Sang Yu Fei Wan

Beichen,

By the time you read this email, I will already be on the plane home.

I'm sorry I haven't answered your call these two days.I don't know how to face you, so I chose to escape uselessly.

Even when writing this email, I don't know where to start.

In retrospect, you hinted at me many times about work.

And I should also be familiar with the rules of this society and the workplace, and make reasonable expectations of myself.

But I missed it all, and I never thought about it, so when I knew the truth, I felt unacceptable.

Perhaps you are confused.

Why do you do so many things to me, some things I will be grateful for, some things I will refuse, and some things, I will be like today, close to collapse.

Maybe it seems to you that you just want to be nice to me.

I understand that it may be difficult for you to understand what this event means to me.Because even I myself, only now understand.

It was even because of you that I realized it slowly.

Once, work was nothing more than a tedious means of earning a living for me. I struggled to survive in crowded subways and dreary cubicles every day.

It's like a grain of sand, slapped on the ground by the violent wind and rain of life, drifting with the tide.

Later, with you, I really get pleasure from life.

It also really created some expectations that I didn't dare to dream of before.

For example, wanting to recognize your worth.

For example, wanting to be by your side.want to love you.

So it's hard for me to blame you.

You have been a vital help in my difficult times.

Not only did it improve my life materially, but it also made me change my previous views and want to seize the initiative in life.

But that's what hurts me the most.

It seems that without you, in every way, I can do nothing.

I don't know if I can make you understand.

Not much to say.

do not worry about me.I just need time to think about it.

俞桑

When the bus arrived at the station, it began to rain lightly in Qingyuan.

When she came back this time, Yu Sang didn't notify Yu Qiuxia in advance.If he could, he actually didn't want anyone to see him in a mess, but at this moment, apart from his home, he couldn't think of another place to stay in the big world.

Yu Sang didn't open an umbrella, and there were many twists and turns on the road.Even though it wasn't raining heavily, Yu Sang was already drenched by the time he arrived at the door.

He took out his key and tried to open the door.

But when I was looking for the keys at home, I happened to see the escape room prize pendant hanging on the key chain.

He stopped and stared at the pendant for a while.

I didn't notice the footsteps.

Hearing his mother calling his name, Yu Sang turned his head in surprise.

"Mom," Yu Sang said, "you're not home?"

Yu Qiuxia stood under the eaves, put away the umbrella, and hugged Yu Sang, not too wet.

"How did you make yourself like this?" Yu Qiuxia asked, "Come in quickly, change your clothes, and I'll make soup for you."

After taking a bath, I changed into warm and dry clothes, and drank a stomach full of delicious pork bone soup.

At this time, Yu Sang felt as if he had come back to life.

After finishing drinking, Yu Qiuxia stood up, neatly piled up the bowls and chopsticks, and piled them into the sink.She didn't even wash it, so she turned around, walked back to the dining table in two or three steps, and sat opposite Yu Sang.

"Lost your job?" Yu Qiuxia asked.

"No..." Yu Sang said.

"What's the matter, lovelorn?"

Yu Sang opened her eyes wide: "How do you know..."

"I don't know," Yu Qiuxia said, "but what can you young people do because of it, it's not just these two things."

Then, he asked again: "Are you really broken in love?"

Yu Sang paused, and said, "No... maybe..."

"It's a quarrel." Yu Qiuxia made a final decision.

Yu Sang also had no way to refute.

"Sure enough, a mother can't urge you," Yu Qiuxia continued to talk about it while she was knitting at night, "Ah, urging, urging, and there is no letter at all for two or three years. Don't urge me, don't you?" Can you give me the whole grandson tomorrow?"

Yu Sang thought to himself: ...This may really not work.

"What kind of person?" Yu Qiuxia asked while wearing presbyopic glasses and carefully studying the patterns on the map.

Yu Sang didn't really want to mention Zhong Beichen, so he didn't say anything.

Yu Qiuxia didn't hear anything for a while, so she put down her knitting needle and looked at Yu Sang inquisitively through her glasses.

Yu Sang couldn't bear it, so he could only say, "Just... younger than me."

"Normal," Yu Qiuxia said, "There are not many unmarried people at your age."

"Hmm..." Yu Sang said, "very sensible."

Yu Qiuxia nodded, dissatisfied with Yu Sang's evaluation like squeezing toothpaste, frowning seemed to be urging Yu Sang to tell the truth quickly.

"...sometimes a little childish, but it's very good to me, and it's good to spend your time."

"Then why are you so awkward?"

"...It's quite complicated." Yu Sang said.

"Tell me?" Yu Qiuxia said.

Yu Sang thought over and over again, and said, "I just... find it difficult."

"The two of us are very different. Our living environment, our way of dealing with the world, and our perception of value... It seems that the relationship between us is all dependent on that feeling... Maybe it was okay at first, but after a long time, I'm worried..."

Yu Sang paused, but did not continue.

Yu Sang didn't want to think about many endings that could be foreseen by closing her eyes.

Yu Sang changed the subject and said, "Besides, it's also difficult to be recognized by the society."

Include your endorsement.Yu Sang thought silently.

Yu Qiuxia didn't extract any effective information from Yu Sang's specious words. She frowned and thought for a long time, but she didn't draw any conclusions, so she simply asked:

"Then now, do you still want to be with him?"

Yu Sang didn't speak for a while.

It was quite quiet in the house, and the sparse rain could be heard outside the window.

After a while, Yu Sang said softly, "...I think so."

"Then don't delay." Yu Qiuxia said briskly, "You can't delay talking about relationships. Didn't I tell you? I and your father have the same surname and the same village. Although there is no one in the genealogy, we both feel There is a blood relationship. When we were young, we were brothers and sisters, and when we grew up, we were in love. When we were about to get married, no one in the village agreed. Is it difficult? Difficult. But we did not delay even a minute."

"What do we both care about if you like me?"

"Your father left early, if I wasted that time, now I have to regret half my life."

Yu Sang had indeed heard about her mother's love history. In that era of arranged marriages, she had an enviable relationship.

It's a pity that love doesn't last long.

"Maybe..." Yu Sang tentatively said, "You will disagree."

Yu Qiuxia raised her eyebrows: "It means you are my own son."

She put away the sweater, ready to go back to bed.

"If you agree or disagree, wait until I see."

After Yu Qiuxia returned to the bedroom, Yu Sang sat in the living room for a while.

The chandelier was shaken by the wind outside the window, the shadow on the dining table was swaying, and the light was dim.

Yu Sang curled up her legs in the hardwood chair, not knowing what she was thinking.

The rain continued.

Suddenly, the sound of a mobile phone notification broke the silence.

Yu Sang hesitated for a long time, then got up and picked up the phone.

See the news of Zhong Beichen.

Zhong Beichen booked a plane ticket after seeing Yu Sang's email.There was only one flight a day to the small city, and he missed Yu Sang's flight. Zhong Beichen went back and forth many times, flying from the imperial capital to the provincial capital, then from the provincial capital to the high-speed rail, and finally got on the bus.

For the first time, Zhong Beichen arrived at Qingyuan in the middle of the night.He couldn't get any car, and the nearest hotel was ten kilometers away from him.

Zhong Beichen waited at the bus stop for an hour in a daze, hesitated for a long time, and finally sent Yu Sang a message.

The message was also very tactful, just saying: "I'm in Qingyuan, can I see you tomorrow?"

As if a tacit understanding had been cultivated, Yu Sang almost immediately guessed Zhong Beichen's situation at this moment.

He made a phone call and it rang for a long time before Zhong Beichen answered.

"Hello..." Zhong Beichen's voice was a little weak, and Yu Sang could clearly hear the sound of rain on the receiver.

"Where are you?" Yu Sang asked, "I'll pick you up."

Zhong Beichen also tried to refuse.

"Don't you want to see me today?" Yu Sang asked.

Zhong Beichen immediately compromised.

Seeing that Yu Qiuxia was fast asleep, Yu Sang dragged out the little electric donkey and two sets of raincoats without disturbing her.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, and it was almost impossible to see the way ahead.

But Yu Sang still squinted her eyes, blinked off the raindrops on her eyelashes, and leaned forward.

Zhong Beichen stood under the eaves of the passenger station, and the streetlights cast his shadow very long.

When he got closer, Yu Sang realized that Zhong Beichen's body was also dotted with raindrops.

Seeing Yu Sang, Zhong Beichen wanted to hug him a little bit, but he was so embarrassed, so he endured it again and again, and didn't extend his hand.

Seeing Zhong Beichen's half-raised wrist, Yu Sang took the initiative to step forward, raised his arm, and pulled Zhong Beichen into his arms.

Zhong Beichen seemed to have made a huge mistake and was at a loss in Yu Sang's arms.

But slowly, I hugged tightly again.

Zhong Beichen said in a low voice: "I'm sorry, I want to see you so much, so I'm here."

Zhong Beichen said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I don't understand, and I used the wrong method to make you sad."

Zhong Beichen said in a hurry: "But can you teach me? I will never forget it once I learn it."

Zhong Beichen swore: "Really, I will study hard."

Zhong Beichen said earnestly and pleadingly, "But can you not...don't be with me..."

He couldn't say those two words, his throat seemed to be choked.

Yu Sang is a cautious person, he often leaves room for himself in words.

Therefore, on the day when he met Zhong Beichen again, even though he was reluctant to part with each other, he just restrained himself and said "give it a try".

It seems that it is not easy to tear apart after just trying it out.

Because it's just not very successful, it's not a big deal.

There are too many things in the world that you try and find that you can't succeed in the end.

Just like the code also has processing for abnormal input, if an error is encountered, an error message will be returned, or simply skip and execute other lines of code.

Perfect code doesn't report errors at runtime, they anticipate all errors and bypass them, gracefully reaching the end of the program.

But Yu Sang is not an elegant and concise piece of code.

It's more like a buggy project with redundant code and useless parameters.Even if I got the wrong variable and reported a whole screen of errors, I still persisted in ignoring all the errors and wanted to continue the execution.

"...don't break up," Yu Sang said, holding Zhong Beichen's arm tighter and tighter, "I won't break up with you."

It’s all nonsense about the code, please let it go>