I accompanied the flowers that year

I was just talking casually.

I gritted my teeth and stomped my foot, "If you can't, you can't. If you don't go to school, you will become a useless person sooner or later. I don't like useless people."

Xiao Yu's eyes became a little gloomy, and then a faint light rose again, "Then, is...is it...you like me when I become a useful person?"

"Yes." I bent down and comforted me: "Xiaoyu study hard and come back to help me when she is successful in her studies, okay?" Anyway, it's the last day, so it's better not to make the atmosphere too stiff.

"Really?" Xiaoyu's eyes were shining, and I could see that there was hope for the future in Xiaoyu's eyes.But the spirit still seems to be not very good, I can't see a smile on his face, "You really like me?"

"Yes... yes," I replied vaguely. I think this relationship will be forgotten after he returns. "At that time, Xiaoyu will be able to help me even more. If you don't come, I will I have to go back and pick you up, and then you don't even think about leaving."

Xiao Yu couldn't stop nodding, "Yeah, my grades in our class are very good. I've always been No.1. No girl in our class can surpass me." From Xiao Yu's point of view, what I said may be Rest assured, in my opinion, it is just another irresponsible promise of mine. I always thought that he was still young, and all the promises I made would fade away over time, but I never thought about it. Children are often more serious than adults, and they will keep every promise in their hearts, but it happens that they meet someone like me who is irresponsible and makes promises casually.

"That's good." I stroked Xiao Yu's hair.

Xiao Yu picked up her backpack and started to walk out, looking at his little lonely back, I really wanted to hug him and say, Xiao Yu, stay here, never leave.

But I can't, after all, Xiaoyu is not my child, does not belong to me, and I will have my own family in the future, our abnormal relationship should be the end, Xiaoyu should have her own dream, shouldn't Restricted by what I let him see, the outside sky is still very vast, and studies are the key to open the outside world. Without it, you can only be sealed in the world in front of you.

I got in the car again, it seemed that Xiaoyu and I had just arrived in this city not long ago, and we were going back now, and after sending him back this time, when we set off again, I would be alone again, Xiaoyu and the newcomer There was a stark contrast when I came here. When I came here, I was very novel about everything here, and I kept asking questions, but now...

More just silence...

The closer I get to the village, the more I can't calm down. I know that my happiness during this time comes from Xiao Yu, and I also know that Xiao Yu has brought me a lot of courage. I don't know, if Xiao Yu is gone, it will already be How can I survive these days when I am used to it?Leave me alone with cold walls and empty rooms?

Maybe, I shouldn't let go so easily?

But what can I do to keep him, how can I keep him, what am I?uncle?brother?or it could be……

I was startled and frightened by my own thoughts, because these thoughts have become more and more intense recently. I insisted on sending Xiaoyu back to give myself some time to think, no, to prevent myself from thinking about it again. this matter?I want to kill my abnormal mood in the cradle. If it develops, I am not sure whether I can give up this budding relationship, but the feeling just now is obviously that feeling. It far exceeds my feelings for ordinary children. It was just a moment ago that I really wanted to understand my feelings for Xiao Yu, but is this my real feeling?Is it just reluctant?I can't really fall in love with him, can I?He's obviously just a child, right?

Or is it too late for me to kill the idea, it has already spread all over my body?

I am a little scared, afraid of this kind of abnormal feeling that I have, afraid of my feeling that is against the society, and even more afraid that I can't control it. What kind of feelings does Xiaoyu have for me? Is the sentence that I want to be Di's wife a made-up decision, or is it just a joke that children don't understand about men and women?

I thought a lot in the car, and I thought it was right to send Xiaoyu back. No matter what, it is always right to kill this relationship. Pour off with water.

We didn't talk along the way, I was always troubled by my own emotions, and Xiao Yu kept silently lowering her head and peeking at me from time to time, then retracted her gaze in a panic, repeating all the way.

Although I understand that Xiao Yu is reluctant, I can only pretend not to see it.

My heart is still confused by this relationship, but what I don't understand is, is this relationship misleading me, or he misleading me, or the two of us misleading?

I thought he should have figured out what happened last time. Looking at his performance today, it is obvious that he has not given up yet, but what can I do?

I can't do anything, because, I know very well that I am in such a problem now, the same problem has tortured him and confused me, my heart will never lie to myself, I also like him, exactly For me, although I don't want to but I have to admit, I - fell in love with him.

I fell in love with Xiao Yu, who is ten years younger than myself and is a boy.

What I am afraid of is whether I am actually the only one who has touched this forbidden love. After all, Xiao Yu is still a child, and it is reasonable to rely on me. Children of this age do not understand the distinction between feelings and misunderstand It’s not an exaggeration to think that this kind of dependence is love, but if I fall into a trap, he will understand instead, what should I do, won’t I be the only one left in the end?

No, no, this shouldn't be what I don't think about. No matter who is trapped, he has to come out. If Xiao Yu is only dependent on me, I should be happy. It means that I didn't lead him astray.

But, why, my heart hurts when I think of this.

This section of the road suddenly became very long and very short. It was really hard to endure the torment in my heart. Although I was determined to give up, every time I made up my mind, I started to waver again. The shortcoming is that I really want to stay with Xiaoyu for a while , really wanted to enjoy the atmosphere when he was by my side for a while longer, but it was at the stop.

When I sent Xiaoyu home, I bought some supplements for his grandma. Grandma thanked me for taking care of Xiaoyu and insisted on treating me to a meal, but I declined politely. I'm afraid I won't be able to survive this period of time. I think he gave me the salvation of my soul and the support of my belief. I can't get in touch either. The burden of life is too heavy. I really want to let go and stop worrying about it. All I need is a knife to slide down the arteries in my wrist, and I don't have to bear anything. I feel that everything has become brighter, he is cheerful and lively, I like his persistence, his innocence, and his coquettishness, maybe, I rely on Xiaoyu more than I know in my heart.