacher in the future. It is my responsibility to teach you with my heart. What's the matter?" Questions, you can come to me at any time. It doesn’t matter if you learn slowly, no one can reach the sky in one step. But if there is a mistake in principle, I think you are not qualified to stay in Renzhuo, and I will also cancel your internship qualification. Understand? ?”

A girl of this age seems to be unable to escape An Xunyan's tenderness and love. Hearing the gentle voice, the student's eyes are also full of admiration.

"Well! I see! Thank you, Teacher An."

An Xun nodded and smiled, watching the back of the student jumping out of the door, and couldn't help but think about her girl.

At the age of 31, the girl broke in silently, and then left gracefully when she was 32 years old. This year, she will soon be 35 years old. The vicissitudes of parting have made her well-maintained eyes have a few ripples .

She is still the iceberg devil that everyone in Renzhuo has heard about, and the softness in her heart awakened by Jiang Yien, but she will never return to her original appearance.

On this year's birthday, An Xun went to the cemetery of her mother and sister as before. What was different, she picked up the violin again. Added a subtle warmth.

After all, their two "first encounters" were all related to the violin.

She used the sound of the piano instead of words, and played a famous song "Swan", which was her mother's favorite during her lifetime.My mother said that she could always hear love and devotion from this piece of music.

"Swan" was also the first piece she played for Jiang Yien. She wanted to encourage that little girl who was bullied by her classmates like an ugly duckling. She wanted to tell her: You are not an ugly duckling, you are that little swan who unfortunately got lost. Born to be different.

Not far away, Chen Nianci was holding a bouquet of lilies, listening to the familiar melody slowly falling into his heart, looking at An Xun's figure playing the violin, weeping quietly.

When she was still at the age of An Xun, her little girl had just won the gold medal in the youth group of an international competition, and she played this song.Her little girl also asked her what emotion she heard.

"Love, and devotion," she said.

The sound of the piano stopped abruptly, and An Xun looked sideways at Chen Nianci, who was teary-eyed, and asked in a low voice, "Professor Chen?"

Chen Nianci wiped away his tears, smiled kindly, and presented the bouquet he had been clutching for a long time: "Why didn't you pull it? I don't even have the heart to interrupt you."

An Xun's eyes followed Lily's, and then looked back at Chen Nianci, and suddenly realized.It turned out that Professor Chen was the flower giver who worked tirelessly day after day, year after year, rain or shine.

Even her father didn't do this. She didn't know what kind of affection it was in exchange for such a long-term persistence.Perhaps, when friendship is deep, it is as unforgettable as love.

"I heard that you and Xiao En broke up?" Chen Nianci still smiled kindly.

An Xun's heart dropped for a moment, and he sighed with a frown between his brows: "It was Su Wen who told you again."

Chen Nianci didn't answer directly, nor did he ask why. Looking at the name on the stone tablet in front of him, he recalled the past:

"When I was your age, I was as stubborn as you. Stubbornness wasted my lover's persistence, and stubbornness also drained my lover's enthusiasm. At that time, I saw that she was having trouble with her family, so I offered to give her freedom. We separated for three or five years, but she never gave me a call, and I never gave up my pride to find her."

"and after?"

"Later, she came back. She came back with a man. Everyone said that they were a man and a woman, and they were a match made in heaven."

An Xun's eyebrows were slightly startled, and his eyes were moist with regret.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have asked so many questions."

Chen Nianci shook his head and said with a smile: "Xiao Xun, this world is too big, anyone can fall in love with anyone. Never use freedom to test love. If she doesn't come back, you don't go to find her. Wait for her next one." When true love appears, you will regret it."

In the old eyes, tenderness like a girl emerged, staring at the tombstone in front of him, the corners of his mouth quivered, and he sighed with tears in his eyes:

"Really, I will regret it..."

It seems to be talking to An Xun, and it seems to be talking to himself.Or maybe, it was to the owner of the tombstone.

Chen Nianci's mournful sigh could not be calmed down in An Xun's heart for a long time.On the way home, she struggled repeatedly, and the foreign man who gave the girl flowers, whom she didn't care about at first, gradually formed an intractable knot in her heart.

She asked herself over and over again, if the girl accepted his confession, would you still be so calm?

Isn't it true that you don't mean what you say when you say that you give girls freedom?

"Sister doctor?"

A soft call interrupted her thoughts, and her pace of wandering aimlessly in the rainy night also came to a halt.Looking up, it turned out that he had already walked downstairs to the shopping mall where he and the girls used to come.

The face in front of him was somewhat familiar, but he couldn't name it.

"I haven't seen you for a long time. Don't your kids drink milk tea?"

Hearing this joke, she recognized the person in front of her as the little girl from the milk tea shop.This joke also made her feel sore, like a stick in her throat.

"she……"

"Exactly, there are two cups of oolong milk tea left today, bring a cup for your little friend!" The little girl took out a cup of milk tea from her handbag, handed it to her, and then hurriedly ran to the station with her hands up to avoid the rain: "Goodbye, doctor sister!"

"Hey! You..." An Xun wanted to stop her, but he had already run onto the bus.

Staring blankly at the milk tea in his hand, he was silent for a long time.Missing Hong broke through the high wall again, and she finally let go of the umbrella in pain, squatting on the ground with her arms around her, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I whispered the girl's name over and over again in my heart, and the pain became clearer and deeper each time.

She admitted it, but she just didn't agree.

Since you haven't come back yet, I'll let go of my pride and go find you.

So, she sorted out the materials overnight and handed over the signature to the embassy.Just after the epidemic, the tourist visa card was very strict, and I had to submit materials three times back and forth, and the visa was not successfully issued until the end of December.

By accident, she hit the New Year's Day holiday, and she bought a round-trip ticket decisively. Excluding the time on the plane, she only stayed in the girl's city for one day.She didn't know what this day would mean to her, she just desperately wanted to see the girl.

She who followed the rules, at the age of 35, who should have been more behaved, in order to get back the lover she pushed away with her own hands, did this thing that everyone thought was crazy.

On New Year's Day, the sky was just dim, and she dragged her suitcase and rushed to the airport. Her hands and feet were freezing cold, and before she had time to relax, she seemed to be tied down by something again. The check-in window was right in front of her. He walked forward, but his steps couldn't move.

She didn't hear anything, she just followed her intuition and looked back.Behind the crowd of people coming and going, the figure of a girl made her eyes freeze instantly.

So familiar, yet so strange.

So close, yet as if thousands of miles away.

In an instant, her heart was beating like thunder, and her breathing was also frozen with her steps. Everything that was surging around her couldn't stop her gaze from gazing at that figure through everything.

It was the one that took her heartbeat away, and it was her entanglement that had haunted her for almost three years.

The girl seemed to be chasing for a long time before she stopped, panting with her chest heaving, and the wind blowing her hair a little scattered.Under the surprised eyes, there seemed to be a little panic, a lump in his throat, hesitating for a long time, and then he walked awkwardly with two large pieces of luggage, and approached her step by step.

The sun behind her rose up little by little, followed her steps, and slowly fell in front of her eyes.

Once again, she brought the sunshine.

"Sister An, where are you going?"

She had imagined the moment of reunion countless times, but she never thought that it would be such an opening sentence.Looking at the person she was thinking about, she tried her best to see her face clearly, but the tears were not obedient and blocked her sight.

She wanted to hug the girl tightly, or say "Welcome home" with a generous and calm gesture with a smile.But the stalemate limbs were motionless, as if only her heartbeat and tears were alive all over her body. In this long-lost reunion, she could only look sad and helpless.

It's just that the girl didn't seem to be going anywhere calmly.The girl asked her suspiciously with a worried expression, just like a child watching a beloved gift about to be snatched away.

Are you scared too?Do you also think that I will leave without saying goodbye?

Silly girl, where else can I go...

"My little friend, I haven't been home for almost three years. I have to go and see if she is doing well..."