The selfish gene

It was just an accident.I drank alcohol, lost my mind, and took too much medicine.I do want to escape reality, but I don't want to die in the past.

I don't want to let Ji Chenfeng know, firstly because I am afraid that he will misunderstand that I am a weak person, and secondly, I am afraid that it will cause a psychological burden on him, making him feel that he forced me to be like that.

I don't need him to treat me carefully, I just want him to love me like before.

After waiting anxiously on the hospital bed for more than ten minutes, Xu Xi finally came back, but Ji Chenfeng was nowhere to be seen.

"He went to buy hospital supplies for you." Xu Xi sat down beside my hospital bed and said.

I motioned for her to hand me my phone, then opened the memo and typed to communicate with her.

"What were you talking about?"

Xu Xi brushed the hair on his cheeks behind his ears, turned his eyes away and said, "It's nothing, I just chatted about some things about you."

"What about me?"

Typing quickly, showing the phone screen in front of her, forcing her to look at it.

Xu Xi glanced at the screen, pushed my hand away, stared at me with complicated eyes for a long while, then sighed, and said, "In terms of what happened back then, I know that both of you are victims intellectually, so I should treat them equally and give them the same benefits. Love and care, and the problems between you should be handled by yourselves, and you should not meddle in it. However...the human heart is not a fair scale, and it is often impossible to make it right."

I was taken aback, and slowly put down the phone.

"For Chenfeng, no matter what kind of life he wants to live, I will give him support and understanding. I will not try to control him, and I will not inquire about things he does not want me to know. He needs me, and I am there. He I don't need me, I'll just wait there. But for you, I can't let you alone..."

"When the weather is cold, I start to worry about whether you have enough clothes. If I don't call for too long, I will ask Tang Bi'an about your current situation. I know that you have no place to live. I have already decided to tie you home even if it is tied. .” Speaking of this, Xu Xi smiled, “You are no longer my sister’s child, but you will always be my child.”

Only ten years older than me, what do you mean by "my child"?It's so numb to the stomach.

But looking back, she has indeed tolerated me since she was a child, or doted on me.

In the past, when she had trouble with Sang Zhengbai, she always played the role of mediation and containment.Afraid that I would have nothing to do, I even arranged a manager position in my company where I didn't need to do anything.I used to be extreme, thinking that she valued me because I was Xu Wanyi's child, the child of Xu Wanyi and Sang Zhengbai.All the love she gave me came from her nostalgia for Xu Wanyi and her interest relationship with Sang Zhengbai.

But maybe things are not as complicated as I thought.She tolerates me, pampers me, and favors me, not because of empathy, nor because of interests, but simply because...she loves me.

"I told him that you are not a bad boy, you are just out of control and manipulated by emotions. You are already working hard to get better, I hope he can give you more time and more opportunities." Xu Xi said, "This is my first time. This is the first and last time I will intervene between you, and no matter what will happen to you after that, I will unconditionally support the choice of the two of you."

Xu Xi has always known how to measure, this is one of the keys to her long-term career as a model agency.For her, it is quite presumptuous and disrespectful to interfere in such a private matter as a relationship, not to mention that the relationship between me and Ji Chenfeng is not just a relationship dispute.

There are a lot of things I want to say, thousands of thoughts come up, and finally they all turn into two ordinary words.

"thanks."

Xu Xi smiled and said, "Thank you? I should apologize to you." She took out a new wet tissue and wiped a part of my neck for me. Does it hurt?"

Before Ji Chenfeng came back, I drove Xu Xi away.It's not that I'm terminally ill, I really don't need her to stay here to take care of me.

Before leaving, Xu Xi asked me to seriously consider staying with her, saying that there are enough rooms anyway, and Ji Chenfeng and I share a room without any problem.

How can this be called "no problem"?Really one room per person, the problem can be big.

He didn't mention this matter with Ji Chenfeng, and he didn't even have the slightest thought of making him feel the warmth from his aunt.I made up my mind that I would rather not find a house to stay in a hotel than to stay at Xu Xi's house with him.

I thought that Ji Chenfeng would immediately talk to me about the accident a few months ago.But it may be because of my concern about my physical condition. In addition to frequently asking me how I feel, whether I feel suffocated, whether I feel dizzy or not, and whether I want to sleep, he just takes care of me carefully, just like I did every time I fell ill.

Six hours after the fire, tissue edema began to intensify, throat pain became more pronounced, and swallowing became difficult.It was uncomfortable to fall asleep sitting up, but finally fell asleep, either woken up by coughing or a sore throat.

Temper was all bad due to exhaustion and physical discomfort.

Pushing away the cup that Ji Chenfeng handed to his mouth, the water in it splashed out, wetting the back of Ji Chenfeng's hand and a small piece of bed sheet.

"I told you to sleep, and I will drink water by myself when I am thirsty."

Putting the cup on the bedside table and pulling out a tissue, Ji Chenfeng wiped off the water on the back of his hand, and then sucked the water on the bed sheet.

Throwing away the tissue, he sat back on his small bench, frowned slightly, and said, "How could you be able to sleep before your condition stabilized?"

If he also loses his temper with me, I can still maintain my momentum, but now he is talking to me with such a worried tone and expression, not to mention his momentum, he can't even support his heart.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked.

Ji Chenfeng shook his head and said, "I'm used to it."

I don't know if I am used to staying up late, or I am used to taking care of patients.

Since neither of them can sleep, they just start chatting.

After the fire was extinguished, Uncle Li called Ji Chenfeng again and told him that although the house was not burned down, there was black smoke in the house, and it was pitch black everywhere, and it was impossible to live in it without some repairs.

Flying City was originally a poor residence, and the perpetrator had died in the fire, so it was impossible to get compensation.There is no other option but to admit that you are unlucky.

"Where did we live before the house was repaired?"

"Jian Xing said that you can live in the pet hospital first. The attic is just empty, and you can live in it with a little cleaning."

It's okay to live in a pet hospital, Ji Chenfeng is convenient for work, and I can spend more time with him.

In the second half of the night, although it was difficult to fall asleep, because I was so sleepy, I fell asleep intermittently.

Every time I wake up, Ji Chenfeng will put down his phone to check my situation, and he will be relieved only after getting an affirmative answer that I am fine.

When I woke up again from the pain of swallowing saliva, I opened my eyes in a daze, and saw Ji Chenfeng staring at the phone in thought by the bed.I moved my body, and he immediately looked over.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. What are you looking at?"

Ji Chenfeng glanced at his phone and handed it to me.

"Hua Rong said. Afraid of falling asleep, it's for refreshing."

I took it and took a look. After 79 steps, there are 11 steps left.

Each level of Huarong Road has its fixed number of steps. Although it can pass the level if it exceeds, it cannot be regarded as the optimal solution.

Move the soldiers, then Guan Yu, Cao Cao, the soldiers... After some operations, the game was successfully cleared at 90 steps.

These are all leftovers from my childhood, and they are not challenging at all.

Returning the phone to Ji Chenfeng, I patted the bed next to me and motioned him to sit down.

"I want to watch you play."

Ji Chenfeng glanced at the customs clearance screen on his mobile phone, and sat down as he said.

Leaning his head on his shoulder, while watching him play the game, he acted as his game cheat, reaching out to help him when he couldn't go on and stuck in a dead end, and guiding him to pass the level.

Doctor Ji, who is good at everything and only makes mistakes in games, is very cute.At first, I could also hold such an idea.

But later, the levels became more and more difficult, and he made more and more mistakes, so this idea disappeared.

Tsk, how could you go like that?Zhang Fei must go.

Sometimes before he can't go on, I can't help but grab the phone and complete the following steps for him.

After staying in the hospital for three days, my edema began to subside slowly in the afternoon of the second day, and Ji Chenfeng finally had time to deal with the house matters.Jian Xing went to help together, and took some clothes back to his home for washing and drying.At the same time, the two also cleaned up the attic of the pet hospital and arranged simple furniture.

On the second night, Ji Chenfeng's exhaustion was already written on his face, and even Hua Rongdao could not improve his spirit.He drank a lot of coffee, all of which were American without sugar, and he could even smell the faint bitterness of his body when he got close.

Fearing that he would get sick from exhaustion, I forcibly took away his cochlear implant.He begged to no avail, so he could only lie down on the bedside to rest under my gaze, and fell asleep with breathing gradually after a while.

On the third day, the edema subsided, and I could finally speak, but my voice was hoarse and not very nice.That night, Ji Chenfeng was completely relieved, and borrowed a recliner from the hospital to sleep beside him, but he still refused to have the cochlear implant removed.

On the fourth day, the doctor allowed us to be discharged from the hospital, and Jian Xing came to pick us up and took us back to the pet hospital.

Although the attic of the pet hospital is quite large, it has been used as a warehouse because it is not high enough.This time, an area of ​​more than ten square meters was cleared out, and a temporary iron frame bed, a plastic wardrobe, a foldable table, and a few plastic chairs were placed.

There is a small skylight on the top, which is responsible for ventilation and lighting.The sound insulation is relatively poor, you can clearly hear the barking of dogs downstairs.

I thought that Flying City was already the bottom limit of my living environment in this life, and I didn't expect it to fall further.

The only thing that comforts me is that there is finally an air conditioner - the attic is too stuffy, so Jian Xing hurriedly installed an air conditioner for us.For this reason, I decided to be less hostile and more enthusiastic towards him in the future.

It was the fourth night after the fire and the first night in the attic of the pet hospital.After a busy day, Ji Chenfeng almost fell asleep.I tried to close my eyes and woke up again within two hours.No way, I've slept too much these days.

Can't sleep, nothing to do.There was no curtain on the skylight, and the moonlight just shone in, giving a faint light to the dim attic.According to this dim light, I can clearly see Ji Chenfeng's back.

Wide, strong and full of security.In appearance, he is by no means weak.But strangely, sometimes I feel that he is so fragile, making people want to protect and love him.

Hugging him from behind, his five fingers walked all the way from his chest to his well-defined belly.Thinking about going further down, the person in front of me breathed heavily, moved, and grabbed my messy hand.

"Sleep..." Ji Chenfeng said in a hoarse voice.

"I can't sleep." We are very close, and he should be able to feel how good my "spirit" is without saying too much, "Doctor Ji, the place has changed, does the half-year agreement still count?"

Ji Chenfeng gradually came to his senses after being rubbed by me, stiffened a little, and said, "What do you think?"

"If you ask me, then I'm sure I can't tell." Gently kissing the back of his neck, while speaking, the scorching breath blew on his skin, "How can you trust me and forgive me? If possible, I really want to dig out my heart and show it to you. See if it is you and only you in it from beginning to end."

Ji Chenfeng was speechless for a while, if it wasn't for my hand being held by him, I would wonder if he fell asleep again unknowingly.

Breaking free from his shackles, he backed away a little, lay flat, and deliberately spoke in a sticky and ambiguous tone.

"If you don't want to play with me, then I can only play by myself."

Made a lot of strange noises, all of which were the most annoying in the past—calling "Doctor Ji" like a dying patient, a trembling voice like crying, and a creaking and shaking bed.

If he can bear this kind of temptation, what I may need to consider is not the question of whether he will forgive me, but the question of which hospital to take him to for treatment.

I held it in for too long, and with Ji Chenfeng beside me, there was a different kind of stimulation. I bit my lip and dirty my hands within a few minutes.

With this hand, I touched Ji Chenfeng's face.

"Ji Chenfeng, I love you." The brain is flooded with dopamine that brings pleasure, and with a lazy tone afterwards, I smiled and confided my love words to Ji Chenfeng again.

As soon as the fingertips touched the warm skin, a strong force grabbed my wrist. The next moment, Ji Chenfeng came over my body, pressed one hand to my head, and pinched my chin with the other , leaned over and kissed him with a little annoyance.