Doctor, I'm really sick

After three consecutive days of rain, the entire city of Beijing was soaked in gloomy humidity.

It was getting dark, and a black Land Rover was speeding on the road.This is the road leading to the funeral home in the suburbs. At this time, there are no cars left, and the place illuminated by the headlights of the Land Rover is empty. Only the sound of rain and the howling wind outside the car can be heard.

Qin Zhao parked the car at the entrance of the funeral home, lowered the brim of his hat, tightened his neckline, and ran in hastily without an umbrella.

He has been unable to contact Chu Sinian for three consecutive days.At first, Qin Zhao didn't take it seriously, he just said that Chu Sinian was too busy doing surgery, and it's okay to lose contact for a day now and then.But then he felt something was wrong.

Just as the filming of "Blind Battle" ended, Qin Zhao didn't have time to attend the celebration banquet, so he drove back overnight.When I got home, there was no one at home.I went to the hospital, but there was no one there.After several inquiries, he finally learned that Chu Sinian had gone to deal with the funeral for his adoptive mother, Jiang Qin.

"Oh, you are looking for Ms. Jiang's family." The staff of the funeral home replied after hearing Qin Zhao's description:

"He came early in the morning. He collected the ashes and went to the ashes depository. It's been a day and he hasn't come out yet. We're about to leave work, so please persuade him."

The columbarium is a house to the east of the funeral home.After some people die, their families have no time to prepare the cemetery, so they will temporarily put their ashes here.It was getting dark, and there were few people here on weekdays, and it was very quiet at this time, and even the sound of pattering rain could be heard outside.

Qin Zhao turned on the energy-saving lamp at the door.The hall is not big, and there are rows of tall wooden shelves inside, like the bookshelves of a library, except that there are no books in them, one after another, each of which contains a dead soul, old, or young.

Qin Zhao stepped lightly and walked in slowly.He didn't stop until he reached the last row of wooden frames.

In the corner next to the wooden frame, Chu Sinian was dressed in black, lying curled up on the cold concrete slate, his eyes were closed, the black eyelashes drooped weakly, and they were still a little wet.Apparently falling asleep from exhaustion.

But even in his sleep, he held an urn tightly in his arms.

Qin Zhao wiped the rainwater off his face.In fact, when he searched for Chu Sinian like crazy at first, apart from worry, he was also very angry.He didn't understand why Chu Sinian suddenly ignored him in such a good manner. Even after he knew that Chu Sinian's adoptive mother had passed away, he was a little bit dissatisfied that Chu Sinian kept everything from him and took care of everything by himself.What do you take him for.

But when Qin Zhao saw Chu Sinian curled up into a small ball on the ground, his eyes and nose were red from crying, all his temper disappeared instantly.

"Si Nian?" Qin Zhao knelt down, gently wiped away the remaining tears on Chu Sinian's cheeks, and said softly, "Don't sleep on the floor, it's too cold to catch a cold?

Chu Sinian's eyelashes trembled and he opened his eyes.

Some slack eyes gradually narrowed on Qin Zhao's face.Chu Sinian tiredly got up from the ground.

"……You came."

Qin Zhao nodded and sat down beside Chu Sinian.

"I heard from them that you've been here all day." Qin Zhao said, "I'll stay with you for a while, and then we'll go home together, okay?"

Chu Sinian did not speak, but looked down at the urn in his arms.There was a small photo pasted on it. In the photo, Jiang Qin seemed to be in her early thirties, with smiling eyes and long hair draped over her shoulders.Qin Zhao stared at the beautiful woman in the photo, always felt that she had seen her smile somewhere before.

"Your adoptive mother is very beautiful. She must be a beautiful and kind person."

Chu Sinian gently stroked the photo with his fingertips, and smiled at Qin Zhao: "Really? Then look at me, do I look a bit like her?"

Qin Zhao didn't understand why Chu Sinian said such a sentence. Judging from his expression, it didn't look like a joke.Qin Zhao subconsciously moved closer, looking at Jiang Qin's photo.Seeing this, he was slightly surprised.

He finally understood why he felt deja vu every time he looked at Jiang Qin's photos.It turns out that Jiang Qin and Chu Si Nian look very similar, especially the shape of the eyes, the lower eyelids have a subtle downward arc, and the corners of the eyes are slightly raised.It's just that Jiang Qin is always smiling in the photos, and the lines of her face are softer and plump.So these features are not very obvious.Only when she was compared with Chu Sinian at the same time, would one find the similarities in their faces.

But isn't Jiang Qin Chu Sinian's adoptive mother?How is it such a coincidence?

A strange conjecture emerged in Qin Zhao's heart, and he fell silent.

Chu Sinian leaned against the wall and stroked Jiang Qin's urn, and said, "Let me tell you a story."

"There was a little boy who lived in a children's orphanage as long as he could remember. Because of a serious illness, he was thin and small, and he was slower than others in learning everything. So in the orphanage , he was always bullied and had no friends. The little boy thought that with his behavior, he might never be adopted by a good family and would stay in the courtyard wall of the orphanage for the rest of his life. But unexpectedly, when he was nine years old, One year, a beautiful aunt came to the orphanage. The pretty aunt immediately took a fancy to this little boy and said she would adopt him."

"At the beginning, the little boy couldn't believe that he was so lucky. He liked this aunt very much, and he was afraid that the aunt would regret it when she saw better children. He heard that the aunt liked the piano, so he stayed in the piano room day and night. Practiced the piano at night, trying to make that aunt like him. Finally, he succeeded. He was brought home by the beautiful aunt."

"After entering this house, the little boy knew that his aunt had married a successful businessman. The businessman also had a daughter left by his deceased ex-wife. The little boy knew that the businessman and his daughter didn't like him because of their beauty. Because of my aunt, I was willing to say a few words to him. But the little boy is already very satisfied. Because he finally has a family."

"The little boy has lived in this new home for three years. In the past three years, the little boy has always tried his best to show his best side, whether it is homework or playing the piano, he has tried to do his best. I just want his adoptive mother not to regret adopting him. I just want his adoptive father and little sister to like him too. But all of this ended when the little boy was 12 years old. The little boy participated in a piano performance in the city Yes, solo. He wanted so badly to prove to his family that he was good, to make them like him more. So for the first time he begged them, begged them, to watch, his performance."

Speaking of this, Chu Sinian obviously paused, as if trying to suppress his choking.Qin Zhao patted him on the shoulder softly, his eyes full of worry.

"Let's talk about it another day, shall we?"

Chu Sinian exhaled and forced a smile at Qin Zhao.

It was part of his secret.It was this secret that changed his life.He became inferior and cautious. He never dared to accept anyone's love easily, because he was afraid of repeating the mistakes he made in his childhood.

However, facing Qin Zhao, Chu Sinian suddenly wanted to tell Qin Zhao his fear.

"No, I want to keep talking."

"The little boy's adoptive mother immediately agreed, and begged the adoptive father who was not very happy to go with the little sister. At eight o'clock that night, the three of them drove to the city concert hall. The distance was not too far, and it took half an hour. But The little boy waited until all the performances were over, but he didn’t wait for them. It turned out that the little boy’s adoptive father, adoptive mother and little sister encountered a very serious car accident on the way. A heavy goods vehicle and their private car collided head-on. The adoptive mother was unconscious since then , became a vegetative state, and his seven-year-old younger sister suffered serious facial injuries. His adoptive father was the least injured, but he also lay in the hospital for more than a month."

"Do you think this little boy is a broom star?" Chu Sinian smiled self-deprecatingly, but the corners of his eyes filled with tears: "Just because of him, he killed his whole family. His adoptive father and little sister hate him to death he."

"What's even more ridiculous is that in that car accident, the little boy accidentally learned that his adoptive mother was actually his biological mother. The little boy has always been grateful to her, and has been living in trepidation, for fear that he will be returned to welfare if he doesn't perform well. But only then did he realize that he had been cheated all this time. The woman he had always been grateful for, admired, and loved was actually the biological mother he had always resented and abandoned him in the orphanage for nine years .”

Chu Sinian's shoulders trembled violently, like a patient enduring great pain.Qin Zhao hugged Chu Sinian silently, as if to comfort a small animal, stroked Chu Sinian's back lightly over and over again, and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes with his fingertips.

From the first time he met Chu Sinian, Qin Zhao noticed that he had a detached and indifferent temperament, as if he always wrapped himself in heavy hard and cold armor.Even if he occasionally shows his soft and hot heart, he will immediately curl back up.Like a vigilant, insecure little hedgehog.

Only now did Qin Zhao understand why Chu Sinian always rejected his love and refused to show his heart.

Because the thorns on his body were inserted one by one with his own hands.The armor on his body is the scar left by his injury.

He was afraid of being abandoned again, afraid of being cheated again.

Qin Zhao's heart seemed to be stabbed severely by something.

Chu Sinian lowered his head and looked at Jiang Qin's photo: "You know, I used to wish so much that she was my biological mother, but I didn't expect God to treat me kindly and make my dream come true. I really want to ask Ask her why she abandoned me, why she found me back, but lied to me and refused to recognize me. But, I have no chance. "

"I have worked so hard and waited for so many years."

Chu Sinian choked up a sob, and clenched the urn tightly with his fingers, his joints turned white from excessive force:

"I just want to say a few more words to her."

But why, she just didn't give me this chance.I have worked hard for so many years and sacrificed everything, but it is still in vain.

"Maybe I shouldn't have saved her, should I..."

"You just did what you were supposed to do."

Qin Zhao tried his best to stroke his cold fingertips, and said gently: "You are the kindest and best doctor I have ever seen. I know that when you see anyone who is sick, you will lend a helping hand without hesitation, let alone What about your own mother. If you are worthy of your own conscience, it will not be in vain."

Chu Sinian shook his head and smiled, his voice was erratic: "But if in order to save her, I really violated my conscience and abandoned my self-esteem."

Qin Zhao looked up at Chu Sinian.He was surprised to find that Chu Sinian's eyes were filled with an extremely sad, even world-weary emotion.Qin Zhao suddenly panicked, he didn't understand why Chu Sinian had such emotions and why he said such things.

"What?" Qin Zhao was taken aback.

Chu Sinian clenched his cold fingers unconsciously, his nails sunk deep into the flesh of his palm.Just now, an impulse surged up in his heart. He really wanted to tell Qin Zhao what he did to wake up his sleeping mother.But just when he was about to speak, he heard Qin Zhao say:

"I believe in you. You won't." Qin Zhao gently kissed the soft hair on the temples beside Chu Sinian's ear, with a firm and gentle tone:

"You're the cleanest, nicest person I've ever met."

Chu Sinian's heart throbbed violently, as if he had been whipped hard.He turned his head slightly and looked up at Qin Zhao.

Qin Zhao had just been exposed to the rain, and his hair and eyebrows were a little wet, which also made Qin Zhao's eyebrows and eyes more clear, deep and gentle.He looked so young, even when he was soaked, he was still fresh and clean.Unlike myself, I have already fallen into the abyss, and even if I get up, there are dirt on my body that can never be washed off.

But he heard Qin Zhao tell him that he is the cleanest person.

Chu Sinian closed his eyes sadly.After a while, it slowly opened again.

"I don't want to put the urn here."

Chu Sinian's voice was cold, and he returned to his usual calm and calm look: "The hospital organized a free clinic in the countryside, and the place I went to happened to be the place where I was born. I want to go back and have a look. Then, put her there .”

Qin Zhao held Chu Sinian's hand without hesitation:

"Okay, then I'll accompany you."