The Human Comedy

Kim Heechul's popularity is really high, this is definitely not a cover, whether it is among fans or among trainees, he always has the ability to be called the center of attention, not everyone has this ability, like me A person who always likes to hide in a corner and work hard silently, can't understand how he feels being chased by others, let alone become the object of that crowd's pursuit.

But looking at that dazzling Kim Heechul like this, there seems to be something hidden in Han Geng's heart, something that hasn't appeared for a long time seems to grow again, simple can be called 'vanity', more complicated can be called 'vanity' Desire to win', it's not that I don't have the ability to be called the focus, it's just because of my personality, I hate right and wrong, so I would rather remain unknown.

But Xi Chul told me, Han Geng, you are actually very capable, why don't you fight for it more?Your efforts are no less than others, as long as you know how to fight, you will get a lot. Did you come to Korea just to stay quietly?

This sentence can be said to have awakened me. Although it is also something that is very clear in my subconscious mind, hearing him say it like this is really enlightening.We were not very close at that time, so I was very touched that he could say such things to me. I usually treat people softly, so I will attach great importance to friends who can be outspoken to me like this.

So I followed Heechul's suggestion, and strived for more opportunities to perform on weekdays, instead of always silently alone in the corner.Sure enough, doing so is effective, and soon I will be well-known among the trainees. Usually, when people talk about Han Geng, they only know that "he is a trainee from China", and they don't know anything else. There will be some exclamation 'his dance is really good'.This also satisfied my little vanity, and I have more energy to dance every day. Although my performance in Korean class is still not very good, I feel that I really don't have the talent to learn languages.

No matter in terms of acting or language, I envy Heechul, I envy his attractive aura, and I also envy his fluent Korean.As Koreans, there are differences in Korean proficiency, but Heechul's Korean can be said to be at the level of a top host, and I am amazed at everything from pronunciation frequency to reaction speed.At that time, I felt that Heechul was my role model and the object of my admiration. Although he gave me a bad impression of being arrogant and arrogant from the beginning, it is undeniable that from the first sight of him Aura, I adore him a little bit.

Until I lived in the same dormitory with him, I still didn’t get rid of that admiration mentality. I also learned a lot about being a trainee from him, and silently prepared for myself as an artist in the future.Get along with him with a learning attitude, even if I drink with Heechul who is in a bad mood, I can still feel the light that is about to radiate from him.

When did I start to get rid of this 'little fan' mentality?I can’t remember exactly, but it seems that there was a day when we had already started dancing together, all the members of SJ (except Kyuhyun) were also together, during a certain break in practice, we were sitting in the practice room While drinking aerobic water on the floor, Heechul suddenly said to me, "Han Geng, don't call me 'brother' from now on, just call me 'Heechul'." I'm used to it, although the title 'Heechul Brother' didn't last long.

"Why did you remove 'Brother'? Heechul, I still remember when you asked Han Geng to call 'Brother'." Donghae asked curiously.

"Isn't Han Geng born in February 84, so he's not much younger than me, so there's no need to call him 'brother'. I don't want to have so many younger brothers, making me look so old. I'm Kim Heechul, the youngest face of all ages." Heechul Wiping the sweat with a towel around his neck, he said indifferently.Donghai stuck out his tongue at me and smiled strangely. I was puzzled and stared blankly at them.

One day I practiced alone until very late, and the members all left. I was still a little awkward because of a few movements, and I kept practicing until I was satisfied. After I turned off the music, I saw Heechul standing at the door in the mirror.

"Oh, Heechul? You haven't returned so late?" I turned to him and asked.

"Well, I'm practicing alone." He walked in and said, "I'm so hungry, do you want to eat later?"

"Eat? That's fine." I nodded and said, still a little surprised by his invitation, "Then what do you want to eat?"

He smiled and said, "Since you don't call him 'Brother' anymore, you don't need to say honorifics, and you don't have to be reserved between friends."

"Oh..." I scratched my head embarrassingly. Although I didn't call him 'Brother' anymore, I still used to say honorifics to him. Every time I saw his aura, I couldn't realize it...

"Do you like Chinese food? I know a good Chinese restaurant, would you like to eat together?" I suggested.

"Chinese food? I haven't eaten much. Okay, let's try it." He readily agreed, so I took him to the Plum Blossom Restaurant. I have been here with Junying and Zaizhong before, but they didn't like it very much, so I went to the Plum Blossom Restaurant. I haven't been here a few times, most of them are by myself.

We sat in an unobtrusive corner, I ordered a few dishes that I thought were the best, and then nervously waited for Heechul's comment.Fortunately, he liked it quite a bit, and he looked very happy after eating, which gave me a sense of accomplishment.

When it was time to pay the bill, I rushed to pay, but Xiche refused to let me go and insisted on rushing to pay with me.

"Heechul, thank you for taking care of me these days."

"What did I take care of you for?"

"Eh..." In fact, materially speaking, he really didn't take care of me, and didn't pay much attention to me, but spiritually, I still learned a lot from him.

"You're not trying to please me, are you?" He said with a smirk.

"What are you trying to please? I'm just... simply inviting friends to dinner, don't think too much..." I explained stutteringly.

"Understood, I invite you to invite me to dinner, and I will invite you back later." He waved his hand generously, "Many of the trainee children wanted to invite me to dinner, but I refused. I ate yours today. It's a bit embarrassing."

"What's so embarrassing, we are friends." I don't know why at that moment, it felt so strange, as if the distance between us was getting closer, and sitting face to face made us even closer.

The intimacy between people is not only in these "normal" interactions, sometimes discovering each other's secrets is also a kind of intimacy.It's said that girls' friendships start with sharing secrets, and it's true for men too.

On the way back to the dormitory, Heechul and I stood shoulder to shoulder and talked a lot about the company and our future debut. Listening to what Heechul said, I hopefully imagined my future on the stage, and also Imagining many beautiful things in the future, imagining that I will be successful in the near future, repay my parents, and realize my dreams.It's a really good feeling, and even though it hasn't materialized, even if it's just saying that, there's that sense of satisfaction.

Walking to the door of the dormitory, I suddenly saw a tall and thin figure standing downstairs, as if waiting for someone.Xiche and I stopped in our tracks. Xiche looked at the man, was stunned for a moment, and called out, "Yunhao?"

The man raised his head, saw Xiche smiled brightly, and saw me beside him, his face became a little gloomy again.

"Han Geng, go back first, I have something to talk to Yunho." Heechul said to me, I saw Yunho's embarrassed look, didn't think much, and went upstairs by myself.

Walking in the stairs, I felt that something was wrong with the atmosphere just now, the way Yunho looked at Heechul, and the way Heechul looked at Yunho, seemed to be a little special.Recalling the scene with Junying in the restaurant at that time, I was taken aback by the rumors about Heechul and Yunho from other trainees. Could it be that what they said was true?No way, it should be just a rumor, but I don't know why the game is suddenly uneasy.

Immediately ran upstairs, and saw two people downstairs from the window, standing in the dark road waiting to say something, the voice could not be heard clearly, but the expression was clearly a little sad.What are they mourning for?Why Yunho's eyes sparkle?Why does Heechul look so sorry?Why did Yunho hold Heechul's hand?Why did Heechul shake her head helplessly at him?Why did Yunho hug Heechul again?Why did Heechul pat Yunho on the shoulder comfortingly?

I stood alone in front of the window, my mind was a little confused, as if I accidentally discovered Heechul’s big secret, I was very disturbed and scared, and I thought of the little supporting role in the TV series who discovered the protagonist’s secret and was silenced, suddenly I feel a little heroic, and feel my heart beating in a mess. I don't know why, it seems to be a little lost, a little surprised, and a little happy, an inexplicable feeling.Perhaps at that time, the inexplicable feelings in my heart had already arisen. The feelings for Heechul were no longer just "worship", but also more love and more complicated.

It wasn't until Xiche returned to the dormitory and saw that I was out of my mind that I realized that I had overreacted, maybe I was thinking too much, maybe they didn't have anything.However, eyes can't lie, and sincere eyes can't be acted out, at least for now, we don't have such superb acting skills.

"Heechul, you and Yunho...are you okay?" Sitting on the table, Heechul poured a glass of water to drink, and I sat opposite him and asked cautiously.

"It's okay, why do you ask that?" He answered calmly, but his eyes flickered, and he took another sip of water with a little anxiety, then suddenly realized something, and looked at me, "Han Geng, don't think about it, don't be like those People who don’t know anything and make random guesses.”

"No, I don't have any..." I hurriedly explained, not wanting Heechul to treat me as the kind of person who talks about right and wrong.

"Yunho and I are good brothers, good brothers." He seemed to say to himself, then got up and went back to the room, leaving me there alone, thinking about the meaning of his words, I think I understand Yes, I just don't want to think about it.TVXQ has formed an army and is about to debut, and SJ’s situation has basically settled down. Heechul, Yunho, me and Jaejoong are all like this. Fate has drawn us to two different areas, and there may be intersections. , but in the end there are already two worlds.

After another practice, Heechul and I were having dinner at a restaurant near the company, and we encountered that situation again, someone was talking about Heechul and Yunho, saying that they should be separated now, it would be a bit embarrassing to meet at the company, see There is nothing wrong with coming to the past.

I didn't know why, but I got angry all of a sudden, and I stood up after dropping my chopsticks, and got angry at those people, which shocked the originally calm Heechul.

"Ah! What are you talking nonsense here? Heechul and Yunho are just good brothers. Why do you say that about them? Could it be that you and your brother have a better relationship? Why are they both men? You care about so much? If the friendship between men is better, you will say that, don't you all have close brothers?"

Those people were also stunned by my yelling, and looked at me for a while, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, Han Geng, are you alright?" Heechul tugged on my sleeve to calm me down.I just came back to my senses and realized that I was too impulsive, why did I get angry all of a sudden?

"Yeah, why are you teaching us here?" One of them said in disbelief.

"Because I'm a good friend of Heechul, I know what kind of person Heechul is, but you don't even know, so you're just talking nonsense here."

They looked at Heechul who was opposite me, and Heechul glared at them. They all lowered their heads in shame and stopped arguing with me.

Heechul pulled my sleeve to make me sit down, instead he smiled calmly and asked me, "Han Geng, I didn't even know you had such a side?"

"Huh? What kind of side?" I don't understand.

"So you get angry too?"

"Oh...I just...can't bear them talking about you..." I explained nervously.

"Why? You just said that we are good friends, but it seems that we are not that close?" He said bluntly, which made me a little embarrassed.

"But... I can't stand them talking about you like that." I lowered my head and continued to eat, whispering.

"So I ask you why?"

"Actually, I admire you very much, Xiche." He continued to whisper.

"Worship? Really?" He was a little proud, "worship me for what?"

"It's just... very capable, and very popular... Oh, let's eat quickly, don't talk about this."

He smiled and continued to eat, then suddenly raised his head and said to me, "Han Geng, Yunho and I really have nothing to do, and besides, I don't like men either."

I looked at him in some confusion, nodded, and said "Oh", without thinking too much, and continued to eat.

Heechul -

In my impression, Han Geng has always been a very quiet person, he doesn't have any troubles, he seems very easy-going and kind.It's just that my original personality is a bit eccentric, and I don't get close to anyone easily. For this foreigner who is not good at Korean, I have always insisted on the mentality of "he is him and I am me".

But that time when he spoke for me, I was really surprised. I thought he only regarded me as a friend, but I didn't expect him to say that he worshiped me and would protect me when others talked nonsense about me.Only then did I realize that the person beside me was not just a foreigner, he was already my friend, my teammate, and would become a good brother, and I even had a feeling that I could rely on him.

I'm not someone who easily trusts and relies on someone, because I'm afraid of being hurt, so unless it's a good friend I've approved, I won't give the other person a chance to rely on me.But this foreigner really confused me a bit, because I have never had any impression of foreigners, and even had a concept of 'people who are not of my race must have different hearts', but Han Geng's gentleness and loyalty made me change more or less After getting this impression, it is also the same to hear other people's rumors about him, saying that he is a very loyal and kind person.

I think maybe Kim Heechul's concept needs to be changed.

Somehow, I told him that I have nothing to do with Yunho, and I also told him that I don't like men.

He was expressionless, and I thought maybe he didn't understand what I said, just heard the literal meaning.In this complex circle, it's not uncommon for men to like men, but maybe he, a traditional Chinese, can't accept it, that's why he gets so excited when others say about me.But the ambiguity between Yunho and I will still exist, whether it is seen by others or by ourselves, but it is only ambiguous.

Yunho said that he had a fight with his girlfriend and asked me to help him reconcile, but when he went to his girlfriend, he treated me as a girl and thought Yunho was cheating on me, so he broke up completely.I also felt sorry, so I comforted him at the door of the dormitory and gave him a hug.Yunho didn't seem to be very sad either, he was just a little bit disappointed and felt a little speechless about this matter.I said do you want me to explain to her again?But he said no, and said that it would be great if his girlfriend could be as good as brother Xichul.

I said you are stupid?I'm a man, how can I be your girlfriend?

He also smiled, with a wry smile, and said, forget it, I was just joking, brother, don't worry about it.

I patted him on the shoulder and told him to go back.

I probably know what this child is thinking. After being a brother for so long, I can feel that little bit of different feelings, so I quickly nip it in the bud, and I can't let it continue to develop, otherwise it will be It will be out of control.This kind of ambiguity is not good for us except as a kingly propaganda.And I'm just a good brother to Yunho, nothing else.Although I'm not sure if I like men, but at least it won't be Yunho.

When Han Geng told me this question, he was always a little cautious. I would find it funny when I saw him like that. Could this kid really think me wrong?Then won't my perfect image in his heart be ruined?Fortunately, he is not the kind of person who talks nonsense, otherwise there will be another big trouble around me.So I really like the feeling of him sitting quietly beside me, very safe and reliable, allowing my heart to calm down, even when I am very irritable.

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