[Tomb Raiders Notes Sand Sea] Into the Red Dust

"Did someone tell you to come to Medog?" Lama Deren didn't answer, but asked another question.

Zhang Qiling nodded.

"A good-looking young man?"

Zhang Qiling noticed Lama Deren's wording. He said it was a good-looking young man, not a good-looking young man, which meant that he knew that Gu Ran was also a long-lived person.

Could it be that Gu Ran really has something to do with the Zhang family?

Zhang Qiling was full of doubts in his heart, and replied: "Yes."

Lama Deren sighed, "They came to investigate him."

Zhang Qiling hesitated for a moment and asked, "Gu Ran is from the Zhang family?"

Lama Deren shook his head, "It's a long story, let's talk in another place."

Lama Deren brought Zhang Qiling to his monk's room, and then slowly said: "He is not the Zhang family, nor the Wang family, and has nothing to do with the fight between you, but has something to do with Changsheng. You should know that he won't either. Old man. When I saw him for the first time, I had a hunch that he was here for redemption and had something to do with you. So I showed him the note you left here."

Zhang Qiling frowned, since Gu Ran had nothing to do with the Wang family, why did the Wang family suddenly take action?

The Wang family has always been cautious in doing things, especially in these years, if he hadn't read the notes, he could hardly feel the existence of the Wang family.But they acted rashly this time and were discovered by him and Lama Deren, which is really abnormal.

"The Wang family thought that he was related to the Zhang family." Lama Deren pondered for a moment, "I interrogated one of them, and you left a note, and they speculated that you had a lot to do with him. The existence of family fear, so I can't wait to do it."

Zhang Qiling immediately remembered the piece of paper he tore up in the Golmud Sanatorium.

The records on that piece of paper were too detailed, and even his psychological activities and various guesses were written.

When he tore off the piece of paper, he forgot that there were dark eyes watching in the nursing home. He was negligent and left the piece of paper to the Wang family.

He was too careless and brought trouble to Gu Ran.

Gu Ran should be the person who has nothing to do with the Zhang family and the Wang family. He can't drag Gu Ran into the water, let alone bring him any danger.

Fortunately, Lama Deren discovered it early. Although Gu Ran is very skilled, the Wang family is hiding in the dark after all. It is not impossible for Gu Ran to capsize in the gutter.

Zhang Qiling couldn't help being afraid, Gu Ran was the second person in his memory who made him feel "thinking".Baima and him only had three days of silence, and he couldn't bear the consequences of Gu Ran's accident because of him.

"The Wang family should not attack him easily again. He is very interesting, and he will make the Wang family afraid." Lama Deren smiled, and then said, "You should also pay attention."

Zhang Qiling nodded, hesitated for a moment, took out another notebook from his bag, handed this notebook to Lama Deren together with the one given to him by Lama Deren, and said in a deep voice: "If any accident happens to you, , It turns out that the book was given to Gu Ran, or a trustworthy person, so it’s okay to destroy it, and it’s up to you to deal with it. This book must be destroyed. "

Lama Deren looked at Zhang Qiling for a while, accepted the two notebooks, and then said softly: "If you want to avoid future troubles forever, it is better to burn them now."

Zhang Qiling was silent, he also understood this truth, but he couldn't do it.

Although there are only a few sentences in the notes, as long as he sees it, no matter what stage his memory is in, or whether he has lost his soul, he can think of Gu Ran.

It was a precious memory, and he couldn't bear to completely erase it from this world.After all, he knew that sooner or later, his memory would completely erase everything about Gu Ran due to repeated soul-loss attacks.

If he lost his memory this time, if he hadn't seen Gu Ran, maybe for a long time, Gu Ran would only become a conceptual shadow in his brain. This kind of memory is too shallow to touch the depth of emotion At the same time, he will not be able to resist the next loss of soul.

If he loses his memory again, Gu Ran will become a complete stranger.

Zhang Qiling was reluctant, he hoped that the last trace of this memory would remain in this world.It is not safe enough to keep the notebook in his hands, he can only put it in a more secure place, in case one day in the future, he loses his memory and comes to Medog again, he can still remember that there was someone who treated him very well. Well, let him experience the warmth that he almost never had in his memory.

Zhang Qiling asked Lama Deren a question: "How to forget him?"

In Zhang Qiling's plan, if he hadn't met Gu Ran to lure him to Motuo, he should already be in Zhang's ancient building by now.He is going to the ancient building to look for something he forgot.

But the ancient building of the Zhang family is too dangerous, and it is closely related to him, Zhang Qiling is not sure that he can get out of it smoothly.The result of being extremely bad was to die in the Zhang family's ancient building. Although it was bad, it was still a kind of relief for him.However, the result that Zhang Qiling didn't want to accept the most was amnesia.

It's not impossible, the loss of soul disease and the gift from heaven are beyond his control, and the ancient building of the Zhang family is really too close to these things.

Zhang Qiling thought, if he lost his memory again, the last thing he wanted was to leave a note for Wang's family like in the Golmud Sanatorium.

He needs to let himself ignore Gu Ran subconsciously, so that if he loses his memory, he won't have such an image in his brain that makes him "think" when he wakes up and still doesn't know anything.

Although Lama Deren has converted to Buddhism, he still understands the seven emotions and six desires of ordinary people very well, and can understand Zhang Qiling's thoughts. He was silent for a long time, "The Zhang family should have taught you to learn to control your brain and consciousness. If you really can't forget it, Try it with a bronze bell."

According to Zhang Qiling's words, he sat quietly in the meditation room for seven days, but found that he couldn't forget it.

According to Zhang Jiajiao's ability, he can forget some events related to Gu Ran to the greatest extent, but he can't forget the emotion of "thinking".

Gu Ran's face, the warmth he brought, and the unspeakable emotion he caused Zhang Qiling to germinate, are rooted in the depths of his heart that cannot be controlled by rationality.

At this moment, Zhang Qiling felt both ironic and sad, how lucky he was to have such a person in his life, unlike Baima, who was so fleeting, Gu Ran could have a very long and good life.

How sad he is, for such a person, he has to use forgetfulness as protection because of the danger of the Wang family.

He chose to use a bronze bell.

This is the last resort decision, he has nothing to do.

With notes, Zhang Qiling was able to clearly recall his heart when the bronze bell rang like a third party watching with cold eyes.

It was a kind of tearing stripping, digging his emotions out of his heart, filling that hole with indifferent soil, and whitewashing his heart into a cold empty room.

At that moment, he lost the emotions that he should have been born as a human being.

That kind of emotion is very precious to him, the deformed education of the Zhang family frozen his emotion prematurely in a cruel way, while Baima went through the wall to steal the light, leaking a kind of love into the closed heart. The beam of light, called "thinking", made him no longer execute orders like a cold machine.

And Gu Ran melted another hole, or in other words, his warmth melted the ice that sealed his emotions, and taught him another emotion.

Zhang Qiling thought, this kind of emotion is different from "thinking", Gu Ran is different from Baima.Gu Ran made him more like a person, he would hope that a person would appear when he was most painful and helpless, instead of being alone.He will be reluctant to give up because of Gu Ran's haste, and he will also be happy because of the moment of encounter.

But his too poor cognition of emotion could not define this emotion.

At this moment, Zhang Qiling only knew that he was sealed again.

At the moment of emotional stripping, Zhang Qiling felt a great loss, but in the next second, he didn't know why he was lost, and he became calm. He only knew that he should go to the ancient building of Zhang's family to find his memory.

Leaving the meditation room, Zhang Qiling saw Lama Deren sitting in the monastery. At that moment, Lama Deren's eyes that should have seen through the world of mortals and ancient wells without waves, flashed with compassion, just like the Buddha's compassion for the world. Lamenting the involuntaryness of mortals.

After so many years, Zhang Qiling looks back at the notes and can still feel the heart-wrenching pain when he was in Medog, and he can still think of the eyes of Lama Deren when he looked at him.

Only then did Zhang Qiling understand why when he saw Gu Ran again, there was no fluctuation in his heart, as if he had never met him before.

He was the one who took away the brand that Gu Ran had left in his heart.

no return

Five, understand love

The records in the notes stopped abruptly here, but Zhang Qiling's memory did not.

Gu Ran, Blind Man, and even Wu Xie all knew more or less about his experiences before he lost his memory. In their narration, Zhang Qiling pieced together his own experiences.

With this connected experience, he continued to write this notebook.

It's not to prevent memory loss again in the future - Gu Ran has already confessed to him that after a year, Changsheng and the disease of losing his soul will no longer exist, and he will be able to remember Gu Ran until his death.

He just wanted to finish writing this notebook, because it was the notebook that Gu Ran gave him, and it was also the memory that Gu Ran gave him.

Zhang Qiling wanted to write, but the moment he started writing, he felt that there was nothing to write.

During the long experience between meeting Gu Ran again at the three provinces of Wu and waking up from the meteorite in the Queen Mother of the West, it was difficult for him to recall his own mental journey, and as for those events, there was no need to write them down.

He meditated for a long time, but still wrote a few lines.

"The fat man said that he found the mark on the wall in the underwater tomb, and Gu Ran recognized that it was mine. Looking back now, I am a little secretly happy,