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"The thread in the hands of the loving mother, the clothes of the wandering son." In order to prove this poem, my mother deliberately tore high-quality cotton cloth and sewed pajamas and underwear for me... Although she was speechless, she was also very moved and grateful.

I insisted on dragging my luggage to go to school by myself and refused to let my parents send me to the imperial capital. My mother objected to no avail, and sadly scolded my father who supported me because he didn’t feel sorry for the flesh that fell from her body.I hugged my mother to comfort her, but she burst into laughter again, saying that in exchange for two tears, you took the initiative to hug my mother, and it was worth it.

I also feel sad, because of the sadness of traveling far away from home, and because of his escape.

He escaped quickly, and a week after the admission notice was sent, he followed his uncle and aunt back to his hometown, which was further northwest than Northwest, to announce the good news to the old people.It is said that their hometown is relatively remote, and there is rarely a college student in the whole village. Although he is not a child born and raised there, his ancestral home is there, which does not affect the enthusiasm of the villagers to celebrate.

From the phone calls of my mother and aunt, I heard how grandly he was welcomed back home, how soft he was when he received red envelopes, how he was introduced to younger brothers and sisters as a role model, and how he did not know the local dialect. In my hometown, I often blush and embarrass myself.

That expression is familiar to me, very cute.

From our birth to the present, he only went back to his hometown once during the summer vacation after graduating from elementary school, and this is the second time.I remember that time when he came back from his hometown, he nagged and told me what he saw along the way all day long, what roads were not easy to walk, the trains and cars that took a long time, small bungalows, mountains and forests, people who spoke strange languages A group of children took him to dig out bird nests and fish in the river... He spoke in such detail that I could even picture him playing in my mind, the mud monkeys jumping up and down, it was so satisfying.

What about this time?This time, he is probably much better.The little friends who used to take him to dig out bird nests for fishing, according to his aunt, seem to be married.Many farmers don't care about the legal age of marriage, but care more about the continuation of the bloodline and the early birth of a baby. It is said that many people get married at the false age of [-], and after giving birth, they go to the city to work. At that time, the child will be able to make soy sauce, and it is almost time to have a second child.

Hearing these gossips, I guess he must have been very surprised too, and he can still think of the scene, how anxious he was when he heard the seven aunts and eight aunts chatting with his mother in dialect, and how happy he was when he waited for his aunt to repeat the gossip to him in Mandarin at night and meet.

After his family lived in his hometown for half a month, his uncles and aunts came back, and he went directly to school.

The aunt said, this child has really grown up and is sensible, and they are determined not to send it to him, thinking that he went to that city for his honeymoon when he was young, and he has no desire to travel, and he still has to go to work, so they raised him as a boy. In principle, let him go.The mother agreed, saying that I don't want them to send it, and the children are so filial.

I listened to them chatting in the living room with my ears in the room, trying to get more information about him.For example, he lived in the school hostel first, and met a classmate of the same level who also arrived at school early. The other family came to travel in a coastal city, and they took him to play with him enthusiastically. He reported the itinerary to his aunt every day, took photos and sent them to his father. look at mom.

Finally I couldn't help it, I went to the living room with my mobile phone, asked for his number on the grounds that the newly bought mobile phone didn't save his number, and pretended to be unable to resist the enthusiasm of my aunt, and received a photo sent back by him .While the aunt was not paying attention, he also copied his social network username.

Our estrangement was really thoroughly carried out by this stupid bamboo horse. Without the connection of "students in the same school", even the "encounter" on the way to school can no longer be established, let alone those social networks registered after high school. , he will never take the initiative to add me!

After we went to high school, our parents bought a mobile phone package that was bound to our broadband service at home. The monthly fee was fixed. The mobile phone was also an old mobile phone that was eliminated by the adults. The only games on it were Reversi and Snake.At that time, I didn’t think such a simple function was enough. Commuting students would go home every day, and there was no need for long-distance students living on campus to make long-distance calls with their families. Besides, they were busy with schoolwork and had too little time for homework. Chatting on the phone and text messages.

He is very happy, he feels that owning a mobile phone is one step closer to becoming an adult, and he is a little adult with status.In the week when he got his number back, he would call me every night to ask me about homework, what is the right answer, remote lectures, which channel to play Altmanye's childhood memories... If it weren't for the phone, I would It's so annoying that I want to punch him.Then he called me on the cell phone before he came to make up classes on weekends. I thought he couldn’t come because of something, but when he entered my house, he said happily on the phone, “I’m coming in!” room, use force to educate him on the proper use of mobile phones.

He said before that he needs to save money to buy a very high-end mobile phone. When he makes a call, he will have more face. He is as stylish as a gangster brother and conquers a group of younger brothers to follow him. After he finished speaking, I started to laugh at him mercilessly. .

He has bought a new mobile phone now, but I don't even know the brand, model and new number, let alone see if he looks like he is using the new mobile phone to make calls, whether it is the same as what he said before.

Looking at the photos he sent back, there are pictures of him smiling brightly with others, pictures of him walking on the beach, pictures of him embracing the sea breeze with his arms outstretched by the sea, and pictures of him chewing seafood without any image... For the first time, I came across There is a real sense of distance: this is the him who grew up with me, the one who cries, laughs and mischievously in front of me, the one who watched movies with me, the one who walks in the snow hand in hand He, the one who said "I like you" to me... is also the one who is now estranged, the one who flies away, the one who no longer talks to me, the one who no longer smiles at me...

Do I still know him?Does he remember me?You see, he still smiles so happily without me by his side, has he forgotten me and returned to the heartless and laughing him?

While I was agonizing over our estrangement, he was having fun like it never had.It's just as good without me.

Suddenly I felt like being tricked: it was he who brought me into this quagmire, for him I searched for gay information, for him I was troubled, for him I spent so much time and energy...for him I even doubt myself now For him, I am determined to learn to "like" and give him a serious answer!

But he doesn't need it?If he doesn't need it, am I doing useless work?

I decided that if I got a "like" result and fell in love with him, even if he didn't like me at that time, I would not give up explaining my rejection seriously to him.

But it is undeniable that I was lost because of his alienation, because I was worrying and he was smiling.

I think, this time maybe I've got into a dead end.

I used to always advise him to let go, let go of the emotional baggage he cares about, let go of other people's criticism, let go of sentimentality.But now, he may have let go, let go of my rejection, let go of different sexuality problems, let go of troubles.Only I still held up the unresolved knot, stuck in the past, and stopped moving forward.

It's disgusting, the feeling of being left behind by him.

In my unhealthy loss, the date of the university report is getting closer and closer.

I still decided to go a few days earlier. Although I traveled to the imperial capital when I was a child, the memory of that time is hardly helpful to the present. The imperial capital has undergone tremendous changes over the years. I am both longing for and unfamiliar with the concrete city.I also want to keep myself busy, as long as I get busy, the unresolved corner problems will be temporarily forgotten.

The pajamas and underwear my mother sewed by herself were carefully stuffed into my big suitcase.I was surprised that my mother had such good craftsmanship. Not to mention the underwear, the pajamas were no different from those sold in brand stores in shopping malls at first glance except for thicker stitches.I praised my mother for her craftsmanship without hesitation, and I tried my best to express my love for her by choking out a few nasty words. My mother laughed wildly, and ran out to buy me specialties and food to take to school.My father told me quietly that my mother failed to cut the fabric by herself, so she ran to the tailor shop to ask someone to cut the fabric, and then she came back and put the cut fabric together and sewed it up.We smiled tacitly, and decided to only praise our mother for being virtuous and capable, and ignore the rest.

I think, if I am really sexually morphed, my mother is the only woman I love in my life.In that case, Auntie is also very happy, as the only woman that idiot bamboo horse loves in this life... Why did it involve him again!

Before leaving, I also sent a package for my aunt, which was the pajamas and underwear that my aunt sewed for him... When my aunt came back and found out about her mother’s sewing idea, she was immediately moved. Tailor-made ideas for intellectual women like them, so I went to cut the fabric with my mother, and then sewed the patchwork...

My aunt said my handwriting was beautiful, so according to my aunt's entrustment, I first helped her write a messy letter dictated by her, then folded the letter and put it in the pocket of my pajamas, then packed the clothes and took it to the post office to send he.

What Auntie didn't know was that I stuffed a small note in the other pocket of his pajamas, it just said——

"You run, idiot!"

After sending it, I feel much better.

He must have looked amused when he received a package slip signed by the sender in my name.When he saw the fleshy letter written in my handwriting, he must have been in a strange mood.He must have blushed when he found the little note.

Thinking about it this way makes me feel better.

"Whether you want to let it go or not, if you offend me and make me annoyed, then you can't even think about having a good time."——This is the only thought I left after leaving aside those sissy literary thoughts— — wait and see.

The night before my departure, my parents dragged me into the study to have "Son's Last Serious Conversation Before Going to College". The title was written in large characters by my mother and pasted on the study door. The stupid Zhuma came to have such a conversation, but Zhuma traveled directly from his hometown to school. Uncles and aunts did not have a face-to-face interview, so they had to make a phone call regrettably, so they wanted to have a conversation with me who was still at home anyway.

I think my mother is sometimes like a lively younger sister, who always makes me pamper me... My father said bluntly to me that mother is a woman that our father and son should pamper, no matter how much I don’t get tired of her nagging, I can't disobey her, because she is the mother who gave birth to me and raised me and loves me, and my father's favorite wife.

I envy my parents' marriage. They fall in love and get married freely. The marriage has been harmonious for nearly 20 years. The husband and wife are loving. Occasionally, there are quarrels, which are more like flirtatious bickering. One pretends to be angry and the other is nasty. .Even now that their son is almost an adult, they occasionally play with the romance of their youth without showing any signs of oldness.

My mother said that my father used to have the same temper as me, so indifferent that people dare not approach him. It was she who warmed his indifferent state of mind with true love and turned him into a good husband who loved his wife.My mother said, I must be the same as my father. Beneath the indifferent appearance is the enthusiasm for attaching importance to relatives and believing that true love will not let go.She hopes that I can also find a lover who I love and truly loves me. Like them, I can fall in love and get married freely, and live a happy life together.

Therefore, the first topic of her conversation was to strongly support me in dating at school... and as an early adult gift, she gave me a box of safety products from a certain famous brand...

I looked at my father and asked, "You guys discussed it together?"

My father replied with his eyes: "It must be your mother's own idea!"

So I accepted it, and I promised my mother that I would be brave enough to fall in love, but I would never be sentimental. When I saw true love, I shot it, and if I found a wife, I took it home.Mother is very pleased.

Amid my mother's gratifying smile, my thoughts went astray: If I really brought them back a male daughter-in-law, I don't know if my mother would be gratified... I feel that my thoughts are even more erratic on the way astray It's all because of that idiot!

Others were also instructed a lot, all kinds of precautions that I should pay attention to when I am out alone, everything is detailed and detailed.My parents were reluctant to leave me as if they were going to give away their most precious treasures, which made me nostalgic for the home I grew up in.

After a sleepless night, I got up in the morning and got ready. After having a loving breakfast at home made by my parents, they sent me to the airport, watched me go through the security check, and entered the waiting hall.I waved to them, and blew a rare naughty kiss. My mother's eyes were red, and tears were stored, and she kissed me back vigorously through the air.

When the plane flew into the sky, I guessed that the parents must not have left. They must be watching the plane and flying away with their beloved baby.This conjecture makes me very happy.

I don't want to disappoint each of them, I don't want to perfunctory the expectations of each of them, parents, idiots, even for them, I need to polish myself.This is the first step for me to get rid of my indifference and learn to "like".