The selfish gene

Before his life experience was exposed, he was always worried about this and that, until he was in a state of panic all day long, but when he was really exposed, he found that it was nothing more than that.

Sang Zhengbai didn't take revenge on me madly, Xu Xi didn't look down on me, and although Tang Bi'an didn't call me "young master" anymore, he kept calling me "brother" more often than before.

I used to think that if I was no longer "Sang Nian", I would have nothing.Naturally, what I fear should be "having nothing", in terms of money, rights, and quality of life.

Actually not.

What I'm afraid of is that the only thing I can grasp in my hand will no longer belong to me in the end-Sang Zhengbai's approval, the respect of the world, the love of my relatives, and the sight that will always stay on me.

Obviously I have already got it, recognition, respect, love, attention... I got everything from Ji Chenfeng alone, but I turned a blind eye and stepped the other's precious sincerity into the mud.

I abandoned him, pushed him away, hurt him, and did so many wrong things, and now I am alienated, disgusted, and ignored by the other party, which is only right and proper.

However, thinking about it this way, it is not easy to accept all this calmly.

"You feel heartache?"

"Well, it hurts when he doesn't look at me."

"Have you never felt like this before?"

"You mean the previous love? No, no one has ever given me this feeling." Pressing my heart, I pondered for a moment and said, "When he showed me a disgusted expression, his heart was crushed into the glass It’s like slag, and even breathing can cause severe pain.”

Holding a giant bag of potato chips, Tang Bian sighed sadly: "Then you are lucky, you just met such a person now. Every time I am rejected by the girl I like, I feel so painful that I can't breathe. "

He grabbed the tissue on the coffee table and threw it, hitting Tang Bi'an's nose, even though it didn't hurt, he was startled, and the potato chips in his hand were all broken.

"What are you doing..." Tang Bi'an put the tissue back on the coffee table, and touched the tip of his nose in aggrieved manner.

"Can this be called a good life?" I glared at him angrily.

"Then if I say you're unlucky, you'll get angry too..." Tang Bi'an muttered softly while picking up the broken potato chips on his body and stuffing them into his mouth.

"I came to you to find a solution, not to complain about me."

I began to think about the correctness of this decision. Perhaps it would be more reliable than Tang Bian to walk into a temple and draw a lottery to seek the answer from the master.

"I'm thinking about it..." Tang Bian got up from the sofa with potato chips in his arms, walked slowly to the window, looked at the scenery downstairs, and walked to the cabinet where the glass tank was placed, admiring the inside for a while Little bastard resting quietly.

Potato chips were stuffed into his mouth at a constant speed, and his mouth never stopped from the beginning to the end.

"Think about it, brother!" Just when I was getting impatient, he stopped eating, as if he had thought of a brilliant idea, and looked back at me happily, "Why don't you learn sign language? He can't hear, But you can see it."

Learn sign language?

In A Yao's investigation report, there was information that Ji Chenfeng knew sign language, but...

"...Did you ever think that he would close his eyes?" And is sign language easy to learn?When I learn how to communicate freely, Ji Chenfeng may have lived with Jian Xing long ago.

"Ah..." Tang Bi'an's smile froze on his face, biting a potato chip, he said in embarrassment, "Then let me think again."

It was already late at night when Tang Bi'an returned home without success and returned to the rented house.

Standing at the door, facing the living room under the warm light, some do not want to go in.

The space is obviously not big, but for some reason, it is so quiet that it feels very empty.Time seems to be gelatinous, the air becomes sticky, and only faint chirping can be heard in the ears.

On the sofa, by the dining table, by the pool... Ji Chenfeng's shadow is everywhere.

In the past, I would regard these as a kind of torture and resent the pain I suffered.Now, I already know that this is the most common and common emotion of human beings - longing.

I can't see him, so I want to see him.Want to see him, so everywhere is him.

"Missing" is not dangerous, nor will it hurt me, but it will be a little bitter and painful...

Finally stepping into the door, I let out a long breath, went to the window and opened it to let the noise from outside come in.In an instant, the sound of leaves, the sound of the wind, and the sound of the road in the distance all mingled noisily and poured into the ear canal.

... and a little lonely.Looking at the dense night outside the house, I added another sentence in my heart.

Although Tang Bian is unreliable, but now I am very confused about "how to get close to Ji Chenfeng without annoying him", so I can only try the method of this dog-headed military strategist.

I fumbled and signed up for a volunteer sign language training class, which started every Wednesday and Saturday from [-]:[-] to [-]:[-] in the evening, at a cultural activity center next to a library.

The library is just at the entrance of the subway, only five stops away from where I live.

The anti-anxiety medications I take have the effect of impairing concentration and responsiveness, so there are precautions against driving and operating dangerous equipment during treatment.In addition, after all, I am sitting and eating, and I can save as much as I can. Now that I have become an ordinary person, I must have the consciousness of being an ordinary person.

So at 06:30 on Wednesday night, I took the subway for a long time.

What I never expected was that 06:30 happened to be the evening rush hour, and I had to queue up to get into the carriage, but I had to squeeze in with great difficulty, and I had to have sex with strangers.

The smell of perfume, sweat, and food all mixed together to form an unbearable stench.

I frowned tightly, covered my mouth and nose with a tissue, and couldn't help but want to spit on the fat man who kept shaking his legs in front of me.

Aside from occupying two seats by yourself, you are still shaking your legs like Parkinson. Didn't you see that the girl next to you has been squeezed to the edge by you, and even her shoulders have shrunk?

The fat man still smells bad. How many days has it been since he took a shower?

"Ugh!" I pulled the ring, covered my mouth and leaned forward, making a retching appearance.

The fat man was startled, and raised his head from the phone, his legs stopped shaking immediately.

"Wow what are you doing?"

I took away the tissue and retched more violently, as if I would vomit on him along with the overnight meal in a second.

The fat man raised his legs together, and moved a few centimeters to the side in horror, which quickly aroused the dissatisfaction of other people.

"Stop squeezing, squeeze to death!"

"It's not that I want to squeeze, someone here is about to vomit..." the fat man yelled at me with a face full of displeasure, "I want to vomit and vomit!"

I really couldn't stand the smell on his body, so I covered my mouth and nose again, looked at him and said coldly, "Can you fucking control it?"

When I was fierce, the fat man's face quickly turned from green to white, and he immediately silenced himself.Quickly stuffing the phone into the backpack, he murmured something and pushed me away towards the door. I don't know if he was going to get off the car or he was simply scared by me and ran away.

The fat man's seat was free, and the girl beside him breathed a sigh of relief, finally being able to sit upright normally.Several passengers around me looked at the seat and then at me, but none of them dared to sit.

"Sit down." I raised my chin towards a middle-aged woman who looked a little older.

She froze for a moment: "Oh, okay, thank you, thank you." Then she sat down obediently.

The library station seemed to be a big station, and when it was almost there, many people stood up, including the girl who was squeezed earlier.

I followed the crowd to the door without much effort.

"thanks……"

Hearing the thank-you sound as soft as mosquitoes, I turned my head to look, and it was the girl.

Wanting her to say it out next time when she feels uncomfortable, she inadvertently caught a glimpse of a familiar figure among the dense crowd of people leaving the platform.

In an instant, my attention was attracted by the figure that was very similar to Ji Chenfeng. I tried my best to squeeze out, regardless of the curses in my ears and the crumpled clothes, I just wanted to hurry up and don't let The opponent ran away.

However, the flow of people in the evening peak was beyond my imagination, and I lost track of that person almost in the blink of an eye.

I searched in every direction, and I also searched for nearby shops. The figure that was clearly so close just now seems to be an illusion of me alone.

Maybe it's just the body image, maybe it's not Ji Chenfeng at all.His home and work place are not here, why run here?

And what if it was him?Hold him and tell him that we are destined to meet each other wherever we go?

He would only suspect that I was following him.

I sat on the side of the road with a little disappointment, and remembered that when I came for the sign language class, it was almost time to start the class.

He hurriedly ran into the activity center, guided by the poster, and successfully found the only open classroom on the second floor.

"Mr. Ji, please take care of me in the future."

"Teacher, how long will it take to communicate without hindrance?"

"Has Teacher Ji ever had contact with hearing-impaired children? Would they be willing to communicate with us?"

Before entering the classroom, I heard the voices of several people from inside. The teacher seemed to have arrived and introduced himself.

It's good to be late on the first day, Sang Nian.

I closed my eyes, stepped into the classroom, and said to the seven or eight people clustered around the podium: "Sorry, I'm late..."

Everyone turned their heads to look at me one after another, and in this way, a clear and straight path was made between Ji Chenfeng and me.

I stared at him stunned, and he stared at me stunned too.

How can I say that?They looked for him thousands of times in the crowd, but when they looked back suddenly, the man was in a dimly lit place.

I've been looking for him for so long, and he's here waiting for me.This is not called destiny, what is destiny?

"Sorry, I'm late." I walked towards him and offered my hand, "My name is Sang Nian, where is the teacher?"

The smile on his lips faded a bit, Ji Chenfeng seemed to have a lot to say to me, but because of the crowd, he finally compromised and shook my hand meaningfully.

"My name is Ji."

It may only be two seconds, before he even felt the temperature of his palm, he quickly withdrew his hand as if he was afraid of being cut by the sharp weapon hidden in my hand.

"Okay, everyone sit down, the class is about to start." He stopped looking at me and motioned for everyone to sit down.

The people around dispersed one by one and left the podium, only I did not move.

I am still immersed in this wonderful fate with Ji Chenfeng.

"Teacher Ji..." is only three syllables, but it seems to have gone through thousands of turns on the tip of the tongue. Each final sound sticks to the next word, and at the last sound, there is no word pasted, and it can only be hidden in the In a smile.

Ji Chenfeng glanced at me, leaned slightly, and said in a volume that only each other could hear: "Go out if you don't sit down, don't disturb others in class."

"Okay." I replied with a smile, not angry at all.

Seeing him was the biggest surprise tonight, and until the surprise was exhausted, I was in a happy mood.

Turning around and walking off the podium, the students who had been mosaiced just now, and I completely ignored, gradually gained face, and unexpectedly, I found a familiar girl among them.

The young girl in the orange dress waved quietly to me when I noticed her.

There are two seats in a row, and the seat next to her is still empty.This was the only remaining seat facing the podium, where I could see Ji Chenfeng clearly, and was close enough to him, so I walked over subconsciously.

Seeing that I was going to sit next to her, she hurriedly took away the cloth bag from the other seat.

"What a coincidence." As soon as I sat down, she lowered her voice, "Thank you on the subway just now. My name is Meng Xueyan, you can just call me Xiaoxue."

Isn't this colliding with our cat's name?

"Just call me Sang Nian." I said.

Meng Xueyan choked, and just about to say something, there was a knocking sound from the podium that was enough to attract attention.

Meng Xueyan and I looked over together, and saw Ji Chenfeng tapping the whiteboard with a marker pen, his eyes swept over Meng Xueyan, and finally fell on my face.

"Quiet." Ji Chenfeng uttered two words clearly and forcefully.