God knows

I think the current relationship should barely be called friendship.

From a simple "Ann, what's weird about you, I have to find out.", to a god of love and a human partner who loves to make love, to a cross-species(?) one-night stand relationship, in the end, we really Have no secrets from each other.

I must say, I'm pretty satisfied with that.

In fact, this is a very sad thing, because if I really want to talk about it, I actually got nothing. I get tired of being with a love god every day, but I can't get any real love.

But I'm content, I repeat, I'm content.

"Phoenix, you never said anything about yourself."

I sat cross-legged in front of the table, closed my laptop with a snap, and turned to look at Phoenix sitting on my bed.

She used to sit on my bed, sit by my window, walk around my room with a provocative nonchalant, but now it feels different, a little more familiar, a little more intimate.

"I talk a lot about arrows, about feelings, about 'them'."

"That's Eros, Phoenix, just like humans, we have to eat, drink, play, and work, it's just about humans, it's not about a person." I was surprised to see her nod. She agreed with me so simply, "Everyone deserves a unique story, Phoenix, what about yours?"

"It's boring," she said softly.

What surprised me even more was that this sentence used to be full of cruelty or sarcasm.

"It's just living, Ann, thousands of days, when I think back, the blankness is as simple and fleeting as a second."

"That's a long time, Phoenix, you have lived for so long, you must have experienced something that ordinary people can't experience, right?"

"Just like you eat chocolate every day, you will feel bored after eating it for the third week."

So I couldn't argue and accepted her argument.

After a moment of unembarrassed silence, Phoenix got up and got out of bed.

I listened to her crunching on the floor, and felt Cupid in my room. At this moment, it seemed to be harmonious, no longer a contradiction and a strange plot.

"Ann, I insist on telling a story, maybe it will start with meeting you."

She said that she reached out and took a comic from me, and I could tell that she was reading with her head down, and she used this action to bury the slight joy she felt when I heard this sentence.

"How do you say?" I asked almost aggressively.

"No Cupid has ever been seen, at least not by humans." Phoenix put down the comics and said, looking up at me with no emotion, but the tone is quite sincere, "If there is anything special about my story It’s probably only because of you.”

Quite a rational sentence, but I interpreted it in a romantic way without authorization. Phoenix frowned and stared at me, obviously knowing what was going on in my head.

I laughed out loud, aside from the fact that the relationship at this stage is one-sided, I actually quite enjoyed this plot.

Phoenix is ​​so cute even frowning.

"Hey, wait a minute."

I was silent for a few seconds and yelled.

"What do you mean by that...wait a minute, you mean...there is more than one Cupid? Not just you?"

She paused, nodded, it didn't seem like a secret, but she wondered why I was surprised.

"Ann, do you know how big this world is and how much love happens every day?"

This tone is really annoying, really familiar, but I hate myself even more, I am so used to listening to the disdain and ridicule in this tone, I am so used to it that I have to live with it.

"Got it!" I shouted impatiently, never thinking about this question, just because I can't imagine that there are so many phoenixes in the world, and phoenixes are so almost sacred and unique in my eyes.

"Many, but we've never met before."

"How is it possible? As long as you can see each other and talk to each other?" I asked in horror, never met?Haven't seen each other for hundreds of years?

"Well, it's impossible, unless there are special circumstances." Phoenix said, "We can read human emotions, but we can't read each other's. We can't try to find each other, but we don't know why and it's impossible to meet by chance. Maybe there's some fate involved too? God knows."

Really, God knows.

Even Phoenix is ​​not sure, there is absolutely no solution.

"Won't you miss me?"

"Won't."

But that's the only person with whom it's possible to talk for hundreds of years...

"They're all the same."

"What's the same?" Phoenix's tone suddenly became cold, and the hasty conclusion surprised me.

"like me."

"Do you look exactly the same?" Do you see other people as you see yourself?

"No, I was made into a mess by the life on the ground, and lost myself in the end."

I shut up.

"install."

she whispered.

"I'll miss it."

I watched her standing in the middle of my room, it was almost like a painting.

"what?"

"I will miss you."

I think it may be half true, she can give me expectations out of pity, or just meet my pathetic expectations, if I perform well within the range of not exceeding the limit, she will give sugar to a child In that way, occasionally reward me with one or two words I hope.

She knows which few words are most effective than anyone else.

"Ann, you are special, as I told you, you are special to me."

to her.How beautiful it is.

"Phoenix, do you know?"

I sat upright and looked at her.

"Whether I am a second of millions of days in your life when you look back, I just want you to know that my whole life, my short human life, is special because of you .”

I think she is quite clear.

"I don't intend to mess with your life, Ann, I should never have existed for you."

"I get it," I said, "this was a bizarre moment that went off the rails, but it happened..."

"...my whole life."

"I'm so sorry." She looked at me in a way that almost made me think she meant it.

Ann, you can't bear anything for others, and you can't control fate...

You can't control the "lover" thing...

...But if you can control "not loving", maybe it is the greatest relief for me.

As she said, she knew all along that this was going to happen.

I sighed in exasperation, knowing that I was but a shambling ant on the track of fate.

I don't care about being late anymore.

Not being able to ride the school bus really sucks and sucks, but the time I'm alone means more time with Phoenix, which basically makes it all worth the price of admission.

I became cautious as I pushed my way through the crowd, because I was sure I couldn't afford a cup of coffee in a white shirt.Phoenix followed me through the crowd, with a faint smile, if I could not see the tenderness in that smile, otherwise I would really turn my head and scold.

"what!"

When I heard the scream, I almost subconsciously wanted to run.But Finnis grabbed my wrist and pointed to the back lightly.

I laughed out of place when I turned my head.

"Ann! It's Ann!"

Cynthia jumped up and down in the crowd and waved to me, and I saw Camille resisting the crowd with an impatient look.I held my arms high, trying to make them see me.

"Happy, very happy."

Finnis whispered, holding my hand in the crowd.

I'm not sure what the action meant, but I took it upon myself to read more.

Happy, very happy.