Too much

These five words are like poison. For a few seconds, Qi Jingchen couldn't see or hear anything.Something exploded in his head, buzzing, making his brain ache.

After an unknown amount of time, the class bell rang. Qi Jingchen raised his head holding the light yellow letter paper. In the gradually quiet classroom, he saw Shen Zeming walking in slowly from the outside with his head down.

But Shen Zeming didn't look at him, and he didn't walk towards their seats. He walked to the third row of the second group and sat with a girl.

The girl leaned over to talk to him, Shen Zeming had no expression on his face, his lips moved, and the girl smiled and handed him a small jelly.

The fragile letter paper was pinched into a ball by Qi Jingchen and welded in the palm of his hand. The sharp edges and corners cut through the soft flesh of the palm, and blood trickled out along the lines.Qi Jingchen, however, clutched the ball of paper tightly as if he couldn't feel the pain.

The young English teacher walked in with a stack of test papers, knocked on the table and began to talk about today's class content, so the last faint voice in the classroom disappeared.

There was no sound at all, it was too quiet.

The buzzing in Qi Jingchen's head became louder and louder, and the clamor almost annihilated his five senses.He covered his ears, cold sweat broke out on his forehead, and felt that everything in front of him was spinning.

The window next to the wall was wide open, and the cold wind mixed with salty smell came in. It was so cold that the students in the front row couldn't help rubbing their arms. When they got up to close the window, Qi Jingchen pressed his shoulders vigorously.

He turned his head inexplicably, but was taken aback by Qi Jingchen's appearance, he was stunned for a moment, he didn't dare to say anything, and turned back with his neck shrunk.

In the next second, Qi Jingchen stood up, pushed away the table suddenly, and strode forward.

The tables and chairs shook and made a harsh rattling sound. The English teacher who was giving a lecture was stunned for a moment, then frowned and asked him what he was going to do.

Qi Jingchen didn't speak, his face was so gloomy that he was about to drip, his whole body was tense, and the muscles of his shoulders and back were bulging out under his thin shirt.He walked directly to Shen Zeming's desk, grabbed Shen Zeming's wrist, and dragged him out involuntarily.

Under the stunned gaze of the crowd, Shen Zeming staggered a few steps, and walked out obediently with him.

Within a few seconds, exclamations and discussions broke out in the class. The English teacher quickly put down the test paper and chased him out, but there was no one in the corridor.

Qi Jingchen dragged Shen Zeming to the rooftop.

During class time, there was no one here, and the wind whirled in my ears with a bit of early autumn chill, blowing up Qi Jingchen's school uniform and shirt, making him look very thin.

Shen Zeming let Qi Jingchen press him against the rough concrete wall, drooping his eyelids as if he had no energy, and pursed the corners of his mouth tightly, as if he didn't want to let oil and salt in.

At this time, Qi Jingchen's hands were shaking violently again, and the crumpled letter paper couldn't be opened no matter what.Shen Zeming looked down at his movements, his eyelids trembled slightly, but he still didn't help.

In the end, Qi Jingchen threw the ball of paper in despair, stood with his hands hanging by his sides for a while, and then his fist with bulging veins smashed against the wall behind Shen Zeming.

Blood flowed out soon, and Shen Zeming bit the tip of his tongue, feeling his eyes burning hot.

With the other hand, Qi Jingchen lifted Shen Zeming's jaw, suppressed his voice, and asked him, "What do you mean?"

His voice was very low, mixed with the whistling wind, it was a bit inaudible.

Shen Zeming still lowered his eyelids and refused to look at him, his tone was very light: "That's what it means."

For maybe 5 minutes, Qi Jingchen didn't speak, just hooked his chin like that, and looked at him expressionlessly.

After a long time, he seemed to calm down a lot, and asked again: "Why?"

This time Shen Zeming answered quickly, his voice was still calm, "There is no reason, I just don't want to be with you anymore."

However, the next moment after saying these words, he suddenly broke free from Qi Jingchen's confinement, his eyes were red, and he threw himself very, very hard to hug Qi Jingchen.

Qi Jingchen didn't stand still, he subconsciously protected Shen Zeming's waist with his hands, and took two steps back. When he felt the cloth on his chest getting soaked, he closed his eyes and gently hugged Shen Zeming back.

No one speaks anymore.

The weather in City H was really not very good that day, dark clouds with a large mass of water vapor fell on it, and the whole sky was very oppressive, as if foretelling that some misfortune was about to happen.

Not long after, heavy raindrops poured down on his head, and Shen Zeming stayed in Qi Jingchen's arms for a while, then slowly straightened up, and withdrew from his arms.

His skin is fair, and his eyelids are always red after crying. He looks a little pitiful, but the cold expression on his face cannot make people feel sympathetic.

"I'm sorry." Shen Zeming said.

The nasal sound of the crying voice made Qi Jingchen briefly have the illusion that Shen Zeming curled up under him and begged for mercy that night.

But Shen Zeming said again: "Happy breakup."

It's just an illusion, Qi Jingchen thought.

The buzzing sound exploded in his mind again, Qi Jingchen's throat was choked up, and he was speechless for a long time.

He didn't want to ask the reason anymore, because no matter what it was, Shen Zeming just didn't want him.

He looked like a badly injured beast, with his head hanging down in a daze, even a little dazed.After a while, he looked up at Shen Zeming, his voice hoarse: "Shen Zeming, today is my birthday."

"I want to hear happy birthday."

The rain was too loud, so many raindrops hit the face, it was impossible to open his eyes, but Qi Jingchen still stared at Shen Zeming.The eye sockets began to congest and swell due to too much force, and the fundus of the eyes was red, which looked a little scary.

Shen Zeming didn't speak, and Qi Jingchen went on to say: "You said, you won't want me, you won't abandon me, and you will spend every birthday with me from now on."

"Three nights ago, you said that Shen Zeming would never leave Qi Jingchen."

For a long time, Shen Zeming didn't move at all, just like a lifeless marionette, he just stood there in a daze, waiting for the master's control.

After a while, he folded his hands behind his back, dug his nails into his flesh, and said in a steady voice, "I'm sorry."

"You know what everyone thinks of me." Shen Zeming looked straight ahead, still not looking at Qi Jingchen, "I'm not a good person in the first place, and I often don't count what I say. I'm mean and shameless."

"Those words—" he paused for a while, then took a light breath, "it's all a joke, don't take it seriously."

"Okay." Qi Jingchen nodded, "Okay."

"But today is my birthday, my birthday wish..." Qi Jingchen spoke slowly, almost begging, "You have to help me realize it."

"My wish is not to break up."

Shen Zeming shook violently.

At that moment, his heart almost stopped beating, as if it had been taken out of his chest, leaving only a void.

He was about to be overwhelmed, and wanted to tell Qi Jingchen that it was Shen Zelin who he didn't want.

But he can't say anything.

For several nights, the Qi Jingchen in his dream turned into the boy who jumped off the building, lying on the ground bloody and mutilated, soundless, with blood like sea waves beneath his body.

He doesn't want Qi Jingchen to die.

So Shen Zeming shook his head sullenly and said, "No."

Maybe he didn't realize that he was choking, because the next second, Qi Jingchen rubbed him into his arms, and a voice with a smile sounded above his head.

"Yu Xiaoliu, you are lying."

Shen Zeming's eyes were so sour, he gritted his teeth for a while, pushed Qi Jingchen away cruelly, and said loudly: "Qi Jingchen, after today you will be an adult, be decent, why should I lie to you."

For a long time, Qi Jingchen stood in front of him, with liquid dripping down from his eyes together with the rain.

He seemed to be holding back his breathing, gritted his teeth, and seemed to have no strength, and said, "Shen Zeming, you don't want me anymore, do you?"

At this time, the bell rang for the end of get out of class, and the door of the roof was kicked open. Old man Li and the English teacher who followed behind rushed in together.

Seeing the two standing in the heavy rain, old man Li was stunned for a moment, then walked over in the rain cursingly, pulled the other with each hand, and said angrily: "What's wrong with you two? What's the point of leaving it here in the rain if you don't have class? Come with me The office made it clear!"

No one moves.

Old man Li gave a "tsk", with a very ugly expression on his face, "Why? You don't want to move? I don't believe it—" "Mr. Li." Shen Zeming interrupted him, "We have nothing to do, it's just a conflict between classmates. solved."

After he finished speaking, he took a step back without looking at anyone, turned around and ran out.

Old man Li intuitively felt that the atmosphere between the two was a bit weird, so he frowned and looked at Qi Jingchen again.

Before he could say anything, Qi Jingchen also chased him out expressionlessly.

Old man Li held his breath in his chest and almost didn't recite it.

The next class was mathematics. Old man Li went back to his office, changed his clothes and walked into the classroom. He didn't see Qi Jingchen and Shen Zeming. He has been teaching for more than 20 years, and he has never felt so bloody at that moment.

Holding the mentality of breaking the pot, the old man Li called the parents respectively, but no one answered the phone. He cursed a few words and had to go back to class with a dark face.

Shen Zeming was imprisoned by Qi Jingchen in an abandoned utility room in a certain unit building in the community.

When he came out from the rooftop, the rain stopped. Shen Zeming didn't intend to go back to class like this. He skipped class for the first time since high school. utility room.

There are a lot of things piled up in the utility room, and because he hasn't been here for a long time, the air is full of dust and musty smell, Qi Jingchen tied him to the only chair in the utility room.

He did not know where to find an iron chain and locked his ankle with a lock. On the low cabinet next to him was a fruit knife that looked very sharp.

Shen Zeming should feel scared, but he felt a severe pain in his chest, as if he couldn't feel anything except sadness.

Qi Jingchen stood one step away from him, looking at him calmly, not vulnerable, not at a loss, his eyes could even be regarded as terrifying.

After a while, he looked away and said slowly: "I used to have a cat, I liked him very much, so I locked him in the basement of my house, gave him food every day, and bought toys with pocket money Play with him."

"But one day." Qi Jingchen's gaze fell on Shen Zeming's face again, "The cat ran out by itself, and he ate something that was fed by others, and rubbed his cheek against the palm of that person."

"He doesn't want me anymore."

"Later, the cat died, and I killed it."

Shen Zeming heard the words, looked calmly at the fruit knife on the low cabinet, and said in a calm voice, "Then you will kill me."

I don't know why, the second he heard these words, Qi Jingchen frowned lightly, and the calmness in his eyes fell apart.

He picked up the fruit knife, took off the outer shell, and put the tip of the knife against Shen Zeming's neck, with an expression as if he wanted to eat people, "You think I dare not?"

"Is it only after death that you will not be separated from me?"

Shen Zeming glanced at him and said in a low voice, "Yes."

Qi Jingchen became indifferent for a moment, and there was no other emotion in his eyes, replaced by a suffocating hatred.

"You are cruel," he said.

Shen Zeming felt that the knife on his neck was pierced a few inches, it didn't hurt much, but it was still itchy, so he smiled, closed his eyes and said, "I'm sorry."

But in the end Qi Jingchen didn't do anything, he threw the knife, stared at Shen Zeming for a while, his eyes were bloodshot, as if he couldn't stand it, he closed the door and walked out.

Strings of tears rolled down, Shen Zeming bit his lips tightly, he knew that Qi Jingchen hadn't gone far, he was leaning behind the air leaking wooden door.

It might hurt, but it hurts.

He raised his head and gasped for breath, and when his voice was no longer choked, he said to Qi Jingchen through the door: "I'll kill me when you come back."

Soon there were footsteps outside, from near to far.

Qi Jingchen left.

Shen Zeming waited until evening, but Qi Jingchen didn't come either.It was dark, and there was no light here. For no reason, Shen Zeming's heart was beating heavily. He fumbled to untie the rope, dragged the chair and walked to the door with difficulty.

There was a voice-activated light outside, and the chair slid quite quietly, and the light turned on in response to the sound, and Shen Zeming saw the key placed at the door.

Qi Jingchen locked his key.

He shook his hand twice, bent down to pick it up, and unlocked the lock on the chair leg. He felt that he should run faster, so he ran quickly.

He ran home, Song Lan and the others just came back from the outside, their expressions were a little sad, and then Shen Zeming heard Shen Zelin gleefully say to him: "Qi Jingchen and Aunt Sheng are gone, they have gone abroad, and they will never come back in this lifetime. "

Shen Zeming immediately let go of his strength, and slid down against the wall as if he had no bones.

Qi Jingchen really left.

But the last thing he said to him was not happy birthday, but I wait for you to come back and kill me.

How could he be so cruel.

Shen Zeming thought.