Scum attack you, this is a happy pulse

Emotions are such a weird thing.Sometimes Jian Haoming feels that feelings are like a handful of sand, no matter how much you cherish, how much you value, how hard you hold it in your hands, it will still slip through your fingers unconsciously.

He curled up in the quilt, facing the photos all over the wall, clutching his hair tightly.

The difference between feelings and sand is that the speed of sand slipping away from the hand is always faster at the beginning, then gradually slows down, and there will always be a little bit left in the palm of the hand in the end.And the relationship is always like that at the beginning, it seems to be impeccable for a long time, but it is still slipping away, slipping away non-stop, originally slowly, before you realize it, it gradually becomes faster, faster and faster, Until one day you suddenly look at it again, you will find that there is nothing left.

Jian Haoming has been experiencing the same thing, time and time again, with no end in sight.

But this time is different, this time Jian Haoming didn't look away halfway, but kept looking at it.But it is still slipping away, right under Jian Haoming's nose, slipping away little by little without stopping.I can't stop it, and I can't hold it even if I try my best.

Jian Haoming rolled off the bed, turned on the light, and brightened the room, then walked to the wall, stretched out his hand to caress the photos, and traced the outline of the other party bit by bit with his fingertips.

After doing the same thing for nearly 10 minutes, Jian Haoming finally let out a long breath.He still loves this person, and he can still see the handful of sand well in his hands, but he needs to put in more effort than before.

He turned off the light again and curled up under the covers.

The No. 30 days of two months just passed away.Jian Haoming silently told himself that it was already halfway, he had already persisted in half, as long as he continued to persist, he would always succeed.

But that night he didn't sleep well at all.Jian Haoming opened his eyes and watched the sky outside the window gradually brighten, and finally he couldn't continue to deceive himself.

This sand-like feeling is still held in the palm of his hand?Yes, it is still there.

But if it was a full handful at the beginning, it is now only as big as the tip of a fingernail.And the feelings that are as small as the tip of a fingernail continue to slip away at a speed visible to the naked eye.

Could it be just a firework after all?No matter how hard Jian Haoming tried, he could only make the fireworks linger a little longer.

At six o'clock in the morning, when the two needles on the clock had just formed a straight vertical line from bottom to top, Jian Haoming rushed into the bathroom, turned on the faucet on the washbasin, and kept washing his face with cold running water. head.

After rushing for a while, he remembered that he was still pregnant.In order not to make himself sick again, he replaced the cold water with hot water, washed his hair by the way, and then soaked himself in the bathtub.

He touched his stomach in the bathtub, "Son, are you a man or a woman?"

This question is a bit odd.In fact, Jian Haoming had always tacitly believed that he was pregnant with a son. After all, both he and Yang Xiao were men, but he remembered the high school biology he had learned a few days ago and found that two men can also give birth to a daughter.

"It's the same whether it's a man or a woman." Jian Haoming touched his belly again, "But if it's a daughter, don't dislike me for being too careless in the future." Thinking about it this way, maybe it's better to be a son. It must be serious and serious, and the young man should be rough, and it will be less stressful to raise.

No, no, this mentality is wrong.

Jian Haoming clicked his tongue twice, and looked at himself in the mirror with disgust: he started thinking about how to evade responsibility before he was born, is this the attitude of a father?

"Hey, kid." He touched his belly again, "It's the same whether it's a man or a woman. Your father is a bit unreliable. Please bear with me. But I will work hard to be reliable, please Don't despise me."

Jian Haoming wiped his body and came out of the bathroom, put on his clothes, turned on the computer, and felt that it was time for him to study... "Training Guide for Pregnant Mothers".

Why do you want to study the guide for expectant mothers when you are clearly a father-to-be?Life is so helpless sometimes.

He looked at his belly, it was almost four months old, and it was slightly protruding, but it was not obvious.People who don't know read it, and at most they laughed, "The food is good recently, and I've gotten fatter".

"Son, just in case, I mean, in case dad and your other dad can't be together, will you live with me from now on?" Jian Haoming said, "I will work hard. will change."

He saw a strange set of gymnastics in the "Training Guide for Pregnant Mothers", which said that this set of gymnastics is conducive to the physical and mental health of pregnant women, and it is also conducive to the healthy growth of the fetus in the womb.Jian Haoming resolutely practiced the same set. Although his physical strength was stronger than that of normal pregnant women, he was still sweating from exhaustion after all the exercises.

Although I am tired, I only feel refreshed after sweating. It seems that the amount of exercise is quite moderate.Jian Haoming decided to print out this set of gymnastics and do it every day.

After that, he printed out all the precautions during pregnancy and the recommended diet during pregnancy.

Why have these things never been done before and only now?Probably because Jian Haoming always felt that Yang Xiao was more careful than him, and raising a child was a matter of division of labor and cooperation between the two, so it was better to leave some things to Yang Xiao.Even in those days when Yang Xiao's relationship was the coldest, Jian Haoming thought so.

But now, Jian Haoming's mentality suddenly changed.Instead, he doesn't understand now, how could he take it for granted before?

"Look, son, even though your dad looks unreliable, he is still a bit decent after working hard, and he is not so hopeless." Jian Haoming sorted out the typed drafts while stroking his belly, "If In the future, if your other father asks who you want to live with, you must tell him, in fact, I am not that bad. I can also take good care of you. "

Jian Haoming smiled again, "I said it so beautifully, but there is no basis for what I said?" It's okay, he will turn these beautiful words into reality bit by bit in the next time.

Thinking of this, he remembered some other beautiful words he had said, and quickly shook his head away, shaking off these irrelevant thoughts.

He went back to the bedroom silently, saw that the mattress was still a mess, couldn't help but shook his head again, and walked over to tidy it up.I'm going to be a father, so what's the point of not accepting him?

As a result, he actually felt a piece of wetness on the pillow.

... He actually cried last night?Oh, it seemed that he was indeed crying, not about a relationship that was about to end, but about himself.

Jian Haoming touched the wet mark on the pillow vigorously, as if he wanted to smooth out the crack in his heart.But the crack, the more you stroke it, the more it will open.What's more, as long as he turned his head, he could see a wall full of photos, all mocking his hopelessness.

Looking at those photos, he seemed to be looking at the small handful of sand left in his heart.

There is only a little bit left, and it is still passing away at a speed visible to the naked eye.So should he really give up completely and wait like a death row prisoner for the moment when the gun finally flies?

No, he must die.

He has sworn that this will be his last relationship.Even if it's just to maintain the last bit of peripheral vision, he must do everything possible.

Jian Haoming remembered that Jian Qiongliang said that there is a good psychiatrist living in city C, so he quickly called and asked for the psychiatrist's contact information.

"Doctor Su?" As soon as he contacted the other party, Jian Haoming said directly, "There is something I want to consult. I suspect that I have serious psychological problems and urgently need treatment. How do I charge?"

The other party was silent for a while, "Let's talk about your problem first. The general course of treatment is half a year to two years..."

"Six months to two years?" Jian Haoming was anxious.How can this work, even the day lily is cold!After half a year, the children were all born!

"Depending on the situation, it may happen quickly." Dr. Su said, "However, if it is really a 'serious' psychological problem, it may not last for three to five years."

Three to five years!Jian Haoming became even more anxious, "No, it's too slow."

"...Are you in a hurry?"

"very urgent."

"Then how long do you think is suitable?"

"Three days at most."

"..." The other party was silent, deeply silent.Although he wasn't sure what Jian Haoming's problem was, he didn't dare speak up anymore.

"Doctor Su?"

Out of the benevolence of a doctor, the other party finally sighed, "My treatment method is generally mild, and it may not be suitable for you. But I know someone, and I can probably introduce it to you."

"Really?" Jian Haoming was excited, "Please!"

"He used to study abroad and came back recently, so he may not be well-known, but he is really powerful." Dr. Su said, "His best therapy is hypnosis. But I must remind you, his technique is too intense Yes, although it often works miraculously in treating the original problem, there is no guarantee that other problems will not occur. It is not uncommon for patients to be directly driven into mental breakdown by him..."

Why is this person talking so much nonsense!Jian Haoming yelled anxiously, "It's okay! Just hurry up! Tell me how to contact me!"

Dr. Su's kindness was treated as a donkey's liver and lungs, and finally sent the other party's contact information to Jian Haoming's mobile phone in a text message without a word.

Luckily, the address of this hypnotist is not as far away as city c, but in city b, which is close to city a, and it takes half a day to drive there.

Jian Haoming's stolen sports car was found by Xue Changli a long time ago, and he rushed to City B in a hurry.

It was getting late when we arrived, and Jian Haoming didn't care too much, so he hurriedly searched for the address on the text message.

He couldn't help but be in a hurry.

Then the sand of emotion, which is as big as the tip of a fingernail, can only last so long.