The Human Comedy

After a while, I received a text message from Han Geng. It was from Junying, saying that Han Geng was drunk and asked me to pick him up.Alas, I sighed, and led Xiaomei upstairs again.

I went out after getting very drunk, but luckily Junying was still a little sober, and I was able to take a taxi back by myself. I took Han Geng into the taxi and went back to the hotel. Finally, I threw him on the bed and stopped moving. I also sat on the ground panting. gas.It's really not his fault that this man was drunk.Xiao Ai stood aside and looked at us, looked at me with big innocent eyes, and then at Han Geng, without saying a word.

"Che...Che..." He murmured, and I leaned over to eavesdrop.

"Che, I miss you." He said in Korean, a little vague, but I heard it so clearly.

"I know, it's right here." I patted his face and said.

"Che, I'm sorry..." He suddenly took my hand and said.His hands were very hot, or very warm. I don't know if it was because of the alcohol. His eyes were also red, which made me feel very distressed.

"I'm not by your side, you are sad alone...I miss you so much, miss you so much..." He continued to talk, and I continued to be moved.The so-called 'speaking the truth after drinking' is what they are talking about.

Han Geng--

I was really happy to meet Junying. When drinking with him, I remembered many past events, such as when we were trainees, after our debut, and after we terminated the contract.I seem to get drunk very quickly. In fact, my drinking capacity has been good these years, but why did I get drunk so quickly?

Xi Chul and Xiao Ai kept staring at me, I know that my performance is not very good, but today I really want to drink, get drunk, and want to babble, probably because I met an old friend who is close to me.Junying also patiently accompanied me to drink and listen to my nagging.

Later Xichul took Xiaomei out, maybe because he thought we tasted too much alcohol.

So I seemed to tell Junying a lot about Heechul, he smiled faintly, listened to my nagging, clinked glasses with me from time to time, expressing a few words with emotion.I know this is the feeling of an old friend, there is no need to estimate anything, you can confide in your heart after drinking, he will not be impatient, he will not be disgusted, let alone worry that he will leak the secret.

The days when we left Heechul, the days when we had to live apart, I miss them endlessly day and night.Obviously thinking about going crazy, but still acting as if nothing happened; obviously calling him every day, but still wanting to touch his face and hands; obviously wanting to say something about missing him, but facing all kinds of things carefully people.

In the past, even when I was drunk, I was sober, because I knew that I might 'speak the truth after drinking', so I had to be careful all the time.But occasionally I still accidentally say fragmentary words. Fortunately, many people don't understand what they mean.

~~~~~memories~~~~~

March 2011.I'm preparing for my second solo album, and I'm busy with various entertainments.Once I went out to drink with my friends, and I drank a little too much. I took out my mobile phone and saw that there were no incoming calls or text messages. I felt empty in my heart. I probably couldn't call him today.

"Che, Che..." I looked at the phone and murmured.

A buddy next to me heard it and took a look at me, "What are you quitting? I just drank too much and I want to quit it! No, another bottle!" Then he stuffed me with another bottle.

I smiled wryly, this 'Che' is not that 'withdraw'.But that's fine, you just understand it.

As soon as I looked up and met Sun Le's complicated eyes, I knew I was discovered by him again, including what I just said, he understood what 'withdraw' meant.

I stood up and wanted to go out and get some air.But I accidentally tripped over a table leg, and fell down, knocking my head on the clothes rack next to it. Although it was only made of wood, it still hurt when I knocked on it.I rubbed my forehead, stood up, and continued to walk out.When I got to the door, Sun Le came up and stopped me.

"I'm going for a walk," I said.

He glanced at the phone in my hand, "Going to make a call?"

I didn't want to pay attention to him, just brushed past him and went out.In order not to be seen, I went directly to the top of the building to have a hair dryer, just so I could wake up better.I looked at my phone again, opened the address book, and found that person's name, but I couldn't press the call button no matter what.

I just came back from Shanghai yesterday. I came back a few hours late to see Heechul, and met again in a short rush. Like the last time at Guangzhou Airport, I will only miss him even more after we parted.

Tonight is their Shanghai Encore, the last of the three rounds.Everyone knows what this concert means to them. Heechul and Leeteuk will be serving in the military soon, and the remaining members will be even fewer, so this may be the last reunion in a short time.

Night has fallen, the whole city is brightly lit, I am blowing the spring night wind, and it is a bit cold.I wrapped my coat tightly and felt very lonely. My mind was cleared by the alcohol, but my heart was inexplicably more uncomfortable.At this time, the concert is about to start, right?

Suddenly the phone rang, and I quickly took a look, but it wasn't Heechul, it was a fan, someone I was more familiar with.I know she went back to watch the concert in Shanghai today.

"Hello?" I said, but I couldn't hear what the other party was saying, the scene was very noisy but they seemed to be shouting something neatly, after a few seconds I suddenly understood, what they shouted was: "Han Geng! Han Geng! Han Geng! Han Geng!" The overwhelming shouts were deafening.

I froze there and didn't come back to my senses for a long time.They're calling my name, at SuperJunior's concert.After an unknown period of time, the voice finally calmed down a little, but my heart was still tumbling.The girl over there yelled at me: "Han Geng, did you hear that? They haven't forgotten you, they yelled at you during the last performance, they miss you very much, you know?"

The night wind blows my eyes, dry and then gushing.In addition to excitement, there is also touch and gratitude.

Putting down the phone, my mind was filled with the overwhelming shouts, my thoughts were confused, I couldn't think of anything, and I couldn't control my tear glands.

I crouched down slowly, hugging my shoulders and letting the tears stream down my knees.At this time, someone should hug me, but I don't have one, so I can only hug myself.

In fact, I have always been afraid, afraid that SJ’s fans would abandon me, afraid that the only people who like me will be Geng’s fans—although I also need them, but I miss those who used to follow me quietly without making a big noise Sisters and sisters who made a lot of trouble, I miss those fans who tolerated and loved me back then.Now every time I see fan conflicts, I feel uncomfortable. Whether it is online fights or face-to-face fights, I want to stop them, but I can't. They made me, and I can't ask them for anything in turn.

Now when I hear these people calling me, I have mixed feelings in my heart, and I can't tell what it feels like.If it is more thanks to Geng Fan, maybe I still feel guilty towards them.I don't know how many of them still understand me and support me, but the voice I hear now is the best answer.Thank you, lovely girls, Han Geng will always be your Han Geng.

After calming down for a while, I stood up and went downstairs. As soon as I reached the stairs, I saw Sun Le waiting there.

"Did you call him?"

"what?"

"Don't pretend to be ignorant with me, just now you said 'withdraw', would I not know what to say?"

I am noncommittal.

"You came back more than two hours late yesterday and thought I didn't know?" He said provocatively.

"so what?"

"You are going too far now, what if the media finds out about this?" He took out the same set of training me again, "It was at Guangzhou Airport last time, how dangerous! You are here again this time! Also, before A few days ago in Thailand, the story of you dancing in front of that girl is now being circulated on the Internet! What do you want to do? Don’t you want your image?”

"You are enough!" I was also angry. I didn't want to get angry with him because he was recovering from a serious illness, but sometimes I couldn't bear it anymore. "I have my own sense of what I do, and you don't have to worry about everything."

"You... Why didn't you listen to what I told you? Your kingship is over! What's the use of you still messing with these things!"

"I told you that Heechul and I are not kings!"

"Then why are you still like this? Do you know what it means to dance to that lady Gengxi? Now it is said on the Internet that "The Empress" was written for Kim Heechul!" He was also excited, and I knew he didn't like such things very much He will suppress every time there is a royal meal, especially Heechul's, which is his main target of suppression.I can't say anything in front of others, but it doesn't mean I can't see or hear.

"They can say whatever they like. Are there still few rumors about me?"

"Han Geng, you're crazy! They say you like men and you don't care anymore?" He stared at me with a puzzled expression.

"Hmph, why are you so nervous about whether I like men or women? Do you think I don't know? You suppress those children behind my back. They also like me. Why do you treat them like that?"

"I was trying to destroy their royal fantasy!"

"They have no illusions! Don't you know about me and Heechul? I know you don't like Heechul, but what right do you have to suppress those fans?"

"They are ruining your reputation! If the media finds out, how will you explain it?"

"I have my own sense of proportion, and I won't cause trouble for everyone, don't worry."

"Han Geng!" He yelled at me angrily, we had conflicts because of Heechul before, but it was just a hint of sarcasm, never had such a fierce quarrel.

"Anyway, you are determined to be with Kim Heechul, right? You can let go of fame and career, right?" He continued to press.

"If those things could be avoided, I wouldn't have endured until now! I know that the public will find it difficult to accept us, so I have endured until now, just to protect my career and Heechul's. I have been trying to find a balance, but don't You don’t have the right to force me to give up Heechul for my career.”

"You...you mean...you're crazy Han Geng!" He pointed at me and yelled, he was shocked because I, who was always calm and calm, actually said something like 'I will give up my career for Heechul'.

"I'm not crazy! I'm sober. Don't force me anymore, or don't blame me for doing something shocking. It won't be good for everyone." I brushed his body, turned and went downstairs.

In fact, I was probably trying to scare him. His understanding of Han Geng is still correct—I am calm and calm, and I will always think rationally and then act rationally when things happen.It's just that when encountering Heechul's problems, Han Geng will be a little different from Han Geng, sometimes he will be impulsive, and sometimes he will be flustered.Maybe I don't dare to do anything shocking to the world, but if it's for Heechul, maybe I will really think about it seriously - if the world betrays me, should I give up my true love for the sake of reputation.

Already in the mood for drinking, I went back to the private room, put on my coat and left by myself.I can’t drive and I didn’t take a taxi, so I walked on the road by myself. It’s already dark anyway, and no one can recognize me when I wear a hat. It’s not very far from home. The evening wind in spring is a bit cold, but it’s comfortable to hang on my body and keeps me awake. .

The lights on the side of the road are a bit dim, and many Korean restaurants on the west side of Wangjing are lit with Korean characters.Renting a house here was actually selfish, on the one hand because the conditions here are better, and on the other hand because it is like a Korean street in Beijing.At that time, some friends laughed at me, why haven't I stayed in Korea enough?Are you still looking for a place where Koreans gather after you come back?I just smiled and said that the houses here are cheap and nice, but I actually had a special hope in my heart—if he could come one day, he would not get lost near my house, and he could find a lot of food that suits his taste. Restaurant.

I didn’t know how long I walked alone, I felt a bit cold, and there was still some distance from my home, so I walked into a nearby store to take a look. At this time, the store was about to close, so I should not recognize many people, and I would not be recognized.

Somehow, I just don't want to go home, I'm alone at home, very lonely.So I thought of my own song "sayno": "Driving around alone obviously has a home and won't go back | Anyway, I just sleep alone when I go back | Suddenly I feel that there is time to waste..." I have no time to waste, I am tired when I am busy I am dying, but when I am free, I can only feel lonely. There is no one around me who can talk, no one who can relax me, no one who smiles at me and acts like a baby.The cost of long-distance calls continues to increase, and I keep calling Heechul every day. Even if I don’t know what to say, it’s good to just listen to his voice, so I won’t feel so lonely, as warm as if he is by my side.

And at night like this, when everyone in Shanghai was going crazy, I was wandering around the mall alone aimlessly.What if I was there with them?Well, it's over, why bother?

Wandering around the mall, I saw rings on the counter, shiny, platinum, and some with diamonds.Looking up, I saw a wedding photo of a handsome man and a beautiful woman, with a pair of bright rings on their hands and a happy smile on their faces.

When will I be as happy as Heechul?Seeing such a harmonious picture of others, sometimes we will think of our bleak future.Although we are all determined to persevere, who can predict the future?I am really afraid that one day we will be separated, I am afraid that we will become strangers, and I also know that it is difficult for each other to bear such a blow, especially with a fragile heart like Heechul.

Sitting in the rest area to rest, flipping through the phone in boredom, I really want to find someone to talk to, but no one around me can.Suddenly, I came across a sister I met a long time ago, my sister Fan who I have known since my debut, and I have kept in touch these years, but after returning to China, I haven’t contacted for a long time.So she dialed that number, feeling a little nervous, maybe she had changed her phone number, maybe she was married and had a child, would she still like Han Geng?

Quite unexpectedly, they got through, and the other party called out in surprise, "Han Geng?"

It turned out that she didn't change her number, and she still had my number.

"Well, I'm Han Geng, sister."

"Is it really you? Why did you call me suddenly?"

"Oh, I..." I didn't know what to say for a while, I rarely contacted the fans I knew, not only she was a little panicked, but I was too.

"Is there something wrong with you?" She tentatively asked with some worry.

"Sister, do you have time to come out now?"

"Now?" She was surprised again. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, would you like to talk to my sister?"

"Where are you?"

I mentioned a coffee shop, and she agreed without hesitation, "I'll be right there, just wait for me."

I suddenly felt warm in my heart. At this time, there are still people willing to see me and chat with me.Although I am a big star who attracts everyone's attention, it is really difficult to find someone who can speak my mind.

I went downstairs, went to the nearby coffee shop I told my sister about, sat down in a corner, ordered coffee and waited for her.Sure enough, she came after a while. I was a little touched to see her sitting in front of me. She had changed a lot, but she still looked at me with concerned eyes.

"what happened to you?"

"It's okay, it's just boring alone." I said lightly.

"Boring? Did I hear you right? You are Han Geng!" She looked at me in surprise, and said in disbelief, "There must be something wrong, right? Otherwise, I wouldn't have called me out so late."

I bit my lip, unable to justify it, so I had to acquiesce.

She asked the waiter to order a glass of juice, took a few sips, and looked at me as if she wanted to see through me.I avoided her gaze and looked out the window, thinking about what to tell her.Maybe she knows about Heechul, but I haven't told her explicitly, and I don't know if she will object to Heechul.But after all, she is my sister who cares about me, otherwise she wouldn't run out for me at this time.When I saw her getting out of the car just now, it seemed that her husband drove her here.It turned out that she was married.

-----------End of this chapter----------------------------

What will my sister talk to Geng Bao about?whee……