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"If you are straight and there is no possibility of being with him at all, then don't go to him. You can't satisfy his love, but you don't need to feel guilty, and you don't need other things to make it up. After all, feelings are the most important thing. Things that don't make sense. You don't necessarily need your so-called friendship, and going to him will only make him feel uncomfortable. "

This is what the elite senior told me. He was not stingy with his sharpness when I wanted to spend my birthday with the idiot bamboo horse.

One month before the birthday of the idiot Zhuma and I, the off-line senior called me to their house for a small party. He said that he only invited a few good friends, no women, but there were people in their circle, so He doesn't force me to go, even if he really wants me to.His tone pretended to be very calm and peaceful, as if he really had an attitude of "not forcing it", but I could hear the tone of a stupid bamboo horse asking me for something, looking forward to it, but concealing it, It's like pretending not to care that you really don't care.In this way, it is unbearable to refuse.

"People in their circle", I know, he means people who have the same sexuality as him and the slender senior.

I suddenly had a very strange feeling.When I used to look up this kind of information on the Internet for the sake of stupid bamboo horses, I knew that there were many people of this type in the world.In my opinion, it is essentially the same as people who produce certain hormones for the opposite sex.But when I really want to get in touch with them, I still feel curious and worried.

Curious, because the experience that was once on paper is finally coming into contact with reality... No, it is the "soldier" who is in contact with the paper.I am worried because I have seen many sad stories and know that love in this circle is rare and many people have been hurt.And I, an immature boy who is somewhat ambiguous with the stupid bamboo horse and feels that his sexual orientation is the opposite sex, is still a little scared to be pulled into an unfamiliar field, afraid that I will not be able to get out after entering?Afraid of regret?It doesn't seem to be the case, just to get in touch with the first experience of that circle and worry about it.

But when I think about it again, I criticize myself for worrying a little bit.Although the overall time I have been in contact with the offline seniors is not long, but I have recognized their character as a couple, not to mention their current social status, I have positioned the elite seniors as my goal in my heart .Moreover, I have actually been in contact with that circle, haven't I?There may be too few types of off-line seniors, capable seniors, and even my stupid bamboo horse, but I am definitely familiar with many of their characteristics.Thinking about it this way, I once again feel that my worrying psychology is a bit narrow.

I told the off-line senior that of course I would go. Sure enough, his previous attitude of pretending not to care but actually worried turned into joy in an instant. He told me that he would pick me up on Sunday afternoon and lock the door in the dormitory at night. send me back.

For the off-line seniors, I really need to thank them very much. They have helped me a lot in the past half of the semester, such as the key points that should be emphasized in studies, such as joining clubs, such as connecting me with some important people. , such as taking care of my life.At the beginning of school, even if I didn't want to trouble them, to be honest, I had to trouble them a lot, because after all, I was too weak.

The kind of independence that does not need the help of others can of course be realized, and it is enough to not pursue anything. If you don’t pursue anything, you don’t need to get involved with others, and you don’t need the help of others.But I need to pursue, I want more resources to help me be strong, I need help.

The considerate proactive greetings of the off-line seniors solved many of my embarrassments. He seemed to know that I struggled with my self-esteem to decide whether to seek help. He took the initiative to greet me, to resolve my struggles, and to give me a step. Come climb.I am very grateful to him.I have to sigh again, when I first arrived in a strange city, it was great to meet them.

Shortly after the call with the offline senior, the message from the elite senior arrived.It often happens like this, the off-line senior is responsible for making calls, and the slender senior is in charge of sending text messages to supplement what he didn't mention or didn't explain clearly on the phone after the phone call. I guess the offline senior doesn't know that the slender senior sends text messages , because he is offline.

The senior's message is very simple: on our anniversary, bring him a gift he likes, don't say too much.

Anniversary?wedding anniversary?But the off-line senior originally introduced the fine senior as "boyfriend", it doesn't look like he is married.Maybe it's another anniversary.But, the gift that the off-line senior likes... what does he like?

I'm a little guilty, I've known these days, and they have helped me so much, but I don't know what gifts they like... Ah, yes, he likes Sprite... But I can't really give a box of Sprite, can you? The senior may beat me up.

I consulted the boss with the most experience in giving gifts, combined with the similar personalities and hobbies of the off-line seniors and idiot bamboo horses, and finally decided to give them a chocolate gift box... This is also a helpless choice, combined with my purchasing power, the preferences of the off-line seniors, their anniversary The nature and other factors, I decided that it was an exquisite wine chocolate gift box from a famous brand, although it seemed a bit like a gift for women...

On Sunday afternoon, Senior Jinghan drove his car to pick me up on time. I saw that he was the only one, so I asked senior off-line where he was, and he replied that he was cooking at home... I was lucky enough to taste it once, what a subtle culinary art...

The elite senior saw my worries, and comforted me by saying that most of the food was bought ready-made, and the offline seniors did not make many finished products.It seems that he has planned a win-win situation for the guests to eat comfortably and the off-line seniors to cook happily.

"But all the dishes he cooks must be eaten."

But before I could rest assured, another blow came.Sure enough, compared with his lover's mood, the stomachs of our guests are nothing.

The elite senior inspected my presents, the wine chocolate gift box and a bouquet of flowers, and I was relieved to pass the test.

When I arrived at his house, it was a duplex small second floor with a very comfortable and warm decoration. The off-line senior warmly brought a plate of small cakes he had just baked to the door to welcome me. I had no choice but to stuff a cake. It really tasted delicious subtle.

After entering the door, I realized that several guests had already arrived, and they were all handsome elites. Although they were all of the same sex, and even though they were all wearing casual clothes, I suddenly felt my weakest sense of oppression.

The off-line senior enthusiastically introduced me to them, and then introduced them to me, and went to the kitchen busy. Then, an elite who was about 1.7 meters [-] in a pink dress came to tease me... Sister Squirrel With the black-framed seniors, they flirted a hundred times more openly...

"This kid looks so abstinent! He's only a freshman! He's so tall! Come and sit next to my brother! Do you have a boyfriend? What type do you like? Do you think my brother is pretty..."

A bunch of exclamation marks and question marks... Can I ask you, brother, have you ever taken a perfume bath?I haven't been next to you yet, it's all smoked, won't I be suspected of innocence by them after I go back to sit next to you?

Pa, the elite senior went over and gave him a small slap on the forehead.

"He is not a member of the circle, so don't make you angry everywhere."

Such a cold tone...

"What are you doing? Hit me! You are too much to her! What if you lose your foundation? You are amazing to start a family. Do you understand how lonely she is? I want to complain to your wife!"

Such a nasty tone...

It turns out that there are really such strange things in this circle... Is this innate or acquired... My stupid bamboo horse wouldn't be like this... Well, definitely not!But what should he do if there is such a weird thing around him... It's so tangled.

Chatting with them, I realized that the anniversary is the anniversary of the relationship between the off-line senior and the elite senior.It is said that they have used this anniversary as their wedding anniversary over the years.

"Why don't you go abroad to get married?" This was asked by the partner of one of their elite friends. It is said that the couple had just talked, and they brought us here today to let everyone recognize their family members.Now he also asked my doubts, we are so close, why not get married.

"It's just a formality. It's not necessary. He also cares about his family." The elite senior explained.

Also, although marriage is a form of legal recognition and guarantee, for this kind of love, the marriage values ​​of mainstream values ​​are not applicable. They don't have the problem of women needing marriage protection, and they can't put their love on all of them. Family and friends spread the word.

Being together is already their love, their marriage, and there is no need for another piece of paper to approve it.

Many, many social realities have also shown this point. Some people have that certificate, but unfortunately they still can’t keep their marriage. Some people don’t have those certificates, but they know how happy they are. Interests, playing with the law, playing with marriage.That piece of paper is all about the heart.

Afterwards, we changed the subject of the conversation.Big Brother Strange is still interested in me, and he still asks me all kinds of things. However, he is a graduate of a prestigious university, or a returnee from the United States after studying for a Ph. Molesting.

It can be seen that the off-line senior and his wife invited all their good friends. They had no scruples in his house, and they played and played to their heart's content. Some topics were rarely inappropriate, but that also represented their intimacy.Just like the atmosphere after the six people in our dormitory get acquainted... No, it is more warm and intimate than that atmosphere, which belongs to the taste of friendship.

More than half of the dinner meals are signature dishes bought from the restaurant, and the off-line seniors cooked a few home-cooked dishes.When the elite senior set the table, he deliberately placed the dishes cooked by the senior off-line in the middle, and the delicious dishes bought from the restaurant were placed around.He unabashedly threatened us when we were getting ready to serve and when the off-line senior went to the kitchen to get the tableware:

"Finish the middle course, otherwise..."

Everyone said that the dishes in the middle could not be better!It must be eaten clean!

Before the meal started, the doorbell rang, and the off-line senior went to welcome the last guest.This is an elite whose aura is similar to that of a tough senior. He is carrying a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of red roses.

The off-line senior took the champagne to the slender senior, and when he went to pick up the bouquet, he carefully handed the red rose to the off-line senior, saying "For you".

It feels... There is a story!The tough senior's aura became even colder from the moment he entered the door, and after he delivered the rose and said that sentence, he was so cold that he was scumbag!Moreover, pointing out the rose for the off-line senior, saying that he is not interested in the off-line senior is simply too unconvincing, the affectionate eyes say it all!

I feel that my gossip gene is showing signs of turning on in an instant, which doesn't match my temperament.

The off-line senior didn't seem to realize how turbulent the atmosphere was, and he still cheerfully invited guests to sit down and introduced new faces.After the introduction, I found out that this is an off-line senior's university roommate, and also my senior... Sure enough, there must be a story, and there is no story in such a close-to-the-water background. I am sorry for the bouquet of red roses.

But it's a pity that the time of the dinner party is of course not suitable for me to talk to the offline seniors, and the strong seniors will probably beat me up 100% if they find out, so I can only eliminate the gossip genes that I haven't 100% activated yet.

The nearly two-hour meal was very enjoyable. In fact, eating was no longer the focus. Everyone talked and laughed, drank and punched, and molested the couple who had passed the anniversary—in fact, they were just molesting the senior who was offline—so warm and happy.

After the meal, we played in the living room for more than an hour before everyone left one after another.The senior with a near-water background seems to be very busy, and he has to go back to work overtime after 22 o'clock. He was the last to come and the first to leave. When he left, he heard the senior who was offline told him not to work too hard. He responded with a smile .

If... I'm imagining that if... this senior is really frustrated in love and can only watch the person he likes spend his anniversary with others and send blessings, I can understand why he works so hard.

I was left at the last exit and was driven back by the elite senior.The elite senior wanted to drive, so he didn't drink any alcohol during the dinner, so Big Brother Qipa and the others poured down the senior's off-line senior hard, which made the senior's aura always cold.When I left, the off-line senior who was drunk enough to talk incoherently hugged me and said an affectionate farewell to me. The strong senior looked at me so coldly that I wondered if he would let me get out of the car halfway. gone back.

He still didn't let me go back, not only sent me to the downstairs of the dormitory, but also made me a confidant brother.This role is usually filled by the offline seniors enthusiastically.

After I told the story of me and the idiot bamboo horse to the senior off-line, the senior off-line has been thinking about our follow-up with great enthusiasm, so I will tell him what I think, and ask him to help me analyze it. Angle discerning my subconscious mind.Although I know that he will definitely tell the senior Jinghan about my confession without reservation, but I am flattered that the senior Jinghan personally came to explain it to me.

In fact, the elite senior didn't say much, only those three sentences:

"If you are straight and there is no possibility of being with him at all, then don't go to him. You can't satisfy his love, but you don't need to feel guilty, and you don't need other things to make it up. After all, feelings are the most important thing. Things that don't make sense. You don't necessarily need your so-called friendship, and going to him will only make him feel uncomfortable. "

After I got out of the car, before he left, he said again: "You and his roommate used to look very similar."

I think I should know a lot, just literally.