[Zhongyingmei] The clown is actually me

The sky is pitch black, and the earth is snow white.

On the boundary line between black and white, only one lantern emits light, like a warm yellow jellyfish floating in the deep sea.

Wrapped in a tattered robe, Jack walked slowly on the dead wasteland, like a pious but persecuted missionary.This is a lifeless space,? There is no wind, no rain,? It will never snow.The land is flat, with no ups and downs, no plants, no stones and gravel, and the skyline can be seen at a glance.The sky is just dark,? There is no sun, the moon does not exist, and there are no stars. The only light source is the fluorescent land under his feet. Sometimes it makes Jack feel that he is walking on the ocean of light.

The ground extends infinitely, with no end in sight. There is no difference in direction, front and back, left and right, and there is no external object for reference. It even makes people doubt whether they are moving.After the space no longer has any value, what is left is time, with irregular sunrise and sunset, the surrounding scenery remains unchanged, and even the lantern will not be extinguished due to lack of energy. Time is gradually stretched and compressed infinitely, and finally completely Lost meaning.

In this black-and-white space, the only variable is the tingling sensation in the hands and feet. In the end, even the pain gradually becomes stiff and numb, and the body becomes a puppet that can only move mechanically.

Jack shook the lantern and shouted into the depths of the empty plain, "Is anyone there—"

"Clown, answer me—"

There was no answer, only a slight rumble across the wasteland, an echo from afar.

Jack's legs and feet went limp, and he sat down on the ground, no longer having the strength to stand up.

Since Thanatos carried him back to the world in a boat, the clown has never appeared in his mind, nor has he answered his call.The sea of ​​consciousness where the clown is not present is the desert in front of him. There is no wheat wave, no attic, no sound of the sea, only the black sky and the snow-white earth, and nothing else.Jack couldn't tell if the clown was asleep or dead, maybe there was no difference between the two.For the first time, he found that the clown was so scary when he was quiet, so scary that he missed the clown whispering in his ear, saying crazy things that didn't make any sense.

He loves me.If he is still awake, he will definitely respond to me.

He won't leave me here alone.thought Jack.Not a minute or a second.

Jack had to admit that maybe he didn't love the clown as deeply as the clown loved him.The clown is a person who is extremely contradictory. He will say sticky love words while ruining the body they share. He doesn't care what kind of mess Jack will face when he wakes up, but his feelings for Jack are beyond doubt.

On the contrary, when Jack looked at himself, he found out how harsh he was on the clown in the past.He always regards him as a smooth-talking devil, and thinks carefully about his every word, for fear that there are poisonous spikes hidden under the colorful flowers.Now he was finally as quiet as Jack wished, but Jack felt an unprecedented emptiness. He could endure evil and madness, but he couldn't bear loneliness.The sense of emptiness engulfed him from the inside out, just like the dark sky and the snow-white land, like the oil painting canvas that was torn apart when he was a child, "there was nothing inside".

There was a gap at the top of the sky, and Jack knew he was going to wake up. He stared at the dim light of the lantern and said softly, "Answer me, clown. Answer me if you are still awake, maybe I was too bad to you before... ...but I can't live without you."

He woke up after speaking.

He opened his eyes, turned his stiff neck, and looked at the clock.The hour and minute hands point to 1 and 5 respectively. It is 1:25 in the morning. He forced himself to go to bed at 11. It took him about 45 minutes to close his eyes and rest before falling asleep. As a result, the restless sleep lasted only an hour.Jack sighed, he knew that after waking up in the middle of the night, he would not be able to fall asleep again, and could only keep his eyes open and wait for dawn.

He got off the bed, put on his white coat, walked to the corner and fumbled for a while, then pressed the hidden button next to the bedside table, and a hidden door opened silently.Jack slid in like a fish, walked to the bottom floor, and started the computer.

This is not the secret laboratory of an evil scientist, it is just a corridor separated from the cultivation cabin where Jason woke up, and it is nominally used as a utility room.There are too many rooms in the abandoned laboratory of the Lex Group, and this is just one of the inconspicuous ones, but Jason didn't know that there was a path leading directly to Jack's bedroom.

The computer screen lit up, and there was nothing special on the desktop except for a bunch of game icons. Jack quietly called out the hidden combination lock, entered the password: J, O, K, E, R, and pressed the Enter key. It popped out, and countless faint blue bytes danced like a kaleidoscope.Jack held his chin, news headlines flashed in front of his eyes: "Mental Patient Poisons Reservoir, Has Been Arrested", "Criminal Who Calls himself "Joker" Is Confirmed to Have Mental Illness", "Arkham Asylum Walls" Collapsed, more than 4 mental patients are at large", "The "Joker" fled for the sixth day, the death toll continued to rise"... All the news of the clown's criminal career in just a few years flashed one by one, and flooded Jack's head like a sea wave .He slumped feebly on the chair, an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth.

It's funny, after the clown was quiet, he began to understand him consciously.At the same time, Jack really had a more accurate and clear understanding of the viciousness, cruelty, distortion and horror of the clown.

That green-haired madman, freak, devil, he's like the worst curse ever to haunt Gotham.He once poured poison gas into the shopping mall with a smile on his face, and he once tied young girls to the railway tracks and crushed them; In a pool full of piranhas; sometimes his prank just smashed a cake shop, sometimes it was the same family hanging on the Wayn Tower; his laughing gas has injured hundreds of people, many of whom are permanently disabled, including proportional Quite a big child... The clown kills people based on whether they are funny or not. There is no measurable standard. Someone once attacked him to protect a client. He smiled and let people go away intact; He shot and killed, according to the confession, "blocking the sun's rays with very interesting shapes."

Jack held his chin and looked at a video played on the computer screen. It was an interview video of a clown who was arrested by the police after he attacked an amusement park a few years ago. An excited woman rushed out of the crowd, holding the The bag hit the clown hard.She cried and screamed, "Kill him! Kill that freak, and sentence him to death!"

A breathless line of text pops up next to the woman's impact: Parents who lost children in the attack.

Jack looked at the familiar face on the screen, and the devilish sneer on that face. What flashed in front of his eyes was the sandy beach under the bright moonlight, the gentle and surging tide like a mother's hand, and the sprinkling of water. A soft sky full of stars.Or in the warm attic, the shadows of leaves and flowers swaying gently in the wind, the murderous devil who deserves to be hanged to dry on the gallows, like the most well-bred gentleman, politely Leaning down, kissing the back of Jack's hand almost reverently, Jack heard him say love.

When the devil talks about love, it's like holding out brimstone from hell.But he knew he was telling the truth, that this man loved him as much as life, and he would give Jack anything he had.

No one will ever love themselves like him but the Joker.

This conclusion pained Jack.

Jack lay prone on the operating table, unspeakable pain and emptiness swept over him, a suppressed thought.resurfaced in front of my eyes.

I want him back.

Suddenly, another Jack seemed to be standing beside him again, looking at him from top to bottom. Another Jack said: Do you know how many people he will kill when he comes back?

I know.I can't control him in a watertight way for the rest of my life, there will always be various accidents.Every time the clown escapes from prison, people can die, and many people may be separated from their wives.I know he's a guy who deserves to be shot a hundred times and if I bring him back I'll be partly responsible for his crimes and he'll never give a damn what I think and he'll be more than happy to make me suffer .Letting him die without a sound is the best result. Batman and the others will welcome me, the new clown, without any suspicion... I know.

But I still want him back.

I need him.

Jack can now be sure that so far, his spirit and thinking have a part of the structure of the clown personality, and I am afraid the proportion is not low.The clown is not only his lover, but also another side of him. There is a part of his relationship with the clown that even Batman can't understand, let alone get involved.

Now that the clown left, it was as if a hole had been opened in his chest, and the only thing that could roll across his chest was the wind. He obviously lost some perception.He shouldn't have so many negative and morbid emotions, but the suffocating loneliness, anxiety, emptiness, and inexplicable guilt, like a wall that keeps squeezing, made him insomnia, anorexia, limb weakness, Lost interest.

want to see him.

It was almost unbearable. In the space where there was nothing but black and white, I kept walking, calling, and only the silence of the world and no human voice could be heard in response.At that time, the snow-white land extended infinitely in all directions, and the space was so vast that he could not forget the end, but the lonely four sides squeezed like iron walls, locking him firmly in it, unable to move.

"I want to see him, see the clown. You may not understand, but... he is a part of me, maybe I need him more than he needs me. Like he said, we are two planets attracted to each other, I I can't resist his pull on me, I can only smash him... Bat, I hope you can hear this recording. If I really can't stand it, I brought him back." Jack held a recording pen , pressed the switch, and said softly, "Don't forgive me, Bat, I'm guilty."