Peacock

I sat on the window sill and played Zelda. I didn't advance half of the main storyline all night, just wandered around the map, cooked a meal occasionally, and then paid attention to Tang Ling on the bed.

He kept his eyes closed all the time, but I always felt that he should not have fallen asleep. Maybe he didn't think that I would just lock him up at home.

To be precise, I locked the two of us together at home.

On the night of the funeral, Tang Ling and I walked along the road for nearly an hour before we met a taxi. I was afraid that Tang Ling would just temporarily comfort me who had just been too violent and pretend to obey, so when I got home, I locked the house from the inside with the key. Then nervously threw the key out of the window in front of him, and then hid the spare key in a corner that only I knew, along with our mobile phone.

I never asked him if he was really sober when he fled with me that day or if he was kidnapped by my morals. I don't care about these, I just want the result.

Tang Ling felt that I was unreasonable, that night he searched my house all over, and in the end I helped him smash things together, and he gave up after a while, just like he never believed that I could like him for a long time, He doesn't believe me now, and the move wasn't really a whim.

I felt that I could never catch him, and this feeling became more and more clear after locking him up.

Yesterday, I went out after he took medicine and fell asleep. I planned to buy some food, but when I passed by the camera studio in the city center, I saw the wedding dress displayed in the window.

How could he wear this suit for a dead man?

I stood at the street corner for a long time that day, and then I went in and asked for a brand new set as a spare, and bought all the small items that came with it.I put the bag next to the bed when I got home, but he never seemed to notice.

I put down the switch, first changed the medicine for the wound on his hand, then put the groom's dress on him, fastening the complicated buttons one by one, as if he was wearing this dress for me now .

That look is even more beautiful than I imagined, inexplicably, it will make him look a little smug, a phenomenon that has almost disappeared in him.

In the moist light under the window, I lit the pair of dragon and phoenix candles with Tang Ling's lighter, and the jumping torch burned the bronzing patterns on the candles to shine.There was no candlestick at home, so I didn't know where to put the candle, so I had to hold it in my hand.

The medicine he took has an auxiliary effect of suppressing REM sleep, which can be regarded as a dreamless night.I always feel that Tang Ling will look a little dreamy after he is asleep peacefully. Although this word is not appropriate, he does not look like a real person at this time.

My eyes fell on his lips, and I leaned closer as if I was bewitched, but before I touched his lips, Tang Ling opened his eyes.

I was so startled that I shivered back quickly, but Tang Ling grabbed my arm with a big hand, and I had no way out.

Tang Ling blinked her sleepy eyes lightly, her voice was low and hoarse: "Yu Zhen, don't you feel that you are sometimes inexplicable?"

"Obviously you can do everything outside, why do you always pretend to be timid?"

"...I didn't pretend." I didn't know what to say, the messy words were stirring in my chest, and it took a long time for me to speak again, "Because I don't care what people outside think of me."

Tang Ling raised her sleeve and looked at the pattern on it: "You only care about me?"

I didn't answer, just promised: "Tangling, the funeral will be over tomorrow, just wait until the funeral is over."

Tang Ling actually smiled: "Only you can do such a thing."

"Maybe." I said, "...but I didn't seem to be like this before. I've always been very obedient, and I'll do whatever I'm asked to do."

"When I was just 17 years old, my parents came to see me, but they quarreled fiercely that day. In fact, I never thought that they could still quarrel. I thought they had treated each other as strangers for a long time. I heard my mother It is only my hand playing the violin that maintains them now, otherwise they should have started a new life on their own. My father rarely agrees with her opinion. After all, I must have the opportunity to stand in a place that he could not reach. But I think they should be over, so that night I gave a lot of money to the gangster on the street, and asked him to slash my hands a few times. Take the money and run away."

After speaking, I realized in a trance: "It seems that something has been wrong since then...Old Xu said that normal people can't do this kind of thing, and he said that the choice is not good for any party."

Tang Ling looked down at the candle in my hand: "Do you regret it?"

I shook my head: "I don't like playing the piano."

"...Actually, thinking about it now, I still regret it a little bit." I blushed and kissed the tip of Tangling's nose, "You should come and see my tour, I'm sure you'll like me more."

Tangling looked at me for a moment, then sat up slowly, took my hand, and scraped off the solidified wax on my thenar.

The skin was burned with mottled red light spots, he touched it, and asked a little childishly: "I don't feel it?"

"It hurts a little." I said vaguely, "It's a lot hot."

Although it would be a bit exaggerated to say so, but I was distracted by watching Tang Ling just now, and I really didn't notice that the wax dripped down.

Tang Ling leaned against the bedside and took the candle in my hand, tilted and half-hanging in the air, the melted liquid from the top fell down, like blood, falling drop by drop on my collarbone socket.

Probably the skin here is thinner, or it may be that my concentration has begun to concentrate. This time I was so hot that I gasped for air, and then let out a low cry.

Tang Ling pulled down my loose neckline, allowing the wax oil to fall deeper, one by one, and then fell on my nipples.

Burned, coagulated, and peeled off, he repeated it two or three times. Every time I was scalded, I would wonder if the top layer of skin was broken. It hurt a little, like a newborn, and then he scratched it with his cool fingertips. In such a sensitive place, the pain and itchiness made me want to escape, and my whole body twisted into an unnatural posture. Slowly, I couldn't support my kneeling body anymore, so I had to collapse limply on the edge of the bed to breathe.

The nipple on one side was red and swollen, and there were mottled wax shavings, while the other side just stood there obediently. I looked at Tang Ling above in confusion, and pinched this side with my own hands. , but it seems that no matter how I do it, I can't make it there, so I began to believe that there are some things that only Tang Ling can do.

I hugged his calf, entwined tightly like that corn snake, and my body began to move up and down unconsciously, as if everything stood up, tightly against his shin.

Tangling brushed away the ends of my hair, and the scalding liquid visited the skin on my vertebrae again. I couldn't control myself, tears and saliva soaked his thin clothes, not only these, but I also felt that my underwear seemed to be wet too. Thoroughly.

I climbed up again, trying to hang it on his shoulders, but Tang Ling propped up his knees, and the bony bones were pressing against my crotch, and then he began to exert force slowly, pushing there.I no longer have the concept of so-called orgasm. I am on the verge of pain and euphoria. I seem to have fallen into a psychedelic state. This critical blur is stronger than drinking. feeling of time.

It hurts everywhere, and in a daze, I just felt some warmth start to drip from the gap between my thighs. Looking at Tang Ling's beautiful face, I began to lose strength, and then convulsed, and my consciousness escaped completely for a short time. A moaning expression.

Tang Ling approached me and whispered in front of my lips: "Yu Zhen, you made me wet."

I tried my best to calm down, and looked down with flustered eyes, only to see a large area of ​​dark color stained on Tang Ling's pants, and I gradually realized that there must not be so much semen.

The first emotion that swallowed me was embarrassment, and for the first time I thought maybe I was really disgusting.I never thought that I could do such a thing after I was able to walk, and... it was still in a situation where Tang Ling didn't do anything.

I was at a loss for a while, and got up in a panic, but when I stepped on the ground, my legs were weak for a while. Seeing that I almost fell to the ground, Tang Ling wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me back.

Sitting in his arms, I can feel the softness of two layers of wet cloth even more.Seeing him blowing out the candle, remembering what it brought just now, I shyly covered my face with the back of my hand: "Tangling, am I abnormal..."

Tang Ling tilted her head and said, "Yes."

I started to get depressed: "It wasn't like this before. Before I came to Baima, before I met you, I used to do it once a month...but now it's too much. Is there something wrong with me? You will think Am I disgusting?"

Before Tang Ling could speak, I hugged him nervously, and said indiscriminately: "It seems that I have never been able to figure out what is the right choice, and I also know that sometimes you probably want to kill me... But next time I won't let you go." Yes, it doesn't matter if you are locked up or just like that just now, I won't do it again in the future."

Tang Ling smiled frivolously, and looked at my trousers again, as if doubting whether my verbal assurance could really regulate my physical response.

Seeing him like this, I was so anxious that I wanted to cry, afraid that after all these ridiculous things were built up, he would not want to look back when he walked out of this door tomorrow.

Probably aware of my anxiety, Tang Ling pinched my fingertips and said softly: "At least here, between you and me, everything will be taken for granted."

He pinched my chin lightly, forcing me to meet his eyes: "But I want you to be more obedient in the future, understand?"

Hearing him say this, I realized for the first time that tolerance does not seem to appear often in my world, at least the parents who were closest to me could not do it, so I have always thought that the only option is obedience .

I don't think "who will save who" hypocritically, because we all know this word is too sacred, from the beginning to the end, I just want to drag him to die together, the boredom will always come, hold hands just before that Just leave, it's a bit of a crazy idea, but I hope one day he thinks the same way.

The rented room had a projector with very low resolution, and Tang Ling and I watched "Trainspotting" on the wall that night.

It's obviously inappropriate for me to say it's my favorite movie, since in fact I haven't seen much of it before.

Once I watched it with my live-in daughter, and she kept asking me, what does this movie want to express?These people will rot to the end, haven't they changed their minds?Did I say that all movies must have profound meaning?Do only those who can create value deserve to exist?Then she said I was an idiot and had nothing to talk to me about.

Guess what the train is talking about, it seems that there is nothing, no dream and no theme, just the ups and downs of a few addicts' lives.But at that time, I saw them running and robbing, but I felt a strange brilliance.I think that's the way I live. I know that what I do must not be right, but it's ridiculous that this is the way I really exist.

Tangling doesn't ask stupid questions like others, he is special, he told me after watching it, let's have a good time, no matter what happens in the future.Before parting, I will be with you.

Why is there a difference?There will be no difference, I think.

Layton and I plunged into the toilet together, the swirling water carried a channel, and those addictive things led the Star Bay of Baima to Walden Pond, where I lived and drowned.