Morbid domestication

This is my sixth day waking up in this bedroom.

My name is Xu Tangyi, I have amnesia, I have a lover who loves me very much, his name is Feng Jue.

I left the bedroom on time at 8 o'clock. When I went downstairs, Feng Jue was sitting at the table in the restaurant on the first floor. There was a cup of steaming coffee beside him, and an IPAD in one hand, looking at him intently. something.

As if he heard me going downstairs, he put down the IPAD in his hand, looked at his watch again, and then smiled and said to me: "Morning, Xiaoyi, you are very punctual today."

I hooked the corners of my lips and called out politely: "Sir."

I pulled out the chair and sat down quietly across from him, but I was thinking in my mind that I didn't really want to be on time, but I was tired of being urged every day.

Feng Jue seems to be in a good mood today. Seeing me sitting down, he picked up the chopsticks at hand, picked up a shrimp dumpling from the hearty breakfast in front of him, and put it on my plate.

"Taste." He said softly.

"Thank you." I thanked first, then picked up the shrimp dumplings on the plate in front of me, and chewed them slowly in my mouth.

"Do you like it?" Feng Jue asked, and answered in a self-centered manner: "You used to like it very much."

I didn't speak, just nodded.

The taste of shrimp dumpling is really good, do I like it?I have no idea.

But Feng Jue said yes, if I said I didn’t like it, then I might only have shrimp dumplings for breakfast every day until I said I liked it.

Because I liked it before, I like it now.

I remembered that I didn't wear the white shirt that Uncle Zhang had prepared for me the day before yesterday, but put on a more comfortable sweater that I dug out from the closet.

I still remember that when Feng Jue saw me in the sweater, his smiling face slowly faded away.

"How do you wear this?" When Feng Jue asked me this question, there wasn't much expression on his face, it was hard to say what kind of emotion he would be in.

At that time, I just tugged at the clothes on my body casually, and replied indifferently: "It's nothing, I just think this is more comfortable to wear than a shirt."

Feng Jue stopped talking.

Thinking about it now, Feng Jue's expression at that meeting should have been dissatisfied.

Because when I got up the next day and wanted to wear it again, I found that all the sweaters in my closet were gone, and only various shirts were left, of which white shirts still accounted for most of them.

"Xiao Yi, familiar things will make you think of the past faster." Facing my question, Feng Jue explained it like this.

When he said this, his voice was gentle, and his eyes were still full of deep love for me.

I can't argue with that.

I'm full of confusion, I don't understand if this practice is really useful, and this slightly compulsive behavior makes me uncomfortable, but I have no right to say no, I have no memory, and all I have now It was provided by Feng Jue.

What's more, he is in the name of loving me.

Does Feng Jue love me very much?The eyes that are always obsessed with me tell me that he loves me.

But that kind of love feels like looking at flowers through the fog to me. Do flowers exist?It exists, but it always makes people feel trance and unreal.

Seeing that I ate the shrimp dumplings, Feng Jue's expression softened a bit. He looked at me and said, "Xiao Yi, let's go to the garden for a stroll."

What he used was not a question, but a statement. I thought I had no room to refuse, so I stopped what I was doing and asked.

"Aren't you going out today?"

"The work is over, I can stay with you at home today."

When Feng Jue finished speaking, the expression on my face froze for a moment, but I quickly adjusted and nodded to him naturally.

Being with Feng Jue will always make me nervous, even though my reason tells me that the other party is my lover who has been in love for three years.

But when lovers are together, there will inevitably be some intimacy, but I have amnesia, so the touch of Feng Jue will make my body tense, and I will always avoid it unnaturally.

And whenever I dodged, Feng Jue's eyes, which were originally full of love and tenderness, always showed a trace of sadness.

I know that he is sad because of my dodge, but apart from my heart full of guilt towards him, I really can't force myself to respond.

After dinner, I followed Feng Jue to the tulip garden next to the villa.

Now is the flowering period of tulips. The white or pink tulips, as if afraid of not being able to catch up with the summer, bloom gorgeously and grandly in the April weather.

I followed Feng Jue, slowly passed through the sea of ​​flowers, and finally stopped in the small pavilion in the middle of the garden.

Feng Jue motioned me to sit down on the large white swing frame in the center of the pavilion. After I sat down obediently, he sat beside me and naturally stretched out his hand to pull me into his arms.

His actions were taken for granted, and before I could react, I was already trapped in his embrace full of his breath.

When I felt Feng Jue's scorching body temperature, my brain shut down instantly.

To be honest, in the few days since I woke up, it was the first time for Feng Jue to touch and hug me besides the occasional intimate touch.

I wanted to get up reflexively, but this time Feng Jue didn't let go of me as usual, but held me rather forcefully, making my struggle a bit difficult.

"Xiao Yi, can you let me hug you for a while?" Feng Jue's voice was a little low: "I miss you very much."

His voice was obviously sad, and my movements were slightly stagnant. After a moment of silence, I still leaned obediently on his body, but my body was as stiff as a straight piece of wood.

The weather in early April was not too hot, but he was only wearing a thin shirt. Through the thin layer of clothing, I unexpectedly felt his hot body temperature. After it calmed down, my breath was sealed. The body smell is full.

It was hard to tell whether it was perfume, laundry detergent, or his own smell. It might have both. The fragrance smelled the same as him. Although it was weak, it had a strong sense of presence.

In the sea of ​​flowers, the swing, the two people who depend on each other, this kind of romantic scene, if we love each other, the atmosphere should be very warm.

But I was only embarrassed, and the smell and body temperature of his body made me even more embarrassed. In addition to embarrassment, I was also a little nervous.

One of Feng Jue's hands was gently stroking the top of my hair, which made my scalp numb for a while, making me want to tremble uncontrollably.

I don't know if Feng Jue didn't notice my stiffness, or he didn't care at all, he just continued to move his hands and spoke to me.

"Xiaoyi, when I first saw you, you wanted to be like this, wearing a white shirt, sitting in a garden full of tulips."

He didn't speak quickly, but because we were very close, every time he said a word, the warm breath would brush against my cheeks, and my skin couldn't help being aroused to tremble.

"—You were holding a book in your hand at the time, and you didn't know what you read, and you kept smiling."

His tone was unusually gentle. Although I couldn't see his expression, I instinctively felt that his expression at the moment should be soft and relaxed.

"At that moment, I was thinking that a good little prince like you should be held in my palm and carefully raised at home."

I didn't speak, in fact I didn't know what to say because I don't remember anything.

Do not remember how to meet him, do not remember how I love him.

I think if I were Feng Jue, my lover would forget everything, and I would be very sad. Thinking of this, I feel a little guilty, because I feel guilty for not being able to repay him with the same feelings.

After a while, I whispered, "I'm sorry."

Feng Jue didn't speak, and he smiled after a while, he smiled very lightly, but I leaned on him, and I could still feel his chest vibrating slightly with the movement of his laugh.

"It's okay, everything will be fine," he said.

Afterwards, none of us spoke, just sat on the swing like this, the sun in early summer was not too hot, it was very comfortable to shine on people, the breeze was warm, the fragrance of flowers was sober, and the atmosphere relaxed a lot.

I thought about it and asked the question I had been wanting to ask for a few days ago.

"Sir, did I have any savings before?"

The air instantly became quiet, and Feng Jue's stroking me also stopped.

I sensitively sensed that something was wrong with the atmosphere, I hesitated, sat up straight from his arms, and then tried to show him a harmless and natural smile.

"need money?"

Feng Jue looked at me quietly, his eyes were deep, making it hard to understand his emotions.

"Well, I want to buy a mobile phone." I couldn't help touching my nose, and said with some embarrassment.

There is everything in the villa, and there are many recreational facilities, such as a gym, a video room, and even a dedicated game room.

But none of that gives me an idea of ​​the outside world, so I've been wanting a phone for days.

"What? Bored?"

I don't know if it's my illusion, but I feel that Feng Jue's voice suddenly became much colder.

"It's a little bit." I couldn't help but be cautious when I said it.

In fact, I don't have much free time every day. On the third day after I woke up, my life was almost arranged.

When to get up, when to eat; what to do today, what to do tomorrow, although there is no clear form for these things, Zhang Bo always reminds me when to do things like a shadow.

Although I want to resist from time to time, every time Zhang Bo will warn me with a smile: "This is arranged by my husband."

"The doctor said that getting more in touch with your past will help your recovery."

All right.It's reasonable, it's all for my own good, and it's a doctor's order. I can't find any words to refute it.

I can do these things, but I wonder if I can have a mobile phone and learn about some outside things in my spare time.

Strange to say, although I have lost my memory, I just know that a mobile phone is something that can communicate with the outside world.

Thinking of this, I mustered up the courage to look at Feng Jue again, wanting to ask again: "Sir, you can..."

"I have arranged a piano teacher for you, he will be there in the afternoon, you can follow him to familiarize yourself with the piano." Feng Jue interrupted me calmly.

"What?" I don't understand why Feng Jue suddenly told me this.

"You used to know how to play the piano." Feng Jue said concisely.

I instantly understood what he meant.

Feng Jue stood up, straightened his clothes casually, glanced at me lightly and said, "Go back."

I wasn't talking, and I didn't mention the request to buy a mobile phone just now.

When going back, Feng Jue walked in front and didn't look back at me.

Feng Jue was angry.

Although he will still talk to me, and will still help me pick up vegetables at lunch, there is no displeasure on his face, but I just know that he is angry.

Because I was keenly aware that the scorching temperature in his eyes was missing when he looked at me.

This will make me feel that in his eyes, I am no different from Zhang Boli and Aunt Zhang in the villa.

I began to feel uneasy.

Although I don't want to admit it, there is a trace of reliance on Feng Jue in my heart. He is the first person I see when I wake up. He treats me very well, and he is my lover in name.

In this villa, he is also the only person I can communicate with on a daily basis.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, the piano teacher that Feng Jue had arranged for me arrived. When Uncle Zhang came up to tell me about it, I was just holding a few paintbrushes and smearing randomly on the canvas.

Painting is also required by Feng Jue.

After returning from the garden, Feng Jue said to me: "Xiao Yi, go to the studio, I want to see you draw."

The tone is still gentle, and it still doesn't allow me to resist.

When Uncle Zhang told me to go down, I was really relieved. The messy lines and weird colors on the canvas hurt my eyes.

I think I really don't have the talent to draw, but Feng Jue wants to see it, and he wants to see it, so I have to draw.

With a sigh of relief, I threw the paintbrush aside, got up and followed Uncle Zhang downstairs.

Feng Jue was also downstairs. He changed into a dark shirt, and wore a pair of gold-rimmed glasses on his tall nose. He looked sharp.

At this moment, he was sitting on the sofa, talking to the man on the opposite sofa. I didn't hear exactly what they were talking about, but Feng Jue's tone was indifferent.

Uncle Zhang walked over and stood at the side, bowed to Feng Jue as a gesture, and said in a respectful tone: "Sir, Mr. Xu has arrived."

The two stopped talking and looked at us together.

Feng Jue had a serious face just now, but it suddenly softened when he turned to me.

Is he not angry?Thinking this way in my heart, I greeted him politely and called out, "Sir."

Feng Jue nodded slightly to me, the warmth on his face grew stronger, and his voice of calling my name softened: "Xiao Yi."

I couldn't help but meet his gaze, Feng Jue was looking at me gently, seeing me looking at him, he naturally twitched the corners of his mouth, and his eyes were warm again, as if he had returned to his previous appearance.

"Come and sit." He beckoned to me.

I obediently walked over and sat down beside him not too far away.

Feng Jue naturally took my hand and squeezed it lightly, and asked, "Are you tired after staying in the studio for so long?"

My hand was pressed gently by Feng Jue's calloused hand, and I felt a scorching heat creeping up my arm from where he touched, making my cheeks a little hot,

I looked at the person opposite me with some embarrassment. It was a man in his 30s, with a refined appearance and a gentle temperament. He was looking at me and Feng Jue with a smile at the moment. I think he should be the piano teacher.

I avoided the man's gaze and whispered to Feng Jue, "I'm not tired."

I'm still not used to being so intimate with Feng Jue, especially in front of strangers.

I wanted to withdraw my hand, but Feng Jue held it very tightly.

Although I don't want to admit it, I have been feeling uneasy since the morning, and after being pressed and pressed by the seal formula, most of it has dissipated.

I think, although Feng Jue's desire to control is a bit strong, he should still love me.