Mr. Chen doesn't love me

After two weeks of my one-sided "cold war," we made up.

There is no reason for reconciliation. If I have to say it, I can't leave him.

I must be careful, I must not be willful.

In this relationship, I have always looked up to him.

I have been haunted by this boundless sense of inferiority.

In fact, if I want to go back to the inferiority complex that has penetrated into my bone marrow, I can only attribute it to my unreliable parents.

My parents divorced when I was in junior high school.I was quite sensible at the time. When they said they were getting divorced, I sat at the dining table and nodded obediently.

I shouldn't have compromised so quickly then.I should have questioned them, pissed them off.Because my nod at the dinner table may have misled them into thinking that I had no opinion on the decision to divorce.

They have both reunited their families since then.And I lost my home overnight because of a divorce agreement.

At first, I'd be hanging around in their new home, like a guest.Until the second year of high school, I got pneumonia, which was very serious.Both of them are from rural background and have little money.The two had a big fight at the entrance of the hospital because of my medical bills, which later attracted the police to dissuade me.

Since then I have gradually become estranged from them.I've always been alone.After all, whoever I went to was an outsider.

Parents have a great influence on children.I was an example, after that I tried to enlighten myself a lot, but it didn't work.Subconsciously, I felt that I was inferior and that I was easily abandoned by those around me.

This is something deep in the bones and cannot be changed.

So when I faced the mature and gentle Mr. Chen, my clamoring inferiority complex swept my consciousness.

As long as I can be by his side, even if it is just a "lover", I will compromise.

To my surprise, after my cold war passed, he returned to China for a trip.

I poked my head inward at the pick-up area at the airport, and saw a slender man in a neat suit from a distance.

Mr. Chen stands out in the crowd.He is like a noble son of the upper class, polite and elegant in his gestures.

I bounced through the crowd and waved him.He smiled at me and raised his hand slightly.

I took his arm and walked with him to the parking lot.The driver of his domestic company came to pick him up with me. The driver took the suitcase and followed us very considerately.

I was really happy that day. His sudden return to China made me have a little imagination.I wonder if his return to China has a little connection with my two-week cold war?

Sitting in the car, I wanted to ask the exit several times, but I held back.

Thank goodness I didn't ask.

Before getting off the car, the driver told him about his current situation in the domestic company, and the company encountered a little trouble.

So don't be too arrogant, he didn't come back to China for me at all.

Mr. Chen and I went back to my house. My house is rented. It is next to the school. It is convenient for me to go to work.Although the house is small, I furnished it very comfortably.

On the way, I met the security aunt of the community. She knew me very well. She had met Mr. Chen several times and knew about our relationship.

"Hey, Mr. Su, your friend is here? Look, you're so happy!" Auntie teased me with a smile.

My face suddenly turned red, and I felt that if my aunt said a few more words, my face would be able to boil eggs.

Mr. Chen watched my smile from the side, and stretched out his hand to my face.His hands were cold and slippery, very comfortable.

"Ms. Su is shy?"

I rubbed my face against his hand, lowered my head and said nothing.

When he got home, he tidied up my messy coffee table.I forgot to collect it before I went to pick him up.He is like this, things must be arranged neatly, I sometimes suspect that he has obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Because he returned home suddenly, I am so happy.So much so that before I went to take a bath, I hung on him and insisted on pulling him to wash with me.

As a result, the two of us wiped guns and fired in the bathroom.

At that time, the arrow was on the line.

I propped my hands on the sink and raised my butt up high.Let him come in directly, he won't listen.

"Wait here for me, I'll get the condom." He gently rubbed my hair, held my face, and kissed my forehead.

"Farewell, Mr. Chen, come in directly."

He pinched my flushed face and said in a slightly serious tone: "No."

I know it's because of the time I went to the hospital before the cold war, he might be afraid that I would feel unwell again.

At this time, I think he still loves me.

We sleep together at night.He is very strange, my rental house seems to have magical powers.He is a light sleeper, and he wakes up when I turn over.But as long as you sleep in my house, you can sleep very deeply.

He drove me to work the next day.I will wait for him at his company after get off work.

I love that he's back home.Because the country is my territory.Here I can sit in his car and meet his colleagues.

I am free and equal to him.

But whenever he returns to China, I can be sure that our romantic love is real.

Such a love divided into regions may not last long after all.

And all of this will end about two years and five months later today.

Today I was thinking, it should be over.

Today, I came to country M.

I didn't tell him before I came, I wanted to surprise him.I called him when I got to the airport.He was really surprised and asked me to wait for him at the airport.

This waited for more than four hours.I didn't wait for him.It was a stranger who came to pick me up, probably his colleague.

The first time I saw his colleague in country M, he was still alive, and I was quite puzzled.I texted him trying to identify this "colleague".

He reassured me that this was just a surrogate driver he called.

I'm quite disappointed.

I can't even see my colleagues, and I'm still a shady lover.

The valet driver didn't take me home, but just sent me to a nearby supermarket.He also said that he was "arriving" with me, which made me quite puzzled.I looked at his order, and it turned out that the destination Mr. Chen filled in was really this supermarket.

I pulled the suitcase and walked for almost half an hour before arriving at our apartment.

As soon as I entered the house, Yuan Bao quickly threw herself on top of me.It's heavier than the last time I saw it.

I sorted my luggage at home, and then started tidying up the room.

He should be very busy recently, so he must not have cleaned up the room.There was already some dust on the window sill.

When I finished tidying up the room, I sat on the sofa.Yuan Bao ran over and rubbed against my leg.I was very surprised, it was not so lively before.

I reached out to touch its head.It suddenly sat down on the ground and stretched out its paws to shake hands with me.

I was stunned, I never taught it this.

I slowly sat on the ground, turned on the TV, and asked Yuan Bao to lie on top of me and watch it with me.

It must have eaten a lot recently, and its appearance is invisible, but its weight is not deceiving.

I pinched its paw and stroked it slowly.

I'm used to touching it like this.Last year, I broke a glass and injured Yuan Bao's claw by mistake, resulting in a very shallow scar on the center of the claw.Although it doesn't seem like a big deal, I've always felt guilty about this scar.

At this time, there was a movie on the TV, which told the story of a couple who were suspicious of each other.

I touched Yuan Bao's paw, and my back seemed to be sweating slowly.

My hands are shaking.I scratched my hair and wiped my face.Slowly reach out and turn its paw over.

For a moment the air seemed to stand still.

Its palm is smooth and clean.

The movie was playing on TV. The hero found out that his wife had cheated on him. In the camera, he leaned against the wall with a relaxed expression.

I, outside the lens, looked at the golden retriever in front of me, as if he had stopped breathing.

This 200-square-meter house makes me feel a little cold.The house smelled of tobacco on Chen Yi's body.I used to be the most obsessed with this flavor, but now I'm a little scared.

There is only one possibility.

Even if Yuan Bao died, this golden retriever was bought by Chen Yi as a substitute.

That golden retriever looks very similar to Yuan Bao, even if you carefully identify it, you can't detect any clues.

If it weren't for the scar on the paw, I might really have been making mistakes all the time and treating this dog as an ingot.But how sad should my weak and introverted Yuan Bao be?

Yuan Bao has a good temper. I let him stay on the balcony obediently, and he didn't get angry.Its paw is injured, and it won't yell.It will just lie beside me silently, watch TV with me, and accompany me to correct my homework.

In this Nuoda apartment, I was accompanied by the clumsy Yuanbao.

I looked at the golden retriever in the living room.

This man is really powerful.To find such a dog that looks like Yuanbao.

He didn't like small animals at all.If Yuan Bao died, he might not be sad.Now, Yuan Bao is likely to have been buried by him.

I want to question him now, where is Yuanbao and why Yuanbao died.

I wanted to hit him, I wanted to yell at him.

In fact, there is no need to ask, the balcony is dusty.He may be busy working outside and hasn't been home for a long time.Yuan Bao probably died because of his carelessness.

I sat on the floor and watched the movie with glazed eyes.The two protagonists have changed from husband and wife who respect each other as guests to enemies who never get in touch with each other.

The seeds planted in my heart germinated and took root in an instant.

I slowly think back to these three years and five months.He never said he loves me, he never brought me to meet his friends, whether he goes home or not depends on how busy he is at work, he doesn't even care about the ingot that accompanies me.

I was enlightened.

It turned out that I had been deceiving myself and others.

You see, in fact, Mr. Chen doesn't love me at all.