filled

"I can't see it."

Yan Zheng touched his chin, and smiled at him calmly: "Maybe it's a small wound."

Shi Fangman helped him shave in the direction of his beard, and then in the opposite direction again, completely removing the short, hard stubble.Turn off the machine, and apply the towel soaked in hot water to Yan Zheng's face again. Just doing these things, it took less than 10 minutes to survive, but Shi Fangman accumulated tiredness that he didn't know where he came from, and he took a nap. Yawning, I missed that soft bed again.

"Is it clean this time?"

"Yeah, brother, touch it."

Shi Fangman dodged the outstretched hand, but clearly saw the protruding joints and blue blood vessels on the back of the hand. In the time he didn't realize, the boy grew into a youth, and even that hand was also an adult. look like a person.The palm was wider than him, and the fingers were longer and even stronger. When Yan Zheng caught up with him and grabbed him, Shi Fangman couldn't shake him off at will.

Holding that hand, he closed the door, and walked up the spiral staircase. When he reached the top floor, Yan Zheng was willing to let go. In the hot summer, even at night when the sun goes down, he would use the hot The air waves fumigate one's five senses, and after touching it for a long time, the palms of the hands become sweaty. When you push open the iron door on the top floor, you can see the dark blue sky, which is high, deep, and endless. A blue yurt was built inside, with no exit and no way to escape. The only option was to find a comfortable position to sleep in, either for a night or for a lifetime.

21:12:26

Ineed your love

The clouds are thick and the stars are dim, but there are countless stars falling on this side of the platform. The white rose vines climb upwards, and among the small and fine flowers are shining fragments of stars. Holding a slender transparent wine bottle, the amber liquid in the glass flickered in the candlelight.

A gust of wind blew through the rich and sweet fragrance, and a person handed over blood-red and gorgeous flowers.

"Sit down and eat."

While speaking, two small petals fell down, like splashed or spilled blood, sprinkled on the retina.

Shi Fangman didn't dare to take it. Adults are good at pretending to understand when they don't understand, or deceiving their ears and stealing their bells. They are all familiar to them. Yan Zheng asked him to sit down, but he hesitated between turning around and walking away, or sitting down, or moving forward. After going out, I missed the roses that had dropped a few petals because they were too blooming, suppressed the sourness in my chest, clenched my unconsciously trembling palms, and sat down against the chair.

There was a light rattling sound behind him, and when Shi Fangman passed by, Yan Zheng put the flower in his hand into the empty cup on the table, the petals were heavy, and fell to one side, bright and charming, swaying and blooming on Shi Fangman's lips.

"..."

The crimson color was so close, Shi Fangman looked away, and subconsciously pushed the glasses that had fallen on the bridge of his nose, but felt the rough and uneven texture, just like the rose vines inlaid on the newly replaced frame.On the opposite side, Yan Zheng had already raised the wine glass in his hand, tilted his head and smiled and urged: "Brother, how about a drink?"

Shi Fangman's complexion is the fairest among the crowd. The milk-like whiteness against the silver-white mirror frame on the bridge of his nose has become dull and colorless. The small vine pattern stretches upwards and disappears into the black ear. In the broken hair, the loose white shirt buttoned to the neck wrapped around his thin body, and he took a big sip of wine in a hurry. The wine rolled down his throat, and the chest covered by the shirt trembled.

"Cough cough cough..."

It's easy for a man to drink alcohol, but when he choked again, a layer of pink appeared on the tip of his nose and cheeks. The pink color was light, but he couldn't stand the white background. Yan Zheng still felt itchy, and the more he looked at it, the more he fell in love with him.

"Before I went to elementary school, my favorite person was the nanny at home..."

Yan Zhengxuan's ice wine was very suitable for Shi Fangman's appetite. After he drank the wine in the glass, he took the bottle and filled it again, and drank slowly.Alcohol paralyzed people's vigilance, and Shi Fangman visibly relaxed, holding the wine glass in one hand and mopping his cheek with the other to look at him, Yan Zheng smiled and told him in a soft tone.

"My mother was young at that time, and she didn't want to raise a child after giving birth. Yan Xiaoyuan wanted to take me away, but she still didn't want to."

"She said she was lonely."

"I have been drinking milk powder since I was a child, but she doesn't feed me, saying that I will become unattractive; I always sleep by myself, but she doesn't accompany me, saying that I have a shallow sleep and will not sleep well; I often don't see her for a week , couldn’t say a word, she said that I was too young, and I couldn’t bring a crying and fussy doll with me when I went shopping and traveling.”

"But actually, I'm really obedient, brother, do you believe it? Even the most obedient child in the kindergarten, the most obedient child you have ever seen in your life, is not as obedient as I was then..."

"But she said I was noisy, but she said she was lonely."

"She watched the nanny feed me milk powder, and after she finished drinking, she put on a mask and came to give me a candy as a reward. I woke up in the middle of the night and went to her room to look for her. She woke up very quickly, turned on the light and found that I was gone. Putting on socks, she covered my feet with her hands. She never took me out to play because Yan Xiaoyuan didn't recognize me. Her parents didn't even know that she was a mistress and had children. She took me out and had to pretend Not born to her, let me call her sister. She doesn't like that, like I'm a child without mother and father."

"She doesn't treat me like many mothers, but she likes me," Yan Zheng smiled and shook his head: "But I thought she hated me, so I told myself that the person I like the most is the one at home who will cook for me, The nanny who will sleep with me and take me out to play."

"And before my mother jumped off the building, I didn't know that she actually liked me, and I should like her too."

"At that time, we had already lived in Yan's house. When I was six years old, I was going to elementary school. Yan Xiaoyuan recognized me. After a few years, Yan Li's mother jumped off the building, and my mother walked into Yan The gate of the house, counting one year, eight months and 23 days from that day, she jumped from the same window at 02:30 in the afternoon, when the sun was at its worst, and someone took a firecracker and set it outside the door. Celebrate that evil is rewarded with evil, and retribution is not good."

"I lived at home later, and I would think of her every day when it rained. When she jumped off, she probably had just cut the hydrangea branches, and there were light blue petals on her clothes. The rain was very small, and the blood splashed out. And brain pulp, or rainwater, I can't tell the difference between those liquids mixed in the soil, but it's just a very shallow layer, which can't cover the few petals, and rushed to my feet along the water flow."

"Yan Li was crying too, louder than me. Yan Xiaoyuan was far away and didn't dare to come over, so he stood outside and waved, calling for his son, and the ambulance personnel pushed me over, but I didn't want to Let's go, I saw it, what he was looking at was not me, but Yan Li, who was trembling with fright and crying all the time, when he spoke, he only stared at that direction, and it was only that direction that he waved at, without even a single glance Didn't glance over."

"Her eyesight was poor, and her quality of life was poor. When she died, relatives and friends severed relations with her because she was a vixen and forced her original spouse to death. Yan Xiaoyuan also began to admire those more beautiful and younger girls." Women, and me, I hate her existence, making Yan Li scold me and beat me all day long, and what I hate the most is not how much he scolds and how painful it is when he beats me, but because he speaks so righteously, I don't even have the qualifications to refute."

"But that day, she died, and I was pushed away from her, and suddenly I didn't hate her at all."

Yan Zhengdao: "I am the same as her. She is afraid of loneliness, and I am just as afraid of her."

"Only by having family members can one not be lonely, and only by liking can one not be lonely. I didn't realize this truth until after she died. But it was too late. I don't have anyone I can call liking, and the only family member who likes me is gone."

The past is not a story worth telling, but he met the eyes of that person across a table full of cakes and flowers, and unreservedly exposed the real past.Yan Zheng read in the book that people said that compatible couples must be complementary, like protruding ribs and vacant hearts, and finally merged into two complete people and a happy life.But he walked through the streets and alleys of the city where he grew up. Every day the sun rises and the scenery he sees are so brilliant, which are completely different from his silent and gloomy heart. To fill up the accumulated coldness, people like him will be jealous and crazy, and they will cater to the disguise. The brighter the place, the more he will show his smile and perform on the stage of survival. Until one day the stage collapsed, he could no longer act, the lies were exposed, and the life he had fought for was broken into two halves, each of which was pierced in his cold and indifferent heart.

The warmth he wanted, the warmth that Shi Fangman gave, was the light coming from the basement, and the fragrance of flowers coming out of the vents.With a special body that is different from the common world, and a family member that he never talks about, Shi Fangman's eyes covered by thick glasses are as lonely as him.

Yan Zhenghong leaned forward with eyes circled, put his hand on the table, and was able to hold Shi Fangman's hand holding the wine glass only a little distance away: "But then I met a person who was like a family member, he was very handsome. Well, very temperamental. The important thing is, I really like him, the first time I like someone, I have no experience, I don’t know why I like it, I don’t know how I should like it, but I think I should tell him all this.”

He lowered his voice, clasped the cold wine glass and fingers with the same temperature in his moist and hot palms, lowered his head, and looked at people with his eyelids raised like a poor and helpless dog. In the candlelight, the tea-black eyelashes and