sunken square

Guan Rong met Zhang Ke when he was 20 years old.

At that time, he was a graduate student at C University, and Zhang Ke was just in his third year.Guan Rongkai Mengzao, although the two are two years behind, they are the same age.Zhang Ke followed Guan Rong's tutor to write a thesis for the academic year, followed by writing a graduation thesis in the second year, and then joined the graduate school and became Guan Rong's junior.

Originally, they just met each other often in the library, but later they became real brothers, and the relationship naturally became better.

The expansion of degrees back then was not as it is today. Guan Rong stayed at the school when he graduated with a master’s degree, but out of long-term considerations, he still studied for a part-time doctorate while working.Still under the door of the original mentor.

After Zhang Ke graduates with a master's degree, it is not so easy to stay in school, and it can only be a non-staff position.After many twists and turns, Zhang Ke went to the administrative post. Guan Rong urged him to continue his Ph. D. When he was ready to work, the doctor's place on the supervisor's side had already been taken up by another teacher.

Witnessing Zhang Ke's predicament, Guan Rong borrowed his family relationship for the first time and recommended another old professor of the school to be his doctoral supervisor.

Being together seems to be a natural thing.Zhang Ke confessed that he didn't like men, but liked Guan Rong.Later, Guan Rong, who saw a lot of men, thought it was funny. It wasn't Zhang Ke who was funny, but himself.

I don't know when, there were rumors in the school that Guan Rong was gay.Later, the rumors became that Guan Rong was not only gay, but also had a relationship with a student.

Rumors escalated quickly, and not long after, a student handed in a piece of audio, which was evidence that Guan Rong was dating him.The matter finally became serious, when Guan Li questioned Guan Rong, Guan Rong graciously admitted part of the facts.

He took it for granted that what he didn't do was what he didn't do. As for the fact that his love partner was a man, there was no way to change the fact.Facing all the facts in life frankly is his code of conduct, even if he doesn't often point out the facts.

That was the first time Guan Li used violence against Guan Rong.

Although Guan Rong didn't have a mother since he was a child, and he still received military-style management education, Guan Li never beat him, nor interfered with his thoughts.Guan Rong considers himself to be mentally healthy.He is smart, even precocious, not rebellious, extremely tenacious, and can endure both mental and physical suffering.

He doesn't naturally think about what love is, and he doesn't think he needs it, so he doesn't feel that he lacks it.

But Guan Li's slap fell on the face, and he felt free for the first time in his life.Also found that no one loved him.

In retrospect, it was a ridiculous thing. As soon as Guan Li made a move, Guan Rong suddenly understood that Guan Li never interfered with him, but it was only because Guan Li didn't care about his thoughts.To Guan Li, he is an accessory, and there will be no, and it is impossible to disobey his father.And the reason why Guan Rong didn't resist Guan Li was precisely because of this kind of indifference.

Not caring and not interfering are two different things.It took him more than 20 years to understand such a simple truth.

He didn't quarrel or make any apparent resistance, but when Guan Li was about to find someone to help him solve the problem, he resigned alone and dropped out of school at the same time.

At that time in the office, his supervisor was silent for a long time on his Ph.D. withdrawal application, and then took a pen to sign it, saying: "Guan Rong, you are the most talented student I have ever seen."

Guan Rong turned his head when he heard these words, and saw the paulownia treetops dancing wildly in the strong wind outside the window.

He returned to the city where he grew up and went to the south of the old city far away from home.

There is a sunken square there, and Guan Rong is inexplicably attracted.He rented a house nearby, passed by the nearby Children's Palace and saw that part-time piano teachers were being recruited, went in to apply, and soon became a full-time teacher.

In the beginning, Zhang Ke often wrote letters, but gradually disappeared.After a while, Guan Rong went back to University C and saw Zhang Ke holding hands with a woman.

The senior sister told him that not long after he left, Zhang Ke transferred to the establishment position and took over the courses and projects left by Guan Rong.

The senior sister spoke in a noncommittal manner.There is no conspiracy, and smart people never make unnecessary guesses.Seeing that Guan Rong was silent after speaking, she patted him on the back.

"From now on, just be nice to yourself." She told him so.

As soon as he returned to the sunken square, Guan Rong quickly learned to fight, learn to smoke, learn to get drunk, and learned to distinguish all kinds of people in the back street.

Once, his head was bloody from a fight, and he lay on the corner of the street, and the crowd who thought he was dead dispersed.He didn't think about whether he would die or not, he just let it go.Suddenly, a beautiful and thin face appeared in the blood-red vision, and the man threw himself beside him, wiping his forehead with his white hands.

His white hands were covered with blood.She shouted anxiously: "It's too messy! Are you dying?"

Guan Rong felt that it was the first time in his life that he was cared about so bluntly.It turns out that caring doesn't make people feel alienated. It turns out that caring is not so polite, but like blame.

He wanted to say yes to that sister, I would have given up my life a long time ago, I have never taken my life, and he wanted to say that if you don't dislike me, I will give you my life.But the throat was very sticky, and it seemed that the throat was covered with blood like the eyes.

She didn't dare to move him, she just knelt on the ground and hugged his upper body carefully, trying to let him breathe smoothly.They were waiting for the ambulance at the same place, and she seemed to be yelling: "Why are everyone so desperate!" Tears fell patter.

Guan Rong pillowed on her lap and closed her eyes, thinking that such a kind person must have a bad life.

It was also during that time that Guan Rong also learned to talk about some unimportant and harmless love affairs.Those love affairs are all about him, but they seem to have nothing to do with him.

In all the emotional experience, he has always been the one who pulled away.No matter what the reason was, even if it was a seemingly peaceful ending like him and Zhang Ke, it was actually unbearable.

Some people have criticized angrily before that Guan Rong will never move.Guan Rong always stands in the same place, when someone comes to him, he ignores him if he is not interested, and occasionally smiles when he is interested, holding hands, kissing, or going to bed, it doesn't matter.Casual, you can leave at any time, and you can accept others' departure at any time.

The person who spoke had already forgotten that Guan Rong never cared what these people thought of him.Even just getting out of a bed.

However, I don't know when it started, maybe because I couldn't wait until Chen Yuezhi took the initiative to approach, Guan Rong began to care about Chen Yuezhi's attitude.Indistinct, indistinct, the relationship between them became unclear from an unaware moment, and no one seemed to want to explain clearly.This kind of unclearness may be caused by human inferiority.

If Chen Yuechi felt that he was humble and didn't deserve to have all the good things, then Guan Rong didn't mind seeing him with a bad face.

Chen Yuechi didn't move immediately after waking up, as if he was judging the dividing line between reality and dream.Guan Rong looked at him for a while, then kissed his forehead.Chen Yuechi froze as if startled, and stared blankly at Guan Rong, as if he realized that this was not a dream.

Guan Rong ignored his reaction and continued to kiss, just avoiding his lips, kissing from his face to his chest.Later, Chen Yue picked him up with a handful, turned over, and turned upside down.He put the tip of his nose under Guan Rong's earlobe and rubbed it for a long time, his lips wandered around Guan Rong's neck with an extremely strong infatuation.

His breathing was heavy, almost wheezing, Guan Rong heard it in his ears, and his heart palpitations suddenly became severe.He closed his eyes against a slight dizziness.

It was a very quiet and long chat.

Seeing that it was getting late, Guan Rong touched Chen Yuechi's back: "Baby, it's time to get up, I have to go back today."

Chen Yue lay on top of him, his whole body froze.Guan Rong bit his earlobe: "I'll teach you when I go back..." He moved closer, his lips moved almost against Chen Yuechi's ear, and breathed out the remaining half of the sentence: "How to do it."

Chen Yuechi's ears slowly but visibly turned red.Guan Rong stepped back a little, squinting at him in the gradually brightening light.

When Guan Rong was washing, Chen Yuechi had been standing at the door of the bathroom, Guan Rong was a little puzzled, and turned to look at him: "Didn't you wash it?"

Chen Yuechi nodded immediately.Guan Rong turned his head, poured water on his face after rinsing his mouth and straightened up, while Chen Yuechi was still standing there.

After looking at each other for a while, Guan Rong said, "You have to say what you want."

Chen Yuechi's ears turned red again.Guan Rong waited in place, Chen Yuechi approached, his Adam's apple rolled up and down, and asked, "Brother, can I kiss you?"

The voice is very deep, but it sounds a little trembling.

Guan Rong didn't answer and he didn't move until Guan Rong raised his hand to touch him: "Of course."

Chen Yuechi tilted his head slightly, first slightly squeezed the corner of Guan Rong's mouth, and then slowly covered his lips.