bad derailment

Maybe there is such a place in everyone's heart, it will not be very glamorous and perfect, but it contains many memories that cannot be given up, and it becomes a piece of softness deep in the heart.

I think this may be the softness that Jiang Qiushi has been hiding all along.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He relaxed completely, his shirt was slightly agitated by the wind, and he outlined a thin and tall figure, sitting by the railing, looking at the sea below, exuding an unprecedented softness and silence.

"Lin Yao, do you want to hear a story?"

I found it hard to say no, so I nodded, "Yeah."

"When I was young, the teacher assigned an essay titled 'Seeing the Sea for the First Time'. That weekend, all the parents took their children to the seaside. I really wanted to see it, not for writing essays, but To have a legitimate reason to go out with my parents."

I didn't interrupt, and quietly listened to Jiang Qiushi's voice rushing into my ears along with the wind.

"But for my parents, this wish was too extravagant. I saw the sea for the first time when I went abroad in the third year of high school. I didn't have anyone to accompany me. I took a taxi alone. It took 27 yuan to get here from the city. Block. At that time, the driver thought I couldn’t think about it, and walked around the side for a long time before leaving uneasy.”

Jiang Qiushi recalled that time with a faint smile, "In fact, this place doesn't have a very deep meaning, but whenever I encounter any difficulties, I like to come here and stay alone. Isn't this story very boring?"

I listen to these, like listening to a story from a distant time and space.There is another side of Jiang Qiushi who has never been shown to me. The more real him and his life are outlined in the eloquent voice.

"Why did you wait until the third year of high school?" I pursed my dry lips, "Your parents..."

"They have their own set of rules to restrain me, and make choices that they think are good for me, so as to negate all uncontrollable factors. Even if it is just a small request, they are not willing to sacrifice a class time, Take me to do something that I really want to do."

Jiang Qiushi lowered his eyes and calmed down all the bitterness, "Lin Yao, I said that I am not as perfect as you think. On the contrary, the first half of my life was boring. The choice of requirements. I tried to resist, but failed, and then I obeyed. I am just an ordinary person who cannot control my life, and I have even failed more than most people.”

I don't know what to say, any words seem powerless at this moment.Jiang Qiushi seemed to completely let go of the camouflage that he wore on his body, revealing the inside that was riddled with holes in front of me, and all the past was clearly visible.

"I envy you, Lin Yao."

He turned his eyes to me, flashing warm light, and said this sentence to me for the second time, every word accompanied by the vibration from the soul.

"I have always envied you. You can choose the life you want, you can have a real relationship, with Chen Feng, or Gu Mingsheng. But I don't have these choices. From the beginning, my life has been planned layer by layer. I I was afraid that your initiative would disrupt your life, so I chose to escape at the beginning."

Jiang Qiushi laughed at himself. Even with such an expression on his face, he did not look ostentatious, but rather vulnerable and restrained. "Do you feel regretful? I am completely different from what you imagined."

The pain spread from my heart to my limbs. I clenched my fists and couldn't help but want to refute: "This is because of your parents, not your fault."

"Lin Yao, you don't understand."

Jiang Qiushi shook his head, and the voice seemed to come from a far away direction, "From the moment I compromised, these mistakes have been transferred from them to me, they are not innocent, and I am not innocent... Lin Yao , if only I could meet you sooner."

Once again, he murmured this sentence, hiding his deep thoughts into his heart, no one can probe into the bottom of his heart, only he understands the meaning.I faintly touched a corner, and stood there in a daze, with countless possibilities flying by, but I could only grab a hand of clammy air when I stretched out my hand.

why?

What is Jiang Qiushi still hiding?

He didn't allow me to continue to think deeply, turned around and met my gaze, the quiet eyes under the lens contained a reassuring courage, just like him, full of infinite attractiveness, which made me sink.

"But that's a long time ago."

Jiang Qiushi spoke slowly, without those heavy and restrained tones, as if he had completely torn off the last layer of diaphragm that sealed his heart, and a gentle smile curled up at the corner of his mouth.

"Lin Yao, I don't know when I became like this. Maybe a long time ago, when I first realized that I should avoid you, my original construction was slowly collapsing. I am very Don't lie, I have finished telling the few lies with you, now, I just want to tell the truth."

"Meeting you is not in my plan, and falling in love with you is the same."

The heartbeat was fast, one after another in the sound of the wind, as if it was about to rush out of the fragile chest and climb to a farther place.I don't know how to speak, what kind of expression to make, but maybe saying nothing and doing nothing is the best answer.

Jiang Qiushi slightly tightened the hand holding the railing, slowly put it down as if making a certain determination, and walked towards me.

The distance in just a few steps is long and far away. I can't help slowing down my breathing. Every frame in front of me is infinitely stretched and blurred. Only Jiang Qiushi's face is so real and moving.

He has never been so close to me, and even that kiss never gave me such a vigorous throbbing that almost drowned in the aura.

"Jiang Qiushi, do you know what you're talking about?" I asked hoarsely.

He looked at me, "I know every word I said."

I couldn't restrain my impulse, and tried to grasp the last sliver of rationality, "Then what do you mean by the mistakes you once said, don't bother me?"

Jiang Qiushi paused for a moment, his slightly drooping eyelashes did not block the tremor, as if a low, inaudible sigh dissipated with the air.

"Lin Yao, that was the task I set for myself originally, to stay away from you and return to a normal life, but then I found that I couldn't do it."

"Actually, I have been puzzled many times. I don't understand why you are the only one who is different." He stared at me deeply. "Now, I finally know the answer."

Jiang Qiushi has never faced me so seriously and firmly, and his lips and teeth lightly inspired a trembling voice every word, hitting my undefended heart directly.

I couldn't help but want to say something, I bit my lip again and again.

"Is your answer... the one I thought it was?"

I didn't express what I meant, but Jiang Qiushi understood, and he said, "Yes."

All this is like in a dream, hazy, vague, unreal.I don't understand why it's at this time, at this place, to confide like this.

It came too fast, didn't give me a little preparation, disrupted all plans, but was too reasonable to complain.

When I looked at Jiang Qiu, I was speechless.

In the long silence, only the continuous sound of distant waves hitting the beach became the only surging picture under the night sky.The flickering light in Jiang Qiushi's eyes was gradually dimming. After a long time, the flash of indifference finally covered everything else.

He lowered his head, as if he didn't want me to see too many expressions, his voice was deep.

"I understand."

After Jiang Qiushi finished speaking, he twitched the corners of his mouth. When I turned around and was about to leave, I grabbed his arm almost instinctively, tightened it and subconsciously relaxed it.

"Jiang Qiushi."

He turned around, the deep meaning in his eyes seemed to be asking me why, and the image of that rainy night gradually overlapped in his mind until there was no gap.

I couldn't refuse, let alone restrain the temptation, I slowly raised my head and kissed his lips.

First it was rubbing together, and then it was tentatively poking into the tip of the tongue.After a moment of stagnation, Jiang Qiushi gradually quickened his breathing, greeted me jerky, and then held my face in his hands, turning the light taste into a deep kiss.

The breath of his whole body wrapped me gently and forcefully, a hotness spread from inside, and at the moment when he almost suffocated, he finally let go of my lips.

"……Feel sorry."

Jiang Qiushi's voice was slightly hoarse, with a trill that made people blush and heartbeat.Before I recovered, he continued, "Let's go back to the car first, it's not safe here."

I almost laughed, but I held back, and when I got back into the closed car, Jiang Qiu fell silent again.He rarely showed a little hesitation, as if he couldn't speak, and asked in a low voice after a long time.

"Lin Yao, what should our relationship be now?"

Finally, he no longer held his superior calm, and even looked into my eyes uneasily with some tentativeness.Such Jiang Qiushi was unexpectedly real, I couldn't help softening my heart, and deliberately asked: "What do you think? Do you still want to run away after kissing like last time?"

Jiang Qiushi pursed his red lips, seemed to be moved for a moment, and was soon banned by the new reason, looked at me word by word and said, "I'm sorry, I won't do that again."

I didn't expect him to promise so seriously, and I was a little distracted for a while, only the heartbeat in my ears was vivid and trembling, and there was nowhere to hide in this small space.

"Lin Yao." He called out my name slowly.

I haven't recovered yet, "Huh?"

"Can I kiss you one more time?"

Jiang Qiushi said these words softly, looking at me calmly, revealing a touch of warmth under the dim car lights.

My mind was blank, and I couldn't tell whether he was on purpose or not. I nodded slowly, and he slowly approached as if he had obtained permission.The two breaths were entangled with the temptation, Jiang Qiushi lowered his eyes full of deep meaning, and pressed my lips against my body.

The first kiss he took the initiative and dominated.

I couldn't help but relax, hugging Jiang Qiushi's body, the warm skin passed to the other party through two layers of fabric, and I was indescribably addicted to it.The words that Gu Mingsheng said suddenly flashed through his mind-you and Jiang Qiu will not last long.

He does know me well, but maybe he knows me too well and thinks everything too firmly and confidently.

I have never fantasized about being with someone for a long time, whether it is Chen Feng, Gu Mingsheng, or Jiang Qiushi.

There is only a moment of joy in the world, but there is no eternal love.

I've always wanted the former.