record likes

"It's only been a few months, and each one of them has become like a dog, and I didn't recognize it at first glance." Xiaosan sighed at his PC notebook.

There was very little homework that night, and the next day was a full-day holiday. Everyone was not in the mood to study, and went back to the dormitory from the library early in twos and threes.When Xiao Liu and I entered the bedroom door, we just heard Xiao San's emotion.

"What, what?" Xiao Liu rushed to Xiao San's table to gossip.

"My former classmate, look at this girl's picture." Xiao San pointed to his screen and showed Xiao Liu.I walked over and glanced at it. She was a very stylishly dressed girl. My evaluation is barely decent, because the overall temperament is not good enough. Even if people rely on clothes and hairstyles, the feeling of temperament is still the most important thing for me.

"Oh, so beautiful! Who is it!" Xiao Liu, a dumb kid who has never seen the world, loves to bluff.

"My high school classmates, I have a group photo of everyone in high school on my mobile phone... Ah, I found it, look, these two are the same person!" Xiao San showed Xiao Liu her mobile phone, and Xiao Si also moved over. Went to join in the fun.

"Ah! No way!" Xiaosi and Xiaoliu exclaimed in unison.

"It's a big difference. I just saw her campus homepage, and it took me a long time to confirm that it's really her! Girls have changed a lot since they went to college!" Xiaosan compared her phone to the computer screen, and I could probably see it from a distance. On the mobile phone is an ordinary female middle school student in a school uniform. She has a simple temperament and is a little dull. Although it doesn't look real, I still think so. It is very different from the girl on the computer.

Xiao San is browsing the girl's campus social network homepage. This kind of campus social network seems to be very popular. I have heard of it in high school, but at that time everyone was too busy with studies. Yes, or it is hard not to learn.Although I belong to the class that does not take much effort in learning, I am not interested in this kind of network because I have no friends to add.Stupid bamboo horse is very interested in this kind of network, but he is forced to learn by me, and I am in charge. If he wants to use the computer to play poker, he has to go through several approval procedures.

Now, he already has accounts in these online communities, he has so many good friends, so many friends who play with him instead of looking after him, so maybe he is at home.

I don't like to think about that, it's a sudden emotional downturn because it represents a loss, I lose my power, I'm not in charge anymore.

Before I went to college, I got an account username from my aunt. It is an account of a smart phone network communication software, which can bind a mobile phone number and a computer client, and then contact many friends such as mobile phone contacts and Internet users. .I signed up for that network, and added a lot of new contacts after I came to college for the convenience of sending photos to my parents, but I never added the stupid bamboo horse.

He didn't take the initiative to add me, and I didn't take the initiative to add him. Even though I had his mobile phone number, even though I persuaded myself not to avoid things that I wasn't [-]% sure of, I still avoided them.

Always thinking, wait, wait until I figure out the problem, wait until I regain the momentum of being in control, wait for me... But, it's just an excuse for delay.

The suggestions from the elite senior and the off-line senior belonged to two dominant directions. The words of the elite senior seemed to be more comprehensive, "It is impossible to be with him at all, so don't go to him... Your so-called friendship, people It may not be necessary...", looking at it this way, I think he is leading me to give up exploring "like".

Maybe in his opinion, it's not to persuade me to give up searching for "like", but to stop bothering that stupid bamboo horse.In his judgment, I may belong to the type that can no longer bring happiness to the stupid bamboo horse. My appearance will only disturb his life. We will never be able to return to the era of friendship. Either love or no love, no neutralization the third possibility.

I understand this kind of judgment, indeed, if he still likes me-I think he still likes me, he is the kind of person who doesn't know how to let go in his heart, that kind of fool-but I don't like him, I can't give him thought If I want more love, but still insist on restoring our friendship, then I am a bit of a jerk: I understand his pain, but for my own peace of mind, pour another spoonful of Coptis chinensis soup on his pain, that is simply a vicious crime.

But the premise of Senior Jinghan's exhortation is that I really really don't like him...

do i like itlike?But once refused.dislike?But after the alienation, he was thinking about it and caring about it constantly.Even, this kind of determination to find out "like" for him is the biggest and firmest determination in my life so far.

So, of course, I don't want to alienate him like this, of course, I don't want to "don't go to him".

Contrary to the suggestion of the elite senior is the proposition of the offline senior. After he knew that I wanted to go to the stupid bamboo horse for my birthday, he didn't give me his opinion and advice immediately. Instead, he told me directly one day after the party that the air ticket was not a problem. He has already checked out the 99 yuan special ticket for a certain airline that he booked one month in advance. A friend can help you get a round-trip ticket. As long as I send him my detailed flight information, he will place an order immediately...

I was still wondering that the off-line senior didn't blatantly express his point of view at the first time, and didn't encourage me to start. It turned out that he directly skipped my hesitation and decision-making power as the party concerned, and decided the direction for me... In order not to disappoint The enthusiasm of the off-line seniors also gave me a step down from my worthless hesitation. I handed over 200 yuan to the off-line seniors and asked him to help me get a round-trip air ticket.

After learning about my decision from his lover, the elite senior sent me a message:

You are very similar to his roommates, because both once had the admiration of others, but also rejected the admiration of others.The difference was that it was too late for him to regret it.You can regret it and there is still time.

This message is not difficult to understand. The roommate who gave the offline senior a red rose may have been the object of the offline senior's love at the beginning. He confessed and was rejected, and then the savvy senior appeared and held the offline senior firmly. open.And those who regret it, even if they can still approach and pursue as friends, it will be too late.

No one is obliged to respond to other people's likes, and no one is obliged to wait for someone.Feelings are unreasonable and logical. The only luck that can be prayed for is to be in love with each other at the right time and not miss it.

I replied to the message from Senior Jinghan: Understood!There is no way to repay a great kindness, please use your younger brother to your heart's content.

He replied to me again: then hurry up and grow your skills.

I really appreciate their loving couple.Also more envious.

I did a lot of sexuality tests for myself, not in high school, but after the stupid bamboo horse confessed, after our estrangement, after I wanted to "like", after I came to college... I took out the original exploration of the stupid bamboo horse Sexual energy, to explore my own possibilities, the Internet, books, all the resources I can find, this is the first time to seriously explore myself.I really think that the authoritative tests are not many particularly directional tests, but some guidance tests for gender studies, which analyze and guess people's sexual orientation.From the analysis and research, I should be heterosexual, but I belong to unstable heterosexuality, that is, it is not impossible to accept homosexuality, although the possibility is very low.There are studies in the field of gender studies that believe that a large proportion of sexual orientations are bisexual, and everything is possible, just like a sentence on the Internet, how can you determine that you are heterosexual until you meet someone of the same sex you love.

I'm not interested in what accounts for a large proportion, I'm not interested in the specific definitions of those concepts, I'm not interested in the moral values ​​imposed by some theories... I'm only interested in myself, my own possibility, my own real existence-if something violates The understanding of common sense exists in myself, so I don’t need to wonder what belongs to, and I don’t need to entangle in right or wrong. It’s good to know “existence”, and to recognize it when it exists. Since there is something in the heart, then don’t escape existence.

Desire is a bottomless pit. No one can really let go in the heart. When there is entanglement, there is actually desire. What you can’t get will always bring regrets.I do not like this.

Decided to find the idiot bamboo horse, I felt a little more at ease in my heart, although I also seemed a little at a loss.

It has been more than half a year since the idiot bamboo horse confessed to us, and I finally found a recent photo of him on the Internet and found out more information about his recent situation.

The opportunity was to register on Weibo under the call of the few creatures in the dormitory asking for more fans. I was not interested in simply browsing and adding people I knew, but it suddenly occurred to me that this community is more anonymous than the mobile communication network. Can you find the stupid bamboo horse?I avoided contacting him with my real mobile phone number and campus network, but there will be no embarrassment of confronting him directly, it is completely anonymous, as long as I don't disclose my information, he will never find a fan who quietly follows him.

So I tried to search for his mobile network software user name, but it was indeed found.He has never been good at naming things. He has said before that he may only use one screen name in any online community. Sure enough, he still hasn't changed.

His Weibo has just been registered, and there are not a few of his original posts, most of them are forwarded.But just like this, I also had a great surprise of "discovering him".I can't even tell what I'm happy about.

There was a repost, I guess it was his classmate’s Weibo, the text said it was a party in the dormitory, and the picture showed a group of boys, including my stupid bamboo horse.

He smiled brightly, chatted and laughed with the boys on both sides, hooked their shoulders and hugged each other.

Hehe, the hair has grown, idiot - this is the first thought.

Huh, kind of tanned, dumbass - that's a second thought.

Hehe, the blushing one must have been drinking, idiot - this is the third thought.

"Innocent bastard." That's thought zero and the first sentence.

Sure enough, the ticket was booked right.

On the desk calendar on the table, the date is crossed out by me every day.I circled the date of our birthday. The boss asked me what day it was and why I crossed out a day so carefully, as if I was looking forward to that day.I answered him that although that day was not the anniversary of my birth, it was indeed my birthday, and it was a very important birthday, so I was very cautious.

I rejected the enthusiasm they offered me to celebrate my birthday that day, and told them that I was going to fly to that seaside city to live with the stupid bamboo horse, but they were amazed at the friendship I showed, saying that even if I didn’t live in the dormitory, I would Prepare me a present.Well, earned.

After a long time, the desk calendar was finally drawn to that day.

The off-line senior booked me a flight ticket that departed on Saturday morning and returned on Sunday afternoon. In order to reassure me of the price, he gave me a screenshot to make sure that it was 99 per ticket, showing that he did not advance the money for me.I said that even if you didn't advance the money, the kindness of booking tickets is enough for me to send you a few boxes of liqueur chocolates. He laughed and said that he had written it down, and he would accept it politely in the future, and don't allow me to be foolish.

Thanks to the pajamas, I have already got the address of the stupid bamboo horse, and thanks to the Internet map, I have already figured out all kinds of information about the city, including his school's historical information and school scenery, the best tour routes, etc. Thanks to Weibo, I analyzed his basic work and rest time and the management status of their dormitories from a series of Weibo of his classmates.

It's very strange, I think it should be a stupid bamboo horse who loves to post on Weibo, but always posts some irrelevant things, and very few, such as which small restaurant is delicious, which place is very interesting, and so on content... Although he seems to be very happy, but I know that when he is happy, he doesn't speak like this, or behave like this.He rarely posts unpleasant things on Weibo, and his description of his mood may be posted on the campus homepage, or in the circle of friends on the mobile phone real-name network, in short, where I can't see it.

I booked an express hotel a week in advance, and a cream cake from a well-reviewed pastry shop. The hotel room was booked by phone, and I didn’t pay online in advance. The room was reserved for me until [-]:[-] noon on Saturday. Actually I calculated that if I could live in the dormitory with the loose management of the idiot bamboo horse, I could save one night's accommodation fee, but I can't expect too much in everything to avoid disappointment, so it's best to be fully prepared.

On Friday night, I packed up my simple luggage and slept lightly all night. Before the alarm clock on my mobile phone set at five o'clock rang, I got up, cleaned myself up, and was ready to go.I tried my best to keep my movements light so as not to wake up the roommates, but the boss still woke up. I thought I woke him up, but he said that he had to get up early to go home anyway, so he asked the driver to give me a ride.Although I don't know where his home is, but I am very grateful to the boss for being able to drop him off at the airport, especially since he, who loves to sleep late, really has the perseverance to get up, and he said this to me indifferently.

The idiot bamboo horse said that it is because I have never felt the warmth of friendship that I am indifferent and indifferent to many people and things.What he said is wrong, I have felt the warmth from him, I have never been indifferent to him, at least I think so.What he said is also true, indeed, in the past, I had no other friends except the stupid bamboo horse, and no one else came to hold my hand and pull me home together except for his warmth.So, now I feel the help given by many people, but I have never felt the so-called frustration of self-esteem, because the help from friends is equal, mutual, natural, and the purest. The only thing I feel is happiness, and warmth.

The boss sent me to the airport, wished me a happy birthday in advance, and asked me to have fun with my stupid bamboo horse. We waved goodbye to each other, and I was about to embark on a flight journey. He drove away and rushed to his home.

The flight from the capital to this seaside city is very short, just over an hour. Fortunately, my flight took off and landed on time, and there was no delay.When I came out of the airport, I didn’t have time to feel the freshness of being in this city for the first time. I directly hired a taxi and rushed to the pastry shop to pick up the cake, and then rushed to the school of the stupid bamboo horse.

It was after eleven o'clock, and I was still in the dormitory in Beijing at five o'clock. After two sections of driving with the airport as the destination and departure point, and one hour's flight, I was finally very close to him.

I guess he's 90.00% likely to be sleeping late at five, he doesn't sleep until one o'clock, and eleven o'clock is still in the category of early risers.

Getting into his dormitory building went smoothly. Sure enough, their school dormitory management is too loose, and even the uncle in charge of the dormitory is not in the gate reception room.Finding his dormitory was very smooth. I knew the address by heart. Even if it was my first time, I was no stranger to this place.Knocking on the door, it went smoothly... I ask myself, what could be wrong with this?I'm a little nervous...

The smoothest thing I look forward to most is that he is in the dormitory, it is he who opens the door, it is his surprised expression, it is him...

Walking on the road on campus, I was always in a nervous state, thinking about what to do if I met him on the road, what to do when he was with his new friends, what would he do if he was talking and laughing with others? I don't know what to do...

My rationality tells me that I shouldn't have these tensions, these are irrelevant worries... But even though I am known for being calm and rational, I still have some tension... This tension is also manifested in the use of ellipses in my mind Rates skyrocket...

"Who is it..." His voice!

The tone I know so well, the sound he made when he was sleepy!

The sound of the anti-theft door opening...their dormitory building's anti-theft door investment is very generous. Our school's dormitory building is strictly managed, but the dormitory doors in the building are all ordinary wooden doors...I still have the time to think about this...

Creak, the sound of a long door being pulled open... the inside of the door...

Sure enough it was him.

I finally saw the real him.

Just as I thought, he was in his pajamas, bleary-eyed.

Just as I thought, he was so surprised that his mouth would not close, and his eyes were wide open.

Just as I thought, he was instantly sluggish and cute.

I couldn't help laughing, the tension disappeared in an instant, as if there had never been any alienation between us, and I said to him the first sentence that slipped out of my mouth naturally:

"You run, idiot."