My name is Dazai

"Brother, I'm leaving~" When Miss Tan was carrying her bag and going out, Tangun suddenly stopped her.

Miss Tan watched as Tangun came to her side, and stretched out his hand to straighten the pins in her hair.

"Okay, let's go." Tangun waved his hand.

"Is my hairpin crooked?" Miss Tan reached out and touched the hairpin on top of her head.

"A little bit." Tangun put one hand on the door frame and looked at her with a gentle smile, "Today is beautiful."

The morning sun cast a layer of gold on Tangun's body, his sky blue eyes were shrouded in warm color, and he looked a bit holy.

Miss Tan blushed a bit, trotted two steps towards the door, and turned around a little: "Hey, is it? It seems that I have nothing special today."

She didn't dress up very carefully today, but once Tangun praised her, she felt proud and shy at the same time.

"Well, that means you have always been beautiful." Tangun said immediately.

"Brother is so glib." Miss Tan stuck out her tongue at Tangun, and then ran away quickly.

A word floated in the wind: "Brother, go back quickly, it's so cold outside!"

Tangun watched Miss Tan leave, and he closed the door.

"Tangun, am I pretty today?" Dazai asked narcissistically while holding his face.

"Pretty." Tangun remembered Miss Tan's rhetorical question just now. Although Dazai is a man, he has the same thoughts as a little girl like Miss Tan in this regard, so he said, "Always beautiful."

"Couldn't Tangun think of something creative? It's boring for you to say that." Dazai held Tangun in his arms and gently rubbed Tangun's cheek. The same sentence was sent to me."

"Does Dazai want to be the one and only one?" Tangun smiled and looked at Dazai's back.

Dazai's entire head was completely buried on Tangun's shoulder, and Tangun couldn't see his face, so he could only pat him on the back.

Dazai surpassed Tangun both in age and height, but when he hugged Tangun like this, Tangun could always find the feeling of coaxing his sister and holding a child.

Even though Tangun said so, Dazai was indeed unique in his heart.

"I want Tangun to belong only to me." Dazai gently kissed Tangun's neck.

"By the way, you said this morning that you wanted to send your novel to the publishing house?" Tangun suddenly remembered his most pleasant surprise today, "Aren't you going out?"

"Well, I'll pack up now." Dazai sat up, "I'll try to come back at noon, Tangun can rest first, I'll bring you something to eat, is there anything you want to eat?"

"Buy me whatever you want." Tangun sat on the sofa.

It is said that if there is a glow in the morning, the weather may not be very good today.

The scenery was quite beautiful in the morning, but after Dazai had been out for a while, the weather suddenly became gloomy, followed by a blizzard.

It seemed to be foggy outside the window, but the components of this fog were not fine droplets, but violent snowflakes.

Tangun tied a scarf, put on thick clothes, and walked out of the house. He walked slowly along the wall, although the wind was so strong that it was hard to open his eyes, but Tangun still looked around at the scenery.

He's in great shape today, he's been feeling really energized since the morning.

This is obviously a good thing, but there is a voice in Tangun's mind saying that his time is running out, and the current firepower is just a flashback, not that he is getting better.

On the last day, he didn't want anyone to worry, and he didn't want to lie in bed honestly.

Sneaking out by himself was something he had prepared for a long time ago, but he didn't expect Dazai to be so cooperative.

Although the weather was bad, Tangun was in high spirits. He was not in good health and never went out when the weather was bad. He wanted to try the bad weather for a long time.

He walked along the wall. He didn't know how long he had walked. He was easy to get lost in the wind and snow. He just walked to the top of a small hill.

Tangun hadn't exercised so much in a long time, and he was pleasantly surprised that he could still go this far.

He lay down slowly on a big rock, feeling the thrill of the wind and snow blowing against his cheeks and the clear feeling that he was still alive as his heart beat fast.

His physical strength has basically been exhausted, and at the same time his life is slowly coming to an end.

Now even if he wants to turn back, he has no choice but to lose all strength.

"Isn't this place a bit out of the way..." Tangun said to himself, "Is it possible that if you die here, you really can't find me?"

It’s okay, it makes others think that he is missing, and he may still be alive if he is missing, but death is an antonym of life, and there is nothing wrong with deceiving yourself and others during this time.

To be honest, he didn't really want to die at home. If he died at home, and waited for Mr. Tan, Miss Tan, and Dazai to come back and find that he was not breathing, it would be so sad and self-blaming.

And the price will not look good when buying and selling houses in the future.Well, this reason is just a supplement Tangun made for himself after identifying the situation in the previous one.

How long can he live at home waiting to die?It's not that Tangun didn't cherish the time of one hour and two hours, it's just that he felt that it would be too annoying to just obediently wait to die.

It is better to seek death than to wait for death.

So Tangun came over and exchanged the last bit of time he might exist in exchange for his ability to control his own death.

He's not a manipulative guy, and he's only doing it for one reason - he's rebellious.

Even when faced with the opportunity to make a wish, Tangun did not make a wish to continue living, but this did not mean that he was appointed.

The feeling of suffocation and numbness moved upwards along his heart. It was okay when he was walking before, but now lying on the stone with snow on it, Tangun began to feel cold, and he didn't know if it was his illusion. He felt that the snow on the stones beneath him had melted away and seeped into his clothes little by little.

The blizzard had no intention of stopping yet, Tangun just lay down for a while, and found that his body was covered with a thin layer of snow.

Then, amidst the blizzard, a black figure slowly walked over.

The man wrapped himself in a black windbreaker, with snow on his trousers, and walked up to Tangun against the wind.

Dazai's black curly hair shook from time to time, and a little bit of snow fell from time to time.

Tangun watched Dazai walking towards him with some difficulty, his mouth was slightly opened, and his already paralyzed heart seemed to be warmed up by being placed in a hot spring.

Although he thought he didn't want people to watch him die, but if he really left this world alone, he would still be lonely.

"Tangun, I have heard that cats will run away from home when they are about to die." Dazai dared not touch Tangun, for fear that if he moved him a little, he would hurt Tangun's already fragile body.He could only place his elbows lightly on Tangun's chest, "It's a very excessive animal. You can't see the cat when you are born, and you can't see the dead body after death. It makes people think painfully, if it didn't die outside, Will it be okay? Have you been bullied by other strong animals? Have you suffered from starvation? If you die, will the body be thrown away by others? Will it be eaten by some animals? Will they not know? silently rotted away. How cruel, Tangun."

"But then maybe it's still alive." Tangun's voice had become weak.

"That kind of self-deception... well, it's not that I don't know how to do it, but Tangun..." Dazai sighed, he was indeed the type who would deceive himself, "I want to save you."

"Have you been following me?" Tangun's voice became thinner, and what he saw became blurred, and he asked this question in a daze.

But not angry.

Tangun has always indulged Dazai too much in this way, and Dazai following him is nothing to him at all.

"Well, I didn't go to the publishing house." Dazai and Tangun pressed their cheeks together, "Did Tangun think you could hide it from me? I already knew that Tangun would not have much time left."

That's why he said he wanted to see Dazai's novel published.

But Dazai probably couldn't do it.

At least, Tangun, who is a human being, couldn't see it.

Dazai felt very guilty.

Even if you show Tangun later, it will be different.

He wanted to let Tangun read the published book himself, instead of waiting for Tangun to become a snow girl and go to the library to read the book alone.

"Is that so..." Tangun hardly listened to Dazai's words, no matter what Dazai said, he would probably only say that.

He is such a person who is overly tolerant of almost all of Dazai's actions.

Tangun felt that he was gradually out of breath, a feeling of suffocation came over him, and his eyes were pitch black.

The feeling of dying overwhelmed Tangun. He couldn't breathe, and he felt his heart throbbing in his chest. Accompanied by the continuous falling snowflakes, he felt that his whole body was so cold, as if he had fallen into the polar sea water. Even the internal organs feel extremely cold.

Compared with the fear of death, Tangun is more eager to get rid of the pain of dying.If this was dying, he wished he could die now.

Death was different from what he had imagined. Under the pain, every minute and every second seemed to be elongated, and the fine and endless pain was so uncomfortable... He seemed to be , die immediately, instead of waiting here slowly for the scythe of death to slowly cut his neck.

Dazai pressed his own cold cheeks to Tangun's equally cold cheeks: "Is it cold?"

Tangun's eyes had gradually lost focus, and he was so focused on the pain in his body that he couldn't even notice that Dazai was speaking.

Not that he didn't want to be distracted, but he found it really difficult.

His body was breaking down a little bit, so now, he really has no strength at all.

"Tangun must be in pain, right?" Dazai put his hand on Tangun's neck, the bitingly cold fingers made Tangun recover from the feeling of dying and noticed Dazai briefly.

"I'll be there soon, Tangun won't have to suffer anymore." Dazai's voice was hoarse.

Tangun actually didn't have much energy to think about it, but Dazai's words set off alarm bells in his heart.

"Be patient." Dazai cupped Tangun's cheek.

If the feeling of dying before came from the body, then the feeling of death now comes from Dazai.

"No..." Tangun struggled to stop Dazai with his voice as thin as a mosquito and his last strength.

He didn't want to kill him too much.

He felt and believed that Dazai loved him, and he also knew that Dazai did this to help him get rid of the pain of dying quickly.

But Dazai will be miserable.

Whether it is out of good intentions or not, killing someone you like with your own hands is an uncomfortable thing, and it can be seen from Dazai's words that he is not as lively and cheerful as he looks on the surface, his heart is actually Conceals a melancholy sensitivity that others cannot understand.

This guy Dazai will definitely not think about it. If he dies, he will have no way to say "it's not your fault" to Dazai.

"Patience a little bit, Tangun, it will be soon." Dazai closed his eyes and pressed his lips tightly. He did not listen to Tangun at all, just like he usually does not listen to Tangun, he pushed Tangun's back of the head On a slightly raised spot on the stone, his hand was trembling.He killed an unknown number of people, but this was the first time his hands trembled.

Even though he told himself that he was helping Tangun out of pain, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

With the sound of bone shattering, Tangun's hand hangs down feebly, Dazai slowly put Tangun's head on the stone, his whole expression became trance.The final expression on Tangun's face showed a hint of helplessness, as if refusing to leave an expression on his face that would make Dazai feel painful.

Dazai knelt on the ground, looked at the hand hanging from the stone, and thought vaguely of the resentment he had filled with his heart when he dug the body out of the snow and the murderous intent towards the murderer of Tangun, Looking back now, he feels that he was really a joke.

The body in the snow...

Didn't he already have a premonition?

So... the pen name he chose was a pen name that made him feel ashamed as a writer - Kuroki Shunping.

Now, this name will only make Dazai feel even more humiliated.

He was the one who killed Tangun.

There is no other murderer.

Only him.

Dazai took Tangun's hanging hand, put his hand on his face, and murmured, "Tangun, we will meet again, right?"

"...Is that right?" Dazai looked at Tangun and asked again.

However, only the howling wind and snow responded to him.