in love with my psychiatrist

The last time I quarreled wildly with Du Hai, I realized that I had finally become as bad as him, with an out-of-control face.

Also realized that I was totally a hysterical Desperate Housewife.

After half a year and one day of marriage, it was Sunday, and Du Hai was on a business trip, so he finally plucked up the courage to give it a try, and added the QQ of the psychiatrist named Yuan Ai.

Because I felt that I was suffering from depression, two months of self-regulation was ineffective, and many emotions could no longer be resolved by myself, and there were too many voices from my parents, sisters, three aunts and six wives, and I was even more on the verge of collapse.

How do you get confused and get married with Du Hai, who has known each other for two years but has been dating for less than two weeks?

How could it be that after insisting on it for 27 years, it suddenly collapsed in confidence and married someone who didn't love?

If I want to make myself feel better, I can excuse myself like this.

Don't blame me, the person who has been in love for seven years, has been ambiguous for seven years, waited for seven years and confessed countless times, after my youth was exhausted, finally gave the answer, telling me that he will not get married and he loves freedom.

Well, fucking shit freedom, can’t I just say that I don’t like you when I confessed for the first time, but I have to say that he loves “freedom” after knowing that I love him for seven years, so , After I blackmailed him nearly 10 yuan in various ways, I turned around and left completely.Who said money is not important, at this time, only money can vent anger.

At this moment, Du Hai appeared in good time, quickly bringing the ring, flowers, and promise.

Don't blame me, my parents have gray hair and trembling footsteps. They are about to worry about my daughter who is about to be three years old.

Don't blame me, Du Hai has a stable job, owns a car and a house, is taciturn, honest and reliable, doesn't seem to mess around outside, is suitable for living, and the two families have spared no effort to facilitate this matter... Everything seems to be at the right time and place, I think maybe fate gave me seven years of suffering in the sea of ​​love, took pity on me and sent spring breeze in time, and gave me a peaceful life.

There are many reasons.

But I know that all the evil results are due to myself. I failed to resist the momentary weakness, took luck, blindfolded my eyes and closed my heart, and walked into this hopeless marriage.

In fact, there is no external force to blame.I can only blame myself.

I am responsible for my choices.

There are many considerations, so it is even more difficult to advance and retreat.

Under Du Hai's silent and honest appearance, how did his extreme emotions and behaviors and deep scheming show up bit by bit after marriage? He threatened me by pretending to be sick and going to the emergency room and other behaviors that hurt me. How did I go from communicating to quarreling and never daring to provoke him again...

I don't want to recall the details anymore, those deep and shallow fears and unease will only make my heartless, free, easy and fearless become more ironic and embarrassing.

divorce?It's really not about two people.His extreme behavior also made me dare not say the word "separate".

Go on?I even gasped for breath when I heard his footsteps.

After suffering like this for two months, I felt that I might fall into a more dangerous mood if I went on. After struggling for a long time, I finally started to search the ID of a psychologist on Weibo. I hoped that the illusion of the Internet could be more honest about myself.

But it’s not that I’m against face-to-face psychotherapy. On the one hand, I know very well that my city is not perfect in this aspect. Going to the psychology department will only prescribe you a bunch of scary drugs and put you in a more terrifying situation; on the other hand, I I don't know where to find a private psychiatrist.

On the Weibo search page, there are countless names of psychiatrists and their areas of expertise.

Although my marital relationship is facing the dilemma of not being able to find an outlet, I have never been a person who loses my mind casually, and I have not rushed to the doctor in a hurry.

First of all, I looked at the psychiatrists with the top fans, read their Weibo carefully, and wanted to know whether this person was trying to make money, or was really solving problems.

Then, I considered whether to find a man or a woman to diagnose and treat me.

Men may be able to give me more rational opinions and methods from their perspective, but in the end I followed my intuition and felt that it was more convenient and safer for women to confide.

After all, there is still too much patriarchy in Chinese society, and I understand it deeply.

There is an ID called "Original Love" that attracted me, because her profile says: a national first-class psychiatrist, who is good at marriage, family, sexual relationship, psychological research and treatment.

I don't know what level and level are professional, but I just think it's right to prescribe the right medicine. Compared with others that only write job titles and don't mark fields, this one is probably more suitable for me.

In addition, her Weibo profile picture looks comfortable, a European church steeple, blue sky and white clouds, and a sunny smiling face, I feel warm.

There is her QQ number on Weibo, I wrote it down.

But didn't add it immediately, I need to figure out how to say it.

Just like, the doctor asks you: where does it hurt.

You can't be hemming and hawing without a clue, and you can't figure out the situation yourself.

You see, I am a patient, and I am so considerate of the doctor.

It's like my best friend said to me: You just think too much about other people's feelings, and you are tired of living.

I also refuted: I am not tired, I feel that making others happy makes me happy too.

But this time is different, I am tired, really tired.

By the way, my girlfriend's name is Lu Li. We have known each other for eight years. When we first met, I knew we had the same surname, and it was very kind.

Not long after we met, I realized that although he is a man and I am a woman, we are also of the same sex to a certain extent, well, everyone understands.

Just like Lu Li said about me, in most cases, I am too rational and can always regulate and control my emotions very well, and others don't worry too much.

This is why in the past 27 years, I have always been someone's confidant sister, and when I need to talk, I don't even know how to speak.

After I wrote down the QQ number, I spent a week sorting out my current situation, the reasons for these situations, and the predicament that I could not solve.

But the discovery is still not sorted out.

I even fell into self-doubt: on the one hand, I have rejected Du Hai wholeheartedly, including skin-to-skin contact, that kind of instinctive disgust; , Is it because I don't love him and exaggerated his various things that caused this situation, or did his various things cause me to not love him even more?

These unsolvable propositions may be due to my own problems, and Du Hai's innocent and aggrieved suspicion made me feel even worse.

When did I, who was confident and clear-cut, become so unable to see one thing clearly.

Especially when I can't see myself clearly.

I became what I hated the most.

This Sunday, I woke up after [-] o'clock, with the weakness of light sleep, I squeezed a glass of juice, without any other appetite, and added Yuanai's QQ.

I originally wanted to organize everything because the more I thought about it, the more confusion I had. Instead, I avoided the important and ignored it. I said something reckless at the beginning of my professional habit: "I haven't seen a psychiatrist online. What is the process and how do I charge it?"

There was no movement for a long time.

I think, maybe I feel that I am too direct?

In fact, it is rumored that the charges of psychologists in clinics or hospitals are very expensive. In addition to worrying about how I express myself, I am most concerned about the charge.

It's good to be direct!

Psychiatrists probably like subtle, euphemistic and skillful expressions?

But I am a patient, why should I be so severely demanded?

I muttered in my heart.

In fact, during this period of time, I was probably under too much pressure, and it was indeed because I was thinking too much.

The penguin moved, and came back over there: "I just fed my little one, what is your zodiac sign?"

I am stunned.

Grandma's bear, didn't I come to consult professional advice, this rhythm is... chatting with strange netizens to pass the time?

This netizen is still a housewife, cleaning and bringing a baby with a baby bottle?Come to discuss constellations like chatting with good sisters?

I don't believe in horoscopes the most. It's understandable for immature girls to play. Aren't you a first-level psychiatrist? It's unreliable to ask patients about horoscopes.

I didn't come back to my senses for a long time, how could my sister have the energy to play with you, a fake guy, and almost wanted to evacuate.

The message from over there was sent again: "Just kidding with you, I will ask you how to charge as soon as I see you, and see if your zodiac sign is the same as I guessed."

I was speechless, but I replied politely: "I'm sorry, it's probably a professional habit. If I don't know something, I like to know the process first. We are a doctor-patient relationship, so the first thing that comes to mind is the charging situation."

She is typing very quickly now: "Under normal circumstances, people will ask me, what do you guess my zodiac sign is?"

I was amused, and replied: "Under normal circumstances, the psychiatrist should also ask me, what is your occupation?"

She came over with a sweaty expression: "Well, then we may not be normal."

This made me panic, reaffirming that I was looking for no one.

This is probably a liar on the Internet, with a name, walking around the rivers and lakes to make money, unprofessional and unprofessional.

I like professional people.

See me again without speaking,

She posted again: "Doctor-patient relationship? Actually, I think you are pretty good, why do you think you have it?"

I wanted to have a fit: "If I have to wait until I don't admit that I'm sick, and then come to you, I'm afraid it will be even more useless?"

For someone I just met, this statement is indeed impolite and impolite, and it seems hostile and mean.

I really am not myself.

She was not angry: "Oh? It's useless, it seems that you want to get out of the way?"

It's really embarrassing. I originally wanted to hastily end the "chat" with her and silently give up the unreliable thing of online treatment. Although it was not face-to-face, it was quite embarrassing to be seen through this kind of petty thinking.

Because I always like to do things aboveboard.

I had no choice but to bite the bullet and say: "I'm sorry, indeed, I think there are some gaps with what I expected, and I probably don't suit myself to solve my own problems in this way. Excuse me, waste your time, you can follow the rules TOLL."

After a long time over there, I replied: "My time is calculated in minutes."

I replied: "Yes."

She: "It's been 15 minutes and 47 seconds since you added me on QQ."

Me: "Well, you see how much I should pay."

At this level, I could have just ignored it and fled. Anyway, it is online, and no information has been exchanged, so it doesn't matter.

But I hurriedly asked Du Niang that the person was indeed a well-known psychiatrist, and I found someone else, and I walked away without saying anything, and I also judged that the person was "useless", regardless of whether she is professional or not, right? It seems that my actions have gone too far.

So I continued to endure: "Well, okay, you figure out how much you should pay instead."

I didn't say anything when I thought about it, and I didn't give any suggestions. I just started, and there should be a friendly price.

She: "For 47 seconds, because you care about money as much as I do, I will give you a friendly exemption. Calculated based on 15 minutes, 1000 yuan per minute, I usually give 800% off for women, down to 15 yuan per minute, 1 yuan per minute. Minutes, a total of 2 yuan..."

Encountered money extortion.

I was so surprised that I wanted to get into the computer to see what kind of super doctor this is.