The Human Comedy

We discovered each other's feelings, it seemed to be a sudden thing, but it was so natural.Although I was in a disturbed mood, I was so happy when we were together.At that time, although I was faintly worried, I thought, let’s enjoy this feeling of happiness for a while. I was greedy for the smile Heechul gave me, for the tenderness and coquettishness he gave me, and for every moment when he was by my side. Even if I can only stay by his side in the present moment, I will be satisfied.

The days passed quickly like this, our popularity is getting higher and higher, and there are more and more activities, Geng Che's royal way quickly became famous.When I saw the P pictures of Heechul and me from fans on the Internet, and saw those novels written about us, I suddenly realized that our intimacy has been seen by others a long time ago, and they have already made various speculations and imaginations.We are imagined as lovers, and the company also has such a "kingly" publicity strategy, so they don't interfere, let the fans entertain themselves, and even arrange our ambiguity in front of the camera to cater to the fans' interest.

So I finally started to really worry. I used to think that as long as I can be by his side like this, even if it is just a close friend, it will be good for a lifetime.But the various fantasies of the fans also aroused my fantasies, what would happen if we became lovers?In that case, wouldn't we be gay?I have always had no concept of the word "gay". I always thought I liked gentle and quiet girls with long legs and long hair, and I am still interested in long-legged girls, but I did fall in love with Heechul, and He is indeed a man, how could this be?

Thinking back to the girlfriends I had when I was in school in Beijing, they really met my criteria for choosing a mate, and the relationship was quite pleasant, but it has always been the faint feeling of first love, the surging feeling for Heechul has never been Never before, even holding hands and kissing with her is a faint feeling, a little nervous, but there is no feeling of heartbeat.Maybe I was too young at that time to understand the relationship between the sexes?Maybe we are in love, but we don't have that deep love yet.

So what about me to Heechul?Is it really love?Mentally speaking, I do like him, I will be very happy with him, I will feel lost when I see him with others, I will be nervous about him, care about him and even depend on him; physically, he has indeed become my I fantasize about my partner, especially after taking a bath for him, the inadvertent physical contact in my life makes me feel unnatural, and I often fantasize about weird things, which also makes me very distressed.So I confirmed in my heart that I really fell in love with him. From the spirit to the body, I wanted to be his lover, to stand by his side dignifiedly, to protect him, to take care of him, and to share weal and woe with him.

However, at this moment, Heechul suddenly confessed his love to me.I was elated, but at a loss for what to do.I really want to hug him tightly and say to him, Heechul, I love you too, I love you very much, and I would like to be by your side forever.But I didn't say it, hiding my excitement, but I couldn't answer him.So we fell into a cold war, and I started to avoid him, avoid his eyes, and stop being glued to him.Every time I see him absent-minded when he is with Ki-bum, it hurts my heart, but I don't want him to see me lost.

I have a lot of questions to think about. Apart from the question of whether I love him or not, there are many complicated factors that restrict us and make our love full of ups and downs. I seem to see everything in the future.What will happen after becoming his lover?Others will think that Han Geng is gay, and if he is with Kim Heechul, who is already a strange person, many people will scold us, our family members will be sad and disappointed, our fans may be puzzled and angry, and the company may put us Abandoning Xuezang... The consequences of all this are unimaginable.

If our future is like this, shall we still love each other?But not to fall in love is easier said than done?For two people who are already in love!

During that time, I was struggling like this. Even when I went back to China for activities, I asked my Chinese friends to help me introduce my girlfriend, trying to divert my attention and prove that I am a 'normal' man who likes women, but I will do it after all. less than.No matter what beautiful woman I am with, whether eating, singing or playing, what I think about is always those clear and bright eyes, his bright smile is always in my eyes, and his slightly hoarse voice is always in my ears. Even when hugging them, what he felt was his soft body.I think I'm crazy, Kim Hee Chul made Han Geng crazy.

I even called a psychological consultation anonymously, but the psychiatrist there told me: Homosexuality is not a mental illness, and it cannot be treated. Whatever you do, you need to slowly identify with yourself.It's a pity that it's hard for me to identify with myself. At present, the only man I have feelings for is Heechul, and I still have feelings when I see beautiful women. So, am I bisexual?Oh, it's annoying, I don't want to.

After returning to Korea after the activities in China, when I saw Heechul, I was very happy, but I still had to pretend to be careless. It was really painful. I wanted to hug him and kiss him, but I could only stay away. Take a sneak peek.Because I haven't figured out a lot of things, and I'm not ready to face him or our future.I am such a person, I will not start easily, once I start, I must persevere and never give up easily, whether it is career or love.I love Heechul, I want to be with him, but I can't accept our future with no results, knowing that it will be difficult to be together in the future, we must be prepared to face all difficulties.

By chance, I was shopping in the supermarket downstairs, and I met a girl who said she was a Chinese fan. I greeted her cordially, and then I was surprised to see another girl running towards us and hugging her waist, kissing her cheek intimately.I froze for a moment.

She was very natural, she smiled and said to me: "Brother Han Geng, this is my girlfriend, she is Korean, but we love each other."

I froze for a moment and said "Hi" to her.

"She also likes you very much, we are all ELFs, I like you the most, and she likes Heechul the most."

"Oh, thank you." I said with a smile.

"Brother, you won't look down on us, will you?" Seeing my stiff expression, she asked tentatively.

"No, how could it be? This is your freedom." I explained, and I am still struggling, what right do I have to look down on you? "But, don't you care what other people think? What are you going to do in the future?"

They smiled and interlocked their fingers, and continued to say to me, "We are still young. As long as we continue to love each other, there will be nothing we can't solve. Even if there is, as long as she is there, I won't be afraid. As for other people's eyes...as long as we It doesn't matter if you don't hurt others and can be accepted by your family. Life is so short, if you can't be with the person you love the most, why are you so busy?"

I nodded, thinking that what she said made a lot of sense.The way they looked at each other made me both surprised and envious. Is it possible for two people of the same sex to be so happy when they love each other?Thinking back, there are many moments like this between Heechul and I, I am afraid that others have noticed it, and they have already discovered it.

"Brother Han Geng, I know you..." She hesitated to speak, then smiled, "Don't mind, if you really love someone, you must be brave enough to catch him! True love doesn't happen all the time Yes, the right person you meet at the right time is only one person in your life, don’t miss it, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

"Ah? What did you say?" I pretended not to understand.

She stuck out her tongue, "I hope you are happy. I know you are a persistent person, you will not give up easily, and you are also a person with your own opinions, you will not follow the crowd, right? Don't let down this fate. You shrink back because of love But you have become a coward, and you are a real man if you face it bravely."

I bowed my head and smiled bitterly, silent.

"Oppa, be nice to our Heechul, don't you love him very much?" Another girl said suddenly, smiling brightly, which reminded me of Heechul's bright smile.I froze for a moment, then smiled and nodded to them.

"Brothers, please be happy! Be like us!" The Korean girl held the hand of the Chinese girl, and the two of them disappeared from my sight.Looking at their happy backs, I suddenly thought about many things, and I have been entangled in my affairs these days.

Just in love, what's the big deal?Han Geng, when did you become such a mother-in-law?You love him, and he loves you too. What's wrong with this love?As for other things, let nature take its course and it will always be resolved. Even if we encounter difficulties, we can face them together.Whether it is heaven or hell, as long as he is by your side, you will not be afraid; whether it is pain or happiness, you must bear it together, and you will not do things that are shouldered or shirk responsibility. This kind of love is equal and respectful love. what?

So, that night, when there were only the two of us left in the dormitory, I cooked noodles for Heechul, and then decided to confess my love to him.These days of the cold war, I'm afraid he was injured a lot, thought I would back down, said a lot of pessimistic words, I finally couldn't help but kissed him, told him my decision, I want to be with him, no matter what the future holds .

So, we started a love affair.They stuck together again, but it was much sweeter than the ambiguous one before. There was infinite love between the eyebrows, and even in front of the camera, they were much more presumptuous.I didn't like to show our private feelings in front of the camera before, but now I can't hide my love for him.Some fans said that Han Geng can melt everything when he sees Kim Heechul's gentle eyes. Whoever gets such pampering is really lucky. Although he can't say it out loud, it is enough to make Kim Heechul the happiest person.

For such a high evaluation, I feel ashamed, but I will work hard towards this goal.Knowing that our love will not be as smooth as ordinary people, I don't dare to ask for forever and stay together forever, I just want to be close to each other and never leave.

==========================

The following is really the first night, I am nervous, I got stuck at the critical moment,

So first post this paragraph first, do you want to write it in detail?The Lun family was afraid of being caught and said...

But it doesn’t seem like a lot of fun if I don’t go into details... By the way, YS will have a midnight show tonight...

Jane: Can't you imitate something else?Xi: Oh, I know xx (I can’t hear what animal) the mating sound Jane: Change another... Xi: Then learn the sound of a pig mating... Jane: You can’t learn a normal sound except for mating Xi: Let me learn it first, you listen to it... oh well, when the song is playing, I will learn it first and let the PD listen to it. If it can be played, I will learn it again

It's been a long time since the Lun family wrote about H...

I don't know what kind of first night everyone is looking forward to? ?

One night, after taking a shower, we were sitting on the sofa watching TV, Kangin and Leeteuk, but Heechul and I kept fighting and teasing each other, so no one could watch TV anymore. Leeteuk suddenly got mad and pointed at Heechul. Che shouted: "Ah! Kim Heechul, are you crazy? What happened these days? Didn't you take your medicine?"

Xiche rolled his eyes at him, "I just didn't take the medicine, so I don't care?"

"You..." Lite was angry, and Qiangren touched Lite's arm, "Brother, don't be like Brother Xiche, let him go crazy."

"Why am I crazy! I'm crazy when I'm happy!" Heechul was dissatisfied.

I hurried up to grab Heechul, "Okay, let's stop making trouble and go back to sleep."

Heechul curled his lips and reluctantly went back to the room with me. I inadvertently saw Qiangren handing Leeteuk a meaningful look, and I knew what they had discovered.

"Han Geng, Jung-soo and Yeong-woon seem to have found out about us, don't you think?" Heechul said to me after closing the door.

"Well, Ki Fan should have found out too." I said calmly.

He leaned in front of me, blinking at me with big eyes, "Don't you care? Are you afraid of being discovered by them?"

I turned around and spread the quilt, "What are you afraid of? Anyway, they will know sooner or later."

He stood behind me, seemed to be stunned, and asked after a while, "Then, what are you going to do? How do you explain it to them?"

"Explain what? Just confess. They are my brothers anyway, so they should understand." I pulled him to sit down and said patiently.

He seemed surprised by my attitude, didn't he expect me to be so calm?The big eyes stared at me all the time, looking a little confused.

I took his hand to comfort him, "Heechul, more and more people will find out about us in the future, members, managers, cody, staff, and even our fans will find out. These are Sooner or later, we don’t have to be afraid, if they find out, they will find out, it’s nothing.”

"Then what should we do then? Are we going to refuse to admit it?"

"It's useless not to admit it. You can deny it with your mouth, but our actions can't deceive people. Don't you often surf the Internet? Have you ever seen our photos in front of the camera?"

He pursed his lips and nodded, with sweetness and worry in his eyes, "It's completely loving eyes, which can't be concealed."

"Yes, so even if we don't admit it, people with a heart will still see it. But as long as we don't admit it, others can't do anything about it. For our future, we must be careful about this matter. Before we are strong enough Before, I kept this feeling in my heart, as long as you know that I love you, and I know that you love me, it’s fine, understand?"

He looked at me and nodded, his eyes sparkled, as if he was moved, he leaned over and kissed my face, "Han Geng, you think so much, I was troubled before, and you understood it when you said it. "

I rubbed his hair and said with a smile, "If you have any troubles in the future, tell me, don't you want to know alone? We have to solve problems together."

He nodded obediently and leaned on my shoulder obediently.In fact, Xi Chul in private is not as fierce as the legend says, when he was at home, he was actually a very obedient child, maybe it was because of me, he listened to me very much.

Then I told him about the two female fans I met that day, and he listened in amazement, as if listening to something very proud, "There is such a thing! Two girls love each other, it is really unimaginable! "

I fell back on the bed and stretched out comfortably, "Aren't we also two boys in love?"

"But that's different!" He also fell beside me and said with great interest.

"Why is it different?"

"..." He couldn't remember what to say for a moment.What's the difference?Two boys and two girls, all of the same sex.

Suddenly there was an itch on my neck, it was he who leaned up, put his arms around my waist, and rubbed my hair against my neck, hugged for a while, and suddenly he laughed, which made me itch, "What are you laughing at?" ah?"

"Han Geng, how do you think two girls are having sex?" He asked me with wide eyes, with a provocative expression.

"This..." really stumped me, how would I know? "Why do you think about these weird things?"

"Why is it so strange? Couples always want to have sex, but neither of the two girls... Well, how do I pinch it?" While talking, I became dishonest, and my hands moved on my body, from my waist Feeling around, sneaking down to reach that part.

I grabbed dishonesty's hand and glared at him, and he glared back at me.

"What do you want?" I asked warily.

"You haven't answered me yet." He smiled nonchalantly.

"I don't know." I pouted and closed my eyes.

"Han Geng!" Acting like a baby, I ignored it. "Han Geng~~" I continued to act like a baby, and I continued to pretend to be dead. "Han Geng~~~"

I couldn't help scratching my body, turned over and pressed him down, met his big surprised eyes, and I smiled, "Those two men have both, what do you say? I know this, do you want to?" try?"

His face flushed 'shua', his big watery eyes blinked, he opened his mouth but didn't say anything.