Peacock

What is Guangzhou to me?

The building lit up at 24 o'clock, the concert hall far away from the airport, and the tea house that is always full.

After I bought a new mobile phone, I booked a ticket for the night, and I felt dizzy for the first time when I was on the plane. This feeling is actually a bit strange, like Van Gogh stretching his pen to paint on the dry paint in my brain. After stirring, those flowing curves twisted and twisted, magnifying and magnifying my emotions in a useless way.

The self-righteous shame came all over the sky. When my teeth were shaking, I couldn't understand whether it was because of fear or anger. I just couldn't understand how Tang Ling could take me so seriously and just leave.

As if trying to get rid of all wandering thoughts, I rushed to that address without any respite.Lacking social experience, I took a black taxi at the airport. After entering the urban area, the driver led me around the inner ring road in Guangzhou. Not to mention, I thought he was looking for the maze of the brave. exit.

At around eleven o'clock in the evening, the torture finally ended. The driver threw me at the entrance of a narrow alley full of kapok in Yuexiu District. The reason was that the car couldn't drive in.

My arm doesn't move, but when I move it hurts so much that I wrinkle my face. It took me two hands to force the door open.After getting out of the car, I read the license plate and walked all the way to the end of the fork in the old alley. Finally, I stopped at the door of a tea restaurant. I happened to meet a woman who turned off the lights and came out. Shutter doors.

I rushed forward a bit abruptly and asked, "Hello, are you the owner?"

The woman looked at me with a satchel on her back. Seeing my accent, she also used substandard Mandarin: "What's the matter?"

It was difficult for me to organize my words for a while: "Do you know Tangling?" After I finished speaking, I felt that something was wrong, and then I added anxiously, even incoherently, "Is there anyone named Tang in the store? Or who's?" Relatives and friends with this surname..."

The woman patted me on the shoulder, and pressed a series of urgent inquiries behind me back to the bottom of her throat: "What do you want him for?"

I felt like I was about to cry, and I didn't even have the energy to get to the bottom of it. I only thought about the answer: "He really came back? Can you tell me where he is?"

Surprisingly, she didn't have any defenses, and just led me into the shop and sat down.In order not to cause unnecessary trouble, I used the identity of Tang Ling's college classmate when I reported my family to her. I realized that it was not appropriate when I met her confused eyes, because Tang Ling said that my face looked Like a junior high school kid who pulls out the front desk ponytail.

Fortunately, she also had a baby face, and she didn't doubt me anymore, so when she said she was Aunt Tang Ling, I also showed the same puzzled look.

"Something happened at home, he came back yesterday." She explained, and then took out her mobile phone, "I don't know if they are eating or going to do something now, I will ask his uncle for you."

On the one side is the vernacular that I don’t understand, I can only support my knees and look at the environment freely. There are many posters on the wall of this restaurant, most of which are from movies. Xu Zheng was posted as a neighbor, standing on the Tokyo neon bushes in Kiarostami, Wanma Caidan's "Crashing to Kill a Sheep" exclusively occupied the feng shui treasure at the door, just like holding an event on top of green and white tiles. The large-scale era collage exhibition is really cool, so it always makes me feel that it doesn't fit well with this old street.

Aunt Tangling hung up the phone, followed my line of sight, and suddenly said to me: "This was posted when Tangling came back last time, and then he helped us post the store on some website, what are we doing?" I don’t understand, but the business has improved a lot since then, and girls often come to make films.”

I stared at her blankly, and heard her start to sigh out of nowhere: "Tangling has had bad luck since she was a child. I remember it very clearly, because no one would believe me if I told him about it. He was the first student in junior high school." When I came to Guangzhou once, I just married his uncle. I saw him bored alone in the ward, so I brought a deck of cards to draw turtles at night. As a result, he lost all night, and he really never won! No matter who he is There are a few left in his hand, as long as the tortoise is in his hands, it won’t be taken away by others.” She added with a smile, “I saw him in the middle of the night searching his uncle’s mobile phone to see if the tortoise has any skills!”

She looked at me: "Tang Ling doesn't have too many friends, it's good that you can get along well in the future."

I still lowered my head slightly like that, and after a while I heard her say "I'm baa!", and I covered my eyes with my sleeve a little nervously.I seem to just feel very lucky at this time point. Obviously, the general public will have the warmth from their families, so Tangling shouldn't have it. After taking away so many things from him, it would be great if he could return a few more.

She handed me the paper in a hurry, and it really was a family. She and Tang Ling couldn't handle this situation either, so they had to change the subject to answer my previous question.

"His uncle said that he had finished eating at ten o'clock, and Tang Ling should have gone home early." She said, and she read Tang Ling's home address to me.

As if I had won some treasure, thanking you twice was not enough, and I made a few untimely bows in a panic, then turned and ran out of the alley.

In fact, when I sat in the back seat of the taxi, I was really anxious to the extreme. I was afraid that there would be no one there, and I was also a little afraid of meeting his parents. In my impression, Tangling basically never told me about his family. , I don't know what attitude I should use to communicate with them.

But none of the things that were rehearsed in my mind happened.

That community is on the bank of the Pearl River, and it stands taller than the surrounding buildings alone. The planning inside makes people experience jungle adventures. If I didn’t find the road signs in the bushes at last, I guess I’d have to spend the whole night. Spin around the community garden.

Go up to the fourteenth floor according to the address. There are only two households on the first floor. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, I saw a figure on the window sill.

The clear light from the elevator fell on him, but he didn't respond as if he lacked perception. He just sat on the window sill in the stairwell, not angry at all.He arched his back, his whole face was buried in his palms, every joint was abnormally jagged, and his vertebrae stood tall pervertedly, as if they could be shattered if folded.

I stared at the unsuspecting Tangling in a daze, and forgot to blink for a moment, until my eyes were so dry that I realized it, and went forward to pull his wrist.But I didn't expect that the support would be so weak, but with a slight tug, Tangling fell from the window sill towards me, and her whole body was pressed into my arms.

I hurriedly used all my strength to support him, and I could smell the alcohol on his body. He seemed to be so drunk that he couldn't even regain consciousness, and his whole body was inexplicably hot.

Stretching out my arms, I hugged him, and buried my face into his neck. I smelled the familiar peppermint in his hair, but found that there was some burnt smell mixed in it inexplicably.

It was really hard to get rid of the miss, I began to rub the hot skin on the back of his neck procrastinatingly, and the hand that hugged his waist tightened even more.

Finally regaining his awareness of the outside world, Tang Ling tried to straighten up, but the sudden weightlessness forced him to reach out to support the wall in a hurry, and touched the elevator button to light up red.

In the dim light, his wet eyes swam over my face condescendingly, like a child bursting out of curiosity in a period of confusion. He whispered my name uncertainly.

I just hugged him tightly, holding back a sentence for a long time: "Why do you drink so much wine?"

The temperature in my arms was indeed abnormal, and I subconsciously reached out to touch his forehead.But as soon as the fingertips touched the hot skin, Tang Ling clasped my wrist with all her strength, and even though she couldn't even stand still, she still pulled me away from the front.

"Stop fucking following me."

Just saying such a sentence to me calmly and hoarsely, Tang Ling didn't look at me again, turned around and walked towards the door step by step, propping up the wall.

At that time, I thought he said hurtful things just because he misunderstood me and left without saying goodbye. I just thought this reaction was so frivolous that it was hard to understand.

"Tangling!" I stood stiffly on the spot and yelled towards his back, choked up after a while, "...Did you receive my text message?"

Tangling didn't answer, or she didn't hear me at all, she leaned against the wall in a daze, and started to look for the key in her pocket.

I ran to him, thinking that my mother jumped from the third floor and found Guangzhou from Baima just to see you, not to listen to this.The grievance finally fermented into anger. I gritted my molars and pulled his clothes, forcing him to look at me.

And Tangling just let me hold his collar tightly, turned his head and glanced at me, his slightly longer forehead covered most of his eyes.

"Why do you say such things all of a sudden?"

"I told you from the beginning that I hate people lying to me the most."

"You just want to find an excuse to throw me away!"

"As you wish."

I felt that I must have a mental problem. The self-esteem formed by shame and anger was gradually dismantled, and finally tore me into a mess.

"Did you hate me? Did I do something wrong? Please don't be like this, Tangling, Tangling, don't want me."

Tang Ling restrained me from stretching out my left arm hastily. I don't know if it was a bone or a muscle. The severe pain hit me, making me moan uncontrollably.

To my surprise, Tang Ling immediately relaxed, frowning and looking at my distorted expression.

Taking advantage of the dim light, I noticed the mottled and bruised blood on my forearm left by jumping off the building. It was necrotic and showed a gnawing purple. These days, I was only thinking about finding Tangling, but I didn't look carefully.

Then I interlocked Tang Ling's fingers with this hand without thinking.Is it advocating your own worth?At that time, I couldn't hold back the satiation on my face, but moved closer to my body aggressively: "Tangling, I jumped from the third floor to see you. Although I didn't die, I was real when I jumped. I feel that it doesn't matter if I die, I will be free if I jump out, and I can be with you if I jump out. Has anyone done this for you before? Surely not. You should have known that there is no There's someone more willing than me."

Tang Ling's pupils tightened, and waves appeared on her originally calm face. Although it was very faint, an emotion resembling pain emerged.

There was no other sound for a while, only Tang Ling and I's chaotic breathing echoed in the corridor.

"Yu Zhen, let's go."

Before he finished speaking, Tang Ling numbly felt in his pocket as if he couldn't bear anything. There were a lot of banknotes in it, and only a few scattered bills were sandwiched between them. The rest were almost all the largest denominations. All the brains were stuffed into me, and because of my tightly clenched palms, they fell to the ground one after another, like firing red salute guns.

"Go to the hospital, go home, go play and find the next one, whatever." He said, "Let's go."

Probably physically uncomfortable, he sat down on the fire box next to the door with some exhaustion, and pressed his upper abdomen tightly with his palms. First, he lowered his head to calm down the dizziness, and then slowly raised his eyes after a long while, using a strangely indifferent look. Looking at me, as if she saw me turn and leave before she was willing to give up.

I was so sad that I couldn't say anything, I just huddled silently and sat by his lap, not daring to meet his eyes anymore, my body began to tremble involuntarily, and my teeth repeatedly touched each other like an ice cellar .

I only now feel that to Tang Ling, I am probably like a poor-quality advertisement that was pasted on his body so easily, and it seems stubborn, but it is easy to take it off. A few pieces are fine, anyway, I can always tear it clean after a few more tries.

After a brief stalemate, Tang Ling began to realize that it was unrealistic for me to obey and leave immediately, so she stood up unsteadily, and went to the elevator instead.But he couldn't hold his balance at all, and the taller and thinner he was, the lower he bent. Before he almost fell, he clapped his hands on the door frame again, breathing weakly.

I was about to cry when I looked at his back, and was finally torn into pieces as he wished, and I almost roared: "I'm leaving!"

"...Just make sure you don't fucking burn me to death in the middle of the night, okay?"

Tangling pampered me for the last time. To be exact, he didn't realize it any longer.

I helped him back home, his house has a long entrance, the furniture is complete and neat, it is really different from his messy rented house in Baima.The outermost of the five bedrooms is his room, because I saw the initial D on the bookshelf at the door.

Maybe because no one has lived there for too long, other people in the family have already put away his bed, leaving only a bare bed board, so I had to turn and help him into the guest room beside him.

Then I started to clean up the mess, boiled water, searched for medicines in the living room, took my body temperature, and took a short break after finishing the odd things one by one.Standing by the bed and looking at his furrowed brows, I began to wonder if I should go.

But how can I guarantee that such a small amount of medicine will really work?So I said to myself as a matter of course, I can't go, just wait a little longer, it's too irresponsible to go now.

I first sat on the ground with my upper body lying on the edge of the bed. I didn't even notice why I got closer and closer to him. When I came back to my senses, I could feel the heat from his body on my cheeks.In the end, I gave up struggling, and procrastinatedly pressed my forehead against his skin, rested my pillow on his big arm, and stared at his face silently.

He probably didn't know that when viewed from this angle, people would be recognized as fish, and the pointed chin would form an ambiguous triangle, much like the mouth of a tuna.

My heart was very astringent, but the first thing that surfaced was the hatred that could not be defeated at all.I don't understand the reason why he chose this time to let go, I don't understand why he must leave, I don't understand why he is not even willing to pretend to get together and leave, I don't understand everything about him at all.

I have never had such complicated emotions towards Tang Ling before, and I can't even tell the boundary between love and hate.

What hurt me the most was that he wanted to get rid of me but he was unwilling to find even a slightly more formal reason. I began to recall the days of Baima uncontrollably, trying to find all the clues that he was tired of, only to find that I was actually not at all. He couldn't capture his emotions, and he couldn't even perceive whether it was true or false from the very beginning. In front of him, he would always be a person who voluntarily lost his light.

I don’t know how long I’ve been looking at him like this, but then too many dark and sinful thoughts came out of my mind like malicious growth. For a moment, I caught a glimpse of the fruit knife on the bedside, and I started to think, just put the knife away like that. Come into his hand, then hold his hand and let him witness how the knife enters my body, will the hot blood be hotter than his current body temperature?By then I'd probably still be making some wisecracks, which were poking something into me anyway, and it really didn't matter what it was, as long as you did it.

As her body temperature began to drop slowly, Tang Ling sweated a lot, and her pale skin became as flushed as if she had been soaked in boiling water.

Originally, I just found a towel to wipe his sweat, but when I lifted his shirt, when my palm was properly attached to his skin again, suddenly, great sadness overwhelmed me.

I didn't know what I was doing, I just stretched out my hand and gently rubbed his lower lip, it was obviously such a soft place, how could I say such hurtful words?

After the medicine took effect, his brows finally relaxed, and he just fell asleep so docilely, probably sleeping with a good dream.

Will there be me in the dream?

I leaned up to kiss him like a demon, first pushing up his lips like a puppy licking water, and when it was completely wet, my kisses began to return from the corners of the lips to the center of the lips, and then pushed open his slightly gapped teeth, Touch the tongue of Tun Tun.

I have always been so disorganized when kissing with people, and I often hurt myself a lot. In fact, it didn't take long for me to kiss, the saliva dripped down the whole chin, and rubbed Tang Ling's face wetly.

I knelt on the bed and sat on top of his hip bones. I didn't need to tilt my head too much, and the kissing seemed to become calmer.I held Tang Ling's face with both hands, forced myself to the verge of suffocation before I thought of pulling away, panting in front of his lips in panic.

Probably due to muscle memory, my waist began to sway slightly on his crotch uncontrollably, because in the past days, I used this kind of dawdling to carefully quench my thirst, so that I would not want to lose weight during the foreplay given by Tangling. Always revealing the impatience of the obscene demon.

I confused myself, but I could still feel the hard lump on the back of my ass.The hard pack even slammed into my butt seam stiffly with my confirmed seatback, the rough denim stacked around the hole.

I trembled all over, and the movements of kissing Tang Ling were also patted in disorder, and I accidentally knocked my tooth, which was painful and numb.Tang Ling snorted softly, feeling the pain in a daze, but he stretched out his tongue and softly licked my bleeding upper lip, like a kind of subconscious comfort.

My heart gave the physiological response first, and began to beat impatiently again, not only the chest, the neck, the pressed arms and thighs, it seemed that I could feel the strong agitation of the arteries.

I think I must have been infected by Tang Ling, otherwise I would start to feel hot all over.I took off my clothes with half-eyed eyes, and took Tang Ling's hand to touch my upper body. My breasts were raised very high, and the nipples shrank into a small size when Tang Ling's palm was rubbed. One, and then shrugged straight into his palm.

Then I touched the hard heat with my backhand. Now that I think about it, it's just a physiological reaction of drunkenness, but I attribute all the changes to myself.Originally, I didn't expect to continue, but after dawdling for a while, I felt more and more uncomfortable.

Remaining awake for the last time, I got off him in a bit of a state of embarrassment, lay down beside him, and hugged his whole arm naked again, tears rolled down my face.I was so sad that I wanted Tang Ling to get up and hug me like before, whether it was playful or serious, I wanted him to kiss me, call me cute or even a demon, but I knew that if he woke up, all of that would be wrong. There will be again.

I let go of my hand first, and moved further away from him. While weeping and looking at Tangling, I rubbed the full white pillow impatiently. The pouch was rubbed by the silk cloth, and the wet water came out from the front. Dye the pillowcase a dark spot.Feeling dissatisfied, I tried to ride on that soft pillow and move my waist as before, but in fact it was two extreme touches.I painfully knew that I shouldn't do these things, but in the end I couldn't overcome my instincts. I could only start to learn how to obey my nature like an undeveloped lower animal.

I thought Tang Ling would feel uncomfortable holding it in like this, so I lay on his lap and unbuttoned my pants.I stroked and moved repeatedly until the penis was so hard and hot that it filled my entire palm before stopping.

My weak left hand clasped Tang Ling's ten fingers on one side, and my right hand supported the root of the penis. I started to lick the stigma, and I kept raising my eyes to see if Tang Ling would respond.After a short period of peace and quiet, I drooped and put the entire shaft of the shaft into my mouth. When I fell, I still didn't stop the force. The penis poked my throat, bringing out a tight retching feeling, although it was very uncomfortable. , but I didn't retreat immediately, but tried harder to hold it deeper.

I tasted some salty fish on the top, so I spat it out again in a daze, and without any preparation, I sat down while holding Tang Ling's penis.

It was very difficult at the beginning, and it slipped away after rubbing against the acupoint a few times, so I used my index finger to try to open the back acupoint, thinking about cutting the mess quickly, I sat down calmly.A tearing pain spread from behind in an instant, but I was still moving up and down numbly.Gradually, the resistance of the condom became smaller, and the layer where the inner wall and the genitals fit together began to have a more moist experience. I subconsciously reached out and touched the joint, only to find that the blood was coming out.

I decided in my heart that Tangling must still be asleep, so I became unscrupulous, I stretched out my hands and clasped Tangling's ten fingers tightly, and gently pulled his arm into my arms, "...Tangling Tangling, it hurts so much, Hug me."

But his hands were just resting on my body so vainly, and I couldn't help crying on him, grievance, pain, fear, despair, too many emotions pressed on me.

I was blinded by crying, and the annoying tears made me unable to see everything around me clearly.So I wanted to lean down again to ask for a hug, but before I could completely bend down, I felt something grasping my left jaw.

I blinked in a panic, and the tears in my eyes fell on the bridge of Tang Ling's nose. The vision repeated the clear moment, and I saw Tang Ling's waveless eyes.

I held my breath in embarrassment, but there was nowhere to escape, I could only lie on his palm in such a daze, my lips trembling.

"Don't you talk a lot?" Tang Ling said hoarsely, "Why don't you talk?"

My eyes were red: "...I don't talk a lot to everyone."

The current Tangling seems to be different from the one outside the door, but it doesn't look like he regained his vitality when he was in Baima.He looked at me like this, and his emotions seemed to be two meaningless thin words, without love or anger, and he saw through me a farther place that I couldn't know.

I tried to get off him with weak legs, and the water dripped in front of me when I stood up.Probably he really saw my reluctance to end, raised his hand and pinched my waist and sat up, the penis pinned me back again, I was so excited that I lost control, moaned vaguely, and adjusted impatiently Angle, I just hope that the strong sense of penetration can be slightly smaller.

With the mentality of trying, I hooked his neck, sat on my knees and moved up and down again. The pain had already calmed down, and only the monstrous pleasure remained.Either intentionally or unintentionally, I softly stuck out my tongue in front of him, and then uttered all the lewd sounds stored in my memory.

Tang Ling was still dizzy, and started to fumble for a cigarette in the trouser pocket at the head of the bed, lit one in front of me with one hand, and wandered around me with wandering eyes.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?"

"...I don't know, I don't know what to say."

Tangling's face was completely expressionless, but she rubbed my earlobe and said something sensational: "Say you love me until you can't sleep at night, say you don't want me to leave, say you always cry because of me, Say you want me now."

"Is it fun, Tang Ling." I only felt a great humiliation, "Before I decide to really give my heart to you, don't look down on me like this."

"Didn't you give it to me earlier?"

"That night you said you were the truth, so what you said was also the truth. I am the most beautiful person in the world." Tang Ling lay down on the bed and smoked, and the smoke spread out like a dream, "You love me too."

I bit his wrist desperately, but he took the opportunity to put his hand on the side of my neck, and slightly hooked me into his arms.

"I want you to tell me, now." Tang Ling's breath lingered on my lips, "Say you love me."

I don't know what I'm competing with, I just pursed my lips tightly and stared into his pupils, but I didn't find myself inside.

"There is no one I can't survive," Tang Ling suddenly grabbed my neck viciously, as if to confirm something, he calmly repeated, "It's you, only you."

I started to feel the airway constricting like it used to, and this time I didn't struggle to let him go.

Physiological and emotional saliva and tears were mixed up on my face. I raised my head and opened my mouth, staring at him absent-mindedly. The limit of suffocation gave me supreme pleasure, and my genitals trembled tremblingly. In an instant, a large puddle of semen dripped out, dripping onto Tangling's stomach.

In front of my eyes, Tang Ling's face was blurred to the point that it almost disappeared into a cluster of color, and I seemed to see the end of my desire all at once.In the end, I weakly put my hands on his wrists that pinched my neck, and said in a dumb voice, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I can only love you.

I just repeated it over and over again, but the one who raised the white flag first was Tang Ling. He covered my mouth completely with his other hand, as if this would send all my chattering back to the original place.

I don't know why he relaxed slightly, so I took advantage of the gap to lower my eyes and slightly turned my head, and took a very hard bite at the position of his tiger's mouth.

As if she lacked the sense of pain, the expression on Tangling's face didn't change much, she just let go of her hand completely due to conditioned reflex.I was breathing urgently, swallowing the oxygen around me unsatisfied, and soon I grabbed Tang Ling's hand that was about to shrink back, and climbed over backwards. I bit down on the inside of my wrist, and finally I leaned forward, and with a "bang", I slammed him against the head of the bed, hugged his neck, and bit his left collarbone fiercely, the teeth marks went deep into the mouth. Flesh and blood spots slowly floated up from the potholes, leaving hideous scars in the future.

The smell of rust diffused from the surface of my tongue, and began to spread in my world in an overwhelming manner. I suddenly smiled: "What is this called? Let me think about it, the lesson of blood."

Soon, the sadness and anxiety that hit me wiped everything out. After a long time, I said again in a trembling voice: "At least don't forget me in this life."

Unexpectedly, I got a hug.

At the beginning, this hug was very light and polite, and gradually became heavier and heavier, and finally almost made every inch of our skin touch. I didn't know how to react, but I just lay on his shoulders stiffly.

I began to feel calm, the end of all mixed emotions, just like the black in color.

"The swimming pool in Peacock Mountain. I told you that I can live and live for everyone, but death can only be used once, so I can only die for one person in this life. At that time I asked You, can that person be you." I saw the moonlight cast our entangled shadow on the wall, "... Then after today, I feel that I can't live, but who else can I die for?"

All of a sudden, I felt warm wetness coming from the back of my neck. I tried to look up at his face, but I couldn't move because of Tang Ling's tight grip.

At this moment, the world has become a complete silent movie theater. It is clear that we are closely connected in every place, almost in the blood, but I still can't seem to hear his inner voice clearly.

This silence was finally broken by Tang Ling.After a long time, he let me go, I saw his red eyes, and heard a sentence full of confusion: For the truth, let's not see each other again.