You are my sin uncrowned poem

28

Dean doesn't know how he got out of the tunnel.Outside the iron gate, the morning star was already hanging high in the sky, and a dazzling white line lit up under the dark blue beyond the limit of the horizon. Dean approached Impala, and the black warhorse, who was well versed in human nature, seemed to sense the pain and depression of its master. It ran up to Dean and rubbed its nose against Dean's cheek. Dean froze for a moment, then stretched out his hand and patted its neck vigorously, smoothing its long mane with his fingers, finally stepped on the stirrups, mounted the horse, and ran towards the city not far away.

With the rising sun and the cold morning wind, Famine Knight's words were like a leaden gray cloud firmly pressing on Dean's heart.His hoarse voice, distorted laugh, and sinister eyes repeatedly appeared in Dean's mind, and they weaved a huge net of thorns, tightly netting Dean, making his chest oppressed and his headache cracking.

Everything is destiny.

Only you can't save Sam.

You are Sam's "original sin", the root of his downfall.

He will be a demon for you.

……

Every word was a sharp knife, and they pierced into Dean's heart, grinding it to a pulp.The meat paste was sucked into the cavity formed by hunger and thirst like bait, and became its food.

The Abbot was up when Dean returned to the Abbey.The rope holding the key was cut, and he immediately realized that Dean had stolen the key.He hurried out of the room, walked around the corridor to the other side of the building, and knocked on the door of Sam's room.The young man who opened the door seemed to be woken up, rubbing his eyes, but when he saw that the person who knocked was the dean, he immediately put down his hands like a student, and bowed respectfully to the dean.

"Where's your brother?" The monk, who was so anxious and angry, forgot to address Dean as "Your Excellency the Grand Master", regardless of etiquette.

The Dean's wording also surprised Sam, who glanced around the room with a slight embarrassment, and said, "He told me yesterday that he wouldn't be back tonight, and he might be with the Inspector General or Mr. Chuck now."

"He didn't come back all night last night?" The dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Yes."

The inexplicable anger came again, slowly swelling in his chest, and Sam couldn't help frowning.He looked condescendingly at the dean who hadn't had time to change his clothes, and he didn't understand what could make this elegant and polite monk so angry in such an early morning.

"Is there anything you can do with Dean?"

"He stole from me!" said the Dean, glancing up at Sam angrily.

Sam opened his mouth slightly in surprise when he heard this, and asked reflexively: "What?"

A bunch of keys.

But this cannot be told to others.

"It's very important, I'm sorry I can't tell you!"

Another secret.

It's as if there are secrets everywhere, and everyone has secrets.They are put on the table for conversation, but those who know the inside never reveal what the so-called "secret" is.

Sam lowered his face slightly, and said with a bit of displeasure in his tone: "How can you be sure that Dean stole such a secret thing? How does Dean know that you have such a thing?"

"Only me, the Bishop, and Dean know about it here."

"Then the bishop may also steal from you."

The dean looked up at his former favorite student in astonishment, and couldn't believe that he said such words so easily.

"Both the bishop and Dean are trustworthy people." Sam added, he took a deep breath, slowly eased his face and tone, and continued with a bit of comfort and coaxing, "I didn't intend to cover Dean, but yesterday He really didn't come back that night. You shouldn't..."

As he was speaking, he looked over the railing of the corridor outside the door and looked into the courtyard downstairs. Dean charged in on horseback. The black horse walked slowly around the courtyard twice before stopping slowly. Dean got off his horse and raised his head. His gaze met Sam's.

In the morning light, Dean's whole body seemed to be coated with a very light halo, and the tips of every hair seemed to be shining. Sam unconsciously stretched out his hand and pressed hard on his chest, carefully retracted his gaze, and looked at Mr. Dean, who was also attracted by the sound of horseshoes.

Dean's chest tightened again because of Sam's gaze, and Famine Knight's words echoed in his ears repeatedly.He took a secret breath, noticing that the person with Sam was the Dean whose key had been stolen.Bowing his head and pressing his aching heart, Dean trotted up the stairs and came to the dean, just in time to meet his angry and incredible eyes.

"Don't embarrass Sam, he doesn't know anything." Dean leaned against the wall, looking at the angry elder a little presumptuously, "No matter how many questions you ask, he won't be able to tell you anything."

Astute Sam picked out something from Dean's words.He glanced at Dean, then at the Dean, convinced there had been something between them that he didn't know about.

secret.

Dean has so many secrets that he doesn't know, which makes Sam feel a little frustrated and very angry.Just like the reason why Dean coaxed him to leave back then, just like Dean's lies about the tattoo these days, what Sam couldn't figure out was why those things were so secretive, why Dean would rather lie than be alienated by him Also refused to tell him.

What Sam couldn't figure out was, what could be more important to Dean than him?

He originally thought that Dean would be like him, seeing the other person as the most important person, treating the other person as the existence above all else - he thought Dean would be like this, maybe he was wrong?

The young deacon seems to have completely forgotten at this moment that God is above everything, and only God can be loved by the world.He loved Dean with a love above God, and he cared about Dean with all his energy, which was also a sin.

Lazy.

When he stepped into the quagmire called "Dean", he could only sink happily.

And this joy brought him a lot of distress, pain, anger, depression - he hoped that Dean would be like him, see him as a supreme being, and no longer keep any secrets from him.

And Sam couldn't ask Dean for that.

"You..." The dean just said a word, but Dean stopped him with his eyes. Dean just glanced at him, not deliberately, but his eyes were full of indescribable oppression, which made him inexplicably lose the courage to ask for the key in front of Sam.

"Is there anything we can talk about later, so...can you let Sam go first?" Dean laughed again as he spoke, the pressure in his eyes had long since disappeared, replaced by a lazy smile.

The dean took one last look at Dean, sighed helplessly and shook his head: "Your Excellency can come to my office to find me." After speaking, he turned and left.

Seeing the stubborn elder finally leave, Dean couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.He had just been worried that the dean would mention the key and the secret passage in front of Sam, and if Sam found out, he would inevitably keep asking.Famine Knight's words were etched into Dean's head, his heart heavy with lead, but he couldn't let Sam know that, and he couldn't let anyone else know either.

He couldn't let others know about the demon blood in Sam, it was too dangerous for Sam.

And he couldn't let Sam know...

He couldn't let Sam know all the things Famine Knight said about their birth, about their relationship, he couldn't let Sam know how Famine Knight explained their intimacy, how they explained their separation, and he wouldn't tell Sam Famine Knight asserts that he is destined to become a demon.

Dean will do his best to hide this, because he wants Sam to continue living as a normal human being.

He knew that Sam hoped so too.

Sam isn't a demon, and he never will be.

"Where did you go last night?" The Dean left, and Sam pulled Dean into the room, his fingers pressed against Dean's arm, lingering and refusing to let go.When he closed the door, he finally didn't have to hide his gaze, just looked greedily at Dean, stared at his lips, and slowly leaned over.

But he didn't kiss Dean.

This is not allowed.

Dean dodged it, brushed his hand away lightly, turned his back and took off his cloak, and said in a cold tone that he didn't expect: "You don't need to know this."

Sam turned his head, looking at Dean's back in astonishment. Dean turned around, and of course he saw the shock and the slightly hidden hurt in Sam's eyes.His heart throbbed and shrank, but he didn't comfort Sam, he just patted Sam's shoulder with a smile: "I'm going to find the dean, don't worry, I won't quarrel with him no matter what he says."

TBC