come close to me hold me

An Xun organized these words in his mind many times.

After realizing that she has no way to leave the girl, and after realizing that she will still compromise unconditionally when she comes back, she is trying her best to find a reasonable excuse for their love, and trying her best not to become the one who "would rather die alone than stay by my side." dangerous person".

It was also the first time she was disturbed by love. She didn't know any skills, and all she had was that sincere feeling.But she is not stupid, the experience she has learned from her ears and eyes made her understand that if it was not for her unreservedness that happened to meet Jiang Yien's wholeheartedness, she would have suffered a crushing defeat.

vice versa.

What would she do if a girl met someone unkind after leaving her?I'll regret it to the point of being heartbroken to death.

The girl blamed and said, "Isn't this the love you want?", No.She never felt aggrieved and terrible for her humbleness. She was already too strong in her career and life, and she didn't care to be a weak person in her relationship.She is only based on her expectations for a girl in her early 20s whose life has just begun to bloom. She hopes that she will be complete, that she will be chic, and that she will enjoy life without sticking to love and being loved.

She has never had any "wanted love". No matter what kind of love, the "person" is the most important thing, and all she wants from beginning to end is that person.

Just, that you.

When Jiang Yien heard the sudden confession, she was stunned for a moment, and she didn't say yes immediately. She also imagined many plans to pursue An Xun in her heart. It used to be, and it is now, but it was always a beat behind An Xun.

Staring at An Xun, she couldn't take her eyes away for a moment, her lover just looked at her with tears in her eyes, the iceberg beauty that everyone respects at a distance, just like this unreservedly poured tenderness and affection towards her, and loved her unconditionally , willing to be a little woman by her side.Everything about An Xun made her fall so deeply that she almost melted.

She didn't know how such a woman whose heart was as soft as cotton candy supported the image of an unshakable female devil in front of others. The contrast between the former and the latter always made her feel distressed and beloved.

"An Xiaoai, why did you speak first again?"

She pretended to be stern, leaned over with her arms around An Xun, and originally planned to nibble the corner of her lips in retaliation, but she didn't expect that the moment of touching was like an electric current, igniting the long-desolate small forest.She couldn't restrain herself, pecked lightly again and again, kissing deeper and deeper, almost longing to make up for the lack of two and a half years at this moment.

She pressed the remaining warmth on the corners of her lips, and murmured intermittently: "Sister An, I miss you too... My life is not good without you..."

She also said: "Be a lover again, I am willing."

An Xun leaned against the head of the bed, letting the girl ask for it, letting the tears run down her cheeks, why did she always speak first?Because I can't hold on anymore, because I can't lie to myself anymore.

She can hide many emotions, but she can't hide her deep love for girls.

When the kiss was about to sink deeper, she still staggered away, straightened her neckline and got up, choked up and said, "I'll help you put your luggage back."

Then, he hurried to the living room, pushed two suitcases into the girl's bedroom.

Jiang Yien smiled wryly, and followed, watching An Xun anxiously opened the suitcase, took out the contents one by one, and put them back in place, with mixed feelings in his heart.

"Sister An, I lied to you. I have no other place to go. I rented out the old house. I was still worried when I came back. If you refuse to take me home, I will really sleep on the street. .”

The girl's words were like a stone in his heart, which made An Xun's brows tighten, he bit his lip and kept silent, lowered his head and continued to straighten his clothes, tears falling down one by one.

During the tidying up, she touched a few bottles and cans. Even though the outer packages were all marked with vitamins, she still felt something was wrong. She unscrewed the bottle caps intuitively, poured out a few pills and looked at them, feeling a little bit in her heart. , and smelled it in disbelief, eyes filled with panic for an instant, looking at the girl, hesitating to speak.

"It's Paxil. In the first year after I left you, I was ill for a while." Jiang Yien answered her without hesitation. In fact, when An Xun first picked it up, she also panicked a bit, but now, she knows that the more she hides it, The more you want to cover it up, it is better to explain it thoroughly so as not to leave any future troubles.

"You..." An Xun's throat was astringent, and his body began to feel cold, but he couldn't ask a word.

Jiang Yien hesitated for a moment, and confessed on his own initiative.

"In the first year, the house was not well rented, and the academic pressure was great. At the end of the year, the mobile phone was stolen. Because of the epidemic, I couldn't go back to the country. I didn't know when I could see you, so I fell ill. Some I took too much medicine this time and almost died, but don't worry, I didn't do it on purpose, I just can't make it through, and I want to live too much."

"I also learned to swim and practiced free combat. But I still couldn't go into the water to save people, and I couldn't fight three of them."

The more An Xun listened, the more terrified he became. He looked at the girl in disbelief, his whole body was paralyzed, the medicine bottle was tightly clutched in his hand, he couldn't stop shaking, but his words became more and more rigid, and it was difficult to keep his voice low. Tremblingly exhaled: "What happened next?"

"Everything got better in the next two years. The landlord was very kind to me and always brought me delicious food. The professor also treated me equally, and my illness gradually improved. I just missed you, and I haven't recovered."

The girl looked at her and smiled mischievously with a pair of nimble pear dimples.

An Xun closed his eyes and sighed deeply, remembering how he resolutely pushed Jiang Yien away back then, for the sake of his nobility and pride not to bother or contact her, thinking it was protection, but left her alone in the dark, and he was actually in the greenhouse she left behind. Counting fresh fruits and vegetables, listening to the heartbeat, and building a castle to live.

An Xun, what have you done...

She regretted and blamed herself so much that her heart was torn apart, her fists were clenched little by little, and the nails were deep in the palm of her hand, leaving tiny bloodstains.After suppressing it for a long time, he finally couldn't help but slapped his right cheek hard.

However, no clear sound was heard.

Jiang Yien quickly grasped her wrist that was about to fall, and said solemnly and sullenly with red eyes: "An Xun, this is the second time, if you hurt yourself like this again, I'm really going to be angry."

An Xun slowly opened his eyes and looked at the girl, thinking that he had already reached a breakdown, but now he was even more broken than a breakdown.She clutched her chest and leaned over, feeling so much pain that she couldn't control herself: "I'm sorry...I'm sorry Xiao En...I shouldn't force you to break up...Obviously I can take the initiative to contact you...Obviously I will..."

Gradually, weeping uncontrollably.

"An Xun, I didn't tell you to blame yourself. I want you to confess, have you taken good care of yourself in the past two and a half years? Flowers and photos at home, you think you can fool me... you plan to I went out for a long time, but I forgot to take out the garbage. When I entered the bedroom, I stepped on a stomach medicine on the edge of the carpet. Did you overturn the medicine? Are you so painful that you don’t even have the strength to take the medicine? "

An Xun was speechless.

"Admit it, we are all having a bad time. I know grandma will be angry when she sees us like this. But sister An, do you know? I have been abroad for two years, and I have heard many stories. When some people talk about their ex, they just It's as random as counting radishes and cabbages, which one is the most beautiful and which one has the worst temper..."

"I probably also understand what the so-called 'smart and rational' love is. Calculate gains and losses, care about winning and losing, get into the relationship naked, ask for it insatiably, and finally take advantage of it and leave, saying that I am the winner of the relationship. But even the lover If you lose, what will you win?"

Jiang Yien sighed, and embraced An Xunwen who was crying silently, stroked her hair and cheeks, kissed her tears, and comforted her little by little.

"You are not a radish or cabbage, you are not someone I just pick out who suits my taste and stay together. At that time, I felt so proud. I can say in my heart that my ex is the little girl I protect with my life. And she also devoted everything to spoiling me as a child. Even if we were separated, I still couldn't help but love each other. Aren't we better than them? Why do you feel that you are wrong? You shouldn't love like this when you love someone ?"

"Even if it will hurt, even if it will lose, so what? If a person can't fall in love once in his life, how regretful it will be."

The girl's words removed the stone in An Xun's heart little by little.Jiang Xueer's accusation is unfair, her affection is not wrong, and she made the girl fall in love with her without hesitation, and there is nothing wrong with her.Squeezed deep in her heart, the grievance she dared not admit finally surged out, leaning against the girl's arms, covering her mouth and crying.

She recognized the girl's words, and the heart that had struggled to the point of exhaustion was finally truly self-consistent.

Jiang Yien held An Xun's hand, kissed her gently on the lips, carried her back to the master bedroom.Wrapping her in his arms, whispering softly in her ear:

"Sister An, Xiaoen is still your child. Your child has gone home and will never leave again. But now, she is a very good child. She can make her An Xiaoai feel less tired."

An Xun was coaxed into a mess, and the haze and chaos that had been entangled in his heart for a long time really dissipated.The sunshine brought back by the girl was even a bit dazzling, real, and unreally beautiful.

She whispered with a forbearing cry: "What should I do, how can I describe how much I love you..."

Jiang Yien snorted and laughed a few times, and said cleverly: "Let's just say... loving like Jiang Yien loves An Xun is the ultimate."

She wants to kiss away all her brokenness and embarrassment, she swears, she really loves to the extreme, she can't imagine what it will be like, maybe, it will be their future.

"Sister An, I want you..."

An Xun restrained the heat all over his body, and finally found a gap in the girl's eager kiss: "Baby, the curtains..."

It was finally dark in the room, but there was still sunlight that couldn't be covered.So it is the dimness of tenderness, without coldness, and without loneliness.

They are greedy for each other's breath, they are greedy for everything about each other, and the tough flaunting their strength is softened a little bit in the rich love, and the heart that has been wandering for too long has finally found its belonging.

The pointer ticked and turned two scales, the hot air from between the lips and teeth filled the hair on the forehead, and the surroundings were still filled with soft and gentle humming of women, sometimes restrained, more difficult to hold themselves, swaying with the body, in the In the extreme satisfaction, I finally grasped the illusory and illusory to become real.

After a few blissful moments, An Xun finally figured out that the Kong Li behind him was not because he was too intoxicated. Most of his body was already hanging on the edge of the bed, crumbling, unable to change the status quo, and his mouth was already full of energy.

"Xiao En, stop... I'm going to fall..."

"I've already said it, it's landing." Jiang Yien didn't understand, his thoughts were pulled back to the first night he spent with An Xun, he smiled tenderly, still forgetting about it.

"No... I really want to..." An Xun was helpless and powerless, and wanted to say something, but was swallowed by another violent landing, trembling and forgetting the situation, and finally exclaimed "Ah!"

Together with Jiang Yien, rolled up the quilt and rolled out of bed.

Everything came to an abrupt end, and An Xun had counted how many times she was thankful that she had carpeted her home. She was so tired that she could only lie on the ground under the quilt for a while longer.

Jiang Yien stared blankly at An Xun, was silent for two seconds, then sneezed, rubbed his head into his arms in shame, and both laughed foolishly.