Strange disease

A week later, Song Huan finally got out of the dangerous infection period and was transferred to the general ward.

I was very happy to hear the news. Xi Rong was at work at the time and was too busy to leave, so I bought a fruit basket at a small market near my home and hurried over to visit Song Huan alone, but completely forgot one thing, I It can't, and shouldn't, appear in front of his eyes.

At that time, I entered the ward in a hurry. The moment Song Huan saw me, his whole body froze, with an expression on his face that he was about to die.

I suddenly realized that something was wrong with me.

I feel sorry for him a little bit, he finally walked through the gate of hell, at least he just woke up, he was so scared by me that he almost fainted again, this is really too miserable.

Don't he think that he has already ascended to heaven, so he can see the "I" who has already died, right?

Seeing him roll his eyes, I hurriedly shouted: "Hey! Brother Song, Brother Song, you can't do it!"

Brother Song almost didn't catch his breath, he stared straight at me, his eyes almost popped out, and "Who am I and where am I" was written brightly on his whole face.

The atmosphere was a bit awkward, and it seemed impossible for me to quit now. Song Huan seemed to finally regain his senses, and lay on the hospital bed with a soul-stirring voice and shouted at me: "Little Ruan, it's you!" ah?"

It's really me, surprise or not.

I feel I am obliged to clarify.

"I just came to see you, and I'm relieved to see that you're all right." I said, "Oh, don't get me wrong, although I'm completely cold, you're not dead yet."

I don't know why, but after I finished saying this, Song Huan got even more of an expression of wanting to go away.

"."

fine.

I fully understood that he needed some time to digest this startling news, so I thoughtfully retreated and closed the door, intending to wait until he regained consciousness before entering.

As for why I didn't leave immediately, but insisted on staying here, it's entirely out of my little selfishness.

I silently apologized to the poor brother Song who was still lying there covered in tubes, but I really felt sorry for him.

10 minutes later, Song Huan stared at me who had re-entered the ward, and felt that his whole worldview had received a second shock.

"..."

I smiled dryly and shook the fruit basket in my hand: "Brother, do you want some fruit?"

Song Huan turned his neck mechanically: "Are you still there?"

"Yes." I nodded, "I said I'm here to visit you."

He seemed to get agitated suddenly, and he grabbed my skirt with his hand hanging on the side: "Ruan Li, answer me, you are really Ruan Li, are you kidding me?"

"Hey, Brother Song, don't worry, speak slowly if you have something to say." I was afraid that he would tear open the wound that hadn't fully healed, so I hurriedly said, "It's me, I'm not going anywhere, we are the only ones in this room anyway. Two people, I understand that you must have a lot of doubts now, what do you want to know, just ask, I know everything."

After uttering a series of words, he finally calmed down, and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that this was really the most daring thing I have ever done.

"...Only one point." I paused, "Please don't tell Xi Rong about our conversation today...Brother, even if we were half friends in the past, please help me with this." Busy, don't let him know, okay?"

Song Huan looked at me with complicated and unspeakable eyes: "That day..."

He breathed a sigh of relief, and then struggled to organize his words: "Xi Rong told me you were back, I thought he was joking."

"So... is it true? You were there at the time, right? He knew you were back? He ran into you?"

I closed my eyes and nodded.

Song Huan opened his mouth, it seemed that he didn't know what to say first because he wanted to say too much at the same time.

"then you……"

"what are you thinking?"

"I..." I froze for a moment, I thought he would first ask me how I survived, but I didn't expect him to directly ask the question I didn't want to answer.

"He's like this...I can't go away." I whispered, "I'm very worried about him."

Song Huan took a deep breath, as if he understood something, he said: "Ruan Li, you... you are indeed dead, right? Then what are you... now? Forgive my offense, I really don't know what to do describe."

I waved my hand very understandingly, expressing that I didn't mind at all, and tried to summarize the situation in the simplest terms that normal people can understand.

"I'm dead. It should be more than a year ago. You can think that I'm a 'ghost' now. I don't know why I came back, but I may...can't stay for too long."

After I hesitated to say the last word, Song Huan's complexion suddenly became very bad.

Almost immediately, he asked: "Then to ridicule him..."

Does he know about it.

He didn't finish, but I understood what he was going to ask.

Perhaps even Song Huan, who was a bystander, felt how hard it was to say this, especially how cruel it was to Xi Rong.

I almost bit my teeth and shook my head silently.

I looked at him and begged: "If I suddenly disappear one day, Brother Song, please take good care of him for me, and don't let him... do anything irrational."

"I know this is an unfeeling request, and it's too much trouble for you, but I...but I'm really... worried about him."

I bowed deeply to him.

After a long time, I trembled and stood up, only to see Song Huan looking at me with reddish eyes.

Then, he smiled, a very bitter smile.

"Do you think I haven't tried to persuade him? I've tried to persuade him countless times..." He said with a wry smile, "After you left, he was in a very bad state. He is the kind that anyone can see It’s terrible. If I really want to describe it, it’s the feeling of completely shutting myself in an invisible cage. Before, the Xi Rong I knew was just unreasonable. After that, he didn’t care about anything at all, and he didn’t care about anything anymore. .”

"It's as if you left, half of his soul was also taken away."

"Later, the dean couldn't stand it anymore and asked him to take a vacation for a while to calm down. I was worried. When I went to see him on weekends, he smelled like cigarettes and alcohol as soon as he entered the door. This guy had never touched it before, and he himself thought it stinks." , and then I went in and saw him leaning on the balcony, he told me with a tired face, there was no way, he couldn’t stand it without relying on these, he couldn’t sleep all night, then I didn’t know what to do, I prescribed some tranquilizers for him He gulped down half a bottle like he was eating, but it was useless, so I was so scared that I sent him to the emergency room for gastric lavage."

"During that time, he lost a lot of weight and lost his shape. When I went to his house, he had to lean on the wall when he opened the door for me. Sometimes when I was walking on the road, I was worried that a gust of wind would take him away. He, and then he turned into a handful of ashes and floated over to find you."

My heart feels like being pulled together, and I feel intense pain and sorrow.

"One time, about half a year after you left, I suggested him to go out for a trip, to see the scenery and relax. I thought that after such a long time, he should let it go slowly. At least on the surface, he seemed to be normal. What did he say in the end? He said, it’s useless, let me not waste my time. Whatever he looks at, even a grass or a grain of mud at the door, he will think about how well you are doing down there. I was so angry at the time gone."

"I said, people are gone, why are you so heartbroken? Can you take care of yourself?"

"He nodded, and he was right. He probably doesn't need me to worry about it. Even if I can't get through that hurdle by myself, he probably has forgotten me long ago, but I don't think I can forget him until the end of my life."

"I remember very clearly at that time." Song Huan looked at me and said slowly, "I think he was serious."

"Whether you come back or not, he is ready to lose his life."

I froze there, as if I had completely lost consciousness. I just felt like I was suddenly immersed in hot and cold water from head to toe. I was shivering and burned at the same time. I couldn't breathe or think.

Song Huan let out a long sigh, with deep sadness on his face: "You know what? This accident has changed my mood too much."

"I regret that I didn't cherish the old days and spend more time with my wife and children. My daughter told me last month that she wanted me to accompany her to Disneyland. I was busy with work and kept pushing. As a result, now It may never be possible.”

He said in a trembling voice: "I never thought of it before, once I miss it, I miss it forever."

My heart was bitter, my throat was so dry that I couldn't speak.

When I came here before, I heard from the nurse that Song Huan was lucky this time. He survived, but only survived. His lower limbs could never recover because of the severe damage. In the past, I am afraid that it is very difficult to stand up, and for a long time after that, he may be disturbed by various complications, can no longer engage in high-intensity work, and even lie in bed most of the time and rely on others to take care of him. Like a useless person.

"But how much time do you think people have in a hundred years? All of us will die sooner or later. Even if it wasn't for this accident, the decades of my life will just pass by in the blink of an eye."

"At the end of life, as doctors like us, we have already seen countless people crying and weeping but there is nothing we can do. We regret that we wasted time, wasted life, or didn't cherish the people we love when we were alive, but what's the use of that? ?”

"I watched from the side, and sometimes I felt embarrassed, but I didn't feel much after all. I still had to work overtime. My wife and I quarreled about this matter several times, saying that she felt that getting married was like being widowed. My daughter I never went to her parent meeting once when I went to school, others thought her parents were divorced, and my wife took her all the way growing up..."

"I said I can't help it. It's not that I don't love them. On the contrary, it's because I care about them that I dare not slack off. I'm busy with work, I've always been busy, always think about the future, there will be opportunities in the future, no matter how bad it is, Eleven or twelve years will be enough for us to take care of our lives and enjoy life after retirement."

"I thought there was still a lot of time, I really regret it now..."

"Maybe only if you experience it yourself, you will know the taste of it."

He said: "You...you and Xi Rong, you have to be good."

"At least in the only time you have, don't... leave regrets like me."

I don't know how I ended up getting out of that ward.

I just felt that the whole person was in a mess. I staggered back home and fell headfirst on the sofa.

When Xi Rong came back, I was still curled up there, I heard his footsteps, but I didn't want to move.

He came over, dug me out of the pit, and touched my forehead: "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, indicating to him that I was fine.

Then I found that as soon as I raised my eyes and saw him, the words Song Huan said to me kept echoing in my mind.

Back and forth, over and over again, telling me about the past that I never knew after my death, but I have never seen such a distraught Xi Rong, just hearing about it is enough to break my heart.

I stared blankly at him, and used my eyes to trace this handsome and cold face that I was very familiar with, and there was no trace left over from the past time.

I thought in a daze, he looks so thin, he should not look good.

When my sanity returned, I found that I couldn't help raising my hand, and my fingertips touched his face lightly.

He didn't wait for my reply, and put his palm on the back of my hand. For a moment, I seemed to be able to hear our mutual breathing overlapping and overlapping.

I don't know what expression I have in his eyes at this moment, but he didn't speak, just looked at me quietly.

At that moment, I knew clearly that my heart was shaking, or rather, crumbling.

I want to be near him.

I want to cherish him.

I want to love him well.

Even if no one of us knows, we can still have a few more tomorrows together.