The high-risk occupation is actually me

One does not know how unrealistic an actor's performance is until one has experienced it.

It turned out that under the extreme shock and grief, I would not shed tears or hysteria, and I didn't even know how to run my brain, and I couldn't even ask why.

Just like Hua Ci is now, standing blankly, without any expression, the brain is blank, and the heart is also blank.

Xiao Ci, take good care of my brother...

Send you to Jiang Chendong's bed.

Help... Xiaoci, don't be afraid...

The pit for burying you alive was dug that year.

Small words... Small words...

It was criss-crossed back and forth in my ears, and I couldn't hear clearly, but there were voices everywhere, calling his name.

Huaci held onto the handle of the solid wooden chair and took a hasty step back. He wanted to shake his head, he wanted to say that he didn't believe it.

In the fine weather at the turn of spring and summer, Hua Muzhi and Li Mingjuan took a rare long vacation. Hua Ci hadn't seen them for a long time, and was full of joy. The family of four sat at the dining table and had a perfect breakfast together.

Li Mingjuan poured him a glass of milk, pushed it in front of him, and smiled softly: "Xiaoci can't be picky eaters, see how well my brother eats, picky eaters will not grow taller."

He was already 17 years old that year, and Li Mingjuan was still as gentle and beautiful as a white and elegant lily, and he still treated him like a child.

In the world of Huaci, she and Hua Muzhi are the first time to annotate the gentle object.

Hua Muzhi watched him finish drinking the glass of milk, and said, "Xiaoci, let me meet a friend today, he is very helpful to our family's business, you also go to meet me together."

Hualei muttered next to him: "Ah, why are you both busy with work and taking my brother away with me, so you don't take me to play while I'm going to go to a hobby class!"

That year, Hualei was nine years old. He had just had a quarrel with Wu Yuexin. Huaci wanted to avoid suspicion. He hesitated whether he should reject his uncle and auntie, but he raised his eyes and met Huamuzhi's smiling and gentle eyes. Li Mingjuan was there too. With anticipation in his eyes.

He was always indifferent on the surface, but in fact he was very close to them in his heart, he couldn't help nodding, and told himself that it was the last time.

One last time to mix things up with business.

The three of them got into the car, the atmosphere was harmonious, talking and laughing, Huaci's mood at that time was as bright as a precious sunny day when they reunited after a long absence.

The morning of the car accident was forever fresh in his memory, reincarnated again and again in his countless dreams, and he always woke up from the dream crying, blaming himself for why he nodded.

He asked himself countless times, if he didn't nod his head, didn't promise his uncles and aunts to meet their friends, if he had said earlier that he was not interested in business, if... they wouldn't have died.

But it turned out that there was another reason behind it. The sunny day was followed by a dark, squally storm.

And behind those eyes that looked at him with a gentle smile, was the eerie purgatory on earth watching.

The heart seemed to be tightly bound by thin wires, and the force continued to tighten until the heart cracked and blood burst out.

Huaci's heart ached like a wrenching headache, and he had a splitting headache. He covered his heart and slowly bent down, breathing heavily, as if all the oxygen in the space he was in had been taken away.

Under Shao Yunxiu's wild laughter, Hualei grabbed her like crazy, with a ferocious face, blue veins clearly protruding from his neck, his whole body was shaking, and he kept exerting force in his hands. He really wanted her to die.

And Shao Yunxiu was also completely crazy, lying on the floor with a purple complexion, the voice in her throat was pinched like a broken bellows, still laughing, still laughing.

"Flower tired, hahahaha, you are scared, and you know it... This gift from me, my little aunt... Hahaha, do you like it..."

Hualei gritted her teeth, lifted her and slammed her on the floor, her voice hoarse: "You are all lunatics...why, why am I with you, why..."

When he rushed in just now, he was too hasty and didn't have time to close the door. The staff standing outside already felt that something was wrong, and now they were almost killed, so they finally rushed in in fright.

Hua Ci was pushed away from the crowd, as if he had been an outsider from beginning to end, and had never really understood anything.

The crowd was noisy and hurried, as if countless people passed by him, Huaci finally endured the severe pain and raised his head, and met Hualei who was pinned to the ground by his backhand in the crowd.

Suddenly a line of clear tears poured out slowly from Hualei's red eyes, and slid down to her chin bit by bit, hanging on her jaw.

He didn't struggle any more, and was held motionless, just looking at Huaci, with only one tear.

Hua Ci couldn't understand the heavy emotion in his eyes, but his heart seemed to be cut and shattered repeatedly by a blunt knife. Looking at the tears, it hurt to the extreme.

After this day, Hualei disappeared. He was first forcibly taken away from Tangquan Villa, and then Huaci and Shao Yunxiu were also imprisoned in the police station to make notes. Tired of finding flowers.

The car door was opened, and the cold wind came in, but Hua Ci still sat stiffly like a sculpture, until Feng Zhe sat in, and then slowly turned to look at him.

"I didn't see Hua Lei. The police said that someone took him away. It should be someone close to him. Don't worry." Feng Tang knew what he was most concerned about.

Hua Ci reflected his words in his mind, turned his head, said "OK" in a hoarse voice, and said after a long time: "Thank you, I always have to trouble you."

"No, we won't talk about this."

Many hotel staff were also taken into the police station to take notes. They talked about the whole story in a hurry. Feng Zhan was a little terrified after hearing only a few words, so he hurriedly grabbed a person and asked him exactly what happened.

He didn't know what words to use to comfort Hua Ci now, all words were pale in front of this kind of thing, Feng Zhe took a long breath, and turned his head first, he wanted to cry a little.

I want to cry for Huaci.

How miserable people are, does it have to be on him alone?

How many good sleeps has Huaci had over the years?In the first year, he often could only fall asleep for three hours a day for several months, and the next few years were often nightmares. His 13 years of life were overwhelmed by guilt all the time.

He watched everything from the sidelines, and even though he knew that Hua Ci had accepted the life-saving grace of the Hua family, he still felt that Hua Ci had sacrificed his whole self, and his life was too hard.

Now that the truth is so ugly, it can no longer be described in three words: unworthy.

Hate and pain, but they are all so powerless and impossible to pursue. No one can let him vent his emotions, and no one can even ask him why.

Feng Tang rubbed his face, his eye circles turned red, and cursed hard in his heart.

God is really blind.

The wind from the south brought the first ray of warmth, everything revived, and the first young branches began to regenerate, and it was the familiar spring and March of the year.

Huaci's life has undergone tremendous changes in silence, which is deafening that only he can hear. He seems to be living his life step by step, and it seems that everything has changed.

He signed a contract with a photography studio back in the UK, one of the careers he once wanted to do, and he sent a new contract in the warm spring, and then came home to see the unexpected but Another reasonable person.

Chen Zhenjin explained the reason for his visit. Hua Lei has not been in the company for nearly a month since then, but many things in the company require the documents and materials he kept at home. Those are company secrets, and even Chen Zhenjin can't get them in person. , I can only ask Hua Ci for help.

Huashi, the Huashi he had worked so hard for.

The corner of Huaci's mouth curled into a self-mockery, he instinctively wanted to refuse, but when he looked up and saw Chen Zhenjin who was rarely anxious and earnest, the refusal he wanted to say stopped at the corner of his mouth.

Chen Zhenjin seemed to see his reluctance, stepped forward and said dryly: "Mr. Hua, I really didn't want to trouble you at first, but Mr. Hua... Mr. Hua can't get away recently, so you can help me Busy, please, just go back to the previous home to get some documents, soon."

He probably didn't know anything, but because he was in a hurry to work, he was desperate and dragged on for more than a month before he couldn't find it.

Huaci had worked in the group before, and he knew how anxious he would be when he lacked a document, and there was really no need to embarrass him as a worker.

Seeing him nodding his head, Chen Zhenjin couldn't hide his joy, he bowed and thanked him.

Huaci and Hualei moved in half a year after the car accident in this urban area. They lived there for ten years and carried countless memories. It should have been one of the most familiar and favorite places in Huaci's life.But after only two years away, I felt a little strange when I walked in.

In fact, nothing has changed, the furniture has not moved or increased or decreased, even the flower in the vase on the dining table before he left is still a rose.

It seems that it has just been changed today, with a little bit of fresh dew, and it is delicate and charming.

Huaci stood at the door for a moment, then turned around and said to Chen Zhenjin: "Then you wait here, I'll go to his study to get it."

Even when the relationship between brothers was the best in the past, Huaci did not often go to Hualei's study room. There were a lot of documents and materials piled up on his desktop. The documents Chen Zhenjin wanted were probably hidden deep in the cabinet. Huaci With that in mind, I opened a few drawers to look, and closed them again if I couldn't find them.

And after subconsciously closing a drawer he had already looked for, he froze severely, and reopened the drawer just now.

Lying quietly in the drawer were two notebooks and a mobile phone. They were styles from many years ago, but they were all well preserved. The familiarity made Huaci feel sore.

The top one should be his diary, Huaci hesitated before opening it.

This diary was written by him when he was very young. Most of the time he recorded his happy moments. There were quite a few mentions of Hua Muzhi and Li Mingjuan. Just as he was about to throw it back, he found that half a page of the diary was written under his own name.

Half of the densely packed words of Huaci, mixed with elder brother, are all written in Hualei's handwriting, written very small and densely packed together.

Huaci was stunned for a moment, and subconsciously looked over line by line, and saw that there was a sentence in his name that was very heavy.

"Brother, when will you come back, will you come back? I don't blame you for not wanting me, I just miss you."

This was probably written by Hualei during the two years he was away. Huaci's heart seemed to be stabbed unexpectedly. He slammed the diary shut, took a short breath, and sat on the floor without moving for a long time.

His gaze was fixed in the air for a while, Hua Ci looked again at another book in the drawer, and he took out this book, which was thicker than he remembered and should have been thrown into the trash can by him. , fingertips trembling slightly.

Turning to the first page, it is his own green handwriting more than ten years ago - Huaci's Travel Guide.

The only difference is that there is an extra line of small words below: Hualei's guide to traveling around with his brother, followed by a small red love heart.

Hua Ci couldn't help reaching out to touch it, and a gully was easily hammered into the heart that seemed dead for a month.

He turned slowly, every page was filled with Hualei's handwriting, the new strategy he had searched for carefully, the place where he wanted to play with Huaci, his little wishes, and his infinite blessings were all completely covered Keep it whole in this handwriting book that was thrown away by Hua Ci.

It turns out that there is a person in this world who always remembers his dreams and cherishes them more than himself.

Huaci turned to the first destination that he wanted to go to at the very beginning, and saw Hualei's childish words that were far different from the present.

"If I confess my love to my brother in such a romantic scene, he might agree to me."

The last few words are crossed out.

"Maybe you won't hit me."

Huaci suddenly gasped in a low voice, and let out a choked sob. He stroked the words written in the years he ignored over and over again, raised the corners of his mouth as if he wanted to laugh, but finally couldn't help but drop it. tears.

After many years, he saw this clean and transparent confession for the first time.

?【The author has something to say:】

Chapter 64 Hahahaha, my younger brother confessed to his elder brother, but he didn't say it himself, my protagonist can also