bad derailment

It's hard for me to put into words what it's like to be with Jiang Qiushi.He seems to be far away all the time, like a gust of wind mixed with dense rain, and only the moment he touches it can he truly feel his existence.

Warm and distinct.

I can't remember what time I fell asleep.When I woke up in the morning, I was groggy and wanted to find the heat source around me, but the place I touched had been cold for a long time.After waking up for a few minutes, I got up from the bed where there was only one person left.

Jiang Qiushi woke up very early, and when I walked out of the living room, he had already put two glasses of milk and a prepared breakfast on the dining table.Hearing the movement, he raised his head and showed a faint smile, "Morning, come over for dinner first."

I used to sit across from him, and the embarrassment I had just dissipated instantly under his natural behavior, and I couldn't help but become the one being taken care of, "Why did you get up so early, aren't you resting today?"

"I was afraid that you would wake up hungry, so I got up earlier," he looked at me and said, "Is there any discomfort?"

Jiang Qiushi's expression when he said this was not at all reminiscent, but showed serious concern.I couldn't help choking, and stammered, "No."

"If there is any discomfort, please tell me. I don't have much experience, so I don't know if I am doing it right."

In the second half of the night, I was basically in a state of half-dream and half-awake, but I still remember being taken into the bathroom by Jiang Qiushi for cleaning, with delicate and gentle movements.I interrupted the recollection in time, took a sip of the milk to suppress the rising temperature, and couldn't help but joked: "You don't seem to be inexperienced."

Jiang Qiushi did not hide it, adjusted his glasses, and said frankly: "I have checked the information on the Internet before, but the actual practice is still somewhat different from the theory."

The direction of the conversation seemed to be getting more and more strange, and I felt helpless and a little shy, "Mr. Jiang, you don't need to bring your learning spirit into this aspect, okay?"

His hand, which was about to pick up the cup, seemed to pause for a moment, gave a soft 'um', took a sip of the milk, and asked without warning, "What did you call me just now?"

"Huh?" I was dull for a second or two, recalling my last sentence, "Mr. Jiang, what's wrong?"

"No," he said slowly, "I just feel that what you said is different."

"Didn't I call you that all the time?" I said.

"It's different now."

Jiang Qiushi leaned against his chin, his eyes flickered with a touch of clearness, and looked at me, "It sounds good to hear you screaming."

Everything he said was serious, not like love words, but more than love words.I couldn't bear Jiang Qiushi's eyes, I lowered my head to eat breakfast, and suddenly found that he didn't seem to have moved a sip except milk and medicine.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Jiang Qiushi said, "I've already eaten."

This answer is obviously not credible, especially when I watched him prepare the breakfast with my own eyes.But before I could continue to ask, Jiang Qiushi came to me, I raised my head subconsciously, and dropped a kiss on my lips without any warning, the moment I touched it.

The sunlight outside the window is just right, filling the whole room with warm light, and the smile on Jiang Qiushi's lips is also just right, time seems to stop at this moment, and when he stops, his eyes are full of my focus.

"Let's go out for a walk later," he said softly, "The weather is fine, and it should turn cold later."

My mind was blank, and the words I wanted to ask before disappeared from my mouth, replaced by a reply that I didn't want to think about.

"it is good."

In mid-September, sandwiched between the warmth and coolness of autumn, it is a rare enjoyment for people like me who don't like severe cold and heat.But for Lin Nuo, it was the end of the vacation and the beginning of four years of college life.Although we are in the same city, she still sends me messages frequently, talking about new classmates and things around me.

Every weekend, Lin Nuo would come home from school, and sometimes I would go out with friends, and my mother would ask me to take care of her.If the time is late, the task of taking her home will naturally fall on me.

She still complained about this, muttering to herself, why is there still access control when she is already an adult?But complaints are complaints, and on weekends, I am still the first to rush home with my luggage.

Jiang Qiushi's wound has almost healed, and it will completely scab over after a while.In the evening, I made an appointment to go out to eat with him, but because I was going to pick up Lin Nuo's mission later, I ate the meal in a hurry.

It's funny to say that when he was injured, he cooked at home by himself, but now that he is healed, he only thinks of going out to eat.

"Brother, why haven't you brought Little Gu over to play at home recently?"

Walking on the night road, Lin Nuo chatted casually with me while kicking the stones under his feet.The topic changed from schoolwork girlfriends to what I ate just now, and then suddenly jumped to Gu Mingsheng. I paused for a few seconds before catching up with her thoughts.

"He is usually busy with work, so he doesn't have that much free time." This reason is gentle enough and credible, I thought so, and said so.

Lin Nuo seemed to be very regretful, "That's right, Brother Gu is a big star now, so he must be very busy. I still find it incredible that we could go out together often, but now I can only see him on TV suddenly."

I want to say a few words to comfort Lin Nuo, but it seems that I can't even comfort myself.

Lin Nuo continued: "Brother, I told you last time that the senior sister who helped me a lot, she really likes Brother Gu. I want to wait for Brother Gu to come to my house someday, and I can get Sending his autographed photo to my senior, she will definitely be very happy."

My heart suddenly softened, and then I felt a little bit of guilt and shyness, "Okay, I will go get autographed photos after he finishes his work, and ask him to sign ten or eight. Do you want to give it to me?" Anyone can."

"It doesn't take so much. What if someone suspects that I am a fake?"

Lin Nuo couldn't help laughing, stopped continuing this topic, and jumped to other topics.When it was time to part, she suddenly raised her head to meet my eyes, and asked very seriously, "Brother, can I ask you a question?"

I had some bad premonitions, and my heart skipped a beat, "What type?"

"Emotional."

"Kids, don't ask these questions, just change one."

Lin Nuo said unhappily: "Who is a child? I'm already an adult, okay. Even if I go into a relationship now, it's not considered a puppy love, why can't I ask?"

I was choked by her, and said helplessly, "Forget it, I can't tell you what's the problem?" At the end, I added, "But it's too early for you to fall in love now."

She completely ignored the last half of my instructions, and the first sentence went straight to the point: "What is your relationship with Mr. Jiang?"

After the voice fell, I hesitated for a while, and the wind blew through my arms and I trembled for a while, before I found my voice: "Why...you suddenly thought of asking this?"

"It's nothing." Lin Nuo glanced at me secretly, "I think you two are very suspicious."

It took a few seconds to calm down, and I rubbed her head dumbfounded, "What is suspicious? Pay attention to the words you use."

"Suspicious is suspicious. Mr. Jiang never posted photos of his life in Moments before, and the frequency of posting photos has skyrocketed during this period. I still remember that there was a photo of breakfast, and half of your arm was included in the photo!" Lin Nuo complained While avoiding my palm, "You two must have ghosts."

I thought about it, and my first reaction was: "Didn't you delete his WeChat? How can you still see Moments?"

Unexpectedly, Lin Nuo yelled loudly as if he had caught something: "Well, you even know this? Needless to say, I already understand everything."

"What do you understand?" I looked at her helplessly, "Lin Nuo, when did you become so interested in my love life? I didn't know you were so good at gossip."

"Then what's the matter? You are my brother," Lin Nuo murmured softly, "The photo was sent to me by a classmate. They all speculated in the group whether Mr. Jiang was in a relationship. Who made him make it so obvious? Sending photos and writing small essays, I just came here to ask when I saw you in the photos."

I said, "So what if I ask?"

Lin Nuo said, "Then you admit it?"

I did not speak again.

She didn't show any unhappy expression, maybe she had expected the answer a long time ago, only the affirmation from me, the client, was missing.He didn't accuse me of concealing it like last time, and suddenly sighed, "Okay, I understand, then I'll go upstairs first, brother, be careful on the road."

Lin Nuo's appearance of hastily ending the conversation surprised me, "Why are you sighing?"

"I..." Lin Nuo pursed his lips, looked at me hesitantly and then glanced away, "I just feel...forget it, it's nothing."

I felt an indescribable feeling stuck in my chest, and said, "Tell me, I don't mind."

Lin Nuo seemed to have made up his mind, and also seemed to be ready to be criticized by me. He looked desperate, "I just feel that it's a pity. I was ready to treat Brother Chen as my sister-in-law...... No, the family's preparations, but everything happened too suddenly."

As she spoke, she carefully observed my expression and strengthened her courage, "Actually, I think Xiao Chen is very good. Although he is not good at words, he has always paid attention to the feelings of my parents and me during the few days at our house. He is also quietly caring about you. The way he looks at you is really too obvious, and he can't hide it. Fortunately, his parents don't understand this, otherwise you will be finished. I don't think that Teacher Jiang is bad, but I feel Brother Chen...it's a pity."

I moved my lips, did not speak, and responded with silence.

"Brother, don't take it to heart," Lin Nuo said quickly, "I'm really just talking about my feelings casually, no matter who you are with, I will support you!"

"I know."

I lifted my lips and smiled, avoiding the topic, "You go up first, Mom will probably come to me again later to ask me to take responsibility."

Lin Nuo nodded, and walked up the stairs step by step.I stood there for a moment, then turned and left.

Jiang Qiushi sent a message half an hour ago asking where I was.I lowered my eyes and typed a reply to let him not worry.

Jiang Qiushi: Do you want me to come pick you up?

: No, I'll be home soon, you have a good rest.

The other end was quiet for a moment, and replied: Be careful on the road, good night.

I replied 'good night', these two words seemed to press the suffocation in my chest, I hurriedly closed the chat page with Jiang Qiushi, and took a taxi to go home.

Lin Nuo didn't know much, she was just an outsider, telling the facts from her own point of view, but the more she was like this, the more cruel she seemed.

I can't be with Chen Feng, it's not that I don't want to, it's not that I don't want to, but I can't.

The feeling for him was locked somewhere in my heart, and it subsided completely after the turbulence.I thought it was 'thorough', but it seems that as long as there is an introduction, a memory, that feeling will come back up like a tide of suffocation.

In the community at night, every household is lit with bright lights.The evening wind was a bit chilly, I quickened my pace and walked towards the corridor, skipping the cars parked on both sides, glanced casually, my pace gradually slowed down, and stopped at the same place.

Just like what Zhao Quan said, this is a license plate that you will never forget once you glance at it.From the vicinity of the company to the downstairs of my house.

This coincidence sounded the alarm in my heart. I wanted to get closer to confirm, but felt that this approach was not good. I could only look back at the quietly parked car and walked into the corridor feeling uneasy.

The sound of footsteps on the concrete stairs was not heavy, one after another coincided with the beat of the heartbeat.Maybe it's really a coincidence, I'm just thinking too much.

The voice-activated lights turned on step by step, and I took out the key and walked to the last floor.The old light bulb flickered on and off, illuminating the corridors on both sides. The key in my hand fell to the ground with a crisp sound, as if the string had been completely broken at this moment.

Chen Feng sat on the other side of the stairs, his eyes were dark, and he looked at me deeply and deeply. The lamp on his head cast a shadow on his slightly thin face, which complemented the dark light in his eyes, flowing in silence. A touch of depression.

I couldn't make a sound, he didn't speak, and the voice-activated lights dimmed in the silence.In an instant, I could only see the outline of Chen Feng sitting in the darkness, which gradually overlapped with the image deep in my memory until there was no gap.

"You're back."

His voice was hoarse and loud.After falling, the corridor was once again filled with bright lights.

This time, what flashed in his eyes was no longer silence, but palpitating nostalgia.