Spring comes and snows home

Suddenly a strong wind blows, snowflakes hover in the air, and the wind rustles on the withered banana leaves in winter.

Qin Yan stepped on the ankle-deep snow all the way, stood in front of the small courtyard and stared for a long time, brushing away the snowflakes on the banana leaves with his fingertips, he turned red from the cold as soon as he stretched out, sighed, and retracted into the fox fur again.

Aunt Li leaned over to say hello to him, and handed out Mrs. Tang.

Qin Yan held Mrs. Tang in his palm, and fixed his eyes on the humble bamboo shed deep in the courtyard alley.The snow on the small bamboo shed has obviously been cleared once, and the overlapping silver chains on the brightly colored clothes of the little figures shone faintly in the pale sky.

"Did he dig out the longevity lock and clothes last night and put them here?"

Aunt Li leaned over: "Yes."

Qin Yan sighed and said, "Go and call the doctor over."

Aunt Li obeyed her orders and withdrew.

After a long while, Qin Yan entered the wing room, which was double-burned with charcoal fire, like a scorching summer day, Qin Yan took off the fox fur to keep out the cold, and covered Ruan Yang who was curled up under the quilt.Reaching into the quilt, pinching Ruan Yang's cold fingertips and gently kneading, hoping to awaken his old warmth.

Before Ruan Yang woke up, Qin Yan knelt on the bed rail, stroked his pale face with his fingertips, and stroked every inch of his face with distress.In the past, the ink-like eyebrows gradually faded to a silver-white light in the winter, and the bloodless cheeks and lips were as pale as the snow falling outside.

"Brother, thank you for taking me to Brother Yan."

"Brother, thank you for bringing me braised pork."

"Brother, is Brother Yan very busy recently? Did he ask you to come and see me?"

"Brother, what about Brother Yan, I...I miss him a little bit."

Suddenly, Qin Yan's hand was grasped tightly, Ruan Yang squeezed his palm tightly with his cold fingertips, then let go of his hand suddenly, sat up suddenly and tightened the quilt, nervously said: "Little bottle, brother, brother said to Take me out!"

"We, let's take the baby, shall we?"

Qin Yan immediately hugged him into his arms, stroked his hair that was almost frozen into ice, and comforted him softly: "Yuan An, it's me, Brother Yan is here."

Ruan Yang tried his best to distinguish the voice, and murmured: "Brother Yan's voice, is it like this?"

Ruan Yang spoke very hard, his chin moved against Qin Yan's shoulder, Qin Yan patted his thin as ice back, and teased: "Yuan An thinks Brother Yan is old?"

"No, Brother Yan, I suddenly... suddenly don't know you." Ruan Yang leaned back and suggested in a low voice, "Can you let me touch it?"

"it is good."

Ruan Yang's eagerness to try implied a little mischievousness, recalling the appearance of Qin Yan in the past with his fingertips.

The gentle long eyebrows made the fingertips itch, the long eyelashes on the deep eye sockets trembled slightly, and the fingertips fell down, resting on the beard that had grown up on the chin. Ruan Yang felt it was funny, touched his clean chin, and stretched out his hand to tease him He tugged Qin Yan's beard twice.

Qin Yan was not annoyed, and let him make trouble, and only focused on the smile gradually revealed when Ruan Yang slowly painted his face.

"You're not Brother Yan, Brother Yan doesn't have a beard. Brother, do you want to get a fake beard to deceive me again, I'm your little brother-in-law." Ruan Yang immediately put away his fingers and snorted under the quilt , "Brother, although you have the same appearance, voice, and birthday as Brother Yan, you are not Brother Yan."

"I know him," Ruan Yang murmured again to make sure he knew Qin Yan, "I know him."

"Yuan'an." Qin Yan tried to dispel his panic.

"Don't pretend to be Brother Yan..." Ruan Yang curled up again in the quilt, and said angrily: "It's winter, I'm going to hibernate, otherwise it's cold, my body is so cold, so cold. Brother, you will soon Go back soon, the weather is too cold, be careful of the slippery road when you go back, it hurts when you fall, it’s not good, it will hurt.”

It was not the first time Qin Yan saw Ruan Yang like this, but every time, it made him feel very distressed.

"Yuan An."

"Brother, I have told you many times that only Brother Yan can call me that."

Qin Yan knew that his illness was getting worse this winter, so he pondered for a while and said, "Brother asked me to let Dr. Zhang come to see you, you have to be good, don't struggle and run out, it's cold outside, brother will feel distressed."

"Well, brother, I won't run, it's cold outside." Ruan Yang nodded, and huddled in the corner of the bed obediently.

Aunt Li led Dr. Zhang in, and Dr. Zhang coaxed him for a long time. Ruan Yang stretched out a fingertip, scratched the edge of the quilt and refused to let go, and said softly: "Doctor Zhang, hurry up, I'm cold, it hurts when I'm cold."

Doctor Zhang stretched his hand in to feel his pulse, and coaxed softly, "Is it cold? Is it colder than before?"

"Well, it seems that there are ice cubes in my body. They are going to freeze me, and I can't move anymore." Ruan Yang smiled happily, "Can the ice cubes inside be stored in summer? Summer is very hot, and I can't move anymore." It hurts like a fire."

Ruan Yang was poisoned by the change of the political party back then. In recent years, the symptoms have become more and more serious. The stove, Ruan Yang still felt pain all the time. Whenever Qin Yan came, he saw him rolling back and forth in a small corner of the bed, and heard his voice saying that it hurts.

In the end, he was a little afraid to go in.

Dr. Zhang frowned tightly, coaxing him to lift the quilt, and pierced the heart with a silver needle. Ruan Yang endured the pain and forced to bite out some blood, and the blood color of the protruding silver needle was quickly covered with a layer of frost.

After careful observation, Dr. Zhang turned his head and looked at Qin Yan with a worried look. Qin Yan wanted to ask questions, but Dr. Zhang pressed down with his hand gesture to signal to talk later, and said softly to Ruan Yang: "Okay, be good, I'll hurry up How are you today, what did you see again? Would you like to tell me?"

"Well, Doctor Zhang, let me tell you, my brother brought me braised pork a few days ago, and said Brother Yan asked him to bring it to me. When I was eating braised pork, I thought of Brother Yan, Doctor Zhang, Brother Yan again Did you come to see me when? It’s so cold outside, you won’t be able to go out until next spring.”

Doctor Zhang said: "Actually, brother Yan comes here every day, but he always takes advantage of your sleep, so he doesn't want to disturb your rest. Next spring, Ruan Yang will be fine, and he can go out when he is good."

"Great! Doctor Zhang, sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming, and sometimes I don't feel like I'm dreaming, but I can't open my eyes." Ruan Yang was very relaxed when facing Doctor Zhang, and said with great interest, "I'm with you Let me tell you something, I dreamed that my younger brother took me to find Brother Yan, and Brother Yan asked me to wait for him in the corner, but he forgot about me after sending him to the morning court, and my younger brother took me back."

Qin Yan stood by his side with his hands behind his back, his eyes dim.

He knew about Ruan Yang's half-truth and half-fake dreams. A few years ago, Ruan Yang inadvertently broke into the main hall, which displeased Qin who was having breakfast, so he decided to take advantage of the winter to replace the bluestone road with cobblestone road, Qin Yan Seeing this, he could only promise that Ruan Yang would come to see him in the small courtyard often.

But because of guilt, he seldom fulfilled his promises.

"Ruan Yang," Dr. Zhang put away the silver needle cloth, held his slender and fragile wrist, and said softly, "Do you have any unfulfilled wishes?"

Ruan Yang didn't answer directly, he was stunned for a while, and said softly: "Doctor Zhang, it's very kind of you, I don't have a wish."

"My wish can't be fulfilled, Doctor Zhang, it would be great if the baby could find you at that time, so he wouldn't be buried in the soil." He gripped the edge of the quilt tightly, sweating from the cold, and murmured, "Zhang Doc, will it grow in the spring?"

Ruan Yang sobbed: "It's all bad for me, I want him to go back into my stomach, if I don't let him out, he won't die."

When Qin Yan heard this, he couldn't help feeling sad.

Earlier, Ruan Yang's condition was only obvious physical symptoms, but he never chanted some strange names or things.His wife, Xia Ye, was sent to Liushuang City to stay for a year as an important minister in the court, and Qin Yan went with her.Xia Ye made a contribution in arresting the remnants of the Ruan family in Liushuang City, and returned to the Qin Mansion with Qin Yan, Qin couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.

Qin Yan remembered that it was also snowing heavily on the day when he came back, before Xia Ye and Fang got off the carriage and entered the mansion, a man with messy bun suddenly stumbled over.

The Qin family almost lost Qin Yan's life after the previous political party disputes. Now that Xia Ye is about to give birth, it is natural to guard him strictly. This person stumbles close in thin winter clothes, and is immediately knocked down by the guards as an outlaw. He scolded, come who!

The man seemed a little stunned, and also seemed a little delirious. He didn't understand why he was knocked down to the ground with a palm. He was trying to explain his chest but was trampled by a huge boot, and his throat was blocked by frozen blood, making him unable to make a sound.

Before he had time to gather strength to turn over, others saw that he was wearing a cotton quilt, the hem was stained with blood and had frozen into ice, and his bare legs to ankles were bruised.He grabbed a handful of snow and stuck it on his throat and chest. The frozen blood blocked in his body was melted by the melting snow, and the blood sprayed on the snow along the corner of his mouth, like a branch of a red plum blossoming in the twelfth lunar month.

His body was stuck in the deep snow, and he couldn't grab something that could be held in the palm of his hand.He touched his chest, but there was nothing there, he just said in a trembling voice, I, I am Ruan Yang, I have a marriage contract with Qin Yan, I am his wife... no, I... I am his concubine .

Qin Yan hadn't woken up from the shock yet, an old man carried a medicine box and helped him up with all kinds of difficulties, and asked in a low voice if he was okay?It was only then that Qin Yan could see clearly Ruan Yang who was clinging to the old man's arm before barely standing.

His eyebrows and hair were covered with snowflakes, and his ears were red because he didn't wear ear protectors. It was very difficult for Ruan Yang, who was frozen stiff, to move in one direction with trembling lips, begging, I... can I go in?

Qin Qi and Han Ximing didn't answer, but Ruan Yang's action was to force his way.

Xia Ye had heard about the existence of Ruan Yang earlier, the fault of the father is not as good as that of the son, not to mention what can a bastard do?Seeing him shivering from the cold, Xia Ye repeatedly took off his cloak and spread it on his shoulders, and ordered his servants sharply, what are you waiting for?The Ruan family is frozen like this, why don't you hurry up and prepare hot tea? !

Ruan Yang smiled and thanked him, brother.

Only then did Han Ximing become anxious, and said, "It's freezing cold, you're still pregnant, what should you do if you're freezing?" !Put it on the young lady quickly.

At the same time, Qin Yan, who was recovering, took off his cloak and folded it on Ruan Yang's body, hugging his already frozen ankles, it was colder than the flying snow outside, and he quickly entered the warm main hall At the same time, he ordered his servants to go to the doctor quickly.

The old man shouted, I am a doctor, this man called me to see his child.

Everyone present exclaimed, baby?

Ruan Yang, who was about to pass out, responded, um, my baby is sick.

Did Qin call his servants to close the door in order to prevent his family's ugliness from being publicized? Han Ximing and Qin Yan walked all the way to the main hall in disbelief, and asked, it is impossible for him to conceive again in this life, how could he have a child?

Han Ximing said bluntly, "Could it be that he is insane?"

The doctor lifted the quilt covering Ruan Yang's body, showed everyone his bulging belly, and his exposed legs were covered with blood, and said, it is true that he gave birth not long ago, and the placenta in his body has not fallen off, it should be true, hurry up Take me to have a look, I heard that it is very high fever.

Han Ximing didn't allow Xia Ye, who was about to give birth, to walk the slippery cobblestone road, but Qin Yan couldn't stop him from following Ruan Yang.

Along the way, Ruan Yang grabbed his sleeve and kept sniffing at the tip of his nose. Occasionally, he pressed his belly and frowned, then raised his hand to touch his chin and pinched it twice, and said softly, Brother Yan, You finally came to see me, I couldn't find you, I called you very loudly.

Qin Yan did not expect to see this scene.

The courtyard was covered with snow, many broken tiles were placed under the eaves, and the earthen pots were placed in a mess. The wooden barrel was frozen into ice, the smell of blood in the wing was thick and foul, and a small hole had been dug in the backyard to allow a person to crawl in and out.

Ruan Yang pulled his sleeve and said weakly, I used a hatchet to cut a hole, and I went out, baby, baby is sick, I will mend it later, mend it, don't be angry.

Listening to his nonsense, Qin Yan developed a high fever, panicked for no reason, and shouted, what the hell!Why is there no one here? !

Ruan Yang said softly, Mother said to save money, so no one will be sent here, brother Yan, I can do it by myself, I can wash clothes, I can grow vegetables, I can repair leaky houses, but no one will follow I speak and I am afraid.From now on, you will come here often, and we will play with the baby.

The doctor is shivering from the cold here. Can a newborn baby not get sick in such weather?

But after searching the back room, they couldn't find the child's hiding place.

Ruan Yang stood there thinking for a while, and suddenly led them to a small shed, where a simple tombstone was erected on the snow.Ruan Yang lay down on the ground, touched it, and said with a smile, I forgot, I planted the baby in the soil.

Qin Yan was only worried about his poison, so he asked him to go back to the house, but he shook his head and did not return, sobbing in a low voice, I will not return, I only have a baby.My father is gone, my father is gone, brother Yan belongs to my brother, only my baby is here to accompany me.

Ruan Yang is no longer a cheerful young man who just met Fendiaoyuzhuo. Qin Yan couldn't see him like this, so he just comforted him, Brother Yan will always be here with you.

Ruan Yang was delighted for a moment, then murmured, no, parents don't like it.

Qin Yan later sent people to find out that Ruan Yang was not insane, and there was indeed a child inside.

The little life hidden under the snow, with its thin body and appearance from Fang, is [-]% similar to Ruan Yang.

Qin Yan didn't dare to look at it too much, he just took one look and asked people to bury him quickly.

The doctor took advantage of Ruan Yang's coma to make a diagnosis immediately, and he would have time to deal with the placental remnants after giving birth. Qing, it's only been a year or two, do I have to suffer this crime again?

Ruan Yang begged, no more, it hurts.

Qin Yan also put his arms around him and murmured, "It's all up to you."

Not long after this incident, when Qin Yan came to see him again, he could always see him talking with a small bottle, saying to the small bottle from time to time, "Qin Yi is my younger brother, my younger brother likes me, and my younger brother wants to take me out."

Everyone knows that the Qin family has no concubine Qin Yi except his one son, and Ruan Yang clearly knows this.

When Qin Yan was stupefied, he quickly called the well-known Dr. Zhang Guan to come over for consultation. After Dr. Zhang came over several times, he asked Ruan Yang some questions, and then checked with Qin Yan one by one. It turns out that what Ruan Yang said he and Qin Yi experienced was what Qin Yan and Ruan Yang actually experienced in the past.

Both of them are puzzled.

After a long time, Dr. Zhang stroked his beard, wrote "Ruan Yang" on the paper, and picked out the right side that resembles "Yi" with Qin Yan on the right side, and explained that I only read it in medical books. If a person with poisonous hair is sad, he will only remember the good old days.For Ruan Yang, the memories between him and you are the most treasured in life.But you have a regular wife, and he is not loved by your parents. This child probably doesn't want to bother you anymore, so he imagined someone to love him.

Dr. Zhang went on to say that after getting acquainted, falling in love, falling in love again and again, maybe he didn't want to wake up.

Qin Yan couldn't believe it, imagined someone, and came to love him.

Doctor Zhang pointed to the word "Yi", and the character "Yang" was split into two halves, one half was for himself, and the other half was given to you when you met him before.Qin Yi was born in the same year, the same month and the same day as you, with the same voice and the same appearance, it may or may not be you.

Doctor Zhang pondered for a while, and said distressedly, he is in too much pain, and you are not here. He hopes to find someone to take him out of this predicament, but... he can't think of anyone else, so he can only recall your memories again in your image All the past.

Let's recall again... your entire past.

"Master Qin? Are you still listening to me?"

Qin Yan kept his eyes on the sleeping person after drinking the medicine on the bed, sighed, and said softly: "His condition...is it really time is running out?"

The snowflakes rolled into a few wisps of snowflakes with the wind. Dr. Zhang squinted his eyes at the door of the wing and looked out. The snowflakes immediately fell into his outstretched palm. Bai trembled, blinked away his tears, and pretended to be chic with his hands behind his back, "Well, it's only been two days."

Doctor Zhang said sadly: "The suffering he suffered is beyond human reach. It's good to go earlier."

Qin Yan and him walked together, and there was endless whiteness in the eyes. Doctor Zhang said softly: "In recent years, I have also explored a little bit about your past from his own description of the relationship with Qin Yi. Let me repeat a few more words. Ruan Yang had a marriage contract with you before his death. It was decided by his father. It is really not his fault that your parents don’t like him. Forcing him to break the marriage contract, he can only be your concubine. ...Well, after he dies, give him a real title."

In recent years, Ruan Yang often talked nonsense, but at least he was still alive, but now the doctor said that he was going to die, Qin Yansi felt pain in his heart when he thought about this matter, and finally he could only sigh deeply.What Dr. Zhang said is right, the suffering he suffered is beyond human experience, if he can be relieved, it might not be a bad thing.

But he is also reluctant.He treated Ruan Yang sincerely without any falsehood, but after Ruan Yang was poisoned, he often dared not set foot here because of guilt, and he came here frequently after falling ill. In front of him, let him treat himself as a small bottle, as Qin Yi, as Aunt Li or someone else, just not to recognize that he is Brother Yan who treats him well.

He even hoped that Ruan Yang would never recognize him again in his life.

"Probably because he realized that his child could not be revived when he woke up. He told me just now that he wanted to change his unfulfilled wish." Dr. Zhang shook his head helplessly, remembering what Ruan Yang said while he was half asleep and half awake.

——I was born in the light, and I don't want to die in the dark.

——Doctor Zhang, I have been in the dark for too long, and I still want to see myself again.

"When he wakes up, he will be able to fulfill his wish."

wish.Qin Yan lowered his eyes and remained silent.

Before Dr. Zhang left, he took a deep look at Qin Yan and sighed, "Don't let him break his heart again."

Qin Yan stayed on the side of the bed all night without sleep. After waking up, Ruan Yang felt a light flash in his eyes. He instinctively blocked it with the back of his hand. He was surprised that his eyes could see things again, and murmured: "I am in a dream. Is it? I can see it in my dream, and I have meat to eat."

Everything that catches the eye is fresh, Ruan Yang leaned in front of Qin Yan who was lying on the bed, stared at it for a long time but dared not touch it, and said with a smile: "There is still brother Yan in the dream."

Qin Yan tried to calm down, pinched his face: "This is not a dream, it's real."

Ruan Yang let out a wow, and immediately got out of bed in pain. When he was about to fall, Qin Yan hugged him. Qin Yan kissed his cold cheek and said with a smile, "I'll hug you."

Ruan Yang immediately buried himself in his arms, and replied heavily: "I'm going to the mirror."

"it is good."

Ruan Yang sat on Qin Yan's lap, looked left and right at himself in front of the mirror, pinched his pale cheeks: "It's sunken."

After Qin Yan tied his hair and fastened the wooden hairpin, Ruan Yang buried him in his arms and acted like a baby, and said softly, "Brother Yan drew my eyebrows for me, and I realized that my eyebrows are all white, haha."

It took Qin Yan a lot of effort to suppress his sadness, pretending to be impermanent, but the hand holding the eyebrow pencil was trembling, Qin Yan held his right hand with his left hand, and insisted on adding ink for him.

"It's pretty." Ruan Yang smiled at himself in the mirror, waved his hands and said softly, "Long time no see, I'm back."

Qin Yan scratched the tip of his nose and said with a smile, "Of course it looks good. My Yuan An looks good no matter what."

"Brother Yan, I want to see Xue again."

Qin Yan agreed.

The snow in the courtyard was swept aside, and a warm tent was temporarily set up in the center. Ruan Yang put on the new clothes prepared by Qin Yan, and leaned lazily on the recliner. , let the cold wind and snow all over the sky invade.

"Is it cold?" Qin Yan squatted beside him, and asked with concern, "Do you need some more heater?"

Ruan Yang looked down at him, and suddenly flicked his forehead like in the past. For some reason, blood flowed down the corner of his mouth. Qin Yan wiped it for him. Ruan Yang took the towel and observed it carefully for a long time. , then smiled at Qin Yan: "Only when the heart is warm can blood flow out."'

"The blood in the dream was bright in color, it turned out to be so black."

The towel was soaked in black blood, Qin Yan wiped it with his fingertips, choked up and said: "Yuan An, Yuan An, I'm sorry, I..."

Ruan Yang smiled and said, "Brother Yan, do you know what my name means?"

Qin Yan swallowed all the guilt down his throat, his trembling lips couldn't say a word, Ruan Yang pinched his smooth chin, lowered his head to touch the tip of his nose, but the pupils that matched each other seemed to ignite the flame of the tung oil lamp that night .

"Father said that the wind brought in the spring brought the fluttering catkins and brought me who was born in the small courtyard of Liushuang City. They hope that I will be safe forever, so my name is Yang, and my name is Yuan'an."

Then she stared at Qin Yan and said with a smile: "Brother Yan, there is no need to say sorry, you see, I am destined not to be your wife, I can only be your concubine in a small courtyard."

The strong wind suddenly picked up, and the snowflakes flying in front of them, penetrated the warm tent that had been arranged, and the snowflakes floated between the two of them, sticking to their hair and clothes. Trembling slightly, she looked towards Qin Yan.

Qin Yan smiled understandingly, and as usual, put his palm on top of him, and several clusters of snowflakes rolled up by the wind fell on the overlapping palms of the two of them. Qin Yan's warmth melted the snowflakes into water, and Ruan Yang lightly Touching the snowy water in the palm of my hand, I looked at it for a while, and said softly: "When I was born, the garden was full of spring, but now I have to go home in the winter when everything is silent."

Qin Yan wanted to comfort him by saying no, but he couldn't say anything.

The snowflakes in the air revolved around the two of them, like butterflies dancing in spring.

Qin Yan only cared about enveloping his increasingly cold palms with both hands, not wanting his temperature to be taken away by the swirling winter day from the remaining vitality of the person in his arms, but Ruan Yang suddenly pointed to the snow piled up in front of him and smiled. Said: "Look..."

The snowflakes swirled away in the direction pointed by the fingertips. In the deep snow that was white as far as the eye could see, there seemed to be a line of imprints left after stepping hard to find the solid ground and pulling it out.

"……Pity."

Ruan Yang's murmurs were as light as snow, Qin Yan couldn't hold his hanging arms tightly, the hot tears in his eyes overflowed and dried up in the cold weather, Ruan Yang didn't say a word to complain about him until his death.

When they met when they were young, they fell in love at first sight.Just like the first time we met, Qin Yan leaned over and kissed Ruan Yang's lifeless lips, hot tears dripped and scattered the snowflakes on Ruan Yang's face, the twilight light from the tung oil lamp could not sustain him to bring the cold weather to Ruan Yang Frozen winter day.

When I was weak, I never married and saluted first.Ruan Yang defended him against the enemy and saved his life, but he was forced to break off the marriage contract and give birth alone. He didn't die in winter, but he died first because of his broken promises, and then because of his unspeakable guilt.Qin Yan kept wiping off the newly rising snowflakes on Ruan Yang's face, not wanting the heavy snow to take away the soul that once belonged to him completely.

Just thinking about it, tears fell on his cold face again.

Qin Yan's eyes were clouded with tears, allowing his eyes to be stained with snow marks, as if he couldn't see clearly.

His Ruan Yangtian grows white and clean, and when he dies, he will also blend into one body with the boundless and falling snow between the sky and the earth.

So I could no longer see, never see again, his face like the warm spring catkins.

Qin Yan cried bitterly as he buried himself in his icy body.