[Zhongyingmei] The clown is actually me

sea.

The sea is an endless expanse of salt water.

But, what is in the hemisphere on the other side of the severed brain that makes the clown call it "the sea"?

Jack hurriedly asked: "What is 'sea'?"

The clown didn't answer right away, but stood on a chair, and snapped his fingers.Jack turned his head away, the scene around him suddenly changed.The golden wheat field has become the ocean under the night. A bright moon hangs in the sky. The colors at the upper and lower ends of the horizon are like two indigo curtains put together.The waves under the moonlight are like smooth silk. Layers of silver embroidery thread surge with the tide, and the huge sea surface seems to become a piece of embroidery cloth.The salty sea breeze is coming, with a rough gritty texture, and the cheeks of the people who patted it hurt.The broad palms rubbed against each other, making the sound of Haloxylon, and the crowing of seagulls came from a distance,? With the sound of undulating waves beating the cochlea,? The tides fluctuated,?

The land under my feet has also changed, turning into a small sandy beach with brightly colored shells and starfish mixed in the fine and soft white gravel, and occasionally small hermit crabs can be seen crawling past.The clown jumped out of the chair, stepped on a line of footprints on the soft sand, and said to Jack: "This is the 'sea'. Psychotropic drugs circle this safe open space, don't let the ocean swallow you and me, we have been On an isolated island in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by the sea. That's it."

He dragged Jack out of the chair,? let him step on the sand,? touched the warm water with his hands.Jack frowned slightly in resistance, and the clown couldn't help sighing at his terrible expression: "Yeah, I forgot about the fact that you hate water. But deep down in your heart, you've always wanted to see Hai. Your fears are always contradictory, and you are particularly difficult to deal with. I can only compromise and show you Mailang."

Jack held up the seawater with his hands, and the salty seawater flowed through his fingers: "Why am I afraid of swimming?"

"Don't you already have a clue? When you look up from the water..."

Jack was silent for a while, that's right, when he was in the world of injustice and looked up from the bottom of the pond, he saw the shadow looking down from a high place.The man's figure was like a sharp sword that opened up the world, and it enlightened him instantly.He said: "The reason why I am afraid of water is not because my mother drowned, but because I fell into the chemical pool of the ACE factory. Although I have no memory, I still remember the fear of chemical liquids, and then it magnifies and generalizes. Became hydrophobic. And when I looked up from the water, the shadow I saw was... Batman."

"But are you really afraid of water?"

"Ok?"

"Before you were afraid of water, you thought it was because water reminded you of your mother, and you mistakenly thought that her ghost lived in the water. But you were not afraid of her, you just missed her too much. Now you know that your mother does not exist, she It's just a fragment of your fantasy, so what exactly do you miss?"

Jack lowered his head: "What I miss is the chemical liquid itself that shaped me. As you once said, the waste liquid pool of the ACE chemical plant shaped a new you, so it is like amniotic fluid to me. It's my mother."

——"...the chemical liquid wraps me, like the amniotic fluid in my mother's stomach, from where my soul was born."

Jack paused, then continued: "I thought for a long time and kept thinking, 'Who am I'. Until I figured out the problem, the ACE chemical plant was the turning point in the life of the 'clown' who fell into the waste pool The previous person is definitely not the same person who crawled out of the pool. In that bucket of waste liquid, a new soul must have been born, just like reviving a dead body... I don’t know if that soul is me or you, But there is no doubt that the newborn soul is evil and crazy, if you are not crazy at all, then it is actually... me?"

When he said this, he stopped suddenly, and immediately lowered his eyes in a daze, looking at his pale palm, obviously conscious that he had figured it out a long time ago, but his brain seemed to understand the meaning just now, and he covered it with his hand. Closing his eyes, he said in disbelief: "If I'm the one who's crazy, and I'm the one who's crazy... Then, I... I'm the clown? I'm the one who's evil?!"

"No, no." The clown interrupted him. He sat in front of Jack and pulled his palm away. The two stared at each other with eyes of different colors. "Your guess makes sense, but the direction is completely wrong. You It came out of the 'sea'."

"'ocean'?"

"Yes, 'sea'."

"What is 'sea'?"

The clown smiled slyly: "It's a memory. A memory from when I wasn't the 'clown' of this world."

Jack was stunned, and it took him a long time to come back to his senses: "You mean, it was the memory of you as an ordinary person before you fell into the ACE chemical plant?"

"You are right to understand this way. The 'sea' is some images, fragments, residual taste, touch, some unforgettable things, and father, mother and wife, and I don’t know who I am. Love or hate ——These are all my memories when I was an ordinary person. You came out of the sea, just like the primitive ocean billions of years ago, atoms collided billions of billions of times to form organic macromolecules , and then macromolecules turned into long chains of nucleotides, and life was born. You also appeared in this way. In the final analysis, the starting point of all life is in the ocean." The clown laughed, "But sometimes I also think, you Is it a personality formed by the chaotic patchwork of memory fragments, or are you the person I was before the day I fell into the chemical pool? At that time, I was not a 'clown'. I still had a specific name, a wife, and a child who was about to be born , I have no mental problems, I am an ordinary person with healthy mind and body."

"Then why did you take the drug in the first place? Interrupt your pons and completely separate your personality from your memory..."

"For Batman."

Jack was stunned again: "Batman?"

"Yes, for Batman. Because I found that Batman is abandoning part of his humanity, and the split between the two identities of Bruce and Batman has become increasingly serious. For example, if I hang Jason's broken bones on Wayne Tower is dry, Bruce will want to kill me, but Batman will not, he will insist on handing me over to the judiciary. His morality has shown signs of being separated from his emotions, and the justice he insists on will counter him. As his old friend, how can I fall behind? I will always have to stand against him and laugh at him and the parents he bought into the coffin. So I also have to throw away unnecessary burdens and make myself more evil, It was just an accident that you showed up."

Jack looked at him and felt that he was back many years ago. He and the clown were standing on the viaduct of the ACE chemical factory. Wearing the iconic red hood outfit, black suit and red cape fluttering in the green steam, the clown finally looked over, his sour green eyes were like two rolling cheap glass balls, without a ray of life in them flashing.But the clown suddenly smiled, as if his soul had returned to his body, a raging flame ignited in his green eyes, and the entire chemical plant—the entire city was burning in his eyes.

How can there be such a person, from bank robbers to smiley cod to gassing entire buildings, the character of the clown has been growing.He lived himself as an absolute concept, leaving only Batman and himself in his eyes, and perhaps the stage of Gotham City.In his eyes, Batman is not someone, not Bruce Wayne under the mask, but a pure and noble heroic belief.He thought of this idea countless times, but was knocked down again, and this happened again and again. The clown thought it was a "discussion" between them.

Jack thought his appearance was the "rescue" of the clown. He thought that this crazy man still had humanity left, and that part of humanity shaped him.But he was wrong.The clown is actively alienating himself, he doesn't need to be rescued, and to him, salvation is just the light of a flashlight.

wrong.

A thought suddenly flashed through his mind, and Jack thought: Is this true?

Did the clown lie?

"And you, even if you speak beautiful words, you still think too much. Don't always think about 'who am I' every day, the origin and name are never important to the clown, as you said, the important thing is' I'm here now'." The clown's words interrupted his thoughts, he stroked Jack's face, and said in a soft voice he had never heard before, "Don't worry, Jack, I love you. You made me a more Good clown."

——"...Introduction to the item: We want to create a better clown".

So it was... this?

Jack faced the smiling face of the clown, as if facing an impenetrable iron wall.It reminded him of the wall, the wall of Batman that separated criminals from ordinary citizens, and now the wall of the Joker standing between him and the wife he remembered.This absurd world occasionally makes the Joker's words a little bit of truth. In some cases, the Joker does look like Batman.

The Joker gave a slight push, and Jack fell backwards, lying on his back on the sand.His hair was wet from the waves crashing against the sand, and the tide was rising, gradually rising.The sea breeze is warm, passing through the palm forest, shaking the black and green leaves.The beach was as soft as velvet, and the pale moonlight fell, coating the two with a silvery edge.The clown is right, he really likes the waves, because at this moment he suddenly has nothing to think about, when he heard "I love you", he felt that he had performed some kind of salvation, and the warmth he had never had before filled him In his heart, maybe he shouldn't be thinking about getting it from the clown all day long. This crazy soul imprisoned in his body has been softened by Jack to the point where even "love" is sincere.

"If you don't want to, push me away now, my Achilles' heel." The clown said this, leaning down, and the stars twinkled in his ears, like bright dust.

Jack was silent for a while, and finally raised his hand and put it on his shoulder: "The moonlight...is so beautiful."

The clown laughed twice, and his body pressed down deeply: "I will die without regret."