in love with my psychiatrist

Five years ago, two months before graduating from university, I won an offer from a designer of a well-known 4a advertising company because my graduation work won a national design award.

Compared with other classmates who were busy looking for a job, I was happy to play leisurely and played the infinityblade that Zhu Fan loved to play.

Zhu Fan is my classmate, handsome and good in major. In the summer vacation of my sophomore year, we were recommended to be exchange students of a famous American school in the next semester, so we stayed at the school at the same time to catch up on oral English.

That's when I fell in love with him.

I can’t say what he treats me well, and I can’t say what he treats me badly. Anyway, in the next two years of college life, everyone around can see that I like him, but I can’t help it with the reserve that a girl should have. If you can let it go completely, there is nothing left to say.

And he has always maintained a nonchalant attitude towards me because of my failure to say so clearly.

My work was settled ahead of time, but Zhu Fan was a little bit disappointed.

His graduation work performance was mediocre, and his job hunting has not been smooth.

I sincerely hoped that he could find a good job soon, and even quietly sent his resume to the company I had settled on.

But there seems to be no response.

He was so anxious that he didn't seem to want to talk about work with me, and he didn't even want to see me. I understood it as a man's self-esteem, so I didn't bother him for the time being. He stayed in the dormitory every day and played his favorite games, waiting for him to be able to I can solve the work smoothly, so I can really confess my love to him once.

It was during this period that I met this person called "Gods" in the game strategy group.

For the first time, I took the initiative to greet him: hi, gods!

He came over with a question mark:?

Me: -_-#, I just joined the group and saw your name.

he:?

Me: Your name is quite special...a person I like is also named Zhu, so, gods, what a coincidence!

He didn't make a sound for a long time, and didn't talk to me again.

My first impression of him was that he was a man of few words.

Also, most of the people who play infinityblade are men, and they are generally more masculine.

Later, I saw that he often posted some clearance strategies that players were eagerly looking for in the group, and felt that he must be a master, so he was shameless and often tortured him.

I am actually a gamer, and I rarely even play online games that girls often play. When I first came up, I played a game played by men, and I often couldn’t figure it out. At the end of the game, pass all the levels, then point to the computer and tell him: Zhufan, I never like to play games, but I can pass any level for you, let me accompany you through life, okay?

Really, I even thought about such a bloody confession scene and lines.

For this reason, the game Xiaobai worked hard to make his face thicker, because the master of the gods in the group is really difficult to approach.

He was seldom talkative and unsmiling.

However, after all, it is a man who cannot stand the girl's entreaties.

There are only five or six girls in the group, one or two men, and the others are probably thin-skinned and don’t talk much. I just pestered him and tortured him. At first he only answered my call for help, without any extra words.

Later, maybe because we got to know each other slowly, maybe because he was also lonely, we slowly started chatting privately.

In addition to the game, I will also talk about some personal things.

I asked him why he was so quiet and whether he was under too much pressure in life. Instead of answering me, he asked me, what is the name of the person you like.

Zhufan.When I answered him, it was as if my heart had been wiped with honey.

He asked me: Why do you say it is the person you like, not your boyfriend.

I felt a little sad in my heart, and then I gave myself enough courage to answer him: I am the person I like now, and I will soon be my boyfriend.

Him: why?

Me: Playing this game is to express love to him, this is his favorite.

He: So, I am the key to your confession success or failure?

Me: Haha, I didn't expect you to joke and play with a cold humor.

He: I'm not kidding, indeed you are relying on me to pass the game.

Me: Great God, thank you, thank you!Nothing in return, if it weren't for the fact that I have someone I like, I would have promised myself with my body.

At that time, I had a carefree personality, so I regarded him as a taciturn but kind-hearted buddy, and it was natural to make jokes.

Him: I'm serious.

Me: Scared.

Him: Seriously, how do you know you won't like me more?

Me: Hahaha, yes, gods, you are getting more and more humorous, which is good, don’t let yourself be so serious.

......

He hasn't spoken for a long time, and I don't care, I'm used to him often talking and then disappearing.

Later, on the day of completing the customs clearance, it was a coincidence that Zhu Fan also officially confirmed the job. He was very happy on the phone and told me that it was a particularly good position and platform, and said to meet and tell me.

I was happy, thanked the gods on the Internet, and told him that I was going to confess my love to Zhufan tonight, and if I succeeded, if I would give him face, I would find a chance to invite him to dinner.

He gave me a rare smile back and said: If you want to invite me to dinner, it will cost too much.

I:?

Him: I'm in America.

Me: Don't lie, you are in the United States, how can you have no jet lag.

Him: How do you know there is no jet lag.

Me: I am here and you are also here.

Him: Because I want to help you pass the level, I adjusted the biological clock.Day and night turned upside down.

Me: nonsense you.God, I'm really not in the mood to argue with you.Very nervous.

During the whole afternoon waiting for Zhu Fan to come to me, I was very nervous, so I didn't pay attention to what he said about him being in America, just thought he was joking.

The gods didn't say any more about it, just stayed with me and, somehow, told his own story.

A rare and only time, he kept talking and I kept listening.

It turned out that he also played this game because of the person he loved.

His childhood sweetheart girlfriend betrayed him and married someone else. He said that he loved her very much and she was very special. They had countless vows to each other, but she left him lightly one day.

When she left him, she was keen to play infinityblade.

Me: Did you not say why you left?

Him: She wants to get married, and she wants to have a child.

Me: You can't marry her, you can't have a baby?

He didn't answer me, or he didn't have time to answer me, because my mobile phone rang, and Zhu Fan was waiting for me downstairs.

I hastily typed him: Gods, okay, the one who will leave is destined not to be yours, no matter what, you deserve better.

See him back: Thank you for accompanying me through such a dark day.

I was about to send him another smiley face.

Zhu Fan's call came again, he hated waiting for others the most.

Without saying goodbye, I went offline.

But that night, my passionate confession turned into a joke.

Zhu Fan told me to go, his special good job is to work in a design company in the United States.

I was so sad that I burst into tears. After weeping, I wiped my eyes, but still didn't give up. I asked him how long he was going, and I could wait, or I could work hard.

He said: Qiqi, you have to think clearly, I don't know my future now, and I don't know if I can give you a future.

In the face of a girl's love without hesitation, such ambiguous words are actually such shit.

But I was dazzled by love, and at the moment, I felt that Zhu Fan was giving me opportunities and hopes.

Gritting my teeth, I said: Zhufan, I will wait for you for five years.In the past five years, I will not interfere with your future, nor will I fall in love. I will wait for you to give me an answer. If you are willing to accept me, no matter what your future is, I will go in your direction.

He actually nodded.

To this day, I still don't understand, since Zhu Fan never loved me, why did he let me wait for him back then, instead of directly giving me a sentence.

Made me mistakenly think that he also likes me that much.

Based on this misconception, I have competed with myself for a long period of beautiful years that cannot be repeated.

The result is of course, as I said before, before Du Hai and I got married, I met Zhu Fan. Five years later, he told me that he loved freedom and that he would not get married.

Probably, it’s just that he won’t marry me. Probably, it’s only because of my unconditional love for him that he dares to say that he loves freedom so presumptuously.

After loving him for seven years, I gave up on him completely.

Of course, many things about him have long since been forgotten.

For example, when I was graduating from senior year, in order to please him, I tried to teach me strategies from a game netizen I had never met.

For example, the story about him that the taciturn man told me for the first time on the day I confessed my love to Zhu Fan.

For example, the game account and group number belonged to Zhufan. After that night, I never logged in to the game or went to the game group.

......

Many things, maybe not forgotten, but buried in the depths of memory.

Once touched, the context is still clear.

And Qi Qianyun's words are the switch that touches this memory.

In that game group, I only talked to the gods, I only told him the secret that I was attracted by a girl when I was young, and I also described the character of that girl to him, and only he thanked me for accompanying him through the dark days day.

Therefore, the gods are Qi Qianyun.

The gods are not a taciturn frustrated man, but a cold, beautiful woman.

No wonder, it suddenly dawned on me that when "he" told me about his girlfriend who cheated on him, I wondered why "he" couldn't marry her or have children.

It turns out that "he" is "she".

The person who was with me day and night, taught me the strategy, and helped me pass the level was Qi Qianyun.

And she, at that time, was really in America.

Then, it is true that she turned day and night upside down in order to play games with me to pass the level.

I couldn't help but took a deep breath, my heart was warm and sore. '

At this time, the phone rang, and I saw it was Feng Sheng calling.