The selfish gene

"What are you going to explain?"

Behind the hospital building of the palliative care department is a large dense forest. In winter, there are few birds, which makes it very quiet.Ji Chenfeng leaned against a thick camphor tree and stood opposite me, with a distance of about one meter between them.

From the door of the ward to here, but only a few hundred meters, a few minutes away, I was already in a state of confusion and lost my mind.

The "listen to my explanation" blurted out under conditioned reflex is just a classic sentence for delaying time, let alone explaining, I didn't even understand how this situation came to be.

In the days of dreaming back at midnight and having nightmares again and again, it's not that I haven't thought about what it will be like when the truth is revealed.I have been guarding against Yan Shanhua's initiative to leak the secret, fearing that one day she will suddenly lose her mind and go to Sang Zhengbai to confess, or tell Ji Chenfeng everything out of guilt.In my subconscious, these are the two most likely scenarios.

But I never expected that it would be like this in the end, it turned out to be like this...

A hundred secrets are sparse, and all achievements fall short.It is obvious that it is almost successful. After Yan Shanhua's death, nothing in this world can shake or influence me anymore.Immediately, I will be able to return to being the luxurious young master of the Sang family, completely separated from Ji Chenfeng, and from the dirty and lowly genes in my body.

In the 99-step journey, [-] steps were taken with great painstaking efforts. Seeing that he was about to reach the finish line perfectly, he died inexplicably at the last step.

I really... don't accept it.

"If you can't think of it, don't think about it."

After regaining consciousness from all the bizarre alternative explanations, Ji Chenfeng looked at me with no expression on his face. There was no expectation in his eyes, let alone disappointment, as if he had expected all my reactions.They will give me a chance to explain, but I just want to see how I can act.

He won't believe me anymore.I have lied too much to him, and my credit has been cleared in his heart.

When I realized this, I knew it would be difficult to win him over with weak words.My back was dripping with cold sweat, and the time passed by, and if I didn't do anything else, I would really be finished.

"I thought you were at least a little sincere, but I didn't expect even this to be false. No wonder you, a young master, pay attention to people like me. It turns out that you are not paying attention, but just... watching a joke." Ji Chenfeng's eyelids drooped slightly , covering the emotions, "It's ridiculous. My mother, my lover, are all fake, all lies."

In just a few words, he was like a traveler lost in the desert, exhausted to the extreme, and desperate to the extreme, completely lost the power of anger, and had completely accepted the cruel reality.

"What else is real in my life?" He asked me with a hoarse voice, a little dazed.Every word turned into a sharp nail, piercing my nerves one by one.

"You say I'm fake. Is this also fake?"

His fingers trembled, and he couldn't think of a better way, so he gave up thinking and acted entirely on instinct.I rushed forward, holding Ji Chenfeng's face, I kissed him forcefully, no, that couldn't be called a "kiss" at all, I bit his lips, his tongue, everything about him like a beast...

If you eat it here, you won't have any troubles.

A fishy and sweet breath gradually filled my mouth, feeling his resistance, I pressed the back of his neck more tightly, trying to maintain this rough and savage kiss.

This is not a good time to kiss, and Ji Chenfeng doesn't want to accept such a kiss at all.During the entanglement and rejection, his patience was exhausted by me little by little.This kiss made him sick, and the pain was more like a fuse, completely igniting his suppressed anger.

The body lost its balance backwards, and my eyes crossed the treetops and the sky. In the next second, my back suddenly hurt, and my whole body was pressed to the ground by Ji Chenfeng.

Blood was dripping from the corner of his mouth, he gasped and glared at me, and grabbed my neck with his uninjured hand.

"Don't touch me!" His eyes were full of disgust, as if I was no longer me, but an annoying bug that could bring him nothing but suck his blood, make him miserable and sick.

I have only done him harm, not good.

"I love you." I looked into his eyes and made a sound from the depths of my throat very smoothly without any hindrance.

Ji Chenfeng was in a daze for a moment, and was bewitched by my "magic language" for a moment, and he was briefly shaken.But in the next second, he regained his sobriety and became more determined than ever.

"Don't you feel sick doing this with someone you don't like?"

Now you're more like the one who feels sick, right?

One hand gently held his wrist, caressing the skin at his pulse point ambiguously, the other hand leaned towards his side face, and the thumb gently touched the cheekbones.

"Those words are all lying to Yan Shanhua, Chenfeng, I love you. Forgive me, please?"

For the current plan, it can only be done step by step.Stabilize him first and consolidate the relationship between the two parties.What happens in the future... Let's talk about it later.

Ostriches have been working for a long time, and it seems that they can only think in the way of ostriches.I can only think about the things in front of me. The future, tomorrow, and even what to do after I walk out of this hospital are not within my scope of thinking.

"Forgive you, and then? Can you give up everything for me?" Ji Chenfeng asked me, "Don't want the property of the Sang family, don't want the current career, just live an ordinary life with me. Can you do that?" ?”

The force on the neck was far from enough to suffocate me, but after listening to his words, I still stared at him as if being strangled by a huge force, unable to say a word.

give up everything?So what is my life, a complete joke?

The fingertips bounced off like an electric shock. Even if I imagined it, I couldn't accept such a fiasco.

"Look, you can't." Ji Chenfeng seemed to have guessed the answer a long time ago, showing a clear expression, "You want too much, Sang Nian. Greedy people will end up with nothing."

So, leave me with nothing?

It sounds so nice, but it's actually just trying to replace me as the young master of the Sang family, right?

His fingers curled up into fists, left his warm face, and landed on the snow beside him.Even though he was wearing gloves, the chill quickly spread from his fingertips to his entire arm.

"Ha," stretching my limbs, I put away my affectionate face and revealed an ugly face that fits the greedy persona, "You are not greedy, you are high-spirited, then give me your position. I don't want much, Take only what you deserve."

The blood stains on his lips had dried up, Ji Chenfeng's pupils shrank when he heard this, and his hands tightened slightly.

The suffocation gradually rose, but before it completely blocked my airway, it loosened a little bit.

After a moment of silence, he said, "Is money that important?"

His question made me laugh.

I also really laughed, laughing so that my body was trembling.

"If money is not important, why did Cheng Tao's mother abandon her husband and children and run away? If money is not important, what did you rely on for the cochlear implant? If money is not important, why did Zhou Jiyu leave you and leave Fly City?"

The eyes are completely inferior to bedbugs. If you want to describe it, it should be the eyes looking at the dead body of bedbugs. It's so rotten.

The voice choked in my throat, and I could only force the words out, making them rough across the vocal tract like sandpaper.

"The worst thing in this world is being poor. Having money doesn't mean you will be happy, but if you don't have money, you will definitely be unlucky. You grew up in Flying City, and haven't you suffered enough because of having no money since you were a child? Now you ask me: 'Money has money Is that important’, don’t you know if it’s important?” Anyway, I won’t talk properly anymore, so I just yelled out my thoughts, “Everything I do is to make myself live well, I What's wrong?"

It's not my fault that people don't kill themselves.

After listening to my answer, Ji Chenfeng didn't have any intention to refute my quarrel with me, but just stared at me quietly for a long time, then slowly straightened up, and retracted the hand that was strangling my neck.

The feeling of oppression in his body disappeared, and he stood up.

I froze for a moment, touched my throat, raised my elbows, and looked up at him.

"Why, have you been persuaded by me?" There was a fishy-sweet taste in the throat again, and the vocal tract seemed to be cut.

Without even looking at me, he wiped the corner of his lower lip with his thumb, erasing the last trace of me left on him.

"I think we may not need to communicate any further."

What, what do you mean by leaving in half?Don't scold me?Don't refute me?The young master doesn't want to bother with bugs like me anymore, he doesn't want to have any interaction with me anymore, does he?

Damn, why are you ignoring me?Cut off my neck with your hands, bite my flesh with your teeth, and beat me to the point where I don't even have the ability to think about this moment.

Come back, don't leave!

You come back to me!

Seeing that Ji Chenfeng was about to turn around, I tried my best to sit up and try to keep him.

"Didn't you just ask me if it would be disgusting to kiss someone I don't like?" Maybe it was lying on the ground for too long just now, and I felt the cold touch permeate my coat a little bit, invading my whole body, making me shiver uncontrollably. They all stiffened, "Of course it's disgusting. Every time I sleep with you, I feel sick to death. Your kisses, your touch, everything about you makes me sick."

Ji Chenfeng's indifferent and distant expression was finally covered with pain, and his pace of leaving was also delayed.

Miraculously, seeing that he was no longer indifferent, his broken nerves could be soothed, and the big hole in his heart stopped expanding endlessly.

His pain seemed to be my painkiller.

"Everything is a lie to you. The funniest thing is that you still think of me as an angel..." I wantonly laughed at his credulity, "Not only do you have bad ears, but your eyes are also not good."

A voice in the back of my mind told me to stop pissing him off, that this wasn't the way it should be, that I screwed everything up.But I couldn't stop my mouth, like a car out of control, without brakes, I could only go on a rampage, knocking others to pieces, and hitting myself badly.

"You're right." Ji Chenfeng finally looked at me, smiled self-deprecatingly, and said, "Indeed, I don't know people well. So don't approach me anymore, Sang Nian. Go back and be your young master. I can't afford to mess with you." After speaking, he turned around and walked towards the hospital building along the path in the garden without looking back.

I wanted to keep him, but he just went more decisively.

His eyes hurt from being stabbed by the white snow, and in just a blink of an eye, his figure disappeared among the trees in the distance.

I gritted my teeth, and just about to get up and chase after him, my foot slipped, and I fell forward on the slippery and muddy ground.My knees hit the gravel heavily, and my legs, stomach, heart, and even my scalp all ached. For a moment, stars appeared before my eyes.

it hurts……

With my hands on the snow, I gasped for breath, trying to ease the pain, but to no avail.

The physical discomfort made my emotions even more out of control. I punched the ground furiously, venting my irritability.

After lingering on the ground for a long time, I staggered to stand up, and the knees of my trousers were wet, showing a darker color.I ignored it, just glanced at it casually and limped towards the parking lot.That is, two directions diametrically opposite to Ji Chenfeng.

Back at the rented house, my body was getting colder every second during the half-hour drive, and I felt like I could spit out ice scum even if I spit casually.

Even in a warm room, there is still no way to warm up the body.I couldn't take it anymore, I stripped off and rushed into the bathroom.

The severe abrasion on the knee faded under the washing of the water, and the wound showed a disgusting white.It hurts, but not unbearable.

I thought it would be useful after taking a hot bath, but when I walked out of the bathroom, my body started to get cold after a while.I adjusted the temperature of the floor heating to [-] degrees, which is hot in summer, but the temperature has not come up for a long time.

what happened?Is the one rented to me junk? Why is it so cold?Are you going to freeze me to death?

Anxiously rummaging through the boxes and cabinets to find all the items that could make him feel better, he finally found Ji Chenfeng's scarf in the closet.

I threw it back like it was hot, closed the closet door firmly, and left the bedroom as if fleeing, and finally found two bottles of whiskey in the deepest part of the cupboard.

saved.

The moment I saw them, I sighed involuntarily in my mind.

He opened the whiskey and poured the fishy and spicy liquid into the mouth of the bottle.A vague drunkenness soon emerged, and the whole person seemed to be floating among the clouds.

His body warmed up, and the pain in his knees became numb, but the strange thing was that the severe pain that would crush his heart became more obvious.

The pain caused his body to hunched uncontrollably, his spine was like a tape measure, and he wished he could curl up into a ball.

Pressing the position of my chest with both hands, I knelt on the hard floor, bent my body, almost succumbing to the severe pain like a torrent and tsunami.

You win.

Stop it, stop it, I can't stand it...

I don't know whom I'm throwing in the towel or who I'm praying to.But the other party didn't seem to have any compassion, and there was no sign of stopping the pressure on me.

As long as he thinks of Ji Chenfeng, his whole brain screams, the sound waves penetrate the bones and shatter the internal organs, as if opening his mouth can make his whole heart vomit out.

However, when I rushed to the toilet, what I vomited was only sour gastric juice and strong alcohol.

Am I sick?

Big Tut vomited, I pressed the pump button, and sat down on the toilet seat exhausted.

The little yellow cat came in by rubbing against the door frame, barked inexplicably at me, and walked around my feet back and forth with the word "8".

I really don't know how to read people's faces...

Before it came up again, I withdrew my foot, and it fell down all of a sudden, lying on the ground, showing its bulging belly to me.

I bent down, scratched its stomach, and looked at its leisurely appearance, I actually felt a little jealous.

"From now on, you will only have me."

The kitten looked at me and suddenly barked, as if asking me why.

"Because... I've revealed my secrets." I straightened up, staring at the purple teeth marks on my knuckles and said, "I like everything I say, but I only like the glamor of my disguise. Once I find out that I'm a lump inside Moldy and smelly cotton, he doesn't want me."