Cheng Linyu

Did not come.

After a while, a message from Su Meng's mother came.

Su Meng's mother: The elder brothers Su Meng mentioned are all from their dance class, and they are all twelve or thirteen-year-old children. Everyone is actually playing around.

Then, no matter what Qi Mulin sent, Su Meng's mother stopped replying.

Qi Mulin pursed his lips and looked at the phone screen. To be honest, he couldn't listen.

Qi Mulin: No matter what, there are some things you should teach Su Meng

After Qi Mulin sent the message, he threw the phone aside, then collapsed on the bed, and sighed deeply.

Shen Yicheng raised his hand and touched his head, "Do you feel uncomfortable?"

Qi Mulin didn't move, just stared blankly at the ceiling.

It was silent for a few minutes, "What can I do. I'm not the savior. I can't even do myself well, so what right do I have to control others."

Shen Yicheng looked at him, but didn't speak.

On the afternoon of the rest day, Qi Mulin hesitated, took out his mobile phone, and called Qi Wei.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I'm fine, I just wanted to call you."

"Well. Is there no class today?"

"Well. Rest today."

"How are you doing there?"

"It's okay. Except when I'm busy in class, it's actually okay at other times."

"Well. I didn't ask you before. You are not a regular teacher, are you?"

"It doesn't count."

"Your sister also took the teacher test before."

"Ah."

"If you want me to say, you might as well be a teacher when you come back home. This kind of serious teacher is definitely more stable than yours."

Qi Mulin frowned and didn't speak.

"I'm talking to you."

"Ah."

"Don't just say yes. You said what good is there for you to be outside alone. At this age, you don't even have a girlfriend. When your brother was your age, he had children. "

Qi Mulin took a deep breath and didn't speak.

"I didn't care about you before. Now you have graduated. These things have to be considered. Do you know?"

"Dad, I sent 5000 yuan home last month, did you receive it?"

"... Received... I'm telling you something serious. Don't talk about it elsewhere. The family is not short of your money."

"When I came out, we had already agreed. Why do you say this again?"

"That's because you've already found a job without saying a word. What can I do?"

"In any case, you agreed. Besides, I'm fine now."

"It's good. There is food and shelter. With your little salary, what else can you do?"

"..."

"Let me tell you, you are my son. After I gave birth to you, no matter what you do in the future, you have to guard me."

Qi Mulin tightly pursed his lips and did not speak.

"Dad, it's okay, I'll hang up first."

"...All right." After finishing speaking, Qi Wei hung up the phone directly.

Qi Mulin frowned, staring at the phone without speaking.

In fact, this is not the first time they have quarreled on the phone because of this kind of thing.

Qi Mulin's brother is five years older than him, their relationship can't be said to be bad, but it's not bad.Usually not much contact.After graduating, his elder brother also worked outside for a few years. Later, he didn't know what Qi Wei said, but he wanted to do it himself. He quit his job and went home some time ago.

After Qi Mulin's brother came home, the phone calls between Qi Mulin and Qi Wei either started awkwardly and ended awkwardly, or, no matter what they said, Qi Wei would transfer to let Qi Mulin go home.

No matter what mood Qi Mulin started the call with, he would not be in a good mood when he hung up the phone.

Qi Mulin sighed deeply, and suddenly wanted to sing.

So, when Shen Yicheng entered, Qi Mulin was holding the guitar.

"I recalled your white hair on the temples countless times, and your hysterical insults; I can't recall your appearance when you smiled, but you don't seem to have criticized me..."

Shen Yicheng looked at Qi Mulin's expression, listened to his lyrics, and frowned, as if he could understand why he sang such a song.

"Sometimes I will split into two, the one who loves you condemns the one who hates you..."

Qi Mulin didn't expect to cry, but the tears still flowed down slowly.

He himself began to dislike himself.

These days, he almost shed all the tears he had saved over the years.

"I never hated you. I also know that you loved me. I miss you and reject you..."

"I hope you live better than me. I hope you love me and let me go..."

With the sound of the guitar gradually falling.

The only sound left in the room was Qi Mulin's sobbing.

Shen Yicheng looked at Qi Mulin quietly, and slowly put his arms around his shoulders, holding him in his arms.

After a while, Qi Mulin chuckled and said slowly, "I shouldn't be singing this song."

Shen Yicheng remained silent.

Qi Mulin calmed down a bit before speaking.

"Maybe it's because of what happened some time ago. Recently, I always think of my parents. In fact, when I'm outside, I don't want to let myself think of them. Because when I think of them, I feel very uncomfortable."

"I have lived for more than [-] years. As far as I can think of, their care for me is really very little. However, it is these very little care that make me infinitely blame myself. Feeling indifferent I don't deserve to be a human being at all. However, whenever I feel guilty, they can use some behaviors to wear away my self-blame... I am really uncomfortable. I don't want to be an unfilial person. But, for my When they think, why can't they think for me. Every time I see my dad's white hair on the sideburns, I want to slap myself. But in the next second, what he says and does can make I feel sick and want to vomit. Do they love me? Love me...why do they treat me like that if they love me...can't they think about me..."

"Mu Lin...Mu Lin! Don't think about it, don't think about it..."

Qi Mulin desperately eased his emotions.

Seeing that Qi Mulin had calmed down, Shen Yicheng said, "Did you call your dad again today?"

When Qi Mulin called a few times before, Shen Yicheng was also there.

Qi Mulin nodded when he heard the words, "He said he wanted me to go back."

"What's the reason for this time?"

"Nothing. No girlfriend yet."

Shen Yicheng was quiet for a moment when he heard the words, and then said slowly, "Then why don't you find a girlfriend?"

Qi Mulin buried his whole face in Shen Yicheng's arms, and after a while, he said sullenly, "I like boys."

◎The author has something to say:

I feel that this part of the writing is a bit fragmented...

Mu 0: I like boys

1 Cheng: Isn’t it a coincidence?

I really only recently discovered that the names of these two are like this