Strange disease

I have always thought that the innkeeper is a very magical profession.

You will meet all kinds of people, watch them take a break with you, but also witness people come and go, and leave in a hurry. No one will stay permanently.

Being in it, but also being outside it.

Like a disc, it faithfully records every hasty journey and strange faces, where they met and lived a life of thousands of people.

The short but meaningful past between Xi Rong and I seems to be engraved in this old and elegant wooden house, slowly opening as the door opens.

After my parents passed away, I was studying alone in this city without a home, so winter and summer vacations were holidays for others, but torture for me.

Before the summer vacation, my classmates and roommates began to pack their luggage and drag people around to help grab train tickets. I was like a bystander who was completely isolated from the bustle, and I was alone and deserted.

Although Xi Rong is willing to take care of me, and I often find excuses to spend weekends at his house, but I am an outsider to him, and there is no reason to spend the whole vacation at his place.

Especially after I found out that I had extraordinary thoughts about him, I became more and more worried about annoying him, and watched his face more carefully in everything, for fear that he would kick me out if he was unhappy. It was a stillborn baby, and I couldn't cry when the time came.

So in the summer vacation of my junior year, as in previous years, I applied to stay in school.

It’s just that as soon as the exam was over, my roommates flew away like migratory birds eager to migrate, and I was left alone in the huge dormitory, and there were several times more space to be cleaned out of thin air.

It took me several days to clean up the empty dormitory, but I didn't know if I had sucked too much dust. After a few days, my throat felt uncomfortable and I always wanted to cough.

I told Xi Rong that I found an internship, so that I wouldn't have nothing to do during the holidays. As it turned out, the air-conditioning in the office was also extremely high these days, so I caught a cold completely without any surprise.

I'm a bit unmotivated, and the actual job of this internship is not the same as what was promised in the previous interview. Maybe it's because the company is in the off-season. courier and such.

I really felt that it was a waste of time, so I resigned from my boss. Anyway, as an intern, I was just paid a dead salary of 100 yuan a day, and there was no strict labor contract. If I really want to leave, the boss can't stop me .

I quit my job, and I slept in the dormitory in the dark for a few days. I don’t know the day and night. Anyway, I either ate or lay there, and my life was quite decadent. Sometimes when I opened my eyes, it was already dark, so I just went to the small shop at the door to buy bowls Fill your stomach with instant noodles.

I didn't tell Xi Rong about my resignation. He thought I was still at work and rarely bothered me, because I told him that sometimes I would have dinner with my colleagues at the company late after get off work, so that he didn't have to wait for me. , This has been the case for the past few holidays, and he should be used to it.

Sometimes the two of us can't speak a word for a day, after all, there is nothing to talk about--

Only I will send him a good night before going to bed at night, and he will not reply to me in a high probability. The phone usually only receives a word "morning" at six or seven o'clock the next morning.

After working so hard for a few days, relying on the strong resilience of young people, I am almost healed, but when I am lazy for a long time, I don’t want to move anymore. I originally wanted to find another internship, but it took a week before I even had a resume. Didn't vote, just wasting time in the dormitory every day.

Old Master Meng said, "Be born in sorrow and die in peace", which is really true. Recalling the two years when my mother just passed away, I was in financial difficulties, and I was full of fighting spirit in desperate situations. At that time, I was working two jobs a day. Not too tired.

Up to now, I have saved a little money, and I won’t starve to death on the street. No, I’ll get back to my original shape in one go.

When people are bored, they tend to think about things. I don't have any other hobbies, but I like to think about Xi Rong.

One day, I lay paralyzed on the bed, stared at the empty ceiling and thought carefully about my success rate of chasing him, and finally came to the conclusion helplessly, based on what I knew about Xi Rong, he was a solid iron plate, hard to climb. The iceberg, commonly known as - "impossible" difficulty.

I can't even imagine the way Xi Rong is tempted by someone, or the way he is tempted by me.

But having said that, I am still not reconciled, as if there is a caterpillar crawling around in my heart, it makes me itchy, I always want to try, maybe... I will really take him down ?

This dangerous idea grew more and more in my heart as time went by, until it almost occupied my whole mind, making me ready to move, I was like a demon, my eyes were full of Xi Rong's face when I opened and closed my eyes, Xi Rong's appearance, Xi Rong's voice... This caused my bedside tissues to be consumed faster than ever during that hot summer.

Later, during the ensuing sage time, I often had some extremely pessimistic thoughts——

It's so miserable, I can only support myself, but what can I do.

I can't sleep with him again.

There was even a night when I was at a critical moment when I couldn’t get up and down, and the phone beside the bed rang suddenly. I was startled, and I glanced subconsciously, only to see the flickering screen of the phone in the dark. Two words are clearly displayed.

"Xi Rong"

Then I don't know where the impulsiveness came from, and I immediately messed up my hands very disappointingly.

I panted for a few seconds before pressing the answer button with trembling hands.

"Hello?" I asked hoarsely, "Xi Rong, what's the matter?"

His deep voice fell to my ears through the faint sound of electricity, as if an invisible hand swept across my cheek, making me unconsciously heat up: "What's wrong with you? Your voice is so muffled?"

My heart skipped a beat. I was afraid that he would notice something, so I sniffed to hide it, and then said softly, "I have a cold."

He asked again: "Where are you? Dorm?"

I said "hmm": "It's okay, it's getting better soon, and it's not serious."

We chatted briefly, and he hung up the phone.

Now I have to think twice about every word I say to Xi Rong, for fear of making some mistakes and deducting points from him. I don't know where to put my tongue.

I put down my phone and sighed.

I secretly blamed myself for not being able to live up to expectations, why didn't I know how to talk to him more, to cultivate and cultivate feelings...

However, I am not a person who is good at finding topics by nature. Although I want to chase him in my heart, I don't know anything about this knowledge. It's like a blank sheet of paper. I really don't know what to do and where to start. .